• Published 26th May 2016
  • 4,811 Views, 219 Comments

Road to fame: My new life... As a gryphon. - lord indisar

To whom it may concern, I leave the story of my life: the story of Retribution-Lord Anninnicus Ravenfury, Captain of the Army of Retribution, and survivor of the Great War. I should first start by saying I wasn't even born as a gryphon...

  • ...

Wait, I'm in Equestria?!

I was a child.

I. Was. A. Child.

Let me explain. I get hit by a car, and suddenly, I'm not a human any more, and I get aged down 19 years. You've got to be kidding me.

Well, I snapped out of my terror quite easily, and I was more or less, just concerned. Wait, I'm not out of the gutter yet, what if she's really going to take me somewhere and kill me, or do other horrible things?

Get yourself together man, it's a fucking horse, my brain told me. You really think the devil is sending a horse to collect you and bring you to Hell?

So now that I thought about it, I decided that it was stupid. Can't blame me though, I watched all the Final Destination films, and watched a let's play of Until Dawn, courtesy of Markiplier. I get paranoid when things go seriously wrong. And right now, things were going seriously wrong! So anything, in my point of view, was possible. That includes the type of Hell that disguises itself as Heaven, and just when you think you've got everything you could ever ask for, Wham! Fire! Wham! You're engulfed in burning acid! Wham! You fall through a hole that opens up in the ground, and you fall, and fall, and fall, forever and ever and ever! Wham... Okay, I should stop.

Still though, I bet that someones Hell out there is they arrive at the gates of heaven, they enter the hall of eternal fortune, and the freaking devil is sitting in God's seat, the ground opens up, and fire spews out the floor, burning them for all eternity! On the other hand, no one deserves to be tricked like that. Except maybe Hitler. It would be pretty fitting for him to believe he's gone to heaven for his actions, and then he gets the old switcheroo. Actually, no, that's pretty mean. Even for Hitler.

Anyways... Yeah, I was pretty stupid to think this white, multi-coloured unicorn was my harbinger of eternal torture. Or was I? Shut up brain, I'm not going to be tortured to undeath. At least, not by a damn horse.

Well, the Shengeki no Kyojin( that is, translated literally, advancing giants) pony picked me up in some sort of levitation magic, and placed me on its back. I was pretty surprised that I was being picked up like that though, you'd think that kind of thing would be something only........

Wait. I get hit by a car, get turned into a kid of a quadruped species, get dropped off in the middle of no where, practically near a forest, and I get found by a talking unicorn, and I get picked up by said unicorn.... With levitation magic? Not only that, but... I paused to bite my shoulder with my beak(you know, for science!). Ouch..... Not only that, but it's clearly not a dream?

I better still be a boy... But, besides that, there was only one explanation. Or I could be totally wrong, but this seemed like, 90% likely: I died, and for some reason, I got sent to Equestria, and now I'm going to live my life as a My Little Pony character.

Or maybe I was originally a gryphon, and I had a dream that felt like 19 years long, and I lived a real, unphased lifespan in the time it took for a night to pass. Highly unlikely, because I'm sure dreams have a limited amount of time dilation. Those were 19 full years. 365 days each. I'm also sure I'd have a parent nearby if that was the case.

Anyways, My Little freaking Pony. My favorite tv show. Well. Remarkable. But I didn't even get to be one of my OCs... Darn it. I bet I'm in the body of some other guys OC, and I stole his spot, and he's going to get one of mine. Oh that's going to be so un-fucking fair, half my OCs are just short of Mary Sues. And I get reborn as a little gryphon with, so far, no special abilities that I know of.

Actually, I pity the fool who gets stuck with Nixran. Sure, he's half freaking dragon, but I don't think that's worth being (explicitly, I made the story!) born a 5 months walk away from the nearest Equestrian town.

And Little Cloud.... Gets driven from his home, forcefully, non stop( and I absolutely mean no stopping at all, no sleep, no rest.) for a week straight. And since he's a changeling whoever becomes him has to learn on his own, how to shift forms. Or starve to death.... And his entire lifeline kind of depends on running for another week and getting to Ponyville ( or I'd be completely lost, and I'd be unable to rely on his backstory.)

With most of the others, ponies would immediatly figure out they're dealing with the wrong pony from the slightest change in attitude for personality..... Yeah...

Okay, I'm glad I'm not any of my OCs. That would be a death sentence....

So I'm a little gryphon, riding on a ponies back, to... Ponyville? I don't remember the Everfree Forest having a mountain near it in the show, or having a trail. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen the unicorn I was on in the show either. But I was definitely in Equestria, so where was I?

The unicorn kept walking away from the direction I came from. At least I was going in the right direction, before the unicorn came. I looked down, confirming I was still a male. What? I read these kinds of fanfics, and I know for a fact, that the chance of you keeping your gender when you are transformed into a pony(or gryphon, in my case) and sent to Equestria is only 80-90%. Which is low, especially if we are talking about gender, for crying out loud. I definitely wouldn't want to be a girl... However intriguing it would be.....

Nnnnng, I'm a guy, I shouldn't be thinking about that. No, wait, for all terms and purposes, I'm a kid, I shouldn't be thinking about that! Oh lord, the sheer amount of foalcon I'd be headed for if I turned female. I'd totally be grinding this unicorn already.

I'm a naughty 19-year-old...

Author's Note:

Hey, I finally made use of that teen sex tag. And this is why I tage my stories. So I can write whatever the f:heart:ck I want

Hint, no he won't have any unknown special abilites. Life sucks.

Btw, Little Cloud is actually a character from another story I've written, that I sadly have cancelled ( it was poorly written, and I made events go by waaay too quickly, but I'm preparing to give it an entire reboot.

In other words, yes, this story is a self-insert for me.