After being stood up on a date, for the umpteenth time, the last thing Rarity wanted was a night at the carnival. Not when there was a bottle of wine and a pint or two of ice cream at home that desperately needed her attention. But Spike had been so earnest, so eager to please her, to make her forget her worries. And she never could say no to her little Spikey-Wikey.
Not even when it would have been the right decision.
Rated T for innuendo.
(Cover art is not fully representative of content; while there will be crying and ice cream and running mascara involved in the story, there probably won't be a fainting couch.)
*As of the final chapter, there is a fainting couch
Chapters (5)
She better not do some regretful.
I'm a watching this, and await in eager anticipation of the chaos to come!
Great story so far. Well done, and I can't wait to read what's next. You've really captured their personalities well!
Rarity would be the type to drink only merlot. Shame upon her.
Now I want to try fried ice cream.
7355759 Right? Right?!
DAGNABBIT!!!!
Great story. I can't wait for more. A very well written tale so far and the interactions between characters are spot on. I thoroughly enjoyed Rarity giving that maître d a piece of her mind in the last chapter as well. Hopefully, Rarity and Spike can keep each other's spirits up.
I love Sparity, and it seems as though it might be leaning toward something resembling my favourite pairing, so I am hopeful.
7355759 Same here.
7368024 Have you temporarily crossed over from an alternate universe where I wrote that line in the story?
Because if you have, then shame on you for plagiarizing alternate-universe-me.
...
Huh. Well played.
This is great. Characters and events feel right. Though Rarity's inner monologue teeters on the edge of utterly heartbreaking rather than over the top at moments, and I get confused about whether this is supposed to be comedy or proper angst. But it works.
I'm keeping an eye on this.
Happy writing.
7397977 Black comedy! Or... purple comedy. Midnight blue comedy?
Gallows humor. We'll call it gallows humor.
Thank you so much!
7398009 Possibly gallows at the end. But most of it is purely "Oh woe is me" with more heart than humor. I still find it funny, but it is teetering on the edge, as I said. Not a problem and I usually love black comedy, but I think it's because her inner monologue isn't as farcical as the black comedy I'm used to.
But make no mistake, it is funny. Just in the "shouldn't laugh, I want her to get hugs and snuggles till she feels better, but
"
7398204 I think you might be on to something, yeah. Come the next chapter, I'll probably tag the story under "Sad" in addition to everything else. It certainly doesn't read like a straight-up laugh-fest.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/724/016/ee1.gif
Damn con artists getting the last laugh.
A little Detective Rarity action.
Fuck you Rick Berman!
Anyway, really enjoying this, looking forward to more!
Though this chapter is as well-written as the other and despite the fact that I expected the success to be yanked out from under them, I can't really like it. Because this narrative somehow allows the con artists to yank away a victory, despite their blatant, blatant, blatant lies and the animosity of the crowd. At least one of those should have been able to tip the balance, because Rarity and most of crowd know some of the smartest ponies ever and should be able to argue that the brothers are blatant liers. There might even be someone in the crowd who should be able to argue against it.
All in all, this narrative hands the win to the con artists, despite them honestly having not a limb to stand on. So, not really a fan. I knew it was going to be ruined, but the brothers just don't seem to have enough to actually claim the victory.
I hope I'll find the bad luck in the following chapters more natural. Because this one doesn't work for me. Everything around the con is still good, but the way it played out bugs me.
Happy writing.
7411518 One of the reasons this chapter took so long to finish (one of many, but the biggest one) is that I struggled to find a way for Flim and Flam to beat Rarity despite the general hostility of the crowd and Rarity's own strategic acumen. As I'm sure you noticed, Iiiii did not entirely succeed at that.
So this is a fault of which I am conscious. I have an idea for a follow-up focusing on Applejack and Apple Bloom's night at the carnival that would, in part, explore what happened to Flim and Flam after Rarity and Spike left (spoiler alert: it makes the ending to Cannibal Holocaust look like The Sound of Music), but that wouldn't exactly benefit this story in anything but hindsight.
All that said, I appreciate your pointing it out. Your reviews have been very thoughtful and careful to balance praise with critique, and'll take care to ensure that the next chapter works out a bit more naturally (as you said) rather than the universe simply contorting itself to make Spike sad.
By the way, I mentioned in my last reply to you that I'd add the "Sad" tag to the story. Turns out you can't have a story labeled both "Sad" and "Comedy". They're "conflicting categories".
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
7412020 Well, if I were to be so bold, I honestly think "Sad" seems to fit a bit better than "Comedy" does, at least at this point in time. The chapters presented seem to focus a bit more on the emotional turmoil of Rarity & Spike than they do with making light of the overall absurdity of the situation.
Depending on how the rest of the story plays out as you write it, you very well could turn it more toward the funny aspects of it later, but my personal opinion is that the story has a more depressing tone than a comedic one in the chapters that are posted to the site.
7423908 Pff, yeah... yeah, I think I wound up going against my intentions with this. I wanted to tell a darkly comedic story about a dragon baby and a mopey horse going to a carnival together, and it turned into
and 
.
Despite my best intentions, it turns out that the white horse is sad.
Let's see where things stand at the end. There are only two more chapters left, and while I don't think either will be as outright comedic as I wanted the story to be when I set out writing, I don't think it'll end on as bleak a note as these last few chapters are suggesting. At that point, I'll poll the crowd and depending on the feedback I might swap the tags out.
Be nice if I could have my
cakefried ice cream and eat it too, but life's not fair, is it?If there's just two chapters left, any ideas on when they'll be out?
--Curious Spade
7590760 I've been pecking at the next chapter here and there, but I've been distracted by my main project, as well as IRL concerns.
Believe me, I hate leaving this story hanging in the wind. I'll do my best to finish it up in a reasonable timeframe.
Meta?
7623508 Not intentionally. I just like referencing classical literature from time to time. It brings a certain element of refinement and finesse to my My Little Pony fan fiction.
7623538 Rarity is morbid enough without having to deal with her face starting a war.
I like dis. It's been far too long since I've read a nice good slice of life story. Though I kind of agree with the sentiment that, much like Eyeball, this story can't decide whether it wants to be a comedy or a drama. Unlike Eyeball, it's leaning much more heavily towards drama (at least Eyeball still had the absurdity of the titular character's presence throughout all the character drama). I kind of wish this story was able to be more consistently funny, but the comedy kind of peaked at that first scene of Rarity in the restaurant.
Not to say it still doesn't have its moments, and I do enjoy the inner turmoil of sad fashion horse, and am definitely invested in Spike and Rarity's quest for a Good Time (despite not being a Sparity fan
because pedophillia is bad). Looking forward to the next chapter!My my, the plot thickens. You walked a fine line on that one, having Spike do something reprehensible and yet still maintain reader sympathy. I think you managed to pull off both characters brilliantly.
I am utterly thrilled to see this story return, and look forward to more.
I don't see why you're apologizing. Own this romantic angst-fest!
Really, the fact that you managed to end this chapter on a bittersweet note rather than a straight up depressing and make it believable despite all that was revealed is real good. 👌
Yo! Not much of a drama kinda guy, but with characterization THAT good? The realism of this story truly makes it a rarity as far as Spairty goes.
8276053 derpicdn.net/img/2017/3/16/1388829/medium.gif
8275171 The apology isn't so much for the content of the chapter, as it is because the story's billed as a romance, and a Sparity romance at that. Except, well...
I don't like this story.
I love it.
8276087
Condemned to the dreaded zone...
I feel like Rarity is projecting with Spike, since the things she accused him of doing, she's done to him.
I'm so happy to see this concluded. I'm very fond of this story, and I thank you for coming back to it.
Well this was a pleasant surprise to see in my feed. Then I reread the previous chapter to remind myself exactly where we'd left off and realized "pleasant" may not technically be the right word. Still, this was a beautiful story. The ending was too hopeful to really classify it as tragedy, but the implication that the ending left us with isn't terribly cheerful either. I don't really know what else I can say about this story that I haven't already said, other than well done on so effectively conveying melancholy without going right into depression. That can be pretty hard to do.
I'm hoping that this story finally being finished is a sign that we'll at long last start to see more of you around here again. Your particular brand of horsewords is something I've missed around these parts. Of course, I understand if that isn't the case. Real life's a bitch like that.
good story thank you for finishing it, I still would of liked to see a happy ending for spike and rarity, you know being together lol but I liked what you did, nice read thank you
9699458 I know, I've been away for a while. But I'm back
to kick some butt at Pumpkin Hill.If she doesn't have an issue with Spike not telling her she was going to be stood up, then I just don't get why Rarity's upset. So what if showing up to comfort her might be remotely construed as a chance of her returning his feelings? She hasn't given him her heart before, and she doesn't have to him her heart now. He showed up when he knew there was a chance he could make a despondent Rarity feel better. He could never trap an unwitting Rarity in a relationship she didn't want, and in a relationship or out of a relationship he only ever treats Rarity with kindness. Excuse his little starstruck heart for hoping against hope that she'd return his affection, while he showed up to comfort her as he likely would've done for any friend regardless.
And as for the lies he told to make it seem like he happened upon her by chance, she's been lying to him about little things all night. So it's rather unfair if it's on the principle of telling the truth.
If Rarity isn't mad that he simply didn't tell her the date would fall through in the first place, feeling that no matter what Spike did she would've been hurt anyways, then her anger just doesn't make any sense to me.
Rarity's anger with Spike stems from him putting his desire to make her feel better over what she actually needed to feel better, which was the time and the space to process her hurt. I mean, she is upset about being lied to; that's just not what she's primarily upset by. It's what he used the lie to do. It's not that he was in the wrong for wanting to comfort her.
She's angry because she felt like Spike exploited her vulnerability to get what he wanted. And even though his motives were altruistic (he did genuinely want to make Rarity feel better, and was under no illusions that she'd fall into his arms), that trip to the carnival was ultimately about him, and not her.
I mean, yeah, she was lying to spare his feelings, but I think it's a mistake to equate their lies to one another. "I'm okay being here at the carnival" is not on the same order of magnitude as "I didn't know you would get stood up by your date, and I was just hanging out here by coincidence."
I refer you to my first response. Rarity needs to be shown that she still has friends who care for her, and being around Spike would serve as a good reminder that she's not only worthy of love, but actually loved. If he'd waited a few days and then invited her out to cheer her up, that would have been one thing. Instead, he struck right when the wound was at its freshest, urged her into a situation she wasn't really in the mood for, and didn't cut the most impressive or mature figure while they were there.
It comes down to a question of emotional maturity. Spike's mature enough to empathize with Rarity, but not mature enough to recognize what she really needed, which was time and space, not a grand gesture.
9700528
The fresher the wound, the more that it hurts. Showing up when it hurts the most means you have the opportunity to soothe more pain, and ensure that a loved one doesn't endure the worst of a hardship alone. Sometimes you actually need someone to drag you into something you're not in the mood for, too... especially if you're just going to go home and drink an unhealthy amount of alcohol, as was the case here. And as for him not cutting the most impressive or mature figure, everyone has flaws - he was still there for her when no one else was. And relationships aren't about being impressive, they're about being real and caring.
So ultimately, she's mad because she let him take her to the carnival despite her reservations, hoping she would have a good time. She was repeatedly dishonest with him, hiding her unhappiness whenever something went wrong, instead of just admitting she'd rather go home. She didn't even take advantage of the naturally arisen opportunity (once she got out of the washroom and Spike was gonna let her call it a night). And then when despite his very best efforts, he failed to finally wow her and show her a good time... she exploded when she found out that he had planned to come cheer her up after she was stood up.
Maybe I'm alone in this, but I still just don't get how she's logically justified in being mad.
9700684 First, let me say that I understand your criticism well enough to address it in the final chapter. I added an exchange where Rarity acknowledges that she lied for the sake of Spike's feelings, and that they both made similar mistakes during the night, being dishonest to protect one another from the truth. She apologizes for doing so. I was trying to hint at that subtly, anyway, but decided to make it more explicit.
Make no mistake, though, Rarity is still firmly in the right.
That Spike is genuine and caring toward Rarity isn't the issue. Going home and getting drunk to cope with heartbreak isn't a healthy strategy, no. But it's not for Spike to determine what Rarity needs in a moment of vulnerability, and Spike does not deserve to be rewarded for caring about Rarity when his feelings for her manifest in such a selfish way.
And, as my friend R5h pointed out (he gave me feedback on my revision), "Spike's complicit in the wound" by not telling Rarity she was going to be stood up. The whole situation could have been avoided if he'd just been honest from the start.
Instead, he opted for a grand gesture. And it backfired.
Like, if you stab a guy in a bar fight, and you stitch him up afterward, you don't get a free pass; you still stabbed that sum'gun.
1. Rarity never asked to be shown a good time.
2. Rarity does not owe Spike anything in this situation.
3. Spike knew she would be stood up and didn't tell her. You keep forgetting that detail. It's crucial to understanding why Rarity's angry, and it's why I was expecting people to empathize with her. It's not like he found out too late to do anything about it; he learned about it days in advance, and sat on that information all week.
9701246
No, it's up to her. And she agreed to go with him.
---
---
Yes, exactly. Before posting even my first criticism I knew that if that was the reason that Rarity is upset it would all make sense. But it's not: Right after he tells her about how he knew she was going to be stood up...
She's not upset he didn't tell her. She just as much said so. And she just explained that having overheard the stallions' conversation he was put in an awkward position, since if he told her about it she'd just have her heart broken sooner than later - her thoughts, not mine. Now, it seems she's upset that he came to comfort her directly afterwards as if it were an opportunity for him to win her. But then...
So she doesn't forgive him once he tells her that he wasn't trying to win her and he was just trying to cheer her up, which really seemed at this point to be the reason. She wasn't mad at him for not telling her, as was established earlier, and then when he fails to make the night a good one for her despite his best efforts, she gets mad at him.
No, she just agreed to let him take her.
No more than common courtesy, yes.
She had the opportunity to be justly mad at him for not telling her she was going to be stood up, but instead she mentions that regardless she would've gotten hurt and admitted that it was an awkward, lose-lose position for him to be in - so she as much as openly excused him for that. How is she in the right for being mad at him for anything else?
9701298
I think you have somewhat misunderstood: the point wasn't precisely that Rarity wasn't angry about Spike not telling her, but that the thing she was angriest about was Spike using that information to manipulate her into spending time with him. She is angry about two things (maybe more! Imagine). I agree that it could have been phrased somewhat more clearly, but her anger is still very justified.
Re-reading the previous chapter, it's apparent to me that the confusion stems from my own wording.
What I should have written was "You think that is the only issue here?" I didn't mean to say that Rarity was not angry about Spike withholding the truth. She outright says, a few paragraphs later, "you lied to me," in an accusatory way, so the dishonesty sticks in her craw badly. I meant to convey that that wasn't the primary reason she was upset. She wasn't merely mad that he kept the truth to himself; she was mad because of what he did with the truth. Rather than come clean or keep it to himself, he sat on it, waited until after she'd been stood up, and then capitalized on it, thinking that he knew how to cheer her up.
In short, in that moment, above all else, she's mad because she thinks that he played her. Even if she accepts that his motivations were altruistic, and that he wasn't trying to make her fall into his arms, it doesn't erase the fact that he lied to her, both directly and by omission. The entire night has been based on a falsehood.
I'll make that edit once I'm done responding to this comment.
If I'm interpreting your post correctly, the line that you're specifically pointing at is Rarity's initial response to Spike's explanation:
Which isn't intended to be a the explanation for why Rarity's angry. It's not supposed to be taken at face value. It's a sardonic retort. She's being sarcastic about their situation; she's not seriously saying "I'm angry at you because you didn't try hard enough to cheer me up," or "because your efforts at cheering me up failed."
You make a comment about Spike deserving common courtesy; I agree to an extent. But I also would argue that Rarity has shown that courtesy through the patience she's shown Spike throughout the story. He's been a bit of a prick; he was kind of selfish and ignored Rarity's wants and needs, not just at the start of the night, but several times afterward (particularly in the third chapter).
These aren't signs that he's a bad person, just that he's not on Rarity's level of emotional maturity. As mature as he is, Spike's still a kid, with a kid's understanding of interpersonal interactions and romance. He'll grow out of it. That's one of the things I wanted to say with this story.
I accept that part of this dialogue comes from how I wrote the previous chapter, unintentionally writing it as a binary (trinary) "I am mad for this reason, and no other" scenario. But there's also a fundamental question of how people are expected to behave in social situations that you and I seem to disagree on.
Namely, the scene you're responding to is the one in which Spike admits to Rarity that he lied to her. And even though she accepts his explanation by the end of it (yes, she believes he's being genuine, and yes, she's capable of forgiving him), the emotion that his confession dredges out of her is still very, very raw in that moment.
Rarity is not a person governed by her head over her heart on a good day, and this has been an exceedingly tough and traumatic evening for her. She isn't going to just flip and get over it after Spike destroys her emotional breakdown with facts and logic. She's going to say stuff that she doesn't entirely mean, stuff which doesn't necessarily reflect what's in her heart, and stuff she'll probably feel bad about later, which is how people who've been hurt can be expected to behave.
It just makes her a person.
Further complicating her emotions is the question of where Spike's emphasis is being placed: He's still more wrapped up in himself, and how he perceives the events of the night, than in Rarity and her emotional state. By the end of the scene, and the next chapter, too, that's really the primary sticking point for Rarity. Spike is throwing a pity party (as people, especially young people, are wont to), and she doesn't have any patience for it.
Yes, I am aware that Rarity is also prone to throwing pity parties, and that she intended to throw one for herself at the start of the story. She and Spike are supposed to be mirrors for one another, and she is supposed to learn something about self-pity from this story, and from interacting with Spike.
Even in that scene, she relaxes considerably before the end, and by the end of the story, she's basically over it. Not quite to the point of saying "I forgive you," (to me, forgiveness implies trust, and I think it's going to take a little time before she can bring herself to fully trust Spike again) but she's going to get there. They are going to be okay in the end.
(As an aside, there was a kernel of truth to Rarity's assumption about Spike. It's not merely that he wanted to cheer her up; he wanted to be the one to cheer her up. That's a key distinction. At their heart, his actions have a degree of self-interest. And I tried very, very hard to hint at that in the story through his actions without saying so directly)