- Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
- offline last seen Yesterday
TheTimeSword
For someone named "TheTimeSword", I sure don't manage my time very well.
TheTimeSword
Joined 20th Oct, 2015 ·
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Is it wrong I was hoping for this to be a Princess Trollestia approved Pregnancy Test that would have said "Bitch you might be."?
Awww, happiest end.
I know this was just a sex story but can we get a sequel where they have the baby it would be neat
Loved it, even though it was just clop. This has been the first bit of Spilight I've seen in quite some time.
Ssshheeeeee-it.
This fic makes me wish it was the side-clop to a real ship-fic. It's always interesting to see how author's interpret the evolution of these two's pre-existing relationship into something romantic.
Anyway, nice fic. Congratulations SpiLight, you guys are gonna have Equestria's first Qilin!
if it was developed into an actual multi-chapter ship i'd read it
Feels a tad rushed and out of character. Thumbs down.
Interesting...Could be built further though.
7283416
Would you give porn that kind of review? Unless it promised a story (which it really didn't) then the B+ level porn writing should mull you over.
7275490
That would be a horrible, but awesome gift to give to someone.
7294033 Yes, yes I would. The concept was amusing, the execution wasn't terrible. The pacing however felt off and the characters don't seem like themselves at all in my opinion. However the point of the 'review' was NOT to say 'This is a bad story!'. I gave the work a thumbs down. I ALWAYS give a reason if I do that. In this case the reason is because I feel the writing itself has flaws, not because I didn't like the plot or the content. I never give thumbs down to things I simply don't like the plot or content of. It isn't fair to the authors. Works should be judged on their own merits not simply because it doesn't match my taste.
7294138 I actually understood what you meant in your original post, as I felt the same way. While I have a strict don't-care-about-thumbs-down policy, I do appreciate it when a reader tells me what they felt was wrong with the story, as it helps me become a better author.
Instead of arguing against your comment, like I'm sure other authors would, I'm going to give my two cents as a reader.
The rushing I feel was based off of most one-night stands where the characters would immediately talk about this issue or one would leave the scene. Since this was a clopfic, that rushing wasn't needed since they were eventually going to have sex. Rushing towards sex leaves the reasoning behind it blurry and unfulfilling. The pacing could have been smoothed, and scenes like the masturbation could have been lengthier.
As for out of character, it could be explained away by hungover actions, but I feel that would ruin the story. Their short interactions gave little reasoning behind what they were thinking. Not to mention the idea of Twilight kicking books of the bed was extremely out of character, never wanting to harm her greatest passion. The epilogue was far more in character than the original chapter.
That's how I feel as a reader, but as the writer of this story, I wouldn't change a thing.
7294640 And the author hits the nail on the head PERFECTLY. The rest MIGHT be forgivable, but you had TWILIGHT SPARKLE ATTEMPT TO KICK BOOKS. Granted those 'books' were actually Spike, but it's still TWILIGHT SPARKLE. And that's pretty much how things START. It left a really foul taste and tainted how I looked at the rest of it. Thus, the thumbs down.
As for changing things, I never expect an author to change things, no matter how right I feel I am. I'm more a "Here is my opinion. Do with it what you will" kind of person. Authors should write what, and how, they want to write. Authors writing tripe simply to appease others is how we got things like 'Fifty Shades of Rape' and 'Sparkly Vampires Think They're Special'.
7297674 You. I like you.
7297806 You really shouldn't, I'm a terrible person. Just ask Mister Morden.
7297914 As long as you aren't a dog murderer then you're okay in my book.
This was nice. Could be longer and should probably work on how they talk to each other, with at the very least the works they would use.
Other then that, good stuff!
I really liked this. It was short and sweet.
A few things herw and there could be fixed
But id LOVE to see this continued
There is no way this story can't be good.
One story later:
Yup, was a nice story!
Big Spike is best Spike, and only purple alicorn is fitting for best Spike.
Say, did the memories came back or are they still trying?
will you make a squeal to this story were she is pregnant and in the end she gives birth?
is there a part 2 and nice work.