[ Mute Horse Noises ]
Click for music.
Here she comes now, over there at the end of the road. I can see her trotting this way, blissfully unaware of the fantastically fabulous surprise she is about to receive. It will be amazing. I can see it now. She'll be walking along the street, and then BLAM, I surprise her and she's all like WOW YOU SURPRISED ME, and I'll be like YEAH. And then she'll laugh, and I'll laugh, and then we'll both laugh together and it'll be amazing! I can hardly wait to surprise her and--oh, I missed my window...
"SURPRISE!" Pinkie Pie screamed at the top of her lungs, her voice so shrill that the birds from a nearby tree were shaken from their grips on the branches. The windows of Carousel Boutique vibrated ever so slightly, and had their resonant frequency been any closer to Pinkie Pie's highly voluminous cheering, they would have surely shattered. A baby several miles away begins to cry and its parents do everything in their power to fix the problem to no avail.
Rarity, who had been carrying a load of fanciful fabrics via magic levitation, nearly jumped out of her skin from being in such close proximity to the 96 decibel scream. Her ears rang for several moments as she started to regather her bearings on reality, as well as to make sure she hadn't soiled her surroundings.
"Darling..." Rarity said to Pinkie Pie as she shot her an un-amused glare, "don't you think that was a little loud for a simple surprise?"
Little was perhaps the biggest understatement Rarity had made that entire year thus far. Especially so, considering how she had the tendency to over-exaggerate.
Pinkie Pie opened her voice to say, But no surprise is a simple surprise!. However, no words came out. Not even a whisper, mumble or squeak. The only noise that emanated from her lips was the sound of hot air and the faint noise of moist smacking, mostly due to the cupcake she was eating while waiting in the bushes prior to her surreptitiously secret surprise.
"Well," continued Rarity, "I suppose you did surprise me after all," she added with a slightly forced smile. She knew Pinkie always had good intentions, and it was the thought that counted. There were times when it became a slight annoyance, but it was a small price to pay for the joy and happiness that she brought to everypony 99% of the time.
Pinkie Pie emoted a look of gratitude and tried speaking again, considering perhaps that the last time was some sort of cosmological fluke, but once again, no words were spoken. She touched her mouth with a hoof and began to move it up and down while blowing air from her throat in a desperate attempt to jump-start her talk box (as she had no idea how talking worked in the first place), and it was at this point that Rarity decided it was, perhaps, time to leave the "conversation" and get back to work, since several onlookers were staring. Rarity walked away and up into Carousel Boutique, shutting the door quietly behind her.
Hmm, Pinkie thought to herself, Maybe Twilight can help me with this? She has magic and books...maybe one of them can get my voice back? It was worth a shot.
Pinkie Pie held three hooves in the air, while balancing on the other.
"Um...three words..." said Twilight.
She nodded excitedly, raising one hoof.
"First word..." continued Twilight.
Pinkie Pie pointed to her eye.
"See?"
She shook her head, and pushed her hoof into her eye.
"Oh!" exclaimed Twilight. "Stick a cupcake in my eye?"
Pinkie Pie shook her head again, and decided to take a different approach. She rustled through a nearby clothes bin and dragged out an eyepatch.
"You're a pirate? Um...you've found a map for buried treasure? Um...you have scurvy?"
She was making this much too complicated, and drew out the letter "I" in the air.
"I?"
She nodded in agreement and held up two hooves.
"Second word..."
Pinkie Pie pretended to walk around Twilight's castle, unaware of everything.
"Lost?"
She nodded and snorted inwardly to herself at the fact that she was able to guess that one on the first try and not the other. She held up three hooves.
"Third word..."
Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to yell and no sound came out, although this time it was on purpose.
"I lost...anger? I lost...talking? I lost...voice!"
Pinkie Pie nodded her head up and down very excitedly and plopped herself down next to Twilight to hear what she had to say. After all of that hard work doing charades, she felt an aura of relaxation wash over her at the thought that shortly, Twilight would be able to cast a magic spell and fix her in no time.
"Well," said Twilight, "actually I don't know any voice spells, but Zecora should be able to brew a potion for you."
Pinkie Pie, who seemingly forgot about Zecora and her ability to cure various ailments through potion brewing, blasted out the door leaving a tumultuous whirlwind in her wake. Twilight simply looked over at a nearby table with some quill and ink on top, thinking to herself how much easier the past ten minutes could have been.
"If a voice is what you seek, you'll come back here in a week," said Zecora. She was busy grabbing several personal belongings from her shelves and drawers and had a pack across her back. "Off to visit home is where I'll be. I'm sorry I can't help you, Pinkie."
Pinkie Pie put on a sad face.
Zecora was standing outside her home, packed up and ready to go. "I've got to go now, it's nearly four. Please be kind and be out the door."
Pinkie Pie walked outside.
"I'd help if it were quick, but voice potions are quite the trick. Finding ingredients would take some time, and I would surely start to run out of rhyme."
Drat... Pinkie Pie voiced inwardly. She struggled to think of what to do next to fix her voice. Already she'd exhausted the two most likely solutions, and simply wouldn't allow waiting and relaxing her voice to cross her mind. She left Zecora's home not even two minutes after arriving and began making her way back to Ponyville. She trotted near Fluttershy's cottage. Maybe she can help me somehow, Pinkie thought. She put her face up against the window, putting on a comically sad face. Although it felt a little more real that she would have liked.
Inside the cottage, Fluttershy was heating up some tea in her kitchen, and Angel sat on the floor beside her tapping his foot impatiently.
"I'll be right with you, Angel," Fluttershy replied to his incessant thumping.
Angel sighed and rolled his eyes, then allowed his balance to fade and fell on his back against the wooden floors and sighed.
"Oh please," Fluttershy replied, "you're almost as dramatic as Rarity..."
He apparently took that as a compliment and began to roll about on the floor in exaggerated agony. Fluttershy finished pouring the tea into a mug and brought it to a comfy chair and table near her front porch window. Sitting down ever so gently, delicately holding the cup of tea, she breathed in the warm aroma and relaxed, closing her eyes. Wait... Fluttershy thought with her eyes closed, did I see something...pink?
She opened her eyes, and suddenly, the face of Pinkie Pie was pressed up against the glass window directly beside her. Startled, she jerked her hooves and wings, sending the tea flying into the air. A look of pure horror spread across Fluttershy's face as she watched the mug of scalding hot tea spill in mid air directly above her lap.
"Here's a cup of my finest tea," said Fluttershy, handing it to Pinkie Pie.
She gracefully accepted it, making sure not to make any sudden movements to avoid a repeat of the incident that happened prior. Fluttershy spent at least five minutes cleaning up the mess, another five to tend to Angel, and five more just for Pinkie Pie to explain her predicament. After that, she brewed some tea for Pinkie Pie and they sat in silence, drinking it together in the comfort of her living room. Pinkie Pie sipped it gently, and Fluttershy couldn't help but smile. It was a rare occasion to see Pinkie so calm and serene.
"Is it working?" Fluttershy mumbled softly.
Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to speak, but still nothing came out.
"Well," she continued, "perhaps you just need to rest--"
And with that, Pinkie Pie was out of the door.
"Well, it was nice while it lasted," Fluttershy said aloud to herself before taking another sip of her tea.
Well, might as well try them all one by one, Pinkie Pie thought to herself as she wandered aimlessly. Except Rarity, of course. She still felt kind of bad about it. So, that left Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Pinkie Pie trotted hastily to Sweet Apple Acres, although she took a couple detours to eat a few apples along the way to their house. Outside, Applejack was working in the yard, pulling weeds.
"Howdy there, Pinkie Pie," Applejack greeted pleasantly as she pulled out a particularly large weed from the ground.
Pinkie waved her hoof in silence and trotted up to her.
"What can I do fer' ya?" Applejack continued.
Pinkie Pie pointed to her open mouth.
"Uhh...what now?"
She pointed harder.
"Um...you eat somethin' nasty?"
Pinkie Pie shook her head.
"Opal got yer' tongue again?"
That was a story. Pinkie Pie shook her head again.
"Uh, well..." Applejack muttered as she tried to interpret Pinkie's cryptic predicament. "Oh, you lost your voice? Well, I know just what'll fix it up. Come in here now."
Applejack led a gleeful Pinkie Pie into the house and began searching through various shelves and drawers. "There's an old family recipe we use for everything from the common cold to the pony pox," Applejack told Pinkie as she continued to grab several ingredients. She put a bag of salt on the table, followed by some pickle juice, peaches, vinegar, olives, chili peppers, and an apple.
"The apple is fer' makin' it go down easier," said Applejack. She mixed up the ingredients together in a cup and blended them, handing it to Pinkie. "If this don't work, I don't know what will."
Pinkie Pie looked at the concoction of ingredients swirling in her cup, and downed the entire thing in one gulp, seemingly unphased in the slightest by the taste and texture. Applejack looked ever so slightly disturbed.
"Well?" Applejack asked. The question was obvious.
Pinkie Pie hit her chest a few times with a hoof, breathed in a breath of air and held it for several seconds. Then, what came out was sound, but not exactly what Applejack was expecting.
"BUUUURRRPPP"
The sound echoed throughout the entire house.
"What in tarnation was that?" Granny Smith sounded from upstairs.
"Pinkie Pie," Applejack answered plainly.
"Oh, go on then!"
"Maybe I got the ratios wrong..." Applejack said aloud. She turned around and began to make up another cup of the concoction, but as soon as she set it on the counter, she realized that Pinkie was already gone.
"Hmph," Applejack snorted, looking down at the rancid beverage in front of her. "Well, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste..."
"So of everypony to help you, I was your last choice?" asked Rainbow Dash. Somehow, Pinkie Pie managed to wave her down from the skies without being able to call her out with her voice.
Pinkie Pie shrugged.
"Well," said Rainbow Dash, "you'll wish you didn't wait all day, because I know exactly how to fix your problem."
Pinkie Pie's eyes lit up.
"Just wait right here," she continued. "I'll be back in five minutes..."
Rainbow Dash took off into the sky, leaving Pinkie Pie standing next to a lone tree in the middle of a field. Pinkie Pie hoped whatever Dash had was going to work, because she was running out of options. She'd have to spend the whole rest of the day voiceless before it would come back the next morning. Or even worse: the day after that. Such a long time without a voice sounded like absolute torture to the pink mare.
Several seconds passed, and Rainbow Dash had secretly returned to Pinkie Pie, hiding behind the trunk of the tree she sat against with her back. Rainbow Dash crept around the side of the tree, making sure not to make a single noise. Then, she suddenly exploded with ferocity, her wings outstretched as far as she possibly could directly in front of Pinkie Pie.
They stayed outstretched for several seconds, and Pinkie Pie stared at her plainly.
"...that didn't scare you?" asked Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie Pie shook her head.
"Not even a tiny bit?"
More shaking.
"...Are you going to say anything or what?"
Confused shaking.
"Wait...what was it you were trying to tell me earlier?" Rainbow Dash asked. "This was for hiccups, right?"
The day was coming to a close, and the sun was beginning to set. Pinkie Pie walked depressingly through the street. Not even prancing a little bit. She came across the Carousel Boutique on her way home and debated whether or not to ask Rarity what she might be able to do to help.
She knocked on the door.
"Come in, darling!" said the muffled voice of Rarity.
Pinkie Pie walked inside.
"Tea?" Rarity offered, and Pinkie politely refused. She'd drank enough liquids today and didn't exactly find the time to relieve herself.
"Have you got anything to say? Do you need anything?"
Pinkie Pie pointed at her open mouth.
"Well..." Rarity replied, her voice trailing off, "I suppose I can cook you some food, but..."
Pinkie Pie shook her head again. She was starting to get a cramp in her neck from all of the day's shaking.
"Well what is it?" Rarity replied. "Can't you talk?"
Not a second passed before Rarity realized what the problem was. "Oh! Well I can certainly fix that! I've got just the thing laying somewhere around here..."
Somehow, Pinkie didn't exactly believe her. She watched as Rarity left the room and dug through several chests and cabinets, returning with a simple necklace.
"Put this on."
Pinkie took the necklace and put it around her neck, giving Rarity a confused look. Rarity simply looked back, as if her voice was supposed to be magically fixed by wearing this necklace.
"Now what?" said Pinkie. She immediately put her hooves to her mouth in surprise. A sense of shock overcame her, and she inhaled as much as she possibly could without her lungs bursting before finally letting loose.
"Oh my gosh Rarity thank you so much for this I'm so sorry that I was too loud and I had to spend all day going around trying to figure out how to fix my voice so I went to Twilight but she didn't know how but she said Zecora could fix it with potions but she was going out of town so I went to Fluttershy's to have tea but it didn't do anything and I made her spill tea on her lap and then I went to Applejack's and she had me drink a weird family recipe but it didn't do anything either even though it tasted pretty neat and then I found Rainbow Dash and she tried to scare me but it didn't work because my 'Pinkie Sense' but it's not like it mattered because she was trying to cure my hiccups and I didn't have hiccups so then I went to you and you fixed it. I LOVE YOU RARITY!"
Pinkie Pie collapsed onto the floor and nearly fainted.
"Well," said Rarity. "I'm not quite sure I caught all of that, but...I'm glad you're back to normal."
Pinkie Pie's head swayed back and forth slightly as she came to her hooves. "Thank you, Rarity..." she said dizzily. "Wait...why could you fix me with magic but not Twilight?"
"The magic of psychology," Rarity replied with a proud smile.
"You mean I could have been talking this whole time?" Pinkie gently shook Rarity with her hooves
"Apparently," she replied. "It's all mind over matter, darling. Conceive it, believe it, receive it."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- PonyThunder · 891 words · 35 0 · 955 views
- PonyThunder · 1.9k words · 29 2 · 650 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.171 seconds
Total duration
1,110 users online
1,994,352 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Megusta.
Haven't read a Pinkie story as good as this in a loooooooooong time.
7541421
Thanks, I appreciate that! What makes a good Pinkie story in your opinion? I try to avoid making her overly quirky to a fault. Although, it wasn't so hard in this one since she couldn't even talk...
7541429
Yeah, I don't really know. I think her just being happy and bouncing along like her show personality. I think too many stories are all DARK! TORTURED PAST! ANGST! when I more consider her the most transparent character. I mean, don't get me wrong, I looooooooove Pinkie Personalities, but it's just like, really? Insane doctor causing a shit ton of trauma? The whole Pinkemena thing gets played too much in my opinion. I just like the whole "Pinkie sorts of bounces around and gets into shenanigans and is just really cute and bouncy and awesome" thing more than, like, 45 chapter stories about her past. Contraptionology is also great but the Pinkie depicted there just sort of rubs me the wrong way. I don't really know why. I'm the type of person who gets all hype when featured stories are one shots with a funny screenshot of an episode, and you know it's gonna be totally uncanon and you don't care, or it's some stupid thing happens and canon acting characters deal with it. Well, thanks for listening to my intense rambling! Also, I'm totally(probably)misusing the word canon, so... 
So yeah! Grade A stuff you have in this story! Hope it gets the featured box or whatever the "cool authors" are doing these days...
7543566
I don't read too much fanfiction...believe it or not...but I certainly enjoyed your ramblings. Unfortunately I don't think this one is gonna be too much of a hit. I've gotten featured one time a while back, but it was only for about thirty minutes. I think there's a couple stories I could have gotten up there had they been posted at a better time of day.
Thanks for reading!
An entertaining and engaging little read. I especially liked Pinkie's run-on paragraph, as well as her excited little monologue at the start.
The resolution was nonsensical and silly, but it is a Pinkie Pie story, after all. 
Thanks for the share! 
Gods dammit, Twilight. There’s a hospital in town. Y’all have access to something that at least looks a bit like modern medicine if you squint, and you send her to the local naturopath selling “Ancient Secrets From My Homeland”. I expected better of you.
See!? You see that!? That zebra knows full well that laryngitis is a self-limiting condition. Next week she would have given Pinkie some snake oil (and that’s what she uses, Twilight. Literal snake oil. Every time you’ve gone to get one of her “miracle cures” you’ve been drinking literal snake oil. And no, you don’t wanna know how she separates the oil from the snakes.). She gives Pinkie some snake oil and claims credit for the normal functioning (for a given value of normal, cuz Pinkie) of her inate healing and immune systems. So disappointed.
9677860
Thanks! This story was definitely just for funsies. It seems like it got some attention all of a sudden. Did someone link it or do a reading/review?
9678216
Someone may have added it to a few *cough* groups *cough*...
9678264
Much appreciated haha
Gratefully added to Pinkie Pie Stories
Very entertaining.
The placebo effect can be a truly powerful thing.
interesting