Luna and the Dovakiin (Poem)

by Okhlahoma Beat-Down

Celestia and The Jarl of Whiterun

Celestia frowned at the current Economy
it was although money itself had become an enemy.
Her colourful mane flapping with no breeze,
she put her hoof to her nose, preventing a sneeze.

She trotted down a Canterlot corridor,
thinking about her favorite Harry Plodder house, Griffindor.
She entered her Throne room with both large chairs
and was greeted by a monkey with very few hairs.

"Who art thou?" She asked in fear.
"And what are you doing on my throne, my dear?
The man let out a shocked gasp,
and reached for his warhammer, which was within his grasp.

"How can you speak? Answer fair mare!"
Cried Whiterun Jarl Balgruuf, as talking horses were rare!
In his life in Skyrim, living through all hard,
he had never seen a pony with a voice like a Bard.

Celestia blushed, apparently she was fair,
she simply smiled, showing off her hair.
"We were born like this, all ponies, see.
And no, we do not simply drink, poop, and pee."

She led him through Canterlot,
Showing him each guard to each ink blot.
"My guards, they are finer warriors than me.
And fortunately for them, they protection on their knees."

She continued to tell him boring facts,
he heard the beebee of a machine sending fax.
"Who are you, liar, a Daedra Mage?
Show yourself, Sheograth, and face my blade?"

Celestia moved her head in confusion, her face not sure enough,
"What is a Daedra," she asked with a cough,
"And who is this Sheograth you speak of in a voice like death?"
Balgruuf threw his axe at the princess. "Don't speak, temptress!"

He leapt out the window, expecting guards to stop his fall,
with that thought he gave his all.
Gravity was not Imperial, though, it favoured Stormcloaks.
And with that final note, Jarl Balgruuf did croak.

Comments

[Poptard]

Royal guards don't have knee protection. Why, I bet they used to all be Wonderbolts!