• Member Since 18th Aug, 2011
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Dubs Rewatcher


Fandom veteran, journalist, sixteen-time EqD published author. I hope you have a lovely day! Come visit my official website at www.williamantonelli.com

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It’s been twenty long years since the Dazzlings were banished to Earth, snatched away from their homes, their powers, and their real bodies. Every waking moment is plagued by hunger and weakness. In short: Aria Blaze hates her life.

But on the night of the Fall Formal, Aria finds herself overtaken by a strange, burning sensation that jolts through her limbs and lives in her knuckles. A strange, alien voice keeps talking to her. And soon after, she becomes obsessed with punching things—humans, ponies, even sirens—in the throat. To her, anything with a throat is now a target.

She is Aria Blaze: Throat Puncher.

A retelling of Rainbow Rocks in which Aria Blaze is a throat-punching psychopath.


Inspired by a conversation with Cerulean Voice and Majin Syeekoh.
Thanks to Pascoite, Cerulean Voice, AugieDog, FDA_Approved, Craine, Imaginary Valued, Light Striker, and Syntavant for editing. You guys rock so friggin' hard.
Coverart by Zorbitas!

Updated every Monday.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 119 )
Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

And again I get blamed for the weirdest shit.

What is with humans and punching?

7519332
Hey, at least you only got second billing this time.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

7519344 It's okay.

I'm used to it by now.

7519332 ...was this your fault? It's been in the works for, like, a year and a half, and I can't even remember what started it.

Majin Syeekoh
Moderator

7519351 It was some conversation that devolved into Aria Blaze punching throats.

Note the use of 'devolved'.

7519351
The way it started: while writing Sonata Goes Goth, we got into a discussion about all the weird spikes and things that all the sirens wear. Someone—either Majin or CV—came up with "Aria Blaze, Throat Puncher," and I vowed to write it.

IT'S ABOUT TIME

I'm glad this is finally out. I've heard so much about it. :derpyderp2:

I can definitely see Aria punching throats. Not faces or abdomens, though.

I'm guessing this ends with either someone punching Aria, or her looking in a mirror and being overwhelmed with her urge on herself. That would certainly explain the Dark tag.

7519358 ACK!!! MY THROAT!!!

Careful, young throat puncher. You must master the fist, lest the fist master y—

AKGH!

Ow... Sheesh, see if I ever talk to you agai—

ARGL!

Ouchies...

Yeah. Good story so far. Looking forward to more.

Interesting first chapter.

I really liked Aria's first punch. It just came across as so...natural. Almost as if she was born for this role.

I regret nothing

Great cover art too

Not to be mistaken with ashling the neck stabber

Please tell me aria will go bald by the end of this.

AT LAST

THE LEGEND BEGINS

kul
kul #20 · Aug 29th, 2016 · · · WITH ·

Villainous Ending? or maybe more exact, it was Aria Ending? Holy smokes, I never knew I need this thing in my life! Rule the world with an Iron fist, Aria BLAZE!!

7520428

I understood that reference.

What is best in life? To drive crackfic ideas before you into serious stories, and hear the lamentations of your readers.

This is a lot more amusing than it has any right to be.

Alondro #24 · Aug 29th, 2016 · · 1 · THE ·

And then Aria meets her match...

Face punching >> Throat punching

Flawless victory! :trollestia:

I get the distinct feeling that I'm going to enjoy this.

I have to wonder if the Sonata throat punch is going to come back to bite the Sirens during their first big musical number. And, of course, they look about a hundred times more suspicious to Sunset now. Heck, she may have just reported them to Luna. Assuming, of course, Aria doesn't begin her insurrection in a few moments.

Whatever the case, we have clearly passed a massive divergence point. I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before Best Dazzling punched Best Human in the throat.

This is great, Dubs. I look forward to the rest of it.

Omg, poor Sonata. :applecry:

Hell, poor everybody if this escalates any further.

should i keep a coutn of how often Aria punches someone in the-

Aria punched the ball of fire in the throat. It exploded into a whirlwind of hot dust, leaving her completely unscathed.

-okay nevermind! Aria Blaze is now a Teramach, and yes, im enjoying this a lot.

welp, Aria is approaching a murderfrenzy as i want to call it. just feels good to punch SOMETHING. hah, this is way to enjoyable for me. I may end up coming up with something out reading this...

Please make more!

7525394
Don't worry! We've still got quite a few chapters to go. :twilightsmile:

And so the legend of the one punch siren was born

This will end a brawl

Well that was interesting. For once, I'd love to see somebody smack down Aria. Hoping this doesn't end well for her.

7541777 I don't really see how it can. I know this isn't to be taken seriously but throat punching isn't the best plan most times and Aria seems to be possessed by something to do it near constantly. Being leader certainly isn't gonna help that either.

7541935 Hey, you never know. With their magic, Aria could probably get away with all kinds of unnecessary violence, and it would be really difficult for the Rainbooms to sing if they had all been punched in the throat. Granted, blunt trauma isn't really a clear path to their ultimate goal, but they could at least make it out unscathed.

But in all seriousness, you're probably right. Historically, the large majority of compulsive throat-punchers showed distressing tendencies to crash and burn within a short timespan.

woot! 2 more throat punches!

im REALLy liking this Aria. that rage boiling over is still gettin quite the result. more please!

kul

VICTORIOUS DAZZLINGS BLAZINGS FTW

AJ Blocked the blow? They're learning... Better punch that knowledge out of them!

Here is what I predict will happen. Aria gets her magic back. Then she does this:

Applejack has already presented the key weakness of Aria's strategy: It's predictable. Sure, no one sees that first throat punch coming, but the ones after it? And if she can share that information? This will not end well... though I'm still not sure who's going to suffer the most. Especially if Twilight still tries to use her "hold hands and shout the subtitle of the show at them" plan.

e520 #42 · Sep 7th, 2016 · · · ARIA ·

This is amazingly dark for a crack story

Couldn't quite get behind Aria bulldozing over Adagio, but this was really funny.

Adagio hadn’t yet told them what the plan was—she always liked to save it until the last second, probably for the same reason she loved posing so much: drama. Sirens were nothing if not performers.

I really liked this line, it was quite eye-opening. Because they do act all dramatic even when only the three of them are around, it makes sense that it's in their blood.

She's possessed

7558789 she has found the well of multiverse rage. or punching. i can't really tell which. however, it IS fun to watch.

Oh dear. Aria's listening to the others without punching them quite as often. Also, Sonata's far more competent than I had anticipated. This could be very, very bad for anyone who isn't a siren.

Also, prismatic spray has no alignment requirement or restriction, Trixie. It's not the spell's fault that you've never reached 13th level.

kul
kul #47 · Sep 12th, 2016 · · 3 · BLAZE: ·

Please dont follow movie canon, please dont follow movie canon, please dont follow movie canon, please dont follow movie canon, please dont follow movie canon..
The way of the throat punch must prevail! Screw friendship, screw moral lessons, just punch! Punch! Eat that soul like you mean it!!
Aaaaahhh!!
sorry for being too excited. I'll downvote myself

Friendship is magic!” the purple one shouted.

Her voice faded quickly, and silence wrapped around the gymnasium. Everyone stared as the six girls held their pose.

While the purple girl’s eyes were still closed, Aria walked up and punched her in the throat.

This is one of the most glorious moments I have ever seen. Bravo, good sir. :pinkiecrazy:

This might have been the throat-punchiest chapter so far. And I loved it. :pinkiecrazy:

Perhaps it's a far-fetched thought, but I'm really hoping that at the end of all of this, Sonata has enough and punches Aria in the throat. Like, HARDER than Aria ever has; putting her in her place essentially. Probably won't happen, but whatevs. Still loving this :rainbowlaugh:

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