• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Penmore


"If you only write when you're inspired you'll be a fairly decent poet, but you'll never be a novelist."


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Sunset returns to Equestria for the first time in a long time to visit Twilight in her castle. She comes semi-unannounced in order to surprise the Princess of Friendship only to encounter a unicorn she's never met before in her life.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

yea the whole "Starlight and Sunset bond over being reformed villains" is an easy plot thread but this take was nice.

@Garen Vastare...

Overall, I give this a positive-sided "Not Bad."

One friendly point-out, they do use "girls" (and "boys", for that matter) in Equestria. Twilight Sparkle herself often refers to her fellow Elements as "girls" quite often, and long before having travelled to the EqG-verse. As have the rest of the MLP cast.

As for "person", I am not 100% sure, but am more than 50+% certain they have used that term as well.

7313863
Thank you for the positive review and the critique. I'll look into changing some things as I realized that the show does have Twilight use -girls- very often. As for the word -person-, I somehow have doubts that they have actually used it.

7313923

Well, going into semantics/specifics, they definitely have used "people" in Equestria [Rainbow Dash: Ugh! C'mon people!]. Whether they have used "person" specifically, that I am not 100% sure about; but it stands to reason that if they used the former (people), then the latter (person) would apply.

It is a minor issue, of course; but also always best to be aware and accurate too. :twistnerd:

This was definitely a fun and cute story.

One grammatical correction:

"Oh? Have lived here long?"

Missing a "you" between "have" and "lived"

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