• Published 9th Jun 2016
  • 4,808 Views, 674 Comments

The Everglow of a Twilight Sunset - David Silver



Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle (EQG Edition) try to make the portal safer. This does not end well and sends both catapulting in the body of ponies into a world of danger, magic, and unending adventure. Will they survive their trip to Everglow?

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30 - Time to Go

"I know what's gone wrong," spoke the voice in Twilight's head, heavy and morose. "This is my fault... I broke the rules. I killed my children."

"What?" Twilight looked around, even if it was futile. "How? What'd you do?"

"You, this, all of this... Gods are not supposed to act so directly, but here I am. The more I acted, the more permission I gave her to act, and she... She's smarter than me... I killed them... They must remain in the darkness."

"You just said you can get the ones with us out." Twilight frowned sharply. "Is that not--"

Sunset put a hoof under Twilight's snout, directing her to look up into Sunset's eyes. "Hey. Bring us home already."

"I... I promised. This will be the last thing I do, then I will go away and not kill anymore." Pink magic swept over Twilight, Sunset, and all the short-legs. "Wait, the harmony of Sunset is different?"

Sunset blinked. "I can hear you? Oh! I'm from another world."

"It's very similar. You are gaining the frequency of Twilight's. Shall I send you there?"

Iliana looked over the group. "Is everything alright?"

Twilight bobbed her head. "Everything's fine." She turned to the small ponies, True included. "We're leaving, and I think you're coming with us, not to the outside, but to a whole other world. It will seem strange and alien, but we promise to help you adjust, and you won't have to work in these mines ever again."

The idea of being free of mines was easily accepted, and the presence of their goddess was undeniable. They nodded in sync and advanced, ready to go where their mother - for some literal - told them to go.

Sunset nodded back at them. "Alright, Lashtada, send us home."

"I'm sorry."

They were gone, nowhere and everywhere a moment before they spilled out in a heap of humanity before the same portal they had tried to close. There were groans and complaints, but as the short humans found the sun and realized they were outside, smiles came despite their alien bodies. They embraced awkwardly, each other and their saviors, Twilight and Sunset.

Sunset quirked a smile. "I guess we have to sign you all up for school."

One of the little females blinked in confusion. "We're adults."

Twilight shook a finger. "But there's a lot to learn about this world. Accept being a child for a little while. School's not so bad, especially with friends, which you all have in abundance."

True thumped his chest, a short man that could easily be among the seniors. "I will learn how to live in this..." He glanced over his shoulder at his clothed back end. "Do you really not have tails?"

The others shared a similar fit of sadness for missing tails and inanimate ears, but they seemed to be quieting about going to school at least.

Twilight reached for Sunset's hand suddenly. "Thank you." She shook it firmly. "For seeing me through all that. We should try to rest. and get back to school tomorrow."

Sunset blinked at the reaction, then glanced at all the short new members of Canterlot High. "You go on ahead. I'll see if I can't get all of these people some place to call home." She gave a little smile. "I look forward to seeing you, tomorrow, K?" She led the chattering short people away down the sidewalk.

Twilight headed back towards her home, heart heavy. They had made it home, but it was far from the glorious ending of their adventure she had been hoping for.

"I even messed that up," whispered a faint voice.

Twilight blinked and adjusted her glasses as she peeked around. "Did you, um, is that you?"

"Our tie remains. I have failed so completely in my world... Will you tolerate me here, hiding with you?"

Twilight blinked all the more. "You're... I mean, don't you have a god home or something?"

"Oh, yes. It's a lovely place. I would bring you here, if I could, but I used most of my remaining power to send you home, and my worshipers are far away or in a very dark place."

"I believe in you," pointed out Twilight as she tried to advance slowly. "Doesn't that count?"

"Will you dance for me?"

Twilight flushed. "Hey, I'm still in--"

"I mean musical dancing. Will you dance and sing for me? Will you be my first priest in this strange place?"

"I don't really know the first--"

"The first lesson a priest learns is to listen to their god. If you accept me, I will teach you, and reward you, and be your friend." A glimmer of hope welled in Lashtada's voice. "I already owe you so much, and I have much to learn. Will you show me this world of humans?"

Twilight arrived at the bus stop and boarded the first headed to her house. She whispered softly to herself as she sat down, "What about your, um, children, heck, your son. Why not have them be priests?"

"I have failed them," Spoke Lashtada in softest tone. "They will learn of their new world and forget me, and that is fine. They deserve a smarter god. Please, give me a new start."

Twilight rose and parted from the bus. One of the people waiting to get on raised a brow at her. "Nice tiara."

She didn't have a tiara. It was a diadem, from Everglow. It was one of the few things that came with her. Checking her fingers and necklace showed that her other magical items came with. She pulled at her shirt lightly and saw a fine mesh of metal rings underneath, her armor. Magic items survived the trip?

"Like our connection. If you wish me gone, just say it, and I will go."

Twilight considered banishing the voice in her head, but imagined Lashtada alone and broken, with no one, just... lost. "Look, we have to go over a few base rules, alright? I am not one of your 'children' and never will be."

"I know that. You will find your fertility when you are ready. You don't deny that life is a wonderful thing, as is its creation, yes?"

"W-well, no."

"Show me your house. I'm sure it's lovely."

Twilight went to her house with her divine company. Her life was about to get much more complicated.

Author's Note:

The end? And so closes the time loop, without harm to the continuum as a whole. Twilight arrives many years later, Everglow time, and does stuff. Read A Dangerous Sparkle if you want to dive in that hole and haven't done so.

Comments ( 40 )

Speaking of the other Ponyfinder stories, I'd love to see Tarnished Silver and Clouded Diamonds continued.

Well, this actually explains a LOT. Lashtada's lesson was learnt. She's changed from a sex crazed fertility goddess to the gentle love one from Dangerous Sparkle because of her time with sci Twi, most likely. This does raise the question, though... considering that canterlot high is connected to modern equestria and Twilight is most likely going to visit again in the future, will she met the Lashtada from the past? Would their contact motivate her to change, for she knows her children will be freed in the far future? It would make some sense, at least.

So silver, next comes more pony finder or Silver's?

Short sweet and typo-free as far as I can tell.

This has been an interesting adventure overall, and it was fun to read.

I do hope we see more of Roll in future tales, she will never forget Lashtada, at least.

Well, now that this has... ended? :rainbowhuh: I'm thinking it's a case of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn syndrome. The story doesn't end, it just stops for a while until someone chooses to continue it. :raritywink:

Anyway, i'm rambling. :twilightsheepish: On to the critique! :pinkiehappy:

This was a pretty damn good story, filled with fantasy, folklore, fun, folly and fancy. while being suffused with secrecy, spirit, some skirmishes, and some SunLight, if you take my meaning. :ajsmug:
it's a story that just makes you want more. :twilightsmile:
with your bonus points, it gives you 12/10 on the:yay:itude meter, with
:img05.deviantart.net/4a19/i/2016/131/e/c/my_little_show___badass_seal_of_approval_by_crisostomo_ibarra-da269yt.png

A ponified badass seal of approval! :rainbowdetermined2:
I wonder what adventures await Twilight and Sunset in the future? :ajsmug:

Divine law is a tricky thing, even for the divine. At least, it is when you have a one-track mind like Lashtada's. Still, every ending is a new beginning, and this one definitely presents a lot of possibility. Two dozen people popping out of nowhere are going to make some ripples, to say nothing of yet another world's magic finding its way into the plane of Canterlot High, including a goddess. Who knows? Maybe Twilight and Sunset can help coax Lashtada out of her depression.

In any case, definitely looking forward to seeing where you go from here.

Says much that given the expected temporal nonlinearity of gods and deities, that Lashtadas punishment in duration was commuted to having to attend Canterlot High. :trollestia:

SciTwi with all the top end Everglow Magic Gear?Only have to wait for the temporal lines to sych up again and that portal can be locked, chocked and permed.

At this rate, CHS is going to need a dialing system or other selector for all the destinations. Or use the other seven sides of the statue. Fifteen if youre Pinkie. :pinkiehappy:

Lol I find it a bit hard to believe that Sunset never once told Princess Twi, "hey we messed with the portal and ended up in yet another world!" (It is nice to know it's the same universe as Dangerous Sparkle).

As such I'm going to ask if that means the portal is now no longer connected to Equestria (making the journal not work either)? Or is that another spoiler type question I'm asking?

7397558 I could answer that, but future stories answer themselves, maybe.

I waited to post my thoughts on this to see if the story's "incomplete" tag was changed to "complete" or not. Now that it has been, and I'm sure that we're not going to see any more chapters for this (though you've surprised me before), I'll go ahead.

Insofar as endings go, there was still room for improvement here...but with that said, this is probably the most artful one you've done yet. In terms of narrative drama, it still felt unfulfilling that Twilight and Sunset, along with the short-legs, just left the party without so much as a backwards glance, let alone a goodbye. I would have thought that Roll, at the very least, would have warranted some words of parting, since they're almost certainly never going to see her again, and she has been their closest companion since they arrived.

That said, I can't speak too badly of how the supporting cast members were so quickly abandoned by the quick conclusion. While it feels odd to consider that they left them deep in gnoll country, this is ameliorated (at least somewhat) by what I said before regarding their eventual fates being telegraphed in previous chapters. After all, Ixen was only there for her own amusement (and is the primary reason why I have little doubt that the rest of hte party can get back safely), we know that Iliana survives (even if she isn't yet the magical powerhouse she will become), and Roll and Morning have already made plans for the future together. So we've had most of the blanks filled in on that front.

Insofar as Sunset and True go, things ended credibly well, though more could have been done. I would have liked to see True reminding Twilight that he still had feelings for her, and would wait as long as it took. That said, Sunset felt very in-character here; helping the hobbits short-legs get accustomed to the new world they've found themselves in.

The best part, though was Twilight and Lashtada. That last scene of them was very well executed, playing up what I felt was the strongest narrative pairing of characters (in an "odd couple" way) that we saw in this story. That it concluded with a "this end is a new beginning" felt great, as I loved how Lashtada's uninhibited nature clashed with Twilight's timidity; that that will continue - even if the dynamic is a bit different now - is a great note to end on.

Overall, this was a fairly fun little romp through Everglow, and did a great job at showing off another interesting part of the world!

Time for Sunset and Princess Twilight to talk and introduce Sci Twi and Soft Mane to each other, maybe...

So what level are Sunset and Twilight at this point, and what feats do they have, if you don't mind me asking?

They nodded in sync and advanced, ready to go where their mother, some literal, told them to go.

mother - for some literally - told

She didn't have the tiara.

a

The end?

After all the grief I've given you about your previous endings, I need to be sure and tell that this one was good. Not perfect, but good. Better than any you have done so far. You left Iliana, Roll and Morning as loose ends, but you had strong hints or other stories to let us know what most likely happened to them. Twilight and Sunset you brought back to where they started and had a reason for that to happen. Some of the short legs were saved, and what will happen to them in the new world was addressed. Lashtada and Twilight reached a compromise, and Lashie's dismal performance was explained. All in all, that was a pretty satisfying ending, if bittersweet. Well done.

7397627 Sunset was level 3-4, with Twilight being 2-3. They were not the heavy hitters at all, and that was alright.

7398404 Fixed, with another typo lurking nearby. Thanks for the kind words. That still felt like a rough landing to me, but maybe there were some survivors.

7398481 There is always room for improvement, but it was a significant step upward.

Seemed to have ended rather abruptly compared to the rest but still good story :twilightsmile:

I'm gonna have to echo that this is a much less abrupt and more related ending than we've seen in some other times. We knew the ending was coming, and the ending of the "main problem" of Twilight and Sunset being trapped in the wrong dimension was part of with the ending of the adventure conflict.

We even technically knew that solving the problem with the gnolls was going to solve Sunset and Twilight's problem, although the twist was that the short legs had to come with them and were part of the solution, instead of being a boon granted after that.

7399049 Glad you liked it. I'm mildly saddened only one reader seemed to mind much about True's old 'dancing' partner. She at least left something worth seeing, eventually.

7399108
Mind much in what way? True had a good friend who betrayed him (out of fear, though, at least), and he forgave her a bit too easily... but it was a pretty small part of the story.

Didnt like the ending too much but was quite the entertaining story, gg :rainbowwild:

Great story but can twilight use her ice magic or powers. I think an epilogue or two if not a sequel would answer that question.

I can't help but giggle and squee everytime I see the picture of Sci Twi as a pony.:rainbowkiss:

I feel like the ending happened too quickly and that the story needed more of a denouement, but dang, what a great story. I've been very much enjoying this on my commute to work for the past week. Such fun and inventive action. :twilightsmile:

7415576 I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Endings are not my strength, not at all, but I hear it's better than many of mine?

It's too soon to end it. The godess needs the chance to redeem herself. And maybe she can save the others in the right way.

I'm impressed, you did an amazing story!

7427394

This is a prequel of sorts.

See "A Dangerous Sparkle" for the continuation.

Finally finished getting this off my read later list.

It was... Okay. I love me a good DnD adventure romp, but the pacing throughout the story was really wonky at times, and the writing left me feeling somewhat disconnected from the action and the characters, especially near the end.

Roll was pretty cool, and I otherwise still enjoyed it enough to read all the way to the end. Have an upvote.

7511268 Glad you liked it, even if it wasn't perfect. Maybe next time.

Hmmm... a sequel would do nicely....
Great story!

8211346 There are a few other Ponyfinder authors about here, like Alzrius!

9123320
(joking) Hey, i don't like you THAT much.

9125632
Sylvan and Elven are related.

May I ask why they were sent to the Equestria Girls world instead of Equestria. :rainbowhuh: If they followed Sunset's resonance they would've ended up there and the Short Legs would need to deal with much less culture shock. Not only that but Twilight and Sunset can just travel through the mirror to get back.

Did you do this because you didn't want to go through the possibly confusing clusterbuck of time shenanigans if a Twilight still connected with Lashtada were to enter Equestria that has an Oracle and a Cleric (Cadence) that have met her when she was practically a dead god? Geez, that confuses me and I was the one who said it. :twilightoops:

Well no matter what happens Sunset and Sci-Twi have no reason not to tell Princess Twilight what happened. Hell for all we know the girls might have already informed Twilight about what happened through the book so no matter what it looks like you'll need to tackle that Yarn Ball of time nonsense.

9489518
That says more about Sunset, I would imagine.

9489595
Ohh, Sunset just wasn't ready to back to Equestria yet. Well, let's hope the Short Legs are able to adapt well enough.

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