• Published 1st Jun 2016
  • 1,397 Views, 65 Comments

An Embarrasment In Three Acts - Void Knight



Someone has written a play about the Element's defeat of Corona. And the Elements are going to see it. Surely it will be a paragon of accuracy and storytelling, right? Right?

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Epilogue

This was not the single most awkward moment of Ditzy Doo’s life. That dubious honor still firmly fell to the day when her father had dragged her down to Castor Cut’s house, yelled at him in front of his wife and daughter for mounting her, and demanded that Castor pay to support Ditzy’s foal, all while she’d stood there like an overweight, derp-eyed lump.

But even so, being suddenly face to face with the actor that had been playing her in that evening’s embarrassment (still glamoured to look like a straight-eyed version of her, incidentally) had to fall somewhere in the top five. And judging from the look on Mocking Jay’s face, she was finding it just as awkward.

Dinky, on the other hand, seemed to be taking it perfectly in stride. “Miss Jay?” she asked, levitating up her program and a quill. “Can I have your autograph, please?”

Mocking Jay glanced down. “Heh. Sure. Dinky Doo, I presume?”

“Yes ma’am,” replied Dinky, vibrating in place slightly.

Mocking Jay quickly scratched her signature across the program, then returned it to Dinky.

“Thank you for the autograph, and for doing such an awesome job playing my mom!” bubbled Dinky.

“You’re welcome,” said Mocking Jay pleasantly, but her eyes were shooting a look of confusion at Ditzy over Dinky’s head.
Ditzy wingshrugged and then addressed Dinky.

“Come on, muffin. I’m sure there’s lots of ponies who want to talk to Miss Jay. And Miss Jay, you really did do a good job tonight. Thank you.”

Ditzy shot a broad and genuine smile at Mocking Jay, hoping that she’d believe her. In the first place, it was just silly to blame Mocking Jay for any of this. She was just an actress playing a role, and doing an incredibly good job of it. And even Double Dash couldn’t really be blamed for the changes to Ditzy’s portrayal, not when it was so clear that she was at least trying to make Ditzy look better. Now, Ditzy’s friends might have more legitimate reason to complain, but again it wasn’t Mocking Jay’s fault that Double Dash had paired Lyra and Trixie, or made Raindrops a stallion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Blossom!” said Cheerilee cheerily. “Fancy running into you here! Last I heard you were in Manehatten, still dancing on tables.”

“That was a very long time ago, Cheers” replied Cherry Blossom with a grin. “I’m a changed mare now. Respectable and everything.”

“Of course you are,” replied Cheerilee. “Still, what are the odds that you’d get drafted to play me, and in a play that I’d come to see, no less?”

“I know, right? You think the Princess had anything to do with this?”

“Who knows? replied Cheerilee with a shrug. “These yours?” she said, gesturing to the two foals tucked up against Cherry Blossom’s flanks.

“Yes,” said Cherry Blossom with a proud smile. With a nod of her head she indicated the one on her left, an earth pony colt with a bright orange coat and a green mane of Pinkie-esque curliness. “This is Squash Blossom, and this one is Rose Blossom,” she continued, indicating the unicorn filly on her right, who indeed had a rose-hued coat and a dark red mane. And also…

“Oh wow, she’s got her mark already!” Cheerilee was fully aware that she was gushing, but she couldn’t really help it. After all, her mark was for seeing people grow and blossom, and finding your talent was always one of the biggest steps along that road.

“So what’s it for?” she asked, gesturing with one hoof towards the half-full wineglass on Rose Blossom’s flank.

“Criticism, essentially,” said Rose Blossom in a surprisingly melodious voice. “When I read a book or see a play or eat a meal, my talent helps me break it down into its individual parts and understand how those parts interact with each other.” She smiled. “Father’s taken to using me as one of his main pre-readers.”

“Yeah, speaking of which, where is Oyster Bay?” asked Cheerilee. “I’d have thought he’d be here to see your debut.”

“Bay Bloom came down with something earlier today. Probably just a really nasty case of feather flu, but Oyster’s staying at home with him just in case.”

“Wait a minute,” interjected Raindrops. “You know Oyster Bay? The Oyster Bay, the novelist?”

“My husband,” said Cherry Blossom with a smirk.

“Ermalu-” Raindrops began to gush, before freezing in mid-exclamation and shooting an embarrassed glance at Princess Luna, who was standing nearby talking to a pony in a formal suit.

“You have got to introduce me!” squealed Raindrops, resuming her gush.

“Hey, I know that guy!” chimed in… Dinky? “He wrote Upon The Wine-Dark Seas, right? Why are you all staring at me like that?”

“Muffin,” said Ditzy in a carefully level tone, both eyes fixed on Ditzy, “Where did you get one of Oyster Bay’s books?”

“Pipsqueak,” replied Ditzy confusedly. “Where else would I get a pirate story?”

Cheerilee stared at Dinky with amazement. Luna’s tail, she’s not being coy. She read one of the steamiest erotic novels on the market without ever realizing that it was an erotic novel, and not just another adventure story like Daring Do or Treasure Island.

Cheerilee began to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation. A moment later, Ditzy joined in the laughter, comprehension blossoming in her eyes. Then several other ponies began to laugh simply out of desire to join in the laughter. Cheerilee felt a warm tingle in her chest.

This is why we fought Corona. This here. A filly’s innocence, the laughter of friends, this is Harmony.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It wasn’t until after Ditzy and Dinky had made their way home and the former had tucked her filly into bed that the latter asked the question that had been on her mind all evening.

“Momma?”

“Yes, muffin?” replied Ditzy Doo, with a hint of trepidation. That tone of voice could only mean that the question she’d been dreading all evening was coming up.

“Do you wish I actually was your little sister?”

Ditzy forced her eyes into focus, meeting her filly’s gaze.

“No, not in the slightest. I’ve told you before, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me. You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re hard-working, you’re smart… you’re my Dinky, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I wish I hadn’t had to hurt Amethyst Star and May Belle to be your mother, but I’ve never regretted being a mom.”

An internal voice reminded Ditzy that she’d once planned to give up Dinky for adoption and listed out all the times she’d been tired or stressed and wished that Dinky had never come along. The rest of her bucked those thoughts in the barrel and told them to shut up. She was only equine, she was allowed the occasional moment of weakness. And if she was stretching the truth just a tad for her muffin, so what? She was Kindness, not Honesty. She could bend the truth to spare pain.

A smile finally broke out on Dinky’s face. “I’m glad you’re my momma. You’re the best momma in the world.”

And then there was nothing more to be said that could not be better conveyed by a long hug and a good-night kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bon Bon was already feeling grumpy, even before the reporters showed up. Even if she knew it was nonsense, having to watch the love of her life trot across the stage on another mare’s flank, punctuated by frequent and sloppy Prenching, was not her idea of an enjoyable evening. And to make matters worse, the idea had chased her into the nightscape, resulting in a chain of nightmares where she had caught Lyra in bed with first Trixie, then Big Mac, and finally Corona. And then Lyra had turned into that disgusting shark-hybrid thing from their visit to Andalantis, and tried to eat her.

That was when Bon Bon had woken up. She had just laid in bed for a couple of minutes, holding Lyra close to her, before finally making herself roll out of bed and start about the day’s work. Candy-making had calmed her a bit, slathering her raw nerves with a poultice of molten sugar and chopped nuts, but all that was soon to be shattered. No sooner had Bon Bon flipped the sign to “Open” then a blond unicorn pony trotted into the shop, levitating a sheaf of paper and an acid-green quill that matched the one emblazoned on her flanks.

“Madam Bon Bon?” asked the unicorn in a faux-sincere tone, though her smile was one more usually found on sharks.

“Yes.” replied Bon Bon.

“Pen Prick, with the Equestrian Times. Would you care to comment on the relationship between you and Dames Heartstrings and Lulamoon? Is it a three-way…”

“What?” exploded Bon Bon, cutting across Pen Prick’s questions,

“Has there been a break-up between Dames Heartstrings and Lulamoon? Or you and Dame Heartstrings? Or… did you not know about the relationship?”

Bon Bon’s hoof came down in a stomp. “There is no relationship! Lyra and I are together, and she wouldn’t cheat on me! She’s the Element Of Loyalty, for Luna’s sake! Not to mention that Trixie turns pale as soon as anyone even starts talking about sex! And if you or Double Dash had bothered to do one bucking minute of research, you could have found that out! Now, unless you’re going to buy something, get out!”

Pen Prick raised her eyebrows. “Hmm… very interesting. I see I’ll have to talk to others to get the rest of the story. Now where is Dame Heartstrings, by the way?”

“None of your business.”

“Ah, but it is my business. I’m a reporter. This is my business just as much as candy is yours. And I think I’ll have some sour lemon drops. I like sour lemon drops.”

Bon Bon quickly wrapped up the order and accepted the reporter’s jangles, after which Pen Prick trotted out the door.

Bon Bon let out a long breath. And then the door opened again and a dark blue unicorn stallion with a newspaper cutie mark trotted in, likewise levitating a quill and ink.

Bon Bon groaned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Boss, you might want to take a look at this,” said Pokey almost as soon as Trixie made her way into the office. “Your hat spat it out a bit ago.”

Trixie looked. It appeared to be an article clipped from a newspaper.

LONGEST NIGHT LONGEST DAY DEBUTS by Jade Vase.

All Canterlot’s highest society, the Knights of Harmony, and even the Princess herself, gathered in eagerness at no less a venue than La Commedia Della Luna last night, to witness the premiere of renowned playwright Double Dash’s much-anticipated latest work, a theatrical interpretation of the defeat of the Tyrant Sun by the Elements of Harmony. Anticipation was feverish and speculation ran rampant. Would Longest Night, Longest Day live up to its creator’s reputation and the deep potential of the subject matter?

We were not to be disappointed. The play began as a side-splitting comedy of errors as Representative Lulamoon, exiled to Ponyville for dumping an ice palace’s worth of meltwater onto Princess Luna, had to struggle with the numerous characters and eccentricities of that locale. Her misadventures had the audience rolling in the aisles with laughter, and the romance between Representative Lulamoon and Dame Heartstrings was enough to warm every heart.

And then Corona entered the scene and the fun and games stopped. Ivory Mask, in her portrayal as the Tyrant Sun, was without a doubt the keystone that held the second half of the play together. The charismatic actress brought her role to life, and reminded us yet again why it is we fear the Sun. The second half of the play was as nerve-wracking as the first half had been side-splitting, and the climactic battle between the Elements and the Tyrant Sun had the audience on the edge of their seats.

Ivory Mask’s performance likewise brought to life the already deep emphasis placed on the shattered bond between Princess Luna and her mad sister. Our readers may recall that it was that same emphasis that saw Octavia Philharmonica’s interpretation of The Symphony For Moon And Sun win Her Majesty’s full endorsement, and Double Dash followed in the Court Musician’s steps in this regard. To see the Princess begging her sister to turn back from her madness, and watch Corona spurn the Princess’s offer of redemption, is something no pony of feeling can experience without tears.

In short, Longest Night Longest Day has proved a worthy continuation of Double Dash’s ouvere, and I can wholeheartedly recommend it to my readers. Other playhouses are already making plans to stage productions of Longest Night Longest Day, both in Canterlot and elsewhere.

“Dear Luna,” said Trixie in amazement. “If this is the tone of the reviews, we’ll never be rid of that play. Not unless Luna sat on it, and she hates doing that sort of thing. Hey, there’s a note too.”

My faithful student,

Please gather your friends together at the Residency this evening. One of me will be coming down just after moonrise to discuss what is to be done about Longest Night, Longest Day. While I have obtained some information, I have as of yet taken no official stance on or recognition of this play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy’s cottage looked like an anthill that somepony had stepped on. Birds and beasts of every size were roaming the grounds or perched on every tree. As Ditzy approached, a falcon of some kind flew up to her and let out a challenging screech.

“It’s me, Ditzy Doo. I come out here almost every day, remember?” she said, making a guess at what the bird wanted.

The two-headed dog, Ditzy thought his name was Schwartz-Liebe, padded up and sniffed her a couple of times.

“Woof?” barked one head.

“Woof,” replied the other firmly.

“Woof,” agreed the first head, bobbing up and down. Schwartz-Liebe addressed a couple of barks to the rest of the animals crowding the field, and then moved out of Ditzy’s way. She trotted up to the cottage, and, after the bear stepped aside from blocking the front door, trotted in.

“Um…” said Ditzy slowly. “Flutters, why are your animal friends acting like the Night Guard?”

“Umm…” said Fluttershy, before taking a deep breath. “Somereporterscamebyandtheywerereallyloudandscaryandsomyfriendsmadethemgoaway!” she said in one prolonged squeak.

“I see…” said Ditzy slowly. Inside she was gritting her teeth. This was going to be bad. Any reporter who would come out here to harass Fluttershy in the first place would certainly have no compunction about castigating her for keeping “dangerous beasts”.

“They didn’t actually hurt anypony, did they?” she asked.

“No, just looked really scary. Except for that one unicorn, Schwartz-Liebe took a bite at her after she hit him.”

“Ok,” said Ditzy. “Look, I’ll go talk to the mayor and tell her what actually happened before those sun-heads get the idea to try and have you arrested for having overprotective animal friends.”

“Thank you,” said Fluttershy, looking relieved.

Ditzy trotted off, unusually worried. She had work to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As it turned out, Ditzy’s report was the first Mayor Scrolls had heard of the incident. She made a note of Ditzy’s explanation in case the reporter tried to bring the law into this, but there was nothing to be done at the moment.

A few hours later, the Elements of Harmony were gathered together in The Official Residency Of The Representative Of The Night Court Of Luna To Ponyville. Just after moonrise, there was a knock on the door. Trixie pulled it open, and a dark blue pegasus stepped through and with a shimmer of magic, turned into Princess Luna.

“Greetings, my Knights,” said the Princess with a small smile, “and thank you all for coming. I presume Trixie has already shown you all Jade Vase’s review of Longest Night, Longest Day?”

There was a round of confirmations, and Princess Luna continued. “Jade Vase’s is one of the most read, but the other reviews tend to mostly fall along the same lines. There are those who do know enough about you to lambast Double Dash for the inaccuracies, but they are in the minority. And as Trixie explained earlier, Double Dash went to the trouble of making it clear that his play is only based on your exploits, not an actual recounting of them. In short, this play is not going to go away anytime soon, not without… extraordinary measures.”

“Extraordinary measures?” asked Lyra.

Princess Luna looked oddly embarrassed. “I could command La Commedia Della Luna to cancel its performances of Longest Night, Longest Day. I own the theater outright, and I certainly have more than enough bits to refund all the tickets. If I did that, it would kill Longest Night, Longest Day. I don’t think that there is a theater in Equestria that would put on a play I had so publicly condemned, not after what I’ve done to the Night Court.”

Ditzy completed the thought. “But you don’t want to do it. You hate using your power like that.”

“Exactly,” said the Princess. “For myself, I have little to complain of. Jade Vase was right, that play did a better job of capturing the truth about Corona and my relationship than any I’ve seen in a long while. And I’ve learned to accept my subjects’ adoration, even if I do not deserve it. But I know that some of you have more legitimate grounds for complaint, so I felt I ought to ask your opinions on the matter.”

Ditzy spoke up. “I can’t complain about my portrayal either. It would be just silly to complain about Double Dash making Dinky my sister when it was so obviously meant as an attempt to make me look better. Likewise, making me a Shadowbolt was clearly supposed to be an improvement. I can’t complain if Double Dash tried to make me look better, even if I know I don’t deserve it either.”

“Same here,” chimed in Cheerilee. “I can take a joke.”

“As for me,” said Trixie, “the only part of my portrayal that I really objected to was putting me in a romantic relationship with Lyra, and I don’t think killing the play will really help there. The rumor’s already out there, and squelching the play in such an over-the-top fashion will only lend it more credibility, at least among the kind of people who’d believe it in the first place.”

Princess Luna glanced at Lyra, who looked like someone was trying to make her eat one of Honeydew’s creations. “I am afraid that Trixie may very well be right. While nopony would dare put on a play that I have publicly condemned, there are still all too many among high society that would eagerly pass on gossip. And many will take any attempt to suppress the rumors as confirmation of their truth.”

“So there’s no way to get rid of those rumors that I’m cheating on my Bon Bon, or that me and Trixie were a couple and now I’m cheating on Trixie with Bon Bon?” said Lyra. Ditzy winced internally at the resignation in Lyra’s voice.

Luna responded. “The best way to get rid of this sort of rumor is, unfortunately, simply waiting it out. Since there is obviously no actual evidence to back up the rumors they should be eclipsed by some other tidbit of gossip shortly, provided of course that we do nothing to draw attention to them.”

“Same for the rumors about Fluttershy, I suppose,” said Carrot Top, a rare note of bitterness in the carrot farmer’s voice.

Raindrops took several deep breaths before finally speaking. “I don’t like us being misrepresented, but I’m used to dealing with things that annoy me. I’m not going to insist that you throw your weight around just because I’ve got one more thing to be angry about. But thank you very much for the offer, Princess.”

“Sounds like we have an agreement,” summed up Trixie.

“Very well then, my Knights,” said Princess Luna. As she left, she turned and addressed one last remark over her shoulder. “But I think I shall commission somepony to write a more accurate account of these events.”

Thank you,” the Elements responded in near-unison.

Author's Note:

A big thank you to RainbowDoubleDash and Talon and Thorn for their comments and feedback, which have tremendously improved this story.

Comments ( 19 )

Hmm. I wonder what someone else :trollestia: will think of it down the line.

Well this fic was a barrel of laughs. Now I just hope this story will be considered cannon. Because this kind of funny weirdness could work in almost any universe. :rainbowlaugh:

Right, I shall have this canonized, then, since I don't see anything troubling about it.

Any particular thoughts on when you want it placed within Season 2?

7632224

I was thinking late Autumn, between the comedic tone and the fact that it's essentially a (messed-up) recap episode for the Season 1 premier. Could also work in Winter, with the hints of Corona's presence.

7633219
I'll put it in Winter, then.

You have a formatting error where Fluttershy talks to Ditzy Doo.
_________________

All-in-all, not a bad story. And was pretty funny in a lot of places. Although a part of me wants them to find out who Double Dash is, just to see what they'd do.

7943567 We've actually toyed with Carrot Top actually being a sort of shortened name, like how Pinkie's full name is Pinkamina Diane Pie. Toppington is what's the more generally aggreed family name. Grandma Sprout was on her mother's side of the family...possibly? Basically the idea is that non nobles don't really use family names on a regular basis.

I was going to establish CT's family in a fic set in Fillydelphia but I just couldn't find a decent plot hook beyond 'Carrot Top goes to visit her family and take the train with Ditzy' so it hasn't gotten anywhere.

I'm considering a Yu-gi-oh! parody where CT used to be a champion TCG player at some sci-fi themed game (with a silly nickname, maybe 'Top Deck', because it's funny).

7943658

No, that was actually on purpose, to represent the whole thing coming out in one squeak.

7944923

No. I was talking about this type of formating problem. Before the run-on squeak. I know the squeak was intentional, it's a common writing technique for a person/pony/sapient saying something all at once. I was instead talking about the part just prior to that were the words were massively spaced.

7944932

That's a pretty common glitch, actually. Fimfic is set up to try and make every line equal in length, and really long strings can make that feature act up.

7945604

It's a rather annoying feature XD. I thought Fimfic fixed that feature last year?

It sounds like the playwright decided that there were too many characters in the play already and just decided to squash Bon Bon's character into Trixie.

Xanadu the Musical had a 4th wall breaking moment where they acknowledged that a certain character wouldn't be appearing during a scene due to double casting.

D48

That was very good, although I do have one issue with the ending. Luna really needed to tell the girls that she was going to tell the world that Double Dash folded Bon Bon's role into Trixie in order to streamline the play (not a bad idea from a writing perspective tbh) in order to squash the annoying rumors this is going to create. It naturally isn't a perfect solution and they'll still have to deal with jokes about it, but there won't be any serious problems since everyone with a brain will see that the explanation makes perfect sense and trust it, especially considering the source. I usually don't advocate significant editing of published stories, but in this case it would only require adding a sentence or two and it closes a glaring issue seamlessly so I think it is probably worth doing.

Thinking about it, there are VERY few with access to the info needed to write it. Of those few .... Luna wrote it!?

Some ways, just doesn't make sense. Other ways, she's the only one who could

Very good. I am curious as to who wrote it. Will that ever be addressed/revealed?

An entertaining read, though the ending leaves things unsatisfactorily unresolved. There are sequel hooks, and then there's shrugging and saying "I guess we'll jist have to live with it." There are too many questions about Double Dash's motives and sources for that ending to work.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I want more, but the way you made me want more could've been better.

“You’re welcome,” said Mocking Jay pleasantly, but her eyes were shooting a look of confusion at Ditzy over Dinky’s head.
Ditzy wingshrugged and then addressed Dinky.

“You’re welcome,” said Mocking Jay pleasantly, but her eyes were shooting a look of confusion at Ditzy over Dinky’s head. Ditzy wingshrugged and then addressed Dinky.
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8597895
Agree with this. This isn't a bad fic by any means. But it does feel like there should be a sequel, or more to give what's here a finish. Rather than a hook that's not touched upon even a year after this came out.

As everyone else has generally pointed out, this was left off open-ended, and not in a good way. There should at least be a clue to who Double Dash is.

9796821
When you say that ponies don't have last names, are you referring to in the show, or just the Lunaverse? And if you are including the show, you do realize that there's a difference between a last name and a surname, right? I mean, here in America, the last name is the surname. But in Japan, the first and last names are interchangeable depending on who's addressing who. When addressing the general public, the Japanese use their surname as their first name, and their personal name as their last name. The personal name comes first when it's close friends or family. The point is that if your name is composed of more than one word, then you have a last name.

As for characters with 3 names, what does that have to do with anything? And FYI, there are 4 characters with 3 names, the 4th being "Maudalina Daisy Pie".

I agree that adding thing to canonical names can break immersion IF it affects the plot. But you contradict yourself if you accept Lunaverse names but not fan additions to canonical names. Fluttering Posey for example, as well as Octavia Philharmonica. It's not the first time the characters have been given last names, but they are names primarily exclusive to the Lunaverse. More commonly, Octavia's last name is Melody, but that's a fanon name. And what about Trixie's last name of Lulamoon? That's a fanon name. As for their names being "physical traits or personal trait or skills", that's only if you don't take cartoon logic into account (which, for the sake of argument, is the case). And some of the names aren't prophetic at all, but just the result of the equivalent of reading the horoscope. People will often find personal meaning to them, but are actually so broad that they can apply to anyone. Names like Rarity and Sweetie Belle is only vaguely prophetic, but could apply to multiple characters because of how vague they are. And then there are names like Pipsqueak, which have absolutely no predictive power or physical traits behind it. In other words, Pinkie Pie is NOT the only exception to the rule. And what about Cheerilee? Her Lunaverse full name Black Cherry Lee, which also would be an exception to the rule. Though it is a themed name, it's a broken prophecy. Or Babs Seed, whose name isn't apple specific

As for "Earth Pony Thematic Naming",...
Fluttering Posey, Twilight Sparkle, Prince Blueblood, Bee Bop, 4 ponies off the top of my head that follow the Earth Pony naming style. None of them are earth ponies. A pegasus and 3 unicorns. And taking only Twilight Sparkle fits that style of naming (if you count family themes). But then you can add Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst, Luna and Celestia, Cadence/Mi Amore Cadenza (her ancestor being name Amore), and Cup Cake (being born with the name Chiffon Swirl, proving that surnames are a thing, even if the name isn't inherited). And those are just a few off the top of my head.
As for Earth Ponies that break the thematic naming...
In the Lunaverse, there's Pinkie Pie and Pipsqueak off the top of my head. And in the show, after removing Pinkie (because of the pie siblings), there's Cheerilee.

And in the real world, people can legally change their last names, meaning that you are not bound to the name you were given at birth, even making real world surnames optional. Have you heard of Mr. T? Do you know what his real name is? It's Mr. T, which is his legal name, meaning that his surname is literally just "T".

Perhaps I'm viewing the thematic naming in a different way than you are, because I'm basing it off of the assumption of family names having themes. But I have to ask, how is "Toppington" any different than "Pinkamina"? Is it because one is canon and one is not? Is it because one's a first name and one's a last name (not a surname)?

Also, the only difference between human surnames and pony thematic names is how they chose to structure their names. In fact, do you even know how humans got surnames? Because surnames came to be as a form of thematic naming to describe a family trait or business. For example, my surname derives from the words "willow" and "leigh". So based on that, I can assume that my family originated as farmers who lived off the forest, or something along those lines.

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