Hassenfeld Pony Anthology

by Chicago Ted

The Real Hero

Just before he walked into the communications room, Matt inserted his card into the punch clock, and waited a moment. 10 PM—right on time. He slipped the card back into its sleeve, and went over to his desk.

His coworker was just about to wrap up her shift. “Hey, Lisa,” Matt greeted. “Got anything going on?”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Don’t I always?” she replied. She started logging out of her terminal account. “We have a structure fire at 2400 of Jackson, and a 211 at Bishop and Elm.”

“Wait, 2400 of Jackson?” His eyes went wide. “Please tell me that’s not Meyer’s Emporium.”

“It is.” She nodded. “Other than that, today’s actually been pretty—”

“Nope, nope! Don’t say it!”

She quickly caught herself. “Sorry. Nearly jinxed it.” She pulled off her headset and receiver and handed them to him. “Your turn. Good luck, champ.”

Matt pulled on the headset and took Lisa’s place. She walked away to punch out. Right as Matt got himself set up, a cell call came in from the 2400 block of Jackson Street. Instinctively, he knew who was calling. “Hey Tony, how’s the fire?” he asked.

“Completely contained,” Tony replied. “I dunno how well Mr. Meyer’s insurance is gonna take the news. His supermarket is just toast at this point.”

Matt sighed. “Yeah, I’m gonna miss that place. How’s Mr. Meyer? Is he okay?”

“Accidentally breathed in some smoke, so he’s on oxygen right now. Good news is he should be fine, or so the EMTs said.”

“Alright, I’ll mark this as resolved. Good job out there.”

⁂

Perhaps thanks to Lisa’s quick thinking, the night was almost perfectly silent; hardly any calls came in. Matt was starting to get bored—but right at 4:34 AM, another call came in. He sipped some coffee, then calmly took it. “911, what’s your emergency?”

A young-sounding female voice came on, seemingly panicked. “Please, you’ve got to help me! My owner won’t wake up, even though he usually does at this time! I’ve tried, but he’s still asleep!”

Owner? That stunned Matt for a moment, but he snapped out of it to ask her, “What’s your address, miss?”

“It’s—uh. . . .” Does she not know her own address? He thought he could hear rustling paper on the other end. Then she told him, “One-four-two-seven Maple Avenue. Please hurry!”

“Miss, I need you to relax. I’ll get someone out to you. In the meantime—” he started dispatching the nearest available ambulance, from St. John Hospital “—I need you to do a few things for me, okay?”

The caller took a deep breath. “Right. What?”

“First, can you check for your. . . owner’s pulse?” His mouse cursor hovered over the tickbox.

A pause. She must be doing that. Then she starts panicking again. “No pulse!”

Matt already feared for the worst, but knew he had to calm her down for the next step. He ticked the box, which opened up the next question. “Okay, do you know how to perform CPR?”

“Uh. . . I think so? Thirty chest compressions, two rescue breaths. . . right?”

Matt smiled. Not too bad. “That’s right, but first make sure there are no obstructions in his breathing.”

“Okay, let me see. . . airway’s clear, let’s do this.” She evidently set the phone down and started pressing on his chest. “How long do I do this?”

“Until help arrives,” he answered. He checked the map—the ambulance was still several blocks away, but was closing in fast. “It should be there any second. You’re doing great; don’t give up.”

“I hope you’re right!” She inhaled sharply, presumably for the rescue breathing. A few moments of chest compressions later, she stopped. “There’s someone at the door. Is it them?”

Matt checked the map again. The ambulance had just arrived at the 1400 block of Maple. “Yes, it’s them. Please let them inside.”

She was gone in an instant. Matt thought he heard galloping hooves. Am I going crazy? Then he heard footsteps come into the room. “This him?” an EMT asked. Matt recognized his voice—it was Eddie, his childhood friend. For now, though, he had to focus on saving a life, if it were still possible. “Yes, it’s him,” she told Eddie. “Can you help him?”

Matt heard something moving around. Eddie then sighed. “Rigor mortis,” he said. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do for him. He’s dead.”

“Okay miss,” Matt said, “I’m going to hang up.” And then he did just that. Meanwhile, he marked the 1400 of Maple case as resolved. So long, sir. . . . Well. He’d have to talk with Eddie about this over breakfast later in the morning.

Another call came in a moment later. It was not the same number as before. Oh well, duty calls.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

⁂

6 AM. Matt sighed in relief. The next guy was already walking up to his desk. “Morning, Toby.” He stretched out. “I’ve got a gas leak along Fifth Street. Police have closed it off already, and fire crews are on site.”

“Oh boy, my favorite.” Toby sipped some of his coffee. “Ready to tag out?”

Matt was slipping off his headset, having logged out already. “All yours, man. Go get ’em.”

Toby took the headset, thus freeing Matt from his desk. He went back to the punch clock, punched out, and grabbed his car keys. Even though he’d been staring at several computer monitors for an entire shift, the morning sunlight still hurt his eyes. After taking a moment to adjust, he got into his car and called Eddie.

It rang a few times, then he picked it up. “Hey Matt!” he said. “I thought I heard you earlier this morning.”

“You did,” Matt replied. “It was that 1400 of Maple at half-past four. I’ve got several questions about that call.”

“I figured you would. Meet me at Hungry Joe’s, I’ll answer them all.”

“Sure, on my way.” Matt started the engine. “Guess it’s my turn to buy, huh?”

“Yep. See you there!” Eddie then hung up.

Matt shifted into gear, and pulled out of the lot. Okay, he thought, Fifth is closed for a gas leak. . . If I take Fourth and cut across Rose, I should be fine. Wonder how bad traffic is gonna be.

⁂

Matt pulled his car into a parking space at Hungry Joe’s Diner. Traffic was increased, but not terribly much. Apparently Sixth was the public’s alternative. He killed the engine, got out, and went inside.

The usual breakfast crowd was here—and there, in the middle of it all, was Eddie, who had already ordered Matt’s usual for him. “Hey Matt!” he called out. “Traffic keep you?”

“Nah, not really.” Matt took a seat. “So, about the 1400 of Maple—”

“Right, I know what you’re thinking, but you’d never guess who the patient was.” Eddie grabbed his sandwich, but anticipated a response from Matt.

Matt only shrugged while sipping his drink, but it was enough for Eddie.

“Old Man Whatley!”

Matt struggled not to spit. “Seriously? Him? I’m surprised he didn’t die sooner.”

Eddie swallowed his bite. “Same. Just shy of eighty-eight—I’d say he had a good run.” He chuckled. “Hard to believe that’s the same old geezer who yelled at me when I threw the paper at his porch.”

Matt stopped cutting into his pancakes and looked up. He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean? Wasn’t he always like that?”

“Apparently he changed. And this is the part you’ve been waiting for.” Eddie set his sandwich down.

“He got a granddaughter?” Matt guessed.

“Nope! He got himself one of them Hassenfeld ponies.”

“Oh! I’ve heard of those,” Matt said. “Not your usual run-of-the-mill ponies, right?”

“Right. They’re made—not bred, made—and sold by Hasbro Biotech, spearheaded by fans of a children’s cartoon made a decade ago.” Eddie returned to his sandwich.

“Wasn’t your cousin a fan of that show?” Matt asked. He dipped some bacon into the egg yolks.

“Yeah, and now his STEM degree makes sense.” Eddie sipped some of his drink. “Well, more sense than it normally does. Anyway, you were wondering who was calling, that was his Hassenfeld.”

Owner. . . galloping towards the door. . . now it all makes sense. But still. . . . “I guess he was just lonely,” Matt theorized. “But why not get a dog or something?”

“Dogs can’t exactly talk back. . . and Hasbio doesn’t have the rights to Clifford. Not yet, anyway.” Eddie cleared his throat.

“So what happens to her?” Matt washed down his food with his drink.

“We just leave it to Animal Control. First thing they do is start making calls to friends and relatives to see if they’re willing to take in the pony.” Eddie swallowed his bite. “Turns out Old Man Whatley was a lot lonelier than I thought—they couldn’t hail anyone. The pony was all he had.” He sighed. “So they had to drop by to pick her up themselves. She’s probably at a shelter someplace right now.”

Matt cocked his head. “I thought they were too attached to their owners to let them be adopted out.”

“See, you would think that.” Eddie snapped his fingers. “It’s possible, but it’s very difficult. They make a deep bond with the first person they see when they climb out of the cryobox, which can’t be severed. Unless. . . .” Eddie pulled out his phone and started tapping and scrolling rapidly.

Matt waited with baited breath, eager to see what solution Eddie had in mind.

“Bingo!” He turned his phone around to show Matt. “Hasbio’s been working on a new drug for that—Project Midsummer. One injection lets the ponies reset that bond. Trouble is, it’s only being trialled in a few big pounds. I doubt it’s anywhere near here.”

“You know which shelter she’s at?” Matt asked with a renewed interest.

“I dunno, Pueblo Heights? That’s the usual one. Why?” Then Eddie’s eyes went wide. “You’re not seriously considering—”

“I am.”

“Matt, buddy, I love you, but you’ve got enough on your plate as it is.” Eddie put his phone away. “You seriously think you’ve got time for a pet, never mind a broken Hassenfeld? And what if they don’t have any Midsummer?”

“Then that’s the chance I’m willing to take.” Matt sounded resolute.

“Are you just going to bring in every broken Hassenfeld in the city? Huh?”

Matt shook his head. “This one singlehandedly turned Old Man Whatley into one of the happiest people in the world. I owe it to her. We owe it to her.” He sighed. “Look, I’ll work things out, okay? It’ll be fine.” He then got up and walked away.

Eddie was surprised. “Dude!” he called back. “You said you were gonna pay!”

⁂

Matt parked his car at Pueblo Heights Animal Shelter. He killed the engine and went inside. Okay Matt, how do you ask them about Old Man Whatley’s pony?

When he opened the door, an overhead bell rang. The receptionist looked up to see him. “Good morning, sir!” she greeted. “How can I help you?”

“Hey, uh. . . .” C’mon Matt, think! Think! “I’m looking for a particular pony. Should’ve gotten here this morning.”

She tilted her head. “That’s oddly specific. What makes you think that?”

Alright, time to lay the cards on the table. “I work as a 911 operator,” Matt explained. “Early this morning, I got a call, apparently from that pony, that her owner wouldn’t wake up. EMTs said he was dead on the scene.”

“Oh. . . my.” Matt looked up to see what looked like a butter-yellow pegasus, with a baby-pink mane and tail. “That sounds tragic,” the pony said.

It was the first time Matt had ever seen a Hassenfeld pony.

“Anyway, they told me that Animal Control dropped her off here, since they couldn’t get ahold of anyone to take her in. So, well. . . .” He scratched the back of his neck. “. . . I’d like to. Take her in, I mean.”

The receptionist smiled. “I really wish more people were like you,” she told him. Phew! Nailed it. She turned to the pony. “Fluttershy, would you show him to the enclosure?”

“Sure!” Fluttershy turned to the door. “Follow me, please!” Matt followed her down the hall, to the second right, outside the building. There was a large, walk-in cage with four Hassenfelds, none of which looked remotely like the others, or Fluttershy. “You want the purple one,” she told Matt. “She’s a Twilight model, but her name is Twinkle.”

Twinkle’s ears cropped up.

“Okay, thank you. I’ll take it from here.” Fluttershy flew off, back to the front desk it seemed. He knelt down. “Twinkle?”

She turned her head around, tears still trickling down her face.

“My name is Matt,” he told her. “Do you remember me? When you called 911, you were talking to me.”

Twinkle’s temper flared up. “And then you hung up!” Then she sighed, and looked down on the ground, her anger gone as soon as it came.

“I had a job to do,” he explained. “But it doesn’t excuse what I did. That was wrong of me, and I accept that.”

“Saving lives?” she asked. “That’s your job, right? But you couldn’t save him.”

“You can’t save everyone, Twinkle. Mr. Whatley was an old man. He was going to die someday, and no hero can save him from it. But you know what? Twinkle?”

She didn’t respond.

“Twinkle, please look at me.”

Slowly, she looked back up at Matt.

“You’re the real hero here.” Matt said this without any insincerity. “Before he took you in, Mr. Whatley was a pretty cranky old man. I realize now he was just lonely. You only kept him company, but in doing so, you changed a bitter man’s life, for the better. You made him happy in his final years. Honestly, I should be thanking you.”

“You mean that?”

“As sure as the sun shines. And I think anybody would be lucky to adopt you.”

“Really?” She sighed. “You think someone would want a broken pony like me?”

He smiled. “I’ll do you one better.” He opened the door to the enclosure and gestured her out. “C’mon!”

Slowly, and on shaky hooves, Twinkle got up and left the enclosure. She went right into his arms and wept. Matt did his best to hold her, despite the thick, blunt horn on her forehead. For a few moments, he did nothing else, save for stroking her back, silently letting her know that things were going to get better.

Twinkle eventually stopped crying. “Feel better?” he asked.

“A little, I guess.” She got off of him. “Where are we going?”

“Right this way.” Matt stood up and went for the door to the building. He held it open for Twinkle, who entered underneath his arm. He rounded the corner and went straight for the front desk, her following closely behind. When he got there, he rang the desk bell.

“Oh! Hello again,” said the receptionist. “Did you find what—or who—you were looking for?”

“Yeah.” He indicated Twinkle, who, despite her tired, misty eyes, was beaming up at him. “How much to take her home?”

Comments

[Coranth]

You... you stop cutting up those onions, right now!

[Gyro Pony]

Well now this is a unique take on humans and ponies.

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