I love it!

Interesting

7285678 DADDY!*guggles* Dadada!

I do like the general atmosphere you created in your little pilot here. There were a few spelling errors in a couple of spots, and at the beginning you did have a little but of a run-on, however, overall I am pleased to say that your story has piqued my interest. Do continue this story, Or at least have a whole new story dedicated to this whole Schism. You've got quite a bit to work with here, and I believe in you to make a great little tale.
Emperor guide you.

42HerooftimeKnight of the Moustache

7285742 Hey sweetie ^^

An Equestria Divided story?!

Bueno...

7285773 Howdy good sir and or madam, I'm glad you enjoyed my story. I'm still honestly shocked that people enjoyed it. Would you mind if I ask where the spelling errors would be, and maybe the run-on sentence? I'd like to fix the issues before continuing my work on the second chapter. As for expanding upon the Schism? Though I could theoretically expand upon it, there are definitely people who could do it better or have done it better. Besides, the Schism is a big part of Equestria Divided and if you're truly interested in it, you could find more information at this group: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197422/equestria-divided
There you can find a link to the Canon of that universe, and in the forums people discussing it in depth and filling holes. I'm sure they could explain it better. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

So, you've read through my probably outstandingly, horrifyingly bad first attempt at both a story and chapter

Better then mine