- Member Since 15th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 17th, 2022
Neon Czolgosz
"Violence for violence is the rule of beasts" - Barack Obama
Neon Czolgosz
Joined 15th Dec, 2011 ·
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that's a pretty swell cover.
I liked this as I like the wife's cooking, in that she can take a bunch of ingredients that I would never eat and turn them into something delicious.
thumbs up
I'm really conflicted about this!
I...
I don't understand.
I have to say this was certainly... different.
But I enjoyed it all the same.
I really have no idea how the hell I'm supposed to feel about this. I enjoyed reading it. I think? God but that was a ride.
Muh fetish.
Very well written. I feel the transition from aggressor to lover was a bit abrupt, but both parts were well written.
I love thoughtful and sensual rape. I love sad fluff romance. Never thought I'll see both in one fic, bit you've made it work!
My instincts are telling me to strangle Cadence but I'm conflicted.
7276307
I'm with this guy.
Now... I only read the second part because what comes before so is not my thing. But damn that was good. Could stand on its own really, with just a mention of what happened before, like I read it.
I'm... conflicted.
he’s always had his Flash
Such implications!
7277141 You mean only implying Cadance's torture of Chrysalis instead of directly showing it? That would also be interesting, but it wouldn't evoke as much emotion and conflict in readers over Cadance's actions.
I enjoyed this immensely. There was nothing distracting about the writing at all, and it hit a few of the things I find exciting. It was a little quick at the end, but still fit the character. In this world, Chrysalis is very much focused on efficiency and not getting hung up on emotions or desires. I can rationalize her quick turn as a realization of the benefits of helping Cadence, and her ability to completely drop emotional baggage. Yes, Cadence abused her. But now how can she use Cadence to fulfill her goals? Her only stated goal was to minimize changeling deaths. Cadence clearly has no problem working with changelings, especially if she has an informant. That makes Cadence a viable point for Pony/Changeling political relationships. Chrysalis's plan to help Cadence helps her to bring a level of security to the changelings. And so it would be best to be as close to Cadence as possible for this.
Basically, I really like your story and characterization. I always enjoy when something with actual merit is in the feature box. Good job!
I hope Chrysalis turns on her the moment she outlives her usefulness.
Odd that Cadance never out and out explicitly ranted on Chrysalis's lack of empathic intelligence, but that would have ruined the pacing.
Huh.
Good.
Holy fuck. I am... enamored? It was artistic how you pulled a bittersweet/happy ending from all of this. Well done.
And another writer to be blocked. If only fimfiction allowed me to hide this kind of terrible content entirely.
7277535
...I mean, I get it, but the whole thing was plastered in content warnings? About sexual violence and OOC characters? It's not exactly hard to avoid if you don't want to see disturbing, ethically-bankrupt content like this.
7277559 I don't want it on the same world I live in. But seeing as that's not gonna happen, I would much rather everyone that does anything with it is just removed from the world, or at the very least the feature box.
7277567
That's fair enough. Come to think, FIMfic could really do with an *extra* layer for the mature filter--a filter that lets you see mature fics, but removes any featuring sexual violence and the like. Or, at least have it added to the tags, in some way.
7277588 Would be preferable, yes.
Definitely the weirdest boner I have ever had.
Couldn't finish this, really not my kind of story.
Cadence is once again confirmed for worst princess.
I'm sure the story is great to those of you who finished it, but God, i could not take another sentence of pissy princess torture porn.
Best of luck with your next project Chuck.
This is exactly what us supposed to be in the feature box. Conflicting emotions and amazing characterisation along with the best portrayal of mutual understanding of
humanEquestrian nature. Two mighty beings coming to terms with each other in an absolutely realistic way. Chryssi's reaction and dealing with it at the end was fantastic and totally in character. In fact I don't see any of this as Ooc, anyone can be pushed to a limit and all actions had a reason, even when they did not, if that makes sense.Perfect mix of torture without going over the top and 3edgy5me. Excellent use of sex as a story builder over pure pandering. You straddled that line really well and I hope to get to your level someday.
I always like to say there are two types of maturity. The kind to deal with blatant "offensive" things such as explicit sex, swearing and violence. The second kind shows how one can process and understand mature themes such as those portrayed in this story. Obviously you can tell in the comments who is mature in this regard.
You definitely earned a follower and a watch. This was amazing and I cannot wait to see more from you.
I hate when I see someone suffering from Special Snow Flake Syndrome...
Love the story Chuck.
7277588 Really, fimfic needs the filters that derpirbooru uses. I have no idea how hard that would be to implement, but it would make the average reader a lot happier to just avoid entirely the tags they don't wish to see.
7277272 Yep, that's what I meant. I can't stomach the torture depiction, especially because Chuck has such a vivid style. Skimmed over it and immediately regretted lingering on a paragraph. *shudder* Those few glimpses were enough for me to make the second part work perfectly well, but of course without having been put through the emotional wringer first, the impact is a different one. The character study is great no matter what though.
I'm so confused, I mean, I normally don't read anything with a sex tag, but I felt drawn in by the description, at first I was just thinking it was going to be reading torture porn with rape as the predominant form of torture, but then I felt sad for Chrysalis, and even Cadence got pitty.
And then they fucked.
So, yeah, im conflicted emotionally.
7278001
Or they could turn on the mature filter. I mean if the tags and the trigger warnings in the description aren't enough to tell a person whats going to happen and they don't like it but they read it anyway, then what's the point of putting up new filters.
Chuck you gave them fair warning if they can't handle it then that's on them.
That cover art is exquisitely terrifying.
I usually hate stories this dark, but it is beautifully written, and while it could be said that cadance is acting very out of character, with the backstory you gave her and "Jade" I think it it perfectly within the realm of possibility for her to lash out like that. great work!
7278182
Thank you for liking this story, but please, don't do that.
I respect 7277600 Karrakaz hugely, they're at least as good a writer as I am, and if I'm not letting my fat ego get in the way, I'd say a better writer than me. Even though I write dark, edgelordy stuff in the MLP fandom, I can absolutely respect the point of view of people who don't want stuff like this promoted at the forefront of the biggest MLP fansite around.
There is a fat, shining line between works rated 'mature' because of happy fluffy sexual content, and works rated 'mature' because of sexual violence. Though I do include content warnings when I write works like this, readers should honestly have the same option to not even see sexual violence/underaged pony in the same way they have an option to see no mature content whatsoever. To be honest, given that the feature box frequently gets taken over by nothing but smut, I'm kinda partial to the idea of removing clop from the feature box altogether, or at least giving it a much heavier weighting so that only insanely popular clopfics can get in.
I got into MLP because ponies are awesome. Going 'kek u triggered' because someone doesn't want to see sexual violence in the featurebox is the least My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic attitude anyone could take, and I urge you to reconsider.
That might just be the worst thing I've ever read. You, my friend, deserve a like, fav, and follow.
Sequel. 'nuff said.
7278313 your right that he's a good writer and he should be able to avoid content like this if it really upsets him. You know what he shouldn't do tho? Make spiteful comments just to inform you your being blocked and imply he would be happier if you weren't writing. I hate scat and futa but you don't see me reading stuff with warnings and saying I'll block them. Worst I do is voice disappointment in a lack of lesbians.
7278361
I completely disagree. Sexual violence is a special level of 'squick' for a lot of people, and I can't fault them for taking the time out to say "I dislike this, I'm now avoiding future content from you because you write stuff like this," when it's something they can't choose to avoid entirely. Karrakaz was entirely polite, I've never discouraged criticism on any of my stories, and they have as much right to say 'This sucks and I'm avoiding your stuff,' as others do to say 'This rocks and I'm following you.'
7278374 we'll have to agree to disagree on that then (Fitting).
People like that who are so selfish and spiteful that they have to post "you suck and I'm blocking you" not for any way to help improve an author, but just to spite some one is low.
That's only mildly irritating tho, the part that's got me pissed of was when he practically told you to your face he'd be happy if you stopped writing. That is sick and low on a whole nother level, and I will NEVER respect anyone who's that self centered.
I don't normally read stuff like this, and I haven't yet, but with the praise given over the characterization and the general controversy between those who feel this story is "too explicit", I feel compelled to. This certainly has caught my eye.
7278400 it's really good! Just brace for, or skim past the rapes in the first half and get to the other side.
7278396
Honestly, I've slagged off people on this site waaaaay worse than Karrakaz did for writing shit stories. The people who downvoted my M/M clopfics because they had weiners touching? Those guys are assholes.
Karrakaz saying 'op plz delete' because he doesn't like my work for entirely legitimate reasons? I salute them, even if I don't regret writing this.
Exquisite story.
Rape... not into it at all, but the fact that the story itself, the characterization, the flow, is so damn good all makes up for it. Definitely going in the favs collection.
7278313
Honestly, I kind of wish there was an entirely separate feature box, maybe even on a different page, specifically for Mature rated fics. I feel like I sometimes miss out on good non-mature fics that I might otherwise enjoy because of all the pr0n taking over when the filter is turned off.
7278313 I appreciate your mature response (very rare theses times) but I believe your respect for Karrakaz is misplaced. His or her comment could have been sent as a PM but instead had go and announce it to the public which tells me allot about this individual, and I'm sure he or she is a great writer even though I haven't read their story's so I can't really judge them.
But this stuff here.
Ego much...
Anyway I said my piece I'm not going to drag this out any more than it has to be..
7277600 I want to believe that you're better than this.
7278750 Don't confuse loathing for ego. It's not just that he doesn't like to see it featured, it's that he wishes such things didn't exist at all. But failing that, he would like a way for it not to show up where he can see it.
On technical merits, this is fantastic work. The use of simile was expertly done, and the emotion was raw and palpable. But there's something about Cadance being this violent and predatory out of the blue that's a hard sell. I mean, good lord, some of these scenes, she gives Hannibal Lecter a run for his money with her sheer sociopathy. Doesn't make it any less of a riveting read, though.
Lot of pain wrote out here. Guess it's better out than in. Characters can be weirdly broken.