Rainbow Mocks Part 3
“I still think we should have dressed up better,” said Thunder.
“Why bother? Who needs to look good when you’re ruler of the world?” asked Stormy. “Now let’s use the Equestrian magic that’s below us to welcome them to the show!”
The three started levitating as they began their song.
“Welcome to the show
We’re here to let you know
Our time is now
Your time is running out”
“They totally ripped off our song,” said Adagio.
“Our song? I came up with that song!” said Aria.
“Wait, you guys came up with this specific song just in case you would be in a position to sing it to take over the world?” asked Sunset in confusion.
“It’s not like there was that much else to do,” said Aria.
“Well, I guess our only hope is my brother came up with some plan to deal with them,” said Twilight.
Everyone suddenly stopped talking and stared at Twilight. “Say what now?” asked Sunset.
“Oh, well, he’s fairly high ranked in the police force, so I told him everything I knew about what was going on and asked him to try to provide some kind of backup plan.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this?!” asked Sunset.
“Because I was worried that if you got brainwashed you’d give it up,” said Twilight. “I mean, I made sure to not know what he was up to just in case that happened to me.”
“What in the world could he do to stop them?” demanded Aria. “Have some kind of crazy band-mobile that would allow another group to play music to beat them? Because that just sounds stupid.”
“Now you need us
Come and heed us
Nothing can stop–”
The music abruptly ended and the Shadowbolts found themselves unceremoniously dropped to to the ground. “That’s a sprain,” muttered Thunder. “What just happened?”
“The pendants…” said Stormy. “They got destroyed somehow. Look at the floor.”
Thunder looked down and saw the pendants in fragments. “What now?”
“Run away!” shouted Maelstrom.
“Wait, did you just–” started Stormy.
“RUN AWAY! TO THE PORTAL!”
The sheer shock of hearing Maelstrom actually say something caused the other two Shadowbolts to obey him without further question and run off the stage. There was an awkward pause and Chrysalis came onto the stage.
“Uh, well, that was… interesting?” she said. “Maybe it was supposed to be a postmodern ending. Well, at any rate, next up is Trixie’s band! At least once the equipment gets reconfigured.”
“It’s called Trixie and the Illusions,” hissed Trixie as she and her band came onto the stage.
“Right, Trixie’s band!” said Chrysalis. “Because as it says, the other performers are just illusions! They’re not really there. So, enjoy this performance of a band that for the most part is nonexistent.”
“Hey! I do exist!” said one of Trixie’s band members.
“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” said Chrysalis.
“Did something happen up there?” asked Twilight. “It sounded like the song abruptly ended.”
Just then, the door opened. “What is going on here?” asked the person on the other side crossly.
“Oh, thank you!” said Sunset as she rushed over. “We got stuck here, and… then…” She suddenly turned pale as she recognized who this was the human version of.
“You know what?” said Tirek. “I don’t think I want to know. I want you lot to get out of here now.”
“No arguments here!” said Adagio as she and the other Dazzlings ran out, followed by Twilight, who grabbed Sunset.
“What the heck is Tirek doing here?” asked Sunset.
“You know him?” asked Twilight.
“He was the guy I had to deal with just before I came here! What is he in this universe?”
“From my understanding, some kind of crime boss,” said Twilight. “He’s probably here to engage in some sort of illegal exchange with someone. But that’s not really important right now! We’ve got to find out what happened!”
Back under the stage…
Tirek looked all around. Okay, he thought to himself, there seems to be no one around. Good. I don’t want anyone to see me doing this. He pulled out his cell phone. Let’s see if that tip about this being a place to find Porygons is accurate.
The Shadowbolts continued their run, only to suddenly run into three other individuals, causing them all to fall down in a disorganized fashion and knocking Stormy unconscious. “Huh?” asked Thunder as he looked over and saw himself.
“Ha!” said the other Thunder. “I told you there were imposters of ourselves running around!” He looked over and saw that Stormy had been knocked out by the crash. “Uh… well, I guess I can tell you later.”
“I don’t have time for this,” muttered the other Thunder as he grabbed the other Stormy and ran off with Maelstrom.
“After them!” said the other other Thunder. “I want to know what’s going on here! Let’s–”
“Freeze!” came a voice as the three suddenly found themselves interrupted by being surrounded by a number of different people in uniforms pointing guns at them.
“Well, this day took a turn for the worse,” said Thunder.
“Hrm,” said Maelstrom.
Over on the stage…
“Are these… fragments of the pendants?” asked Adagio as she looked at them.
“How did they break?” wondered Aria. “Is that what stopped them from singing?”
“This means we can’t enact our plan, right?” asked Sonata.
“Yes, Sonata, of course it means–” started Adagio grouchily.
“Hey!” said Trixie as she approached them. “I’m going next. You want to go, you should’ve just showed up to begin with! I don’t even know why I let you guys stay on the stage for this long, but you should get going now.”
Off the stage…
Various police officers, including Shining Armor, stood around guarding Thunder, Stormy, and Maelstrom, who were all in handcuffs. Twilight and Sunset ran up to them. “What happened?” asked Twilight.
“We just stopped their plan,” said Shining Armor. “We got their pendants destroyed and that was pretty much the end of it.”
“How?” asked Twilight.
An excited-looking human version of Gilda came up to them clutching several large sniper rifles. “Didja see my triple snipe?!” she asked excitedly. “Three pendants hit perfectly!”
“Yes,” said Shining Armor, “very impressive. You’re definitely going to get a great bonus for that.”
“Three pendants hit at once! Ken Satori only wishes he was that good!” said Gilda.
“Who?” asked Shining Armor.
“Um… uh… forget I said that,” said Gilda quickly. “I don’t even read that series. It’s for dweebs.”
“What series?”
“Exactly!” declared Gilda.
“Wait, how do you even pull off a triple snipe?” asked Twilight.
“Practice, practice, practice,” said Gilda.
“Anyway,” said Shining Armor, “we set up everything to take them down while protecting ourselves from their music with some headphones and earplugs. You were right about the pendants, by the way. I’m glad that stopped their plan, because having to actually shoot them would’ve been a PR nightmare.”
“What are we even being charged with?” demanded Thunder.
“A lot of counts of both attempted and successful mind control,” said Shining Armor.
“What law actually prohibits that?”
“That’s a good question!” announced a human Lightning Dust who suddenly showed up. “As any mind control would inherently involve tampering with someone’s neurons, one could easily make the claim that it’s a form of assault. And we made sure to get a lot of video evidence proving this, and I’m sure there will be plenty of witness testimony, so don’t think we don’t have proof. That’s why we delayed intervening until now, in order to gather it.”
“Oh yeah,” muttered Sunset, “being obsessed about legal matters did used to be her thing.”
“But just to be sure,” said Shining Armor, “a little while ago I had some friends in the government slip a note about it counting as a crime into a bill about water supply.”
“Look, I’ve had enough of this!” said Thunder. “I didn’t try to brainwash or hypnotize anyone. That was just an imposter of some sort! I’m innocent!”
The previously unconscious Stormy finally got up. “Any idea why the mind control failed?” she asked woozily.
Thunder facepalmed.
“Well,” said Shining Armor, “we’ve been after you three for long enough that it’s rather nice to finally be able to arrest you. Also, someone be sure to stop by and arrest that Suri girl for all those cases of fraud.”
The nearby Dazzlings stared in disbelief at the situation. Finally Sonata spoke. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing we weren’t able to go through with our plan. We dodged a pretty literal bullet there, eh? Eh?”
“Oh, just shut up, Sonata,” said Aria.
“Well, this is… not good,” said Adagio. “While on the bright side this means no one else will be able to enact our plan, it also means that with our savings starting to run out, we’ll all have to find some kind of jobs to pay the rent.”
“Oh, that’ll be no problem!” said Sonata. “I just got offered a job as an investment banker. It’s got a 6-figure salary.”
Adagio and Aria stared at Sonata as if she had suddenly turned into an alien. “Sonata, how did you even qualify for that?” asked Aria.
“With the college degree I got,” said Sonata matter of factly. “Online courses are pretty useful for those. Also, being highly knowledgeable about the field.”
“Oh, wait, I get it,” said Adagio. “You’re just screwing with us, aren’t you?”
“Nope!” said Sonata. “Or at least not in the way you think I am. See, I’m actually a genius, and I’ve just been pretending to be stupid this whole time. For realsies.”
Aria and Adagio stared blankly at Sonata for a while, then continued staring, then stared some more. Finally Adagio spoke. “Why?”
Sonata quickly took out a cell phone and snapped a picture of Aria and Adagio. “Mostly to see the look that’s on your faces right now.”
Is this the real life? thought Aria bleakly to herself. Or is this just fantasy?
Meanwhile…
“Hrm,” said Chrysalis, “I suddenly have a feeling of insignificance, as if someone else just pulled off something I could never hope to match. Ah well. It’s probably just gas. Still, I’m so happy about how everything worked out. We got to see a ton of ukuleles used, the school made money, and the world didn’t get taken over, just as I predicted. Isn’t that right, Luna?” She paused. “Luna?” Another pause. “Oh, right, she got all angry, so she’s not here right now. I’m sure she’ll be back to her usual beleaguered self due to this whole thing getting wrapped up.”
“Okay,” said Luna as she coincidentally approached Chrysalis at this time, “we just got the polls done. Apparently your approval rating dropped down a bit.”
“Well, I’m sure that going down to something like 94% isn’t a big deal,” said Chrysalis.
“Actually,” said Luna as she looked over a clipboard, “you’re down to 88%.”
“What?!” asked Chrysalis.
“Well, 87.96477%, to be exact,” added Luna.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” screamed Chrysalis before passing out from lack of oxygen.
Luna looked down at the passed-out Chrysalis. “You know, maybe I will stick with this job after all.”
Also meanwhile…
“So this whole caper seems to be wrapped up?” Sunset asked Twilight as they stood next to the statue. “I can finally get those games and leave this universe? And hopefully not have to ever see, hear, or mention ukuleles ever again.”
“You said ‘ever’ twice,” said Twilight. “But, sure, I’ll transfer them over right now. Though while I don’t mind the fact you helped in order to get them, I do wonder why you didn’t just ask someone else or go online yourself to find them.”
“Wait, I can do that?” asked Sunset. “Darn it, I didn’t know enough about how this technology worked. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble.”
The two stood there for a little while as the programs transferred over.
“Going back, then?” asked Twilight.
“You know, now that I think about it, maybe it might be a good idea to stick around here. You seem to have to deal with potentially world-ending crises slightly less often than my home universe, and–”
“Did anybody say ‘cider shortage’?” asked a human Flim excitedly as he and an equally human Flam suddenly ran up, inadvertently knocking into Sunset and causing her to tumble through the portal.
“Um… no,” said Twilight. “Nobody said anything like that.”
“I think we really need to go back to the drawing board,” said Flam with a frown. “This super hearing device is still malfunctioning.” The two left.
“Might as well go get Sunset,” muttered Twilight as she tried to walk through the portal, only to walk straight into rock instead. “Wait, why is it closed?”
On the other side of the portal…
“Why isn’t this thing working?” asked Sunset as she pressed on the mirror.
“Hey, Sunset!” said Trixie as she entered the room. “I finally was able to find the instructions manual for the mirror! Turns out it was in the refrigerator!”
“How does that eve… never mind. Where is it now?” asked Sunset.
“What, I don’t get my $50/hour plus expenses?”
“Trixie, not only do I doubt you need the money, that’s still not the unit of currency we use!”
“Fine,” grumbled Trixie as she pulled out a book. “Here you go.”
Sunset took a quick glance through the book. “Okay. ‘The portal naturally recharges magical energy as time goes on, but the amount of energy expanded in opening the portal, keeping it open, and transferring beings from one universe to another is very high. Therefore, the 30-moon interval and 3-day length of opening has been set as the default to optimize this so that when it opens it will be able to stay open for that period and transfer a high number of beings before shutting down to fully recharge. These settings can be adjusted or the portal opened manually (see page 64 for instructions), but be warned that overuse will cause it to automatically shut itself down until it is able to recover the required energy to be used again.’ Well, I guess it’s going to be out of commission for a while.”
Suri entered the room. “Oh, Sunset? I figured you should know those Shadowbolt guys you were asking about came rushing through the portal soon before you did.”
“Wait, what?”
“Oh yeah,” said Suri, “I can remember it like it was yesterday… which is odd, as it was today. The female one was unconscious so the others woke her up but then it turned out they got the wrong one or something. I was a little confused on that point, but then one of them said that it wasn’t a bad thing as they thought the normal female one was too bossy and then they all left.”
“And you didn’t do anything to stop them?”
“Hey, if you wanted a guard, you should have asked Gilda. She’s the one with all the artillery. What did you want me to do, knit them into submission?”
“Well, at least I got what I wanted through this whole thing,” said Sunset. “Might as well call Twilight and tell her what’s going on. Uh… wait, what was her number again?”
“I still can’t believe that after all those crimes we pulled, the thing we actually get busted for is something we didn’t actually do,” grumbled the human Thunder as the three sat in the back of the police car.
“I can’t believe that my compatriots got me mixed up with the Stormy from this universe and left me behind,” said Stormy.
“Hrmmmmmmmmm,” said Maelstrom, prompting eye twitches from both Thunder and Stormy.
Back in our ‘regular’ universe…
“Well,” said Sunset, “I guess it’s back to forgetting this thing ever happened, much like we did after the first adventure in that universe.”
“Sounds like a plan!” said Trixie. “And just to make sure everything gets nicely wrapped up, I should mention that Flim and Flam managed to reconcile their differences in a way that was either extraordinarily heartwarming or extraordinarily comical; I forgot which.”
Gilda came in. “Oh, Sunset? Chrysalis is here and she wants to talk to all of us.”
“As if I haven’t dealt with her enough… ugh,” said Sunset. “Fine. Let’s go.”
After grabbing the other members of the group, they all went to the entrance hall of the castle to find Chrysalis with a very large box.
“Hi, everypony!” said Chrysalis cheerfully.
“Hello, Chrysalis,” said Sunset, Suri, Gilda, Flim, Flam, Lightning Dust, and Trixie unenthusiastically.
“Oh, come on, show some enthusiasm! For all you know I’m here to give you some kind of gift or something rather than a task to complete!”
“You say that, but then you never give us a gift,” said Lightning Dust.
“This time is different!” declared Chrysalis as she gestured towards the box. “I realized that, considering you did play a critical role in saving the whole world, simply not having to pay taxes on this castle seemed like a rather lame reward.”
“That is one of the most reasonable things I’ve ever heard you say,” muttered Sunset under her breath.
“And so,” continued Chrysalis, “you get another reward in this box! You might be wondering how I got this through the door when it’s much bigger than the door is, but that will remain an unsolved mystery of the universe.”
“So what is this gift?” asked Flam.
“Something amazing!” said Chrysalis as she opened the box, revealing a slightly smaller box inside it. “Another box!”
“Joy,” said Sunset.
“But it’s what’s inside the other box that’s even better! It’s the greatest gift one could possibly give!” Chrysalis opened the second box, causing a huge amount of ukuleles to fall on top of the group. “A lifetime supply of ukuleles.”
After climbing out of the pile, the group stared at Chrysalis blankly.
“You know, it’s acts of kindness like this that allow me to maintain my 94.2477797% approval rating,” said Chrysalis. “And yes, you’re right! That is an increase from the 94.2477796% it was at a few days ago! Apparently, not needlessly putting the world in order to hold a battle of the bands caused my popularity to go up ever so slightly, which is odd because I was never in a position to do that to begin with. Anyway, have fun with the ukuleles!” Chrysalis left as the group continued silently staring at her.
Sunset finally broke the silence. “I guess we could sell the ukuleles. That way, we’ll get something out of it.”
“Just be sure not to try to pass them off as another instrument,” said Suri. “That can get you in a lot of legal trouble. Believe me, I speak from experience. Nearly got nailed for that once.”
“You tried to pass off ukuleles as another instrument?” asked Flam.
“No, it was actually clothes in that case. But at least I learned from it, or else I might have gotten in some real trouble if I had kept it up.”
Just then, the phone rang. Sunset answered it. “Sorry for not calling earlier,” said Twilight, “as my phone was on the fritz for a little bit there. However, the portal doesn’t seem to be working now. Do you know what’s going on there?”
“Apparently it ran out of power and it’ll take a while to get it back,” said Sunset.
“Oh,” said Twilight. “Darn it. I was hoping to take the opportunity to head there again. I like it here, but it’d still be nice to visit my original universe. At least everything seems to have worked out all right. The plans of both the Dazzlings and Shadowbolts got foiled and neither seem to be able to cause any more havoc.”
“What happened to them, anyway?”
“Well, the Shadowbolts got arrested. I don’t know where Sonata wandered off to, but right now Aria and Adagio seem to just be staring blankly for some reason. Not sure what was up with that. But everyone’s getting along now, and I made up with my friends. Oh, and Trixie ended up winning the whole competition. That song of hers is rather catchy.”
“Oh, okay.”
“By the way,” said Twilight, “as nice as it’d be to talk to some of the people I know on that side of the portal, we should probably limit communications. I just got to see the bill and it turns out that calling across universes is really expensive.”
Sunset hung up the phone. “Well, I guess that’s that.”
“All’s well that ends well, right?” said Lightning Dust. “Except for the several things that didn’t end well, but none of them affected me, so I’m surprisingly fine with that.”
“Well, while we wait to try to find somepony to buy these ukuleles, I want to try some of these games out,” said Sunset as she started using the cell phone. “Huh,” she said a short time later. “Some of these aren’t working for some reason. Do any of you happen to know what ‘DRM’ stands for?”
Some time later, in another universe…
“And seriously, just look at the thread used in this! Even for a cheap outfit like this, this is inexcusable!”
“Suri,” Stormy said, calling down to the bunk below her, “you’ve done nothing but complain about the uniforms since we got here. Could you give it a rest?”
“Not when there’s so many things wrong with it! I mean, you can’t tell me these prison uniforms aren’t horribly ugly! Even the color’s boring. Orange? It’s so predictable! Let me tell you, orange is not the new black! And speaking of the color…”
Stormy stared up at the ceiling of their cell and sighed. “This is going to be a long ten years.”
“Ha!” said Suri. “Joke’s on you! I only got sentenced to three!”
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I liked it. Laughed a lot, got to see that human Gilda is just as terrifying as the regular version.
Also, more Chryssie is always good.
That Sonata bit.
I have a lot to say... but first, I'd like to ask: What the hell just happened?
I'm not joking by the way. I'm actually really confused.
7592201
In the third chapter? Well, I'm not sure exactly what you're confused by, so I'll try to give a summary of the whole thing...
The Shadowbolts started to enact the same plan as the Dazzlings in the original film. However, due to Twilight tipping off her brother about them as well as where their strength probably came from, he had Gilda work as a sniper to shoot down the pendants to stop the plan (the "triple snipe"). The plan foiled, the Shadowbolts ran off and ran into themselves (the ones from the human world who showed up to try to figure out what was going on because they heard there were other versions of themselves going around). Both of the Stormies got knocked out, so Thunder grabbed one and ran back through the portal with Maelstrom to escape. The Shadowbolts that were actually from the human world then were the ones that got caught by the police and arrested for the whole plot (which they didn't technically do, but there's no moral quandaries here because it turned out they had committed a lot of other crimes they just hadn't been caught for). However, Thunder grabbed the wrong Stormy, thus making the one that went back into Equestria be the one from this universe, and the one that got caught be the one from Equestria.
The Dazzlings discover the destruction of the pendants and realize they can't pull off their plan anymore, but then Sonata gives her reveal. Sunset finally got the cell phone games from Twilight, but then accidentally gets knocked through the portal. Neither one can enter it afterwards, though, because it turns out the portal has a limited amount of power, so keeping it open for longer than its default setting as well as having so many go through it caused it to deactivate, preventing anyone from traveling between universes until it recharges. Then Chrysalis shows up with her "gift" to the group. The last scene is Stormy and human Suri in prison (Suri got arrested for fraud, as mentioned earlier) and them giving nearly the same dialogue as Suri and Trixie shared at the end of "Apple Stuck Season."
7742568
Yeah, I actually knew the usage of chloroform as shown on TV is hardly realistic. But this is a comedy and it was efficient enough plot wise that I went with it.
Glad you enjoyed the story!
7742778 I know. I just like being belligerent sometimes.