The Wedding Aftermath

by Queen Sanguine Dreams

Being Evil and You!

Evil Henchbeing's Guide to Being 'Evil'
By Queen/Overlord Viscera

Welcome to the Citadel of Evil.

If you do not have your Identification card, please see Dr. Finger Print immediately.

The first thing you should be aware of as a new hire, is where the bathrooms are. Being Evil does not grant you permission to spread illness and disease through poor hygiene. Bathrooms are located towards the center of every floor of the Citadel. Washrooms and showers are located in your personal quarters.

If you do not have personal quarters assigned, please see Being Resources.

Additionally, you must be aware of your role within the Citadel, as well as your co-worker's. Security through familiarity. If you see somebeing behaving suspiciously, DO NOT investigate the matter personally. Discreetly allow the being to continue and sound a silent alarm that will be near your workstation or post. If any of your equipment malfunctions, please sound the silent alarm and inform your superior.

Informing your superiors of equipment malfunctions will not cause anything undesireable to occur to you. Efficient workings of this Citadel are rewarded. Concealing broken or malfunctioning equipment will result in disciplinary action taken by the Overlords themselves.

For this reason, should any of your personal equipment, including armor, weaponry, runic communications devices or tools, or any other issued gear ever malfunction, please inform Quartermaster Shipping Service. He will thank you for your honesty.

If you find that your equipment is of poor fit, cannot withstand a single attack, or leaves you perilously vulnerable, contact Forgemaster Metal Alloy. Our equipment is designed to carry you through a battle if injured. A wounded employee cannot enjoy their new life under the Wings of Evil if they are bedridden.

Likewise, all headgear and visors should not impair your visibility or hearing. Please contact Forgemaster Metal Alloy if it does.

Attention!
Physical training and marksmanship/spell practice is mandatory!
The forces of Evil cannot afford to become complacent. The Forces of Good will more than likely train their entire lives to fight us, and we cannot afford to slack.

If you are unable to hit a pony sized target at 10 canters, you will be transferred to a less motor skill intensive occupation.

Notes: Prisoners

Although it is unlikely, there remains the possibility of holding prisoners within the Citadel.
These steps must be followed to ensure the safety of all.

1. All prisoners will be guarded by a member of the same sex. This limits, but does not eliminate, the chance of a prisoner attempting to seduce the guard.

2. All guards will keep their keys secured in a safe. You will not keep the keys on your being. Prisoners have a habit of distracting a guard and freeing themselves when the opportunity presents itself.

3. All high profile prisoners will have the keys to their cell given to the Overlord(s).

4. If the prisoner appears to be free of their cell, do not open the cell to investigate. Sound the silent alarm amd report your suspicions. A false alarm is better than no alarm until its too late.

5. Do not flirt or interact with the Prisoner. They are not attracted to you. They are manipulating your emotions and they should feel ashamed of themselves for not seeing you as a being with emotions.

6. All cute/furry/adored animals, companions or side kicks will be secured in a seperate cell and rendered unable to move via rope, chains, straps and bindings. Do not underestimate the effects these beings have on the hero.

7. If a prisoner tells you to duck, duck. Do not attempt to call their bluff. At best, you look like a fool. At worst, you suffer traumatic injury and will be hospitalised.

8. If a prisoner is sick, call for a trauma team and backup. Do not open the cell door.

9. If an Overlord personally visits to release a prisoner, you must challenge them with that day's phrase password. Shapeshifters exist.

10. Report any and all unusual activity.

Heroes and You:

Heroes will attempt to convince you that you are doing somethinv wrong. I would remind you that 'Evil' is a matter of perception. Princess Luna was driven to madness by Princess Celestia for neglecting and ridiculing her younger sister. Ponies consider Celestia to be perfect and kind, yet she nearly caused the apocalypse.

Heroes will attempt to 'forgive you' for your 'evil' deeds, only to backstab you when opportune. Do not trust the heroes. They do not fight or work alongside you as your friends and co-workers do on a daily basis.

Heroes will try any number of social manipulations to get what they believe is right. They do not care about your feelings, hopes, dreams or aspirations. We have specialists for this exact purpose, and you will always find a sympathetic being to listen truthfully and sincerely to your concerns. A Hero will not care about your past, so long as 'listening' gets them what they want.

When their task is complete, the Hero will vanish without even a 'Thank you for freeing me' card. Even the Overlords send their mother a card. Can you say the same for the lands heroes?

The Overlords and You:

Do not bow, grovel, kneel or otherwise debase yourself. We are all beings here, and though we may be your employers, this does not give us the right to treat you as less than you are, that being the perfect representation of you. In addition, all positions will be earned by merit and ability, not family lines or connections.

Manipulating your way to the top, while 'evil', is detrimental to the organization as a whole. Do not commit evil deeds to your fellow workers.

If anybeing is reported or caught belittling or otherwise disrupting the lives of anybeing, you will be dealt with by the Overlords.

In Conclusion:

This completes the Evil Primer to the Citadel of Evil.

Please return your copy to the front desk.

Thank you,
Queen Viscera

'Well, that was the first one. What's this one?' thought Garotte, reading the next paper.

Rules of Engagement
By King/Overlord Aether

Despite what you may have heard or imagined, we are not here to murder or commit other atrocities. We are here to bring about better living for all, under the rule of the Overlords. We will not win public sympathy by tearing families apart, stealing their belongings or being criminals.

Our main goal, as the Forces of Evil, is to unite everybeing under our rule as the Overlords of All. Understandably, others will be frightened by this as they've only ever known of Celestia as ruler. However, despite her best efforts to rule, homeless ponies exist. Disabled and maimed ponies exist. The poor, the sick, the forgotten and the helpless all exist.

We have an obligation as the warriors, scientists and perfectionists of the world to better the planet we live on. To make this place a Utopia for all. To rid ourselves of the baggage of 'Class' and the desparity of wealth between our peoples.

Those of Minos, we have heard of your living conditions. Griffinstone, your poverty. Zebreca, the scarcity of security and food. The bison of the badlands, the ferocity of your homeland and those that ignore your ancestral soverignty. The changelings, and your persecution based off of nothing more than what you happened to be hatched as. Even ponies, all of different social standing simply due to the size of your bank account. I know that there are many other beings I did not mention, and your grievances and plight should not be compared to that of anybeing else. All of your concerns should be taken into account and solved quickly.

We cannot accomplish these grand feats if we lower ourselves to the same playing field as those ignorant enough to oppose us. That is why, for the sake of all, I have imposed rules to govern how you 'engage the enemy.'

1. Do not kill, cut, rend, tear or otherwise mutilate anybeing.

2. Any injury you inflict or seek to inflict, will be first inflicted upon yourself. You must know the pain and suffering you seek to inflict on others, so that you avoid doing so.

3. Do not steal, loot or otherwise take without permission. A simple coin could mean everything to somebeing.

4. Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER kill. If you do, nobeing will save you from the wrath of the Overlords.

5. Do not harm or injure those that do not attack you. Capture them.

6. Do not abuse or mistreat prisoners. We are trying to save them from themselves. It is not their fault that they don't know what future they fight against.

7. If you see anybeing in distress, help them. If they betray your trust afterwards, imprison them. They are confused, frightened and blinded by any number of ingrained mental conditionings to include nationalism, xenophobia and/or fear of the unknown. This can be cured; they simply need the opportunity.

8. Assist your fellow collegues. The Heroes will not save you. The Heroes only think of themselves and the few they care about. Some even only care for an idea and will ignore everything else in persuit of their ideals.

9. Save the young. Their lives are complicated enough, and they don't need to be scared of everything during an attack.

10. If you feel yourself losing control, take a moment to cool off. We must strive to be better than those that oppose us, and we must have a level head in order to do so.

It is the responsibility of everybeing to work towards a better, unified future where none are forgotten. Where children can be raised by loving parents that have no worries about their financial or social situation. Life is difficult enough without us all making it harder on ourselves.

Thank you for reading this mandatory material,
King/Overlord Aether

'Why do they call themselves evil? It sounds like they're trying to better the world...' Noted Garotte as she searched through yet another paper.

The Philosophy of 'Evil'
By Queen/Overlord Song

To everybeing reading this, I ask you a question.

Why is the sky red?

It's not? You say it is blue?

I don't see it that way.

From my perspective, it is red. There is nothing that you can tell me that will change how I see the sky.

You can yell, scream and jump around until you pass out, and the sky will still be red.

Why is that? How? I have no disability, no horrible thing happened to me.

I just simply see the world the way I want to.

What does this have to do with 'Evil'?

No matter how you explain it, no matter what method you choose or what platform you instruct from, everything you do is 'Evil' to somebeing.

Eating strawberries? Glutton!
Playfully tossing a foal and catching them? Foal abuse!
Associating with those of a different class? Scandalous!

The fact of the matter being that everybeing will always tell you that something you're doing is evil, is wrong, is a detriment to society.

All we ask, is that we give others the chance to experience our brand of 'Evil', and make the decision for themself if they wish to continue with their old life, or join us.

We are 'Evil', so that all who would declare us as such will speak the truth. No shock will overcome you, no guilt will stay your embrace to those who know no alternative.

For those who cannot see the sky in all its glorious red.

Thank you,
Queen/ Overlord Song

Author's Note:

A shorter chapter, explaining the Overlord's motives and the training that recruits receive when they join the Forces of 'Evil'.

Let me know if you want more inside views to the inner workings of Evil

Comments

[Kontaro]

I humbly request some moar.

[Queen Sanguine Dreams]

7359094

I'm glad that people still like this!

I was worried some earlier chapters scared everyone off, and people don't comment that much.

Would you mind my asking who your favorite characters are?

[Kontaro]

7359103 Not at all, and for my fav character, i'd haveta go with Aze, even if she isn't a proto-queen anymore :D She's so clueless sometimes it's hillarious!

[Queen Sanguine Dreams]

7359138

I've been considering having more stories with her, maybe one where she goes to earth (unchanged) and see how things go.

[Goldfur]

Evil is a matter of perspective - in this case a hilariously naive perspective that might just trump the entrenched view of Good.

[Schroedingers_Katze]

I agree wholeheartly. "Good" and "Evil" are merley ones point of view.

Also, it is quite funny how spot on the way is you decribe the "Heros" behavior for what it really is. They kill henchman left and right, blow up whole fortresses not carring for the people living in there, the families of henchman eventualy living there or just the people who are try to make a living there as indipendend merchants, barkeeps or whatnot (yes, I am looking at you Luke Skywalker!), they lie and cheat poor prison guards only to brutalize them with something heavy to the face.

Yepp, most Heros are the true assholes.

[Putainnn]

omg this is so cool!

[Snow]

This is fantastic. I love it. Way better than BASS AND WUBZ.

Though I do still hope there's an epic rock-battle at some point.

[TDR]

This has been quite entertaining. I still feel bad for spike and what's happened to him and I feel he might well join the evil organization simply due to that.

[Kryssi]

If any of your equipment malfunctions, please sound the silent alarm and inform your superior.

So if the silent alarms fail, then what do I do?

[Queen Sanguine Dreams]

7362514

Calmly inform your nearest available supervisor. If they are unavailable, send a co-worker team. If those are unavailable, the hero is probably headed towards you.

In that case, play dead.

They may think that you've already been dealt with and they simply forgot. Heroes are so violent that they may simply cheer the fact that they didn't have to put in any effort to deal with you, and steal items from you.

[Gulver]

Should assign doting parents to prison details. You know, the kind that show pictures of their kids to anyone they can find. They should also talk about how after the changes were enacted, their children can now go outside without any fear.

Then watch the heroes experience a major moral dilemma.

[Rhawkas]

Looks like somebeing might be familiar with Peter's Evil Overlord List. =P

[Razzy]

... And this Celestia created 'evil' that's better than 'good'.

[wildlander84]

Why is the sky red?
It's not? You say it is blue?
I don't see it that way.
From my perspective, it is red. There is nothing that you can tell me that will change how I see the sky.
You can yell, scream and jump around until you pass out, and the sky will still be red.
Why is that? How? I have no disability, no horrible thing happened to me.
I just simply see the world the way I want to.
.....................
I just simply see the world the way I want to.

Sounds like the yuppies wanting everyone to believe a man is a woman when all evidence points to him being a man, and vice versa.

[GentleFoxes]

I'm lovin' it!

[Black--Soul]

This is simply genius! If someone like you would lead our worlds nation our race finaly could actualy archiv something like space exploration!

[Black--Soul]

Let the world join you and we will be all better for it!

[MidnightFMare]

This right here is what justified evil is meant to be.