• Member Since 10th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen Jul 9th, 2017

Mlp Kitty


I'm a big mlp fan and enjoy fanfic about alternate worlds and\or time travel. Favorite pony: Twilight Sparkle Also a Teen Titans fan.

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Raven is chosen as a replacement for Twilight by Discord at the beginning of season 4. But old friends and enemies soon follow.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 25 )

I would like to thank the author of my little Titan for inspiring me!

You would have better results writing with some sort of spell check and then pasting into FIMFic.

I've never seen Teen Titans. This seems okay.

Okay, first point, either expand, fold in or lose the 'prologue', it's not even much of a scene and doesn't add anything to the story, we could figure out that Raven and Twilight got mucked with through this chapter.

Second point, you might want to double check the spelling and grammar on this, make sure things read right. It might be worth reading it to yourself or having someone else read it out loud and see how they do so. Might also want to expand things a bit, this being a crossover and in one group specifically for this particular cross you'll probably get people who know which character is which with a name drop, but also remember you're the senses of the readers, saying that Raven awoke can work, but maybe filter more than just the 'murmuring' in to the opening, say like scents and feelings. If she's just woken up she'll probably be a bit groggy, but the change in scent and the fact she's feeling things different to when she set down to meditate will alert her to things being changed even before she sees herself.

As a quick examplar, I'm working on something inspired by the same fic, but I'm using a different set of characters and this is my protagonist's reaction to waking in the pilot episode:

The mid-morning glow of the sun made her the insides of her eyelids burn red as the purple unicorn stirred and groaned. Finding no relief from turning her head away from the sun, she opened her eyes and groaned again, pushing up from the book that had been acting as a pillow, the scent of old, warm paper being replaced by mountain grass and air.

“Well…” she muttered as she looked around the mostly open field around her. Park maybe? There were buildings fairly close. “This is different. Why do I get the feeling it will end badly?” she mused aloud. A scowl pulled at her face as she continued, getting deeper as she saw nothing familiar. Where the heck am I? Last time I woke up without my sister, cousin and dog nearby, it was those idiots that called themselves the Invisible Basilica kidnapping me from school….

The open grass field dotted with trees like the one behind her and lack of restraints hinted that it wasn’t the group that had broken into her boarding school to kidnap her, unless they were now experimenting with drugs. Then again, she didn't feel woozy or hyper, a telltale of the drugs they had used the last time.

Why do I feel like this place is familiar to me? The unicorn wondered, turning her attention back to the book she had been lying on. Besides a little drool from where she had been sleeping, the image of a pair of winged unicorns facing off against one another was the only thing she recognised on the page, an image that made icy claws run down her spine.

Notice her own speaking and thinking tell us about her, and her senses tell us a bit about the environment before we really see it.

7289124 Thank You for your feedback, a more detailed response will follow.

7289124 The prologue is necessary simply to introduce the characters for those who are not familiar with the show. As for the writing style I will go back and edit it after I have finished writing the whole story. Also I'm just wondering have you ever seen Teen Titans?

7292324 Seen a few bits, I honestly much prefer the comic art style than the cartoon, but I know who the main group is, I also know that the cartoon group isn't the same as the comic group and that they were in their second incarnation when the cartoon kicked in. I think the originals were Robin (Dick), Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Aqualad. Second time out in the comic they dropped Aqualad for Cyborg, Raven, Changeling/Beast Boy and Starfire and the cartoon drops Kid Flash and Wondergirl.

7292469 Interesting, I've only seen the cartoon. NOT the current one, the original!:twilightsmile:

What do you think of the new chapter so far?

Any opioins on the new cover art?

I know, my spellings awful!:raritycry:

So, I just read all the chapters, and let me just say I love Teen Titans, they were my favorite growing up. :yay: This crossover has a really good concept, but it needs a bit of tweaking. The things I'd work on are punctuation, spelling, spacing, stuff like that. I'd also slow things down and expand the chapters more. Try to give Raven more time to process everything around her, and maybe more emotion from the other characters too. I really liked the part where Raven could see bits of her friends in Twilight's friends, that was really sweet. :pinkiehappy:

I see that the ending is steering toward Power Ponies, which is cool, but try make it your own story instead of the show's. I'm interested to see your input. :twilightsmile::heart:

7349682 Actually, I plan on ending the story at starlight glimmers village. And as for power ponies, I plan on making more than just a few tweaks.:raritywink: I'll let you know when I've added more to that chapter. And thank you for taking time to read this story at all. It means a lot!:twilightsmile: Also, does the cover art seem OK?

7351540 I love the art! Did you draw it?

7351578 Why yes! That's probably why I'm so nervous about having it displayed to the whole fandom.:twilightsheepish:

7351586 That's a cute drawing, I like it :rainbowkiss:

Strange, I didn't get a notification that this had updated.

The new art seems to be an improvement. Were you planning to gradually upgrade it over time?

7352672 For those who were unaware, I'm a secret pegasister. I will update this story (and possibly the art) either the middle of the night or when I'm alone.

Sorry about the lack of updates, but I'm currently in the process of writing a novel I intend to publish.:twilightsheepish:

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Attention everyone! Chapter 4 of Replacement is finished!

It's been a while in the making. Onward!

A few spelling errors here and there, but good overall!

7722394 Thank you! I still can't believe you're actually reading this!

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