Warframe/Equestria AU
After being shot down and losing his squad on a raid on a Grineer ship, Ankyas Ferias, also known as Volt, was pulled into Equestria by a summoning spell by Twilight. Now he must learn how to fit in this strange new world, but as he learns about Equestria, sinister forces plan its downfall and when a life is threatened, he will make his choice, and become the hero Equestria needs....
My first crack at a HiE fic, so please cut me some slack!
I do not own Warframe or MLP, those belong to their respective owners
Nyx belongs to Pen Stroke (Don't confuse her with the Warframe of the same name
)
Rated teen for some mild language and gore
Constructive criticism and positive feedback are welcome, and if you don't like it, please explain before downvoting
Ooooo dis gun be good
7252501 Already working on Chapter 2!
This is brilliant! Have a like and Fav!
Warframes are not humans...
7258607 The frames aren't, but the Tenno that pilot them are
7258633 Hmm... Than the Grineer is a different faction?
Either way, I prefer to think of Tenno as an actual species (as is implied) of ninja badasses.
But that's just me.
7259033 Yep, the Grineer are a different faction
7259250 Figures...
Not bad like the premise just few points
Slow down, flesh out the world and characters more. Writing isn't a race slower is often times better.
Second Dream Spoilers Warframes are puppets, Void children control them through transference. Together that is what a Tenno.
Rainbow Dash flying off when someone is getting attacked by a pack of Timberwolves, I don't buy it, I see her first attempting to help. Only leaving when ordered too, to go get additional aid, and only after arguing about how she's got it under control.
I do like the idea of your story though, and it's not bad so far these are just somethings to think about.
(PS; I really like that you added in lil Nyx.)
Karak only? hmm, smells like a rookie!!!
From what I've read so far though, I'm guessing the four revives and the Second Dream do not fit your headcannon then, right? (not an issue, just making sure I get the settings right)
hmm, well, first things first, I'm not sure I buy Timberwolves being a threat to a Warframe. Mostly because wooden teeth don't work so well on energy shields and advanced metal alloys. I'm guessing you don't want him to be overpowered or a Gary Stu, which is fine, but there are much stronger opponents in MLP, no need to have him struggle against some of the weaker ones.
Also, Rd turning her back on someone in trouble? That's very OOC for the element of Loyalty.
Same,I would have expected stubborn Applajeck to go with Volt to save the CMC, not sit and wait for someone else to do it.
To be honest though, this encounter felt... forced. Like, the OC introduced being a figher, he HAS to get in a scene where he risks his lafe to save the ponies, hence getting their adoration, and showing his skills. I've read this happen so many times and it feels cliched by now (to me at least)
EDIT: also, he starts off thinking "I'm not sure if I can even take these things down!", but then proceed to do so anyways. Feels strange to read. how about after he kills the first one, he thinks along the lines of "What do ya know? I CAN take those down!".
Also, an idea I just had to explainwhy AJ wasn't there to help him rscue the CMC. Volt has a spd ability, that lets him run much faster, and also strike much faster (I also have an enhancement so he zaps any enemy close by just running around them). With that he can simply get a headstart and use it to defeat the wolves before the ponies can arrive.
Plus, the speed boost will definitely make RD want to challenge him...
7311966 Just redid that bit with Rainbow, and while the Timberwolves may not be able to get through Volt's armor, their impacts can hurt him and reopen his wounds
Well, it's certainly better. Now the MC does feel more like he comes from a race of supersoldiers rather than some random dude with shiny gear, and his relation with Rainbow now feels more real.
Also, I realise, my favourite line in the fic so far : "But when he’s not doing that, he’s usually a nice guy." Pure awesome there!
7473972 Yeah, I decided to go over it and make a few changes, glad you like em!
I've always wanted to try this crossover, but I never felt the right inspiration for it... I'll totally read it when I have some time!
Hmmm, makes me want to do one with Frost now, since he is my favorite frame :P Well, Frost Prime is my favorite anyways. ...I should probably sell all the parts I have for frost prime...sure they are worth a bundle now.
Ouch.
7626927 Believe me, I didn't want to, but I just ran out of ideas of how to continue the next chapter and just couldn't really get the inspiration for writing it going