• Member Since 1st Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen March 13th

Quick Fix


Just a guy from the British Isles with a crazy idea in his head.

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Source

[Just as a heads up for new readers, the comments section is very spoiler heavy]


Manehatten, long held as a shining jewel of Equestria, a city where dreams can happen. For Sweetie Belle, those dreams of sharing her voice with the world have just come back to life. Coupled with her work at her sister's boutique in the big city, along with her friends and fame, everything seems to be coming together for the mare among the stars. Meanwhile back in Ponyville, Rarity's keen eye and business sense remain unhampered by her advancing age, letting her nationwide chain of stores flourish in a time of peace.

If only everything remained so simple.

A shadow looms over Manehatten, a serial criminal known as The White Phoenix, eluding the city police and burning all in it's path. Within the walls of the boutique, a unknown individual is bleeding the business dry without leaving any trace of identity. While one may be more severe, neither can go ignored, especially as Rarity still knows a thing or two about tracking down crime. With their wits, fitting outfits, and a friend in the MPD, Rarity and Sweetie Belle must head into the darker reaches of Manehatten to bring it's safety back into the light.


Coverart by SkyeyPony
Proof-Reading by my BFF Deep Note

Part of the Quickverse, references are made to Rising Above, Heart and Mind and I Knew Him but none are required reading.

Chapters (26)
Comments ( 32 )

JCP has publicized your story!
It is now on its way to becoming a major seller on FIMFiction!

7390613 Oh, oh wow...Thank you man. I mean even if it doesn't get much notice, I really appreciate it.

7395783 Nice, not a bad song either. :yay:

7396014 I pick songs appropriate to the title.

SPOILED RICH COULD BE THE WHITE PHOENIX.

7472543 It's an option for sure. Out of curiosity, what's your basis for thinking that?

I feel like Coco, something with her not getting enough sleep despite going to bed early and the White Phoenix attacks happening at night.
She could perhaps be mind controlled or there could be something else going on. I don't think she is bad, but it's suspicious.

7477985 An interesting hypothesis, we'll see how well it holds up in time.

Ok, so now I'm even more sure Coco is the culprit, because A) it's likely that she went to pick it up or handle the delivery and ended up starting the fire and B) I just noticed there is no OC tag where there would usually be one for the villain. Even if Coco is not the culprit though, I'm still excited that you've updated and that Spoiled has hopefully gotten her just desserts.

I still find Coco suspicious, but please write another chapter, I want to know if I'm right!

7512377 I'll do my best to keep them coming. Glad you're this invested and hopefully you'll enjoy what's still to come.

Still holding out for Coco as the first suspect being the criminal seems too easy, especially before any lives were lost. What reason would he have for attacking the food industry?

7531121 What would Coco have to gain either though? We're only three chapters away from revealing the Phoenix's identity at this point, so the answers will be coming soon enough.

7531969
I'm not saying she has something to actually gain from it. It just seems to be suspicious that she is losing sleep and that it would be entire possible for someone who works closely with Sweetie to forge her signature. Also, I doubt the firepony is actually it. For first responders to be the criminal generally means they want to be save people/ponies and so far no ponies have been hurt.

Okay, so maybe Coco didn't steal the orders, but it is still possible she's the one. In fact, it's more suspicious for her and the other workers at Rarity's Manehattan boutique because of the fashionable source part. I also kinda hope I'm wrong about this though, because I tend to do this a lot with books I read (figuring out who it is before the end) and I miss the excitement and thrill. But still, keep up the good work!

7536947 There's nothing wrong with being perceptive, though that's coupled with this being my first (and likely last) attempt at a mystery story. There'll still be one round of excitement that doesn't involve figuring out who it is though, so hopefully you'll keep enjoying!

7537103
There's nothing wrong with it, it just gets annoying, I mean come on, in the past three years I can count on my hands the number of times a book really shocked me. I literally read a book yesterday where I figured out who the villain was way before the protagonist (who, to be fair, was blinded by the fact she knew said villain) and it became me groaning because, I don't want this character to be the villain but at the same time it's obvious!
Besides that mini rant, this is a really good try at the mystery genre.

Short, but informative. I look forward to seeing more.

7562712 Yeah...Sorry about that.

Wow, nice ending!

7609586 Thanks, and thank you for reading through the whole thing. :twilightsmile:

I've read enough mysteries, I'm going to take a wild guess. Coco is sleepwalking & is The White Phoenix.

Chekhov's Rule basically "If you show a gun in act one, you have to shoot someone by the end of the play"

OK, I'd look for patterns. Same insurance company or realtor? Same line of business or owners? Etc.

*Sigh*
Slander is spoken. Written or broadcast is libel.

Well, the G1 Unicorns it was pretty much all adults but not much more than room length.

Currently (G4), it seems fairly rare. Starlight can, IMO Trixie can't. At least, she didn't in Boast Busters in season one even when threatened by the Ursa. IIRC, Twilight learned in season one when trying to get away from a crowd in Ticket Master

So, teleporting is pretty rare. By analogy, about like being able to do integral calculus. That is, even with a LOT of training (which not everyone has access to) it still takes more ability than most folks have. You don't learn this on your own (unless you are Isaac Newton)

I've read the other stories in your AU so I have enough info to guess

Coco, but she is being mind controlled by Sunset. It is part of Starlight's plan to disrupt Equestria by causing food riots.

7622705 Damn you Chekov, making everyone into a genre-savvy sleuth.

7623440 Huh, weirdly I didn't think of that. Realism is not my strong point.

7623910 It is rare, I mean even putting canon aside, the number of ponies know how to do it here is only 8. (Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Aurora, Starlight Glimmer and Sweetie Belle)

7623923 Could you do me a small favour and put a spoiler tag over that theory please? I mean it's obvious for those who've read the other Quickverse stories but if someone started here, I don't want to give it all away for them.

So in this universe the whole reveal of Svengallop happened earlier than in canon. That's good for Coloratura.

10220326 Took me a few minutes to remember how I was thinking at the time, but things effectively progressed the same as in canon for Rara and this was a few hours after the final scene of the episode. She still got her superstar status back either way.

This was a nice story and I wasn't surprised that Coco Pommel was being mind controlled into being the White Phoenix. Luna's comment about not seeing Coco's dreams was the last clue I needed.

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