• Published 20th Jun 2012
  • 3,627 Views, 95 Comments

N7 - Operation: HARMONIZER - Useless Machine



Six N7 marines find themselves in Equestria post Battle for Earth. Hilarity(?) ensues.

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Omake: Absolute Territory

Author's Note:

Behold, the first omake this piece of shit has!
This was the second-to-last iteration of the chapter. I felt it was pretty damn funny, but after being told that Mart's fear was overreacting I decided to scale it down a bit. I still felt it was worth comedic merit, though - which is why I uploaded it as an omake.
This isn't canon to the regular story. Just enjoy it as is.
Will there be any more omakes? I don't have a damn clue.

Fluttershy had heard the yelling as the fight continued on, and it jolted her out of the state of horror she experienced as, one-by-one, her friends were beaten into the ground by the manticore. She slowly began to back away and head towards the castle. She couldn't make out who was yelling or why, but she hoped they could help.

Of course, however, those thoughts were quickly drowned out as she turned back and saw Applejack get pimp slapped twenty feet. The farmpony looked entirely out of it; and just as quickly as fear filled her heart at the sight, it quickly began to molt into something else. Something far more primal. Something that would have scared her if it hadn’t already caught her up in itself.

Pure, unending rage.

She stared down the manticore as it closed in on the hapless Applejack. It was three times her size and adorned with claws, teeth, and a terrifying roar. It thought that it could hurt her friends. It thought it could kill them. It thought that it could poison Rainbow Dash and get away with it..

It thought so horribly, horribly wrong.

HEY!” screamed Fluttershy, and the shout caught the manticore’s attention. It lowered its paw and stared at its new foe. It had multiple broken bones and bruises, but even in its weakened state it turned to regard its foe. Its eyes held hunger, but they quickly widened when they realized exactly what Fluttershy’s held.

“YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALTZ ON IN BEHIND US AND EAT US FOR A SNACK?” Fluttershy began marching towards the manticore, WELL, YOU’RE WRONG! PONIES ARE NOT SNACKS! MY FRIENDS ARE NOT SNACKS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! YOU’RE A BIG! FAT! MEANIE!!” The manticore seemed to reel back from each verbal stab as though they were physical impacts.

“You know what you need to do?” asked Fluttershy.

The manticore held baited breath, hoping that this demon would leave it alone, hoping against all hope that it wouldn’t be consumed alive.

Fluttershy, in the meanwhile, Stared down the manticore. “YOU NEED TO PICK UP RAINBOW DASH, AND BRING ME AND HER TO ZECORA! THEN YOU’RE GOING TO COME BACK HERE AND HELP ME WITH MY FRIENDS! AND THEN YOU’RE GOING TO RUN AWAY, AND NEVER BOTHER US AGAIN! AM! I! CLEAR!

The manticore screeched in pure fear. Faster than it had ever tried to run during combat it bolted over to Rainbow Dash, and carefully picked her up with its scorpion tail. Laying it on her back, it sailed over the ravine and sprinted off.

Fluttershy, in the meanwhile, slowly calmed down, taking in and letting out deep breaths. What were those voices, though? Her head turned back up towards the castle.


Martilus had been on a hundred battlefields and killed a thousand enemies. He’d done it all, from picking off a geth from one thousand metres to killing a Banshee with an omni-blade, mere milliseconds away from being impaled and neuro-shocked to death by the former asari husk. There was nothing that could faze him – in fact, even Husks were known to run in fear.

Yet as he sat there, clutching his Revenant as though it was the sole lifeline in a stormy sea, he felt true fear for the first time in his life. The yellow one – the one that had retreated from combat – the one that was now looking towards where he was hiding – had just shouted down a massive beast that had felled five of its countrymen, and had ordered it to – in perfect Galactic Standard – to take her friend away for healing, assist with treatment of the others, and then to leave.

He looked over to Hitman, and almost had a heart attack then and there – the geth was shaking in fear on the spot, quietly rattling as it had folded up into as small of a ball as it could to remain hidden. It had scared a geth.

“Hit… Hitman?” asked Martilus. “Are…. Are you s-scared?”

“NO DATA AVAILABLE!” shrieked the geth. “NO DATA AVAILABLE! AUTO-SAVING!”

Oh, by the spirits, the geth thinks it’s going to die. The geth thinks it’s going to die. What hope do I have? Hitman opened his radio. “Aleph One, this is Aleph Six, requesting immediate fall-back!”

The line was quiet for a full five seconds. Everything else happened too quickly for him to process – the fear and adrenaline making him act on autopilot.

Hitman continued shrieking, and on further reflection Martilus would forever swear he heard terror in the geth’s voice. “ARCHIVAL UPLOAD COMMENCING! NO CARRIER! NO CARRIER! NO CARRIER! NO CARRIER!” It continued repeating, and Martilus realized that if he didn’t find a way to shut Hitman up, he’d be found.

Not caring about staying hidden any further, Martilus bolted forwards as Sam finally responded with minor trepidation infecting his voice as well. “Uh… Aleph Six? Everything okay up there? You sound like you’ve seen a ghost.” Martilus collided with Hitman. “Hitman!” he said, hoping against hope the geth would hear over its desperate cries that there was no carrier for its upload.

It was futile. He heard it – it was so quiet that he could barely hear it over Hitman’s screams – but he heard it nonetheless. A simple request with the voice he feared.

“Um... is this the wrong time?”

He slowly turned around, to find the yellow one was standing there, looking at them with innocence that belied its true nature.

“…NO CARRIER! NO-“ Hitman’s eye turned off, and for the second time in 24 hours (or, at least, what he thought was 24 hours) the geth clanked to the floor. Martilus screamed in a pitch he didn’t know he possessed and cowered in the corner.

As the yellow thing approached to take his soul to the place where all bad turians went, he didn’t hear Sam. “Holy shit! Alephs, to the surface, double-time! I’ve lost all contact with Aleph Four and Aleph Six is screaming! Weapons free, engage all targets!”

The yellow one closed in, and quirked an eyebrow, like it didn’t know why Martilus was screaming. Something in him told him that maybe if he begged, he would survive.


“PLEASE! DON’T KILL ME! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, DO ANYTHING, PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!”

Fluttershy wasn’t entirely sure how to react to that.

As she headed towards where the voices had come from, she had heard a harsh scream – “NO DATA AVAILABLE! NO DATA AVAILABLE! AUTO-SAVING! COMMENCING ARCHIVAL UPLOAD! NO CARRIER! NO CARRIER!” The scream continued on, and Fluttershy headed up, concerned for what trouble these newcomers had found themselves in.

She found two aliens – one on top of the other – and cleared her throat to get their attention. “Um… excuse me?” They both turned to face her, as slowly as an opening door. Their reaction was probably the most peculiar thing she had ever seen – well, besides them.

The first alien’s blue light went out and it dropped – the poor thing had fainted. The other backed into a wall, put both of its hands up, and began screaming incoherently. Fluttershy began heading up in an attempt to soothe it, unsure as to what had caused this bout of insanity.

And then it had begged to be spared. Fluttershy connected the dots. It had heard her Stare down the manticore – the act had involved a lot of shouting, too. The poor alien thought that Fluttershy was an apex predator. The other one must have fainted in fright. Despite having “known” them for a sum total of twenty seconds she felt bad over having caused them this much distress, and figured she should calm them down and let them know she wasn’t going to hurt them. She was the last pony to hurt anypony, really.


“Oh! I’m… I’m sorry, I just… that big, scary manticore was beating up all of my friends, and it had poisoned Rainbow Dash – oh, but you probably don’t know her – and I just… I just got really mad and I shouted at it and made it help out, and I’m so sorry for scaring you. I just didn’t want my friends to get hurt.”

Martilus could not react. The adrenaline rush and horror began wearing off as he realized that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t actually the Spirits themselves come to punish him for every wrong deed he’d committed. Maybe it was just a stupid yellow alien that the animals feared. Whatever the cause, it didn’t want him dead.

“You… you don’t want to kill me?” Better at least make sure.

Kill you?” The yellow thing gasped, like Martilus had just suggested it do very naughty things to something against its will. “Oh, gosh! Why would I ever want to do that? I’d never want to kill anypony, least of all you!” Its voice positively dripped with sugar, concern, and what seemed like distilled kindness. Martilus wasn’t sure if it was trying to lure him into complacency, but it was either die today at the hands of a yellow thing or die three days later when he ran out of food and starved to death.

Compared to that last option, being slaughtered now was a mercy.

“…It’s uh…” Martilus found himself very flustered. He was suddenly very grateful that he was wearing his helmet. “…it’s fine. Just let me, uh…” He quietly keyed in to the squad comnet.

“This is Aleph Six, uh…”

“Mart! Thank God!” responded Sam. “Are you alright! Do you have things under control! We’re there in thirty seconds!”

“Yeah, yeah, the situation is entirely under control,” responded Mart. He didn’t sound professional, but he didn’t care. “Uh… there’s no need to kill anything. Long story short, the local aliens have found us, and… look, I’ll explain when you get here, alright! Just promise you’ll come out without weapons drawn.”

“Can’t do that, Mart. Hitman’s down and you were screaming for a good thirty seconds,” came the response. “The only thing I can assure you is that we’ll exercise trigger discipline and only fire when fired upon. If the situation’s under control, then we’ll help get it more under control. Get ready, we’re almost there.”

“Who are you talking to?” asked the yellow thing, and Martilus turned back.

“I’ll explain in, oh, ten seconds. Just promise me that you won’t do anything rash or lash out or try to kill any of my friends when they appear.”

The yellow thing seemed to be almost hurt at Martilus’s assumption that it was going to hurt him. “I’ve already told you, I’m not going to-“

The castle glass shattered as one ton of angry krogan hurled through it, shotgun at the ready. Barx let out a guttural roar as he checked for targets, Dari directly behind him with twin Plasma SMGs drawn. Near the castle entrance Yelena and Sam exited – Sam covering one corner and Yelena covering the next, the two of them converging on Martilus.

The yellow thing had stepped back. It had apparently grown some backbone since the fight, as it was not cowering in the corner, but staring back at Barx. The krogan studied the alien, before turning to Martilus. “Really? This is what you had a panic attack over? It barely looks like it could harm a fly.”

Sam stepped forwards. Even with his helmet on Mart could tell that he was done. “Martilus. Explain. Now.

“Well, uh… you see…” began Martilus, but before he could finish something cleared its throat next to them, sending a wave of wind through the yellow thing’s pink hair.

It was the manticore.

Aleph Squad stared at the thing, absolutely stupefied.

The yellow thing turned to it, its visage hardening.

“She, uh… she shouted it down, sir,” finished Martilus.

Really?” asked Dari, as though she didn’t at all believe what the quarian saw as a feeble excuse, but before she could try to push further, the yellow thing had turned to them. “Yes, yes I did. It’s done bad, and it’s going to apologize when it’s finished helping us.”

Barx was the first to speak after a long, awkward twenty second silence. “Uh… Mart, mind if I take back what I said?”

“You know what? Fuck it.” This came from Sam – their very leader. “I have had enough for one day. Do whatever you feel is necessary. If any of you shoot any of the locals I swear to God I will beat you to death with your own severed limbs, but I am done for today. I’m not going to take this bullshit. I am gone." Sam marched off, down the castle’s steps, and over towards the Kodiak.


Fluttershy watched as the latest alien – seemingly their leader, judging by the excessively violent way he spoke – decided he was going to take a nice and long break from reality. Her attention turned back towards the manticore, who merely lowered an unpoisoned Rainbow Dash down, its tail coiled around her, and gently placed her on the ground.

“Good. Now, if you’d kindly take me back to my home so that I can get my first aid kit and treat my friends, that’d be great. I know where the way is. And you had better not show up there, mister. I don’t need to say what’ll happen if you do decide to show up in the middle of the night… do I?

The manticore nodded, and extended a wing. Fluttershy turned to face the rest of the aliens. “If you could, um… if you could gather up all of my friends and gently lay them where you are right now, next to Rainbow Dash, I would certainly appreciate the help. But – but it’s up to you! None of you have to do it if you don’t want to!” With that last message, Fluttershy stepped up onto the manticore, grabbed on, and rode off.


Barx, Yelena, and Dari stared at each other, none of them entirely sure what had just happened, and thinking that this had just been some strange sort of fever dream. The only sound to break the silence was that of Martilus standing up.

“If you’ll all, uh… excuse me, I think I’m going to do what she says, because I am truly scared of what happens if I don’t follow her orders.” More like a machine than the machine, Martilus stood up and headed off into the field to begin retrieving the yellow alien’s friends.

Yelena looked down at the blue alien lying on the ground, a neat bandage on its rear end, towards the colorful bodies strewn about the field they had landed in, and towards Martilus, who had neared a white one with purple hair and had gingerly began handling her.

“Could someone please explain what in tarnation is goin’ on?” came a brand new voice. The three of them turned to stare at an orange alien wearing a hat. “’Cause I couldn’t figure out a lick of what just happened over all the screamin’.”