• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

StormLuna


Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.

Sequels1

T

This story is a sequel to Hidden Desires


Two weeks have passed since Twilight and Luna have become marefriends. Princess Luna had been depressed before that but her sudden change in behavior over the past two weeks has Celestia wondering what has been going on. After she discovered the truth, she reminded Luna about an old bet that caused problems but Twilight, in her effort to protect Luna from the bet, does something she has never done before, she confronts Celestia.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 36 )

This is a very interesting story to read keep up a good work update more on this story soon. I ready the other story for this image very interesting to see what happens next. :twilightsmile:

7276554 I simply forgot to change it to complete last night before I submitted it. It is complete but obviously there will be more to come in the next story! Love the profile pic by the way.

Sorry, Storm but I can't like this story like I did the previous one just because of that ending.

7277815 Thanks for the feedback on why you didn't like it and being civil about it.

7278168 Yeah, I try to be polite about things I don't like if possible.

why do I have feeling celeitia is going to go either easy on the two of them just force them to feed her cake or take care of all her paper work or be mean and kinky....

7280703 I don't want to spoil anything or I'd tell you.

Do I detect a hint of jealousy from Celestia?

Oh myyyyyy, so this is the sequel. :twilightsheepish:

>>Storm Luna could I possibly ask when you think you will be putting up a third part for this story, if you will that is?

7294889 The third part should be done by the end of the month. I had a majority of it done but then I decided to scrap most of it and go a different direction....that and I hit writer's block on the third one, which is why I did the VelvetSparkle story, to try to break it.

>>Stormluna hey that makes perfect sense take your time, i am sure everyone is fine with waiting a little while, I know I am.

7296055 Thanks for your patience. I appreciate it.

Might want to fix the description:

Princess Luna had been depressed before that but her sudden change in behavior over the past two weeks has her wondering what has been going on.

It sounds like Luna is wondering about her own behavior. The next sentence talks about finding why Luna is so happy, so you probably mean:

Princess Luna had been depressed before that but her sudden change in behavior over the past two weeks has Celestia wondering what has been going on.

7301976 Thanks for noticing that in my description, I appreciate that and I have corrected it to make it accurate.

Anything romantic involving Luna always makes me d'aww, but this felt kind of rushed from one plot point to another. Maybe take a little more time to develop what is going on. Also, the big reveal where Tia steps in was a little anticlimactic, given you had foreshadowed her disapproving and unleashing a full-on coronal mass ejection over the situation. Even her just pretending for a few moments to be all frowny-disapprove-face, then breaking out in laughter and smiles would bring that in line with the expectation you created and give the story a little more of a punch in the feels.


Also, and please don't take this harshly, it's just meant as a friendly FYI: canst does not mean can't; it's an older conjugation of can. So several times in this story you said the opposite of what you meant to. A reader can tell from the context what you meant, but it does jar the thought processes for a moment.

7605204 Thanks for letting me know about the canst thing. I have a feeling that a lot of us use it for can't when having Luna speak. I suppose I'm going to have to study up on the older English so I'll know how to properly have her speak when I have her speak that way.

The first story was rushed but this story seemed a little more rushed than the original.
Try and pace your story, get so drama (not too much) in the areas it needs, like Celestia's investigation and discovery and such.
Good story, I guess but you really need to work on pacing

Ok, liking it so far. I'm going on to the next. :rainbowlaugh:

Who knew making out in the open on a balcony was a bad idea. :rainbowhuh:

I wonder what Celestia's reaction will be when she finds out that Luna and Twilight are dating. :twilightoops: Her sister is dating her student. Uh... I'll go to the next chapter before I make things even more awkward here...

Aw, TwiLuna is so cute! Huzzah, the love has doubled!

:rainbowderp: Oh no... Tia CANNOT see this...

That's an interesting turn of events.

7277815

I added more to this story so you may want to check it out again. I think you'll like it and things from Twilight that you would NEVER expect happen.

7670667

I have altered what was the next and instead of being a separate story, it is the last four chapters of this one.

7276554

I am glad you have enjoyed it so far but 4 more chapters that were supposed to be the next story have been added to this one, one that gave what I consider a much turn of events and still with a happy ending.

I will be reading it soon.

With your stories about 'Tuna', I hope you might have read my Night Mares, it has some points like you made, but some different. I know I have commented on Hidden Desires & Hidden Desires 2: A Discovery, a Confrontation and Acceptance. But after re-reading them, they are still some very good stories.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

9710648

I will check out your work. I'm glad to know you liked these stories and I have plenty more! I write several genres but I don't do Conversion Bureau (just can't get into it) and I won't touch foalcon with a hundred mile long pole.

9710806
I understand about limiting your work. Me, as my home page says "I write romance with intimacies, not clop. " And yes it is predominately same sex (mostly because of the obvious disparity of the mare to stallion ratio).

I'm really starting to hate Celestia right now.

I think Celestia knows deep down that Twilight is more powerful than her, especially after all the villains she defeated...

Plus she is also the element of magic.

Glad everything worked out, but damn Celestia was a total B word in the middle of this story.

11792991

She was supposed to be and I wrote her to where she was stuck in the past, but was also jealous that her sister has a very special somepony.

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