• Published 28th Aug 2016
  • 3,457 Views, 119 Comments

Aria Blaze: Throat Puncher - Dubs Rewatcher



Decades after being banished to Earth, Aria Blaze is possessed by a strange force that compels her to punch people in the throat. Rainbow Rocks retold, with Aria as a throat-punching psychopath.

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Prologue: The Genesis of the Throat Puncher

Aria looked up just in time to see Adagio press her naked body against the jail cell's iron bars and scream, "Let me out of here!" Adagio threw a twisted glare down the hallway. “Do you know who I am? I'm Adagio Dazzle! Queen of the Sirens and Mistress of the Melody! I demand respect!

The police officer down the hall turned a page in her magazine. “Shut it, wackjob.”

“Wackjob? Why, you…” Adagio gripped the bars hard enough to turn her fists white. “You will unlock this cell, or you will die tonight by my hooves—claws. Talons. Whatever these wretched things are!”

“Fingers,” Aria said under her breath, tuning Adagio out. She stared at the tiny tentacles that wiggled in front of her eyes. They were connected to… palms? Yeah, that sounded right. They were hands! And when she balled them up, they became fists. She had seen these sorts of things before; monkeys had them.

Am I a monkey?

“Damn that unicorn!” Adagio said for the fourth time. She kicked the wall, nearly doubling over in pain as her bare foot bounced against the concrete. “Damn him and his stupid beard!”

The thudding sound of Adagio’s kick made Aria jump. Every neuron in her brain ran on overdrive. Her skull pounded.

And yet, when she looked across the jail cell at Sonata, she couldn’t help but feel lucky. Curled into a fetal position on the cell’s one bed, Sonata rocked back and forth, shuddering with every breath. Every few moments she would meet Aria’s gaze, only to look away and mutter something into her knees. Ragged locks of hair spilled over her shoulders. Her cheeks were still wet.

Aria snorted and went back to examining her new body—these bulbous sacs on her chest looked interesting—but couldn’t concentrate. As Sonata kept wheezing, Aria traveled across the floor to where Sonata sat and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She pulled Sonata against her and Sonata leaned into the touch, digging her fingers into Aria’s leg.

I hate you, Aria thought. You’re so stupid. But even as the words flew through her mind, she pulled Sonata tighter and smoothed out her hair.

Sonata had a reason to be acting this way, after all. No one could have prepared any of them for the burning torture that was going through the Crystal Mirror. Even sitting there, Aria still felt Star Swirl’s magic wrapping around her, ripping her body apart and putting it back together again… and that wasn’t to mention the humiliation of being arrested mere minutes after stepping out of the portal. What had they done? Taken off their clothes? Sirens didn’t wear clothes; those were for stupid ponies, and apparently stupid monkeys too.

And Sonata had comforted her like this too, right? Back when they were just hatchlings—

Adagio growled and plopped down on the bed, next to Aria. “I hate everything.”

Sonata looked up. “Even me?”

“Especially you,” Adagio said, gritting her teeth. “This is all your fault! If it wasn’t for you attracting so much attention, Star Swirl would have never discovered our plan to take over Canterlot, and we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

As Sonata started to cry, Adagio jumped to her feet and paced around the cell again. She glared down at her new body. “What even are these things? We look ridiculous! It’s like a bundle of misshapen sticks glued themselves together and started walking around!” She held up her shaking hands. “And what are these? Sausages? In what world are sausages superior to hooves?

Adagio’s yelps bounced off the walls and down the hall, turning the cell into an echo chamber and hurting Aria’s already throbbing head. “Would you shut up?” Aria asked, covering her ears. “You complain so much, you sound like a pony.”

“I’d almost rather be a pony at this point,” Adagio said. “This is absolutely ridiculous. I am not spending a single moment more dealing with these disgusting new bodies.”

“Oh, yeah?” Aria said, scowling. “What are you gonna do about it, then?”

Adagio spent a long moment thinking before sighing and raising her hand. “All in favor of throwing ourselves off of the nearest cliff?”

Aria narrowed her eyes. “Seriously?”

“What? It’s certainly better than starving to death now that we have no magic.”

“But,” Sonata choked out, lifting her head from her knees. She took a deep breath and managed to steady herself enough to say, “But we still have our Amulets. What if we can still feed?”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Adagio snapped, sending Sonata back into her own knees. “Did you not listen to the Elders a day in your life? The Harmonic Amulets run off of magic. Without it, they might as well be scraps of seaweed. And without working Amulets, we’re powerless.”

As Sonata trembled again, Aria touched a finger to her own amulet—and took a sharp breath. Somewhere deep inside the gem, she felt something… buzzing. It felt like electricity on her skin. It was faint, but it was there.

Maybe Sonata was right…?

A metallic slam came from the end of the hallway. Adagio and Aria jumped up and scurried over to the bars and glanced down at the female officer. She was talking in hushed tones to a scrawny male cop, who held the sirens’ clothes in his hands. The woman gave him a nod, then headed out the door. As soon as she left, a grin stretched across the man’s face.

“Well!” he called to Aria and Adagio, sauntering over. “How are my favorite streakers?”

“Unlock this cell,” Adagio said, “or I swear there will be Tartarus to pay!”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll get out of here soon.” The cop stopped in front of their cell and leered at them. “Wouldn’t want to upset a bunch of pretty girls like you.”

Aria had no care for her new body, but even so she couldn’t help but feel nauseous as the officer ran his eyes up and down her naked body. Whatever these sacs on her chest were—they looked a bit like the udders of a cow—this guy liked them.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Aria walked up to the front of the cell, close enough that she could have grabbed him through the bars. “You gonna give us those clothes?” she asked.

“In a minute.” Throwing their clothes to the floor, the officer leaned forward and chuckled. “Just enjoying the view.”

Aria’s face burned. She could feel herself going crosseyed in agitation as this filthy creature stared at her, sizing her up like she were a chunk of meat. He leaned in closer, and Aria tightened her hands into fists. Suddenly, her delicate fingers had melded into a hard ball. Aria wanted nothing more than to make this guy go away—to hurt him. But without an order from Adagio, she knew she shouldn’t do anything.

“So,” the officer murmured, his face inches away from hers. “How old are you, sweetie?”

Aria punched him in the throat.

Her fist shot out before the man could even blink. Her knuckles crunched against his fleshy skin, and immediately he let out a gargled yelp and fell to the ground. Adagio flinched away and Sonata jumped off the bed.

Meanwhile, Aria just stood there, arm outstretched and breaths shallow. That had just been a complete impulse. She hadn’t meant to…

A familiar scent filled her nostrils.

“Fear,” Adagio said, eyes going wide. She grabbed Aria’s shoulder. “He’s creating negative energy!”

“What do we do?” Sonata asked, running up to join them.

“Sing!” Aria said.

Standing side-by-side, the three girls lifted their heads high and sang. As Aria's melodious voice trailed through the air, melding with the others', thick green smoke rose from the man's shaking body. Even as he lay there, sprawled across the floor, his pupils shrank to pinpoints. He tried to reach for the holster on his hip, but his arm went limp. The wave of pleasure that came with feeding coursed through Aria, and the entire world seemed to slow. Her Amulet pulsed with energy.

After a few moments, the smoke faded, and the sirens ended their song. The officer sat up and gave them a blank look.

“He’s under our control,” Adagio said. She laughed. “Our Amulets still work!”

Sonata put her hands on her hips. “Told you so.”

“Don’t give me that grin,” Adagio said, scowling. “Yes, you were right. But that certainly wasn’t a full meal—it could barely be called lunch, if we’re being honest.” She sighed. “But I suppose it was a start. As long as our Amulets continue to function, we won’t starve.”

“Wait,” Sonata said, touching her gem. “You said that the Elders said these wouldn’t work without magic to power them. Does that mean… they were wrong?”

“Of course not,” Adagio scoffed. “The Elders are never wrong. Maybe I just misheard them.”

Aria gulped, still shaken by the crunch of her victim’s flesh. “This guy is under our spell. What do we do with him?”

“Oh!” Sonata raised her hand. “What if we—”

“No,” Adagio finished. She kneeled down until she was at eye level with him. “You, my friend, are going to let us out of this cell. You’re going to give us those clothes, give us all your money, and you’re going to escort us out of this jail.”

The officer nodded. “Uh-huh.”

The next few minutes were spent using their new slave. The officer let them out without question, and as soon as they clothed themselves, gave them his wallet, then led them out of the hall and back into the station proper. They waited a few minutes for him to fill out some paperwork, but as soon as he finished they were let go, free to roam where they liked. They waited until they had walked a few blocks before stopping to talk.

“So we’re not gonna starve?” Sonata asked.

“It appears that way,” Adagio said, fingering her amulet. “Thank you, Aria. You really should have waited for me to tell you to attack him, but… good work.” She smirked. “Looks like you did something right for once.”

Aria nodded and shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets. Her knuckles throbbed; monkey throats were tougher than they looked. Not only tough, but disgusting. Squishy, warm… Ugh. Back in Equestria, she had hit quite a few creatures with her hooves, but this was different. You couldn’t feel anything from a hoof punch. But a fist? You could feel everything.

She had used her fists to save them, sure, but she never wanted to do something like that again. Just the memory made her kind of nauseous.

“Come on,” Adagio said, strolling down the sidewalk. She flipped through the dollar bills in the cop's wallet. “Let’s go find somewhere to spend the night. If we really are stuck in this stupid world, I’m not spending the rest of my immortal life in an alleyway.”

“And maybe we can get some fancy clothes!” Sonata chirped, following after. “I’ve always wanted to try on one of those skirts all the rich pony girls wear.”

Aria just grunted and joined the pack. But in her pockets, she clenched her fists again, unnerved by the way her skin tightened over bone.