• Member Since 29th May, 2016
  • offline last seen April 16th


"Fuck me, why is it so hard to actually write something and not immediately attempt to kill myself because of the shitty quality of it?"



This story now has a sequel!

After 1,000 years of watching life pass by as a statue, Discord finally breaks free from his stone prison and wants to wreak havoc. He just didn't count on a certain person being there.

Takes place during the Return To Harmony two-part premiere.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 124 )

"It's 'aight." -IGN

"It came with a free cake, so why not?" -GameInformer

"What's a video game?" -Polygon

10/10 I can highly recommend this restaurant to those of fine taste.

9/10, not enough B.F.G. usage.

The comments made me laugh more than the fic. At best, you got a vaguely confused smile on my part, though I was expecting a far worse Humans Are Superior story than was encountered here.

Good try?

Short yet funny :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: For once a displaced that is nice with Celestia.

“I think you've done enough, Doomguy.” Princess Celestia piped up, a small smirk appearing on her face. She walked up to him and Discord before she closed her eyes and Discord disappearing, the world returning to normal. “I thank you for your services, but I no longer require them.”

Hmm, why this sounds familiar?

She raised her hoof up for a hoofshake, but he instead bumped his fist against the frog of hers and wiggled his fingers as he slowly brought his hand back. Celestia blinked, but regained her composure and Doomguy disappeared, him being content that defeated another demon.

Oh, right :pinkiegasp::rainbowkiss:... Balalalala!

"Impossible to use more than one stick or axis at a time, 0/10" -Polygon

"You can't push a stick and a button at the same time." -Polygon

Short, sweet, and straight to the action.

Just like the game!

Why on earth would you entitle this "Rip and Tear" and then use that one doomed space marine?

7271467 Oh its not hard to figure out WHO was playing Doom my friend. It should be quite obvious.

This is a very good one-shot.

"The graphics where okay." -PC GAMING


Used to love watching that. Still makes me laugh to this day.

I laughed SO hard when Doom Guy gave Discord the smack down. I salute you!

The funny thing is, I was counting the days until this fic got made. It was only a matter of time.

Yep 10/10 exactly 100% DoomGuy

"My name is Garrus Vakarian and this is my rectum."
Sorry, couldn't resist.

This is basically what we all want to happen to villains; Doomguy punches the ever-loving [Buy some Apples!] out of them.

7.8/10, too much water.

This made my day thank you good sir...or madam

...What the? What did I just read?

Your story title just reminds me of this video.

Discord being the one to get wrecked for a change is always nice.

Wow! This was hilarious, but I want a more serious sequel. Like: dissy comes back for BLOODY revenge, raising tthe dead, and summoning demons from the darkest pits of tartarus! And doomguy coming back and ripping and tearing, his true purpose!! So, how bout it?

I already have something in mind ;)

She placed her horn inside of a hole, shoving it inside roughly, with no patience. The hole clenched tight on her horn as she penetrated it, her horn lighting up and about to burst.


I contemplated removing that part because I kind of forced it, but I decided to leave it in because it made me laugh whilst writing it.

What in tarturus did I just read?

7277602 this is the reason I dont read 1 chapter fics very often. But this one is good.

I identify as an attack helicopter. I plan on getting surgery to attach missile launchers, miniguns, and helicopter blades.

This was a very fun read. Thank you for writing it. Balalalala.

I want to imagine that every time he slams Discord, there's a different noise. A car horn, a screaming cat, a car crash, glass breaking, an air horn, and so on. :rainbowlaugh:

Wanderer D

7283468 Well, you should read the rules because now that you have an official warning, breaking further rules will not result in nice outcomes.

7282869 You see that "Report" button? That's for when we miss a rule-breaking story, comment, blog, etc. That's its purpose. This is a community with a LOT of users and thousands upon thousands of stories. You can contribute too instead of just complaining about it.

7283546 Yeah, but why is that a rule? I don't really get the reasoning behind that one, along with a few others.

Wanderer D

7283581 Because stories are not meant for non-chapters. As for why it's not allowed to post "chapters" that only contain "sequel yay!"... First of all, it's pointless, because the sequel appears right next to it, and a blog with the story tagged achieves the same result of letting followers of the story know without crowding the front page.

Meh. Reading rules is boring as shit, so I'm just going to skim through them and get the gist of them.

I see that Tay Zonday Reference!

I think you should make this a series. :pinkiehappy: Doom Guy brings the pain to all of Equestria's enemies. Trouble with the Yaks from Yakyakistan again? Oh Doom Guy~?
Rip and tear intensifies...

I wonder how it would be with tirek.

That is the first time I have ever seen a Moderator.

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