• Member Since 7th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 28th, 2018



(Parody) Kate the college student loves ponies. But unwanted magnetism to her own gender has also made her a bit of a homophobe. Landing smack in the middle of Ponyville, she discovers (to her horror) that she is even more attractive to mares than she is to women. Her mission? Find actual friendship without being shipped. Whether or not she's successful... is entirely up in the air. A fun reversal and satirical poke at HiE tropes with heart to spare. As a small warning, while the story is not particularly explicit, there is quite a bit of innuendo which is played mostly for laughs.

Chapters (16)
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Comments ( 1975 )

I saw this and immidiately thought of how funny it's going to be! Can't wait!

Just please don't end with "and then she woke up and found it was all a...". Okay?

i asserere ad hoc fabula et annuntiabit primum

Great minds think alike.

A lesbian who doesn't like lesbians? My kinda lesbian. OPPOSE ALL THE LESBIAN LOVING MALES! :rainbowlaugh:

this is amazing,
great job with developing Kate's character

Im not usually one for HiE stories, especially the shipping ones.
But this looks to be pretty damn good, and amusing. Keep it up. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:


I must say, this is rather well written.

Is Twilight going to keep her safe or throw her to the ponies?
If Twilight decides to be merciful and save the poor soul, how curious will she be? Near dissection curiosity levels?

EDIT: Author's note, stop hiding from me...

hilarious and original concept. Will read.

Laughed audibly, making myself look like an idiot for giggling at plain text. I'll definitely be following this one :pinkiehappy:

Well, Well, this is a twist of the normal things. I think I'll check up on this some more later

unique? I ab-so-lu-tely agree, tracked and....


I laughed for about all of this, keep it up! :pinkiehappy:

Just joking. I hate lesbian sex :ajbemused:

Why does everyone like lesbian clopfics so much?

I can't wait to,see whath molestia will do

The scene going on behind me was a cross between the most intense bits of 28 days later and the hills have eyes. I had a flock, a literal flock of ponies fanning out and chasing me down the street, while the rest made other preparations.
i lol'd

"Note to self: Ponies like to chase things." :rainbowlaugh:

Yay! Sounds great, can't wait for more! :rainbowkiss:

I don't know why, but I imagined Kate's roomate to look like Joan Jett. I have no idea why.

I got back from dinner and could not believe the amount of positive responses. I wrote this purely for fun and was not expecting it to be so well received, so it was a great surprise. Thanks to everyone who liked/favorited/commented, I'll definitely be continuing this. On to the comment roundup

Oh I have plans alright :pinkiecrazy:

That's my second most hated storytelling device (The first being needlessly killing off a main character at the end), so I can promise whichever way this goes it will definitely not end like that

Shhh. She doesn't know she's a lesbian yet. Actually, I don't even know if she's a lesbian yet... or do I? :twilightsmile:

Thank you, I was a bit worried the intro (non-equestrian segment) was overly long so it's nice to have feedback.

Will continue to defy HiE cliches to keep things fresh. And who knows, she might escape shipping altogether (granted, the odds are not exactly in her favor though)

Well, I'd say Twi will try to keep her more base instincts under control... for a while :twilightblush:

Ideally, the next chapter will be up at some point tomorrow. :twilightsmile:

But it's so much more fun when things are consensual. Haha, seriously though, this probably won't venture into actual clop territory, though it might drift damn close. If I did ever have a moment of insanity and decide to write a clop-segment of this, it would be a one-shot, 'technically-separate-from-the-story-but-still-related' sort of thing.

While you might be waiting for a few chapters, I'm not opposed to the idea of eventually bringing her to ponyville for a visit. Actually, I rather like it.

That's been the most liberating thing about writing a first person HiE so far, being able use movie / pop culture references. Definitely more of that coming up.

Woah. We... might be psychically linked :pinkiegasp:

Nice story and what do ya know :pinkiehappy::rainbowdetermined2::ajsmug: and:raritystarry: are perverts oh also Fluttershy

Murphy's Law is having fun :rainbowlaugh:

>the element of loyalty be precise
You accidentally a word
>28 days later and the hills have eyes
Also, proper nouns should be capitalized

Fun with physics: Terminal velocity is about 120mph for a human body. So assuming the constant G and air resistance are roughly the same in Equestria as on Earth, "roughly 5 minutes" of falling means she's 10 miles up when she got that answer. That's above the troposphere and somewhere in the middle of the stratosphere. It would be really, REALLY cold.

I'm finding a lot to like here. Your snarky protagonist is a blast, and everything about the setup is wrong in such a wonderfully right kind of way. Despite the note you put on the end, I didn't think this was morbid at all. I'm going to be tracking this one for sure.

Oh, and if the story ends "and then Kate woke up from her delusion, hit the ground, and died" then I will hunt you down so I can smack you upside the head.

This was hilarious! I love the premise and the comedic delivery was great. I'll be looking forward to seeing more of this gem. :pinkiesmile:

Ahhh, a good old refreshing spin on an overused plot line. Must read.

Wasn't sure what to make of this at first :unsuresweetie:

Growing on me, though :raritywink:

Blame it on a sneeze, brilliant, I love it.

Twilight was fine......UNTIL YOU WENT NERD MODE!!!!

I'm liking this story. HiE fics usually have the same, boring human characters, even the supposedly good ones. Having such a different character here, and one with an uncommon problem (at least its uncommon from what I've seen), is much more interesting.

:rainbowhuh: i dont know what to think?

:pinkiesmile: but i know this is kick ass !:pinkiehappy:

Enjoyable. Although I would stab someone to be in her position currently.

Feature box :pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!1:pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy::derpytongue2:

"Can’t abandon a ‘friend’/mouth jumper in need if she makes good pancakes, right?" OMC, it's like you read my mind! I mean, I WOULD agree, but I can make some kick-ass pancakes myself, so... XD But I DO understand your reasoning! Carry on! :3 (Yeah, I'm a guy that can cook. Get over it. XD *Is going on the assumption that since you say 'I' in the fic, you are indeed a Pegasister/female Brony, If this is wrong, then I apologize! XD*)

"Et tu, Dash?" (Should be Dashie, IMO, if only to better match the syllable number of the quote. XD)

"I lied. You’re totally not adorable, give me my platonic kiss back.
… Er. Actually, come to think of it, never mind."
I mean, I'll admit I've been roflmao for most of the fic, but that... Killed me. :( Forced me to use up the Reraise I had cast on myself...

Overall, LOVED ALL of the 'Note to self's', but there's some minor work needed, mostly for punctuation missing or not used right. It's not HORRIBLE, but there's enough periods missing at the end of sentences here and there to be noticeable. I'd be willing to run through it really quick to fix it, but you'd have to have Gdocs to fix it easily, I think... Oh well. TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! DEFONZI! ... I mean, ~ALLONS-Y!~

And for this AMAZING fic, I is a messenger bearing gifts!

... Oops. Uhh... Lemme find you another? :twilightblush:

this is so grat. :twilightsmile:

more ... we need more.

o hi treg:trollestia:788545

This seems to be entertaining.
What is it with all the ponies trying to get in the human's pants. They're crazy I tell you!

Twilight just had a nergasm :rainbowlaugh:

Oh boy this can only get funnier once the princess get in on the act too :derpytongue2:

Haha. This is pretty good so far. I don't normally like HiE stories, and the only reason I decided to try this one was because my favorite television character's name is Kate. :rainbowwild: Glad I decided to read it. :pinkiehappy:

Did Twilight just horngasm? And that fast?
She must've reallllly been turned on by Kate...

...Wow. :rainbowlaugh:

There truly is bliss in obliviousness, feigned or not.


Tracking this for the hilarity.

Everypony knows you never go full nerdmode

Somewhere on Earth two people dislike this story.:ajbemused:

i will love and Tolerate Them :flutterrage:

... I predict pain and misery incoming.
What's next? Transformation magick?

Okay, messenger bearing gifts take two!


... DAMMIT!!!
(Eagerly awaiting the next chapter! Thanks for the fic!)

I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one sitting here like " Lez ponies? Surely he's not talking about... " * Reads Description * XD

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