• Published 26th Oct 2016
  • 1,179 Views, 37 Comments

Feeling That Way - Super Trampoline



You're drenched in sweat and ennui. She's fighting the enemy, and you're fighting depression. Stuck forever in a nowhere town, you try to rise above inertia, but you only end up feeling useless. You're always feeling that way.

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Feeling That Way

Maybe it's the chaotic magic drifting from the east. Maybe it's the alchemical byproducts in the water. Maybe it's her missing presence. But probably, it's all these things and more. Whatever the cause, you feel malaise. Nothing new. You're always feeling that way.

When the changeling kingdom first integrated into Equestrian society, ponies were aghast at the rampant, constant hunger most 'lings had been facing. The changelings, for the most part, shrugged it off, claiming it to be a way of life. But Equestrian citizens were mortified by sensationalist news reels straight from the badlands and lurid newspaper articles written by survivors of Chrysalis's mad reign, shocked by the pervasive starvation and suffering their fellow equines had suffered.

You can relate.

It's not even the hunger. You're used to the rationing, and really, it's not so bad, nothing like what you hear is happening in the cities. No, it's not the hunger, at least not for calories. It's the emptyness. Perhaps, you sometimes wonder, you are a changeling. It certainly would explain how lost you feel without her. But more likely, you fear, you're simply a loser.

What kind of stallion stays at home while his fiancée fights on the front line?

A pathetic one, that's for sure.

Please, don't feel guilt, beloved, her letters implore you. We need strong ponies like you at home to grow the food and build the tools that keep Equestria fighting. Your role is no less important than mine.

Sitting on a creaky rocking chair overlooking almost nothing, you're certainly not feeling that way.

Nothing to do.

Never anything new.

It's been like this for almost three years.

Supposedly, quarries nearby are an important source of mercury. Or were at one point; the rumble of freight trains is a rare sound these days. Mercury is a vital base component in many alchemical processes. They taught you that in school. When your soldiers are fighting enemies resistant to traditional magic, you need every leg up you can find.

Not you, personally. You're not fighting the Verge. You're sitting here doing nothing.

Loser.

Supposedly, there's a lot of wheat being grown around here. Probably. Plants pretty much all look the same to you. Everything is looking increasingly the same to you. But especially plants. That's why you're a plumber, not a botanist. But not a lot of pipes break when not a lot of ponies use them. This town used to have thousands bustling about it. Now it's probably in the high hundreds. No one's really sure; it's not like censuses are a top priority right now.

Nothing seems to be much of a priority, these days. Perhaps you're not the only one feeling that way. You've watched this town die, as the mercury deposits have run out and the rail shipments dwindle. You hear there's still one mine open on the outskirts of town, but it's not like you have the energy to visit it. Beyond that, all that's left are the toxic tailings seeping back into the ground. Perhaps you should expand from plumbing to... what's it called? Hydra-logy? That can't be good for the drinking water. Good thing you use the thick lead pipes.


A dusty wind rakes at the weeds growing along the road. The weather sure goes to the windigoes when there aren't enough pegasi to run it. On stormier days, the now-dormant telegraph wires might sing, but today, the worst the wind does is clog your nostrils and circulate the flies. You wonder how they don't succumb to lethargy. You wish you had their energy.

You're not the only one, probably. There are others like you. The entire town--what's left of it, anyway--is others like you. Weighed down by the collective guilt of being here and not there, or perhaps just by the omnipresent dry heat, you all sit on your porches, trudge about your errands, and mutely suffer through the endless chipper propaganda broadcast on peeling posters and staticky radio waves.

You don't doubt this war is an important one, probably even a just one. It's not easy to get a pony to fight, after all, so there must be a good reason behind it. You're such a skittish species. Perhaps that's why the war is so foreign, so distant. The very concept of fighting to death is alien. If she doesn't die (and you do still hold on to this hope), your love will come home one afternoon and you will both encounter husks. Her, scored by years of kill-or-be-killed, worn down by stress and hardship you can't imagine. You will be hollowed out by the emptiness of what is left at home. How can your shelling compare to hers? It can't, and the guilt of this inequality forever stalks your thoughts. What right have you to complain?

And when she does come home, what will she even have to come home to? She's grown stronger, but you, you've grown nowhere. Only duller and denser and more distant. Not just you, everything. You've read about the magic being drained out on the warfront. Maybe that's happening here too. Maybe bloodshed isn't the only way the war can kill a pony. You're safe and sound and absolutely dead. You and everypony else. Is ponykind worth saving if this is what's left to save? Is this the magic, the harmony, the friendship you were promised, that your nation supposedly embodies?

Or a pale imitation that these days feels genuine?

You try not to think about it too much. There are no pleasant answers.

But speaking of thinking and feeling, you think you feel another headache coming on. Reluctantly, you pry yourself from the chair and listlessly stagger inside. At least there's alcohol. It's no substitute for her, but better numb than empty, right?

Are you feeling that way?

Author's Note:
Comments ( 37 )

Geez.

I am now.

Love that name choice, by the way. The Verge is a terrifying title.

Lovely bit of loneliness and guilt in there, and I definitely empathize for your depiction - a very touching piece, and worthy of your return to form! Welcome back, Supertramp!

... and yes, I do feel that way.

"At least there's alcohol."

Damn straight.

I really like this, Trampoline.

Is this the crystal war against Sombra, or something else?

7674071 7911775 I mean, it could be, but I pictured it more being a vague unspecified future war in the main timeline, which is why I didn't put the alternate universe tag.

What the war is isn't important as what its effects are.

This.. this was good. Definitely one to think on.

7674197 glad you appreciated it!

But speaking of thinking and feeling, you're feeling another headache coming on.

Match this up with the line of "thick lead pipes," and we get more understanding of why we are getting this headache.

Maybe it's the alchemical byproducts in the water.

Cool thing here is, and you may not have noticed it, is that water means rebirth, or life in literature. What's so cool, is that this story shows the change of a couple as one heads off to war, and one stays home and rots in their own ennui. There is also the change of the nature of Equestria, and how meanings of certain aspects of life are being reborn into a new understanding of reality.

Another thing I'm reminded of when reading this, is old twentieth century writers. In that sense, ones that wrote about "The Great War," or "World War I" as it's known today.

Last thought was how I liked the use of second-person, and found it justified, due to how it draws us in as a reader. A literary device that's used effectively, and makes us attached to these characters, in just a brief one-thousand word short story.

Good job, this was worth the read.:twilightsmile:

7674442 :heart::heart::heart:
Authors live for in-depth comments like these.

The lead pipes don't help, but also note what the alchemy base they're mining is, and whether that is contributing to some of that Malaise...

7674461 Ah, yes, Almost forgot about that element. I was just drawn in by the comment of "Hydrology," and the good ol' "Thick lead pipes."

See that? That's why it's good to look over a work multiple times; it has more meaning to offer the more you look into it.

Glad you enjoyed my little brain splodge. I just been into literary analysis ever since I had to look into the meaning of stories like, "Hills Like White Elephants, and "Frankenstein" for English.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Damn, son, you outdid yourself here.

7906473 fuuuuuck present perfect I, so high right now and sad that I have 1200 unread blogs or updates or whatever that middle column is in our notification bar because I haven't checked it for like three weeks because I'm afraid to because I know I'm not going to be able to read them all before my computer crashes so I will not get information about what my friends and role models are doing and what not so I really need to get on that but anyway so I have so many stories I need to write but that takes actual effort but here I put forth some effort describing the NUI I feel, you really liked it and this comment was exactly what I needed you are amazing buddy I hope to finally meet you Sunday at Trop Colin or Brony con.

Great mood piece. Who is the enemy that the Ponies are fighting? I'm guessing this is just a small piece of a larger story universe.

7911775 I never really figured it out, and I'm not sure how much it matters. Maybe this is the alternate universe where they're fighting sombra. Maybe it's the Diamond dogs. Who knows.

7911814

The total moblization feels like the Sombra-verse. The location seems like Nickerlite. The mare in question could easily be one of the Pie Sisters.

Oh my gosh, Trampoline can actually write good when he stops goofing around.

I am impressed.

7916202 Write well. :raritywink:

And yes, but the problem is it's nearly impossible to get myself to focus on serious writing. And on finishing said serious writing. I have way too many stories in various stages of completion. :applecry:

7916621 Such is the lot of anyone who writes, my friend.

Hap

Interesting. I'm not completely sure what's going on here, but the emptiness came across well.

Amazing!

Wow! Guy DeMaupassant couldn't have done this better!

8089639 Huh, another "Guy" I haven't read! I'm sure Bad Horse knows all about him. You should ask Bad Horse his thoughts on him.

Corrections offered without malice.

emptyness

emptiness

I'm not all that moved, but that's because i was already there, rather than the story not connecting and delivering pony-shaped dissonance.

Note: I have read Anytime as well. I'll get to that soon.

Fuller review here, but in brief: bleakly beautiful, with some nice world-building considering the fic's brevity. (Mercury mining? That's not going to do much for anyone's health.) Faved, in that slightly guilty way I do when I feel I should but don't really want to say I enjoyed the fic in question.

8895345
Thank you for the kind words here and on Louder Yay!

How did I miss this? A devastating portrait of toxin-assisted depression, the slow death of the very thing they're fighting to defend on the front lines. Excellent work. Thank you for it.

That I came here after reading the self-proclaimed 'most random story on Fimfiction' amuses me. Super T., this flows nice. (Yes, I will use an adjective as an adverb.) More importantly, you communicated effectively deep, complex emotions in only one thousand words. That is pretty damn impressive.

I love that you can write something like this and simultaneously not give a shit about 'serious' writing and have some fun whenever you want. Definition of a cool guy in my book. Take the follow and upvote.

This might be your worst shitpost. Because it's not a shitpost. It's damn good. Excellent story. Glad I came to check it out.

10941104
Glad you enjoyed appreciated it!

Finally read this.
Not gonna lie, I've been coming back to it over and over for more than a year.

I would always end up getting distracted ed and then choosing something else. Possibly because I needed something that wasn't ennui.

But I read it. And it's good. And now I have the same feelings floating over me. Dunno if it's the 2nd person perspective or the fact that Covid really f-ed up the world.

But it's good, man. Really good.

10948624

Not gonna lie, I've been coming back to it over and over for more than a year.

fuck if that's not a mood.

as for the rest of the comment, thank you from the bottom of my heart. shit like this keeps me writing

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