Troubled New Home: What's Old Is New Again

by SolvableSphinx

Chapter 3

“So, next up is the catering,” Spike said, looking through the checklist. “Say, Twilight, why didn’t you make this checklist sooner?”

“It slipped my mind,” Twilight replied as she lead the duo down the unpaved road. “Trust me Spike, checklists end up being more trouble then they’re worth for me.”

“That’s…”

“Creepy and happy, Spike,” Twilight said quickly. “You wouldn’t want me to be creepy and unhappy, would you?”

“It’s because that militia pony kicked your flank, isn’t it?” Spike asked, to which Twilight gave nothing but a disapproving groan.

The farm was just as large as it was when Twilight first walked up to it. Rows upon rows of apple trees were spread out as far as the eye could see, providing Ponyville with one of its few major exports. Soon enough she would meet the proprietor of the farm, be stuffed with apple products, and then find that the rest of the pieces necessary to fulfill the ancient prophecy would be in place, save for her ‘making some friends’.

“Joy,” Twilight thought to herself.

“YEE HAW!” An all too happy voice exclaimed, before well trained instinct took over and Twilight ducked to the ground. A gust of wind and a rainbow-blue blue just barely missed Twilight’s head, instead dashing through orchard sweeping every apple in its path. Looking up, her hair being blown by a powder blue tornado with rainbow streaks. The tornado guided itself towards a very large bucket, before slowing down gradually, letting the apples fall into it gently.

The pony responsible for it landed on the ground, giving a slight bow.

“Rainbow… Dash?” Twilight asked, completely confused. She was expecting an apple… not Rainbow Dash wearing a cowboy hat and seeming all too pleased with herself.

“Th’ genuine article, if I do say so m’self. Rainbow “Zap Apple” Dash, at your service,” the pegasus replied.
“I’m sorry, but… what?” Twilight asked, the full brunt of her cynicism beginning to come to the fore. “Seriously, what?! I was coming here expecting Applejack and the Apple family reunion, not… not this! Why the hay are you wearing her hat?!”

“Is this ‘cause I’m a pegasus?!” Rainbow Dash asked, suddenly getting in Twilight’s face. The pegasus began to aggressive advance, causing Twilight to back up step by step as the other mare kept moving forward. “Just ‘cause I have these here fancy wings doesn’t mean I can’t apple buck an’ drink an’ wrassle wit’ any good ol’ Earth Pony. Granted, I found a much more awesome way to buck than just hittin’ trees... ‘cause I’m awesome… but that there is still tribalist BS! I’m as Apple as any Apple born, if not more!”

“Umm… miss…” Spike began, continuing to follow the two. Twilight had managed to let herself get backed up to the gate of Sweet Apple Acres, looking around somewhat nervously as Rainbow Dash had her wings outstretched in full pegasus aggression.

“Now, unless ya’ got any real business, you’d be very wise to stay off’a my land,” she said, ending the sentence with a stomp.

“Umm… miss… we kinda’ do,” Spike said, earning a glare from Rainbow Dash. He gave a ‘come here’ motion with his fingers, and the pegasus began turned around and walked with him a little distance back into the farm. The two gave Twilight a glance, to which she gave an all too innocent and obviously fake smile. The two began to lean in and whisper to each other.

“Twilight’s been out of sorts lately. We’re here to check on the catering for the Summer Sun Festival,” Spike said.

“So that’s why she’s talkin’ ‘bout AJ?” Spike nodded as though he know who AJ was, to which Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Typical city folk. Actin’ as though everything’s gotta happen right now. Why couldn’t she say that up front?”

“Well, I’m not sure how much of it is being a city mare… and how much of it is being OCD. Or CDO. She gets very strange about that sort of thing,” Spike said.

“Science type?” Rainbow Dash asked, curious.

“Arcane, actually. And kinda weird. She’s been getting a lot weirder though. Almost crazy… well, crazier than normal. She’s never been all there, but…”

“Are ya’ sure you should be sayin’ that ‘bout kin?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s evesdropping with her magic right now,” Spike said. The two gave a look back, just in time for the glow to fade from the unicorn’s horn. Twilight practically squeaked with feigned ignorance, her smile was sofake.

“Okay, so she’s takin’ us talkin’ behind her back well. What’s she to the Princess, anywho?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Only the Princess’s most faithful student.” Spike said, with obvious pride in his voice.

Rainbow Dash then plastered on a fake smile. “Well, why didn’t ya say so? Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres.”

Twilight gave her a skeptical look. “Really? Just like that?”

“Oh yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, nodding her head vigorously. “I was just right unneighborly, an’ that ain’t at all justified. This is just me tryin’ to be a good neighbor and all, and has absolutely nothing to do with th’ fact that you work for the mare who could shut m’ family down with a single stroke of the pin.”

Twilight continued to give Dash a suspicious look, before noticing how the mare’s eyes were shifting and her mouth was screwed up tight. Twilight then gave a serene smile.

“You know what, Rainbow Dash? You’re right. We should be neighborly,” Twilight said, mischief entering into her voice. “Especially since Princess Celestia is like a second mom to me. Heck, she spends more time with me than my real mom! So why don’t go and see about how the apples are coming for the Summer Sun Festival. Which is the festival of Celestia, my second mom, who will be attending personally.”

“Ah… well… o’course! O’course! Right this way, ma’am!” Rainbow Dash said, before leading the way to the farm.

“That was evil,” Spike said, looking up at Twilight.

“At this point, I’m pretty darn close to not caring,” Twilight replied, before she began to follow Rainbow Dash. The purple unicorn spoke up, directing her talking at the pegasus. “We won’t be here very long,” Twilight assured Rainbow Dash. “Where’s Applejack?”

“In the house over yonder,” Rainbow Dash replied. “It’s a little bit of a walk, but I’m sure ya’ll can take it.”

“Is there anything cool and neat to see?” Spike asked.

“Well, there’s an apple tree. An’ over there’s an apple tree too. An’ over there’s another apple tree. An’ over there’s Jenny, she’s the one most of this grove’s descended from,” Rainbow Dash continued, even as Twilight and Spike noticed a strange looking apple tree that seemed to have a pony’s face carved into it, watching them with its wooden eyes.

“Umm… are these magic?” Twilight asked.

“Only th’ named ones,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Fair warnin’, they don’t like being prayed to. Talkin’ to ‘em’s fine, if the mood strikes ya’.”

“Ooo… kaaay…” Twilight drawled out. “So… ‘Zap Apple’.”

“What’s a zap apple?” Spike asked.

“Only th’ most awesome apple. Which is why I’m called ‘Zap Apple’ by th’ rest o’ the Apple clan. ‘Cause I’m th’ most awesome pegasus there is,” Rainbow Dash said, with obvious pride.

“And where is the rest of the Apple Family?” Twilight asked.

“Well, some of ‘em’s out negotiatin’ with th’ Buffalo ‘bout startin’ up a new town,” Rainbow Dash said. “Most of ‘em just won’t have anything t’ do with Sweet Apple Acres, though.”

Twilight was puzzled by that response. “Why?”

“Do you know what all happened to AJ?” Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight shook her head, at which point the pegasus went into full story mode.

“Well, when she was little an’ all, she ran away to ‘the big city’. She went an’ got all caught up in the hustle an’ bustle an’ fancy book learnin’ when she was little, then the speak easies an’ easy stallions when she got all teenage years. The fact that she was with those Oranges and their seducin’ ways didn’t help none,” Rainbow Dash explained.

“… easy stallions?” Twilight asked. She caught all of it, but that part seemed to jump out at her.

“Yeah, them skihs ya’ see at those jazz shows. Anyway, one day she sobered up an’ decided to go back home to the homestead. She ain’t worth much when it comes t’ buckin’, but boy she’s got a head for advertisin’ and lawyerin’. Ooh, an’ cider! Girl knows how t’ make all sorts of good ciders,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Okay… I still don’t see how that ends with no family reunion,” Twilight said.

“It’s ‘cause th’ Apples an’ th’ Oranges can’t put ol’ grudges aside,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’d say it’s cause everyone in the clan thinks that AJ is one of them big city flappers and won’t have anything t’ do with her, but that’d be lyin’. It’s cause they think she’s an Orange. Heck, I got to know her aunt an’ uncle, an’ they’re decent sort. But nopny can let sleepin’ dogs lye, ya’ know?”

“I guess,” Twilight said with a shrug. As they approached the house, Rainbow Dash seemed to panic.

“Ah no. The kid’s are wanderin’ towards the Everfree again,” Rainbow Dash said, with a hint of panic in her voice. “AJ’s in th’ house, takin’ care o’ books I’m sure. I gotta go!” The pegasus lauched herself, flying towards the forest at full speed. “Applebloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo! Ya’ll three g’t back here this instant or a’ swear I’ll tell ya’ll’s folks that you’re goin’ int’ the wild!”

Twilight and Spike looked at each other, giving each other a shrug as they walked onto the porch of the house. Granny Smith was rocking in a chair, lightly sleeping, until Twilight’s hoof hit the floor.

“Oh…uh… wa’?” Granny Smith asked.

“Um… hello,” Twilight said.

“Oh. Are ya’ll friends of little Zappy? I raised her m’self, ya’ know, after m’ son an’ his wife died,” Granny Smith said.

Twilight and Spike paused at the revalation, before Twilight gave Granny Smith a friendly smile. “Sorry, no. We’re here for the Summer Sun Festival.”

“Oh! Ya’ll are th’ caterin’ folks. AJ’s inside. Girl’s makin’ good too, ya’ know. M’ daughter’s done me proud with that one,” Granny Smith said. She seemed to daze off a bit, before looking at Twilight again. “Oh, don’t let m’ go an’ bother ya’ ‘bout all that. G’t inside and help yourself t’ some cookies and lemonade.”

“Do you need anything?” Spike asked.

“Mmm… some water, maybe,” Granny Smith said.

“Thank you ma’am,” Twilight said, before pushing the door open and walking inside. “Come on Spike.”

“Actually, I think I’ll help this lady out, if you don’t mind,” Spike said, before Twilight smiled.

“I knew I raised a good young dragon,” Twilight replied, causing Spike to blush. “I’ll get you when I’m done then.”
~ ~ ~
Twilight knew when somebody was obsessing over something. She knew obsession, suffered from it, and on occasion used the obsessions of others to gain… optimal results. So she was surprised when she saw Applejack hunched over books, obsessing over numbers, muttering about things like ‘stock’ and ‘buyers’. The differences were apparent in that mane hair was cut in a bob, almost colt like. She also seemed to like clothing, wearing a light green dress, pink collar shirt and green jacket, all with apple embroidery. It was cut differently then any clothing that Twilight had seen, although it seemed to fit each other fairly well for a look that was somehow casual despite pony attitudes towards clothes.

Of course, Twilight had worked on her curtosy. So she knocked on the door, rather than barging in. Everything had been so different that she might as well play it safe, after all.

Applejack was startled by the knocking, before turning around and smiling. “Ah, I’m sorry about that. I got a bit distracted. I’m Applejack. What can I do for you?” It was unusual to hear her speaking with a Manehatten accent, although her grammar was almost too correct.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m here on behalf of Princess Celestia,” Twilight said.

“Ah… applesauce…” Applejack said, looking back and forth a little bit as though to see if anyone else was in the room. She then leaned forward, almost whispering. “This isn’t because of the bootleg cider, is it?”

Twilight was quiet for a moment. “No, it isn’t.”

“… and this isn’t because you got all spifflicated by bootleg cider?”

“Why would that be a big deal?” Twilight asked, confused.

“Why WOULD it be a big deal,” Applejack replied with a grin. “Well, since we’re on the up and up, what’s the word?”

“I’m just here to check on the catering,” Twilight said. “It’s a big party, after all, and a good opportunity for business to come Sweet Apple’s way.”

“Oh, I know,” Applejack said with a grin. “The other Apples don’t see, but I’m going to bring this outfit into the new century! “

“Great, now just let me see your books and…”

“And now we’re going into problems,” Applejack said, quickly blocking Twilight Sparkle from going forward. Twilight looked up, which Applejack blocked with her own. Twilight did the same from the side, with the same results. She moved to the other side, and began to notice the pattern.

“You’re not entirely honest, are you?” Twilight asked.

“Listen gams, there’s a lot of action going on in Ponyville. And your Big Cheese is my Big Cheese, and she has business that she can’t have all those Mrs. Grundies in the Senate nosing into. So unless you’re going to neck me, I’d appreciate it if you’d get off my case.”

The gears began turning in Twilight’s head, before she smiled. “Oh! Oh, okay. I understand completely. Books appear to be completely in order.”

“Now you’re on the trolley!” Applejack said with a broad grin.

“But you know… I might need a little bit of catering too,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“… what sort of catering?” Applejack asked with a slight frown.

“I’ve developed a bit of a sweet tooth,” Twilight said with a grin, before opening her saddle bag and pulling out her coin purse with her telekinesis. She then pulled out several of the larger coins, floating them in front of the buisnessmare. “I’d like some of that Sweet Apple Cider. The bubbly kind.”

Applejack hmmed for a moment. “I don’t know. Seems like you’d like something else.”

“I’ll also need pure alcohol for sterilizing instruments, as much as you can make. I’m a scientist, after all, and I need to stay properly supplied. I would rather buy local than from some faceless distrubtor in Canterlot, support my local buisnessmares….”

“You’re a Darb, you know that,” Applejack replied. “Put the coins on the books, and we have a deal. Assuming it ain’t a double cross, of course.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that,” Twilight replied. “I have my vices. Speaking of which, how are you supplying the food? It’s not like the entire Apple clan is here.”

Applejack chuckled. “Trade secre… ah, who am I kidding? There’s a mare in town by the name of Dianne. Kinda off, but a real sweetie pie if you get to know her. She may not be an Unicorn, but her food is just magical.”

“I’ll have to give it a try,” Twilight said.

“That you should. Now, I’d hate to do this to you, but we can’t be beating our gums all day like a couple of stallions,” Applejack said.

“Of course. Have a good day,” Twilight said, before walking away from the room.

“You too! And tell Granny Smith I’ll be down in a few minutes,” Applejack replied, before turning to her books. “Now… I should probably move my stock since the new mare’s had a chance to scope out the farm…”

~ ~ ~

“An’ that’s how Equestria was made!” Granny Smith finished, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Wow!” Spike replied, clearly amazed. “I didn’t realize it involved so many ponies.”

“Oh yes. One pony, one being, isn’t enough to do such a momentous thing. You need friends, is what I’s saying! Hehehe. In all m’ time as Princess Celestia’s Earth pony student, that was one lesson that I truly took to heart,” Granny Smith said, before rocking back and forth on her chair.

“How did you become Princess Celestia’s student?” Spike asked.

“Oh, that’s ‘nother story for ‘nother day,” Granny Smith replied.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“’cause your sister’s here, sonny!” Granny Smith exclaimed with a grin, before looking over to Twilight. Sure enough, she had just finished walking down the stairs, giving Granny Smith a smile.

“Thank you very much for watching after Spike, Granny Smith,” Twilight said to the seemingly older mare.

“Oh, it’s no problem. No problem at all,” Granny Smith replied. “He’s a sweet young boy, you know.”

“I know. Applejack says she'll be down her in a few minutes, by the way,” Twilight said.

“Oh, she should stop putting her head in those books and come down here now. Always muttering about this or that, like somepony’s got a bounty on her. But the Princess took care of that, she did,” Granny Smith said. “But look at me ramble. Where’re you heading off to?”

“Ranger Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “Would you happen to know where she lives?”

“Oh, over yonder,” Granny Smith said, using a cane to point to the edge of the Everfree. “You’ll know where she lives when you find it. Such a sweet young mare. A little bit crazy, though. She doesn’t belong in the sanitarium, to be sure, but being so close to that old wound in the world can’t be healthy for ya’.”

Twilight was quiet at the words, taking them in, before nodding. “I suppose so. I’ll have to see for myself, though. Come along, Spike.”

Twilight and Spike began walking away, leaving Granny Smith to sake her head.

“May the gods help that poor old mare. She really doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into,” the older Earth pony said, smiling to herself. “Well, time to put on the soup…”

Comments

[schpeelah]

So, Granny Smith huh? Interesting idea.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Huh. Well, that's an interesting change. Twilight seems to be adapting fairly well, though by the time she gets to Pinkie...

Well, it's Pinkie. Even if she's almost reminiscent of Rorschach. In any case, looking forward to more.

[zel]

"Princess Celestia’s Earth pony student" oh God my sides

[Nikas]

"Always muttering about this or that, like somepony’s got a bounty on her. But the Princess took care of that, she did,” Granny Smith said

No pony puts the squeeze on the Royal supply of Hard Cider?

And Granny is very insightful, almost a pony Yoda.

Applejack done up as Bonnie Elizabeth Parker? Had to doublecheck some of the 20s slang. Sikh isn't showing up though.

[SolvableSphinx]

Princess Celestia remembered when a lack of liquor, beer and wine was a public health crisis because it was the only way ponies in the area knew how to decontaminate their water. So do the Royals/alicorns who do not have a set life span.

Applejack's partially based off of the generic flapper. The fact that someone as smalltime as Bonnie Parker just happened to be a twenty something in a time when twenty somethings dressed like that is no surprised. I've seen the Death Car in the Texas Prison Museum, and trust me when I say something like that isn't going to happen to AJ/OJ.

Sikh (or however you spell that Indian ethnicity) was slang for a metro-sexual/feminine young man who hung out at jazz clubs and the like. In the era were men were expected to be a manly farmer/factory worker/miners/Teddy Roosevelt, they were naturally not well looked upon by people who were not a part of the counter culture of the day.

[Jirodyne]

Old comment, for an old chapter, but surprised no one commented and pointed out the biggest hint in the story. The last Line:

“May the gods help that poor old mare. She really doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into,” the older Earth pony said

Granny Smith knows that Twilight is older than she looks.

[ferret]

her smile was sofake.