• Member Since 14th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen February 12th

Dandereshy


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Zephyr Breeze could never do anything right. He never felt loved, never felt wanted, and never felt like he belonged. He pushed on through his shortcomings only to see if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. But he never told his family how he felt.

Shortly after becoming an adult, he is in and out of homelessness, and only his parents could give him a place to stay. His older sister Fluttershy insists that he get a job, but he can't. He just can't.

He finally breaks down at his sisters as she asks him to leave there as well, and tells it all.

Overcome with pity for her hopeless and depressed brother, she reveals to him a secret that changes everything...


Got this idea while PMing a friend. Cover art by Alyssa Hartwick.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

7275709 anytime I always love going on fimfic after a good episode and reading more about it. Can't beat a bit ol flutter butter

7275727

I agree completely.:pinkiesmile:

I-I'm not crying... B-baka!!
media.giphy.com/media/jmroipCNWfDCE/giphy.gif
These are manly tears.

7275793

There, there...

*comforts*

How do you guys write so quickly?! It takes me weeks to come up with stuff and find time to put it on 'paper'

7275810

:twilightblush:

This is actually the fastest I've ever put out a story. And I actually had help on the idea behind it.

7275849 impressive

This is a very good one-shot.

The idea is great! I think this could've been better expanded upon, though... I'm pretty sure if someone shoved a baby into your arms and left before you could do anything, there would be more than a few thoughts and potential actions of 'Oh what do we do? I guess we'll deal with it later.'
It also feels like Zephyr is much too accepting and instantaneously doing a 180 with his personality at the revelation.

Still, this is creative, and it caught my attention at 3 in the morning... and from the looks of it and the extra details in the description, you probably just jotted this as an exercise in response to the episode, which is still pretty awesome. Anyway, not bad. :twilightsmile:

The story is nice, but...

Zephyr Breeze could never do anything right. He never felt loved, never felt wanted, and never felt like he belonged. He pushed on through his shortcomings only to see if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. But he never told his family how he felt.

Shortly after becoming an adult, he is in and out of homelessness, and only his parents could give him a place to stay. His older sister Fluttershy insists that he get a job, but he can't. He just can't.

He finally breaks down at his sisters as she asks him to leave there as well, and tells it all.

I would have preferred having more of this in the actual story instead of in the description.

7277117

Yeah, I would have definitely expanded it a lot further, but I guess my focus was not on the right thing (I wrote it assuming the other much faster writers on this site would pop this idea in a story out unless I started RIGHT NOW), so it's rushed a bit.

I will definitely make an effort to add more detail to this later when I get the chance.:twilightsheepish:

7277428

Yeah, I'll definitely be making some improvements here once I get back around to it.:twilightsheepish:

This is a pretty decent story.

7306929

Thanks!:twilightsmile: And thanks for adding it to Good Stories!

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