Rough beginnings

by Never2muchpinkie

Chapter 7: Surrounded by friends

Derpy kept a tight hold on Dinky, her love for her daughter filling her up. She wished it was that easy, that Dinky could wash away everything that made her sad, but she was also scared. In the span of an hour she had almost killed herself twice, which would force Dinky to grow up without a mother. As Bon Bon had bluntly put out she had nearly caused her child as much suffering as she was going through.

Now that she had asked for help she was going to accept it, and pride be damned. She refused to let Dinky bear the weight of her problems. It was what she had promised long ago, when she had decided to forgo getting an abortion and taking the easy way out of her problems. If she didn’t accept help now she knew she would get overwhelmed again, much like a short time ago.

Keeping a grip on Dinky, Derpy flew towards an armchair, rocking Dinky much like before. “Everyone, I need to talk to you once Dinky goes back to sleep.”

Though the others were curious, minus Bon Bon and Lyra, they accepted that, knowing it wouldn’t be good to get onto an emotional topic with her baby so near.

Derpy settled Dinky down using the same method as before. Once Dinky conked out Derpy placed her in her carrier and put her in Bon Bon and Lyra’s room, leaving the door open a crack.

As she returned to the living room her self-restraint failed her much like before, and her eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry, everyone! I never meant for this to happen!

“I… I need a hug! Please!”

At once all of them gathered around her, joining in a big group hug. Derpy let herself go, bawling her eyes out as she kept apologizing for what she had nearly put them through. Through reassurances from them, as well as the comfort of their legs around her, she began to settle down.

When she had gotten herself under control she gently pushed them away, standing in front of them. “Bon Bon and Lyra already know this, but I… I tried to… to k-k-kill… myself… because I just found out I’ve lost my parents.”

Like with her other friends their eyes grew misty and their hearts grew heavy at the news.

“Oh, Derpy,” said Shoeshine. “I’m so sorry.”

“So,” began Doctor Hooves, “this was just a result of shock and being temporarily overwhelmed. The worst is over, right?”

Derpy shook her head. “No. No!” She hugged herself. “I’m scared! I’m more scared than I’ve ever been. I don’t trust myself. A part of me still feels like I’m going to go over the edge at the next bit of bad news.” She squeezed tighter. “And I can’t do that. I… I have to be there for Dinky! She needs me! I might not be the best parent, but the way she was wailing and calling out for me while I was off being stupid is all the proof I need.

“I need help! Now that I’ve lost my parents I’m not in a position to care for Dinky on my own.”

“On your own?” asked Berry Punch. “Don’t you have your lover boy?”

Bon Bon and Lyra gave a look to each other as Derpy twitched. They knew that Derpy only revealed the truth because she was at her most vulnerable and in the heat of the moment. She had stated how ashamed she was of things. They knew she wouldn't want to tell the others about being used and thrown away.

Lyra moved to one side of Derpy. “Well, the thing about that is that he broke up with her out of nerves, because he didn’t expect things to go that far and he wasn’t ready to be a parent.”

Bon Bon moved to the other side. “She pretended like they were still together because she didn’t want the rest of us to hold a grudge if he came back.”

Derpy looked back and forth between the two of them, and managed a tender smile, silently thanking them for not blowing the secret.

“Well, that’s pretty crummy,” Berry responded.

“Well,” Derpy said quietly, “even though we’re not together any more he does still help me by threatening the bullies to leave me alone. He does at least that much for me.

“But I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Tonight’s been bad enough without more sad memories.”

“Right,” said Shoeshine.

Doctor Hooves shook his head. “School drama. So glad I’m through that.” He leaned back in his seat and took a deep breath. “But as you say let’s forget about the past.” Leaning forward now he asked, “So how can we help you, Derpy?”

Derpy’s eyes fluttered as a wave of fatigue washed over her, and she would have fallen to the floor if Bon Bon wasn’t still next to her. “I don’t know! I don’t know!” She put a hoof to her head. “I don’t know anything anymore! My brain is scrambled and I can’t think.”

Lyra and Bon Bon helped her onto the couch. “Derpy,” Lyra started, “I have a suggestion that may help.” She whispered in Bon Bon’s ear, and she nodded.

“What is it?” she murmured, still feeling like she was going to pass out or freak out any second.

Putting a hoof on Derpy’s shoulder she said, “The two of us think you should move in with us for a while, until you can get back on your hooves.”

Derpy blinked, the words worming their way through the fog of her consciousness. When she processed them a host of excuses ran through her brain, but they felt so weak compared to how it felt usually. She had asked for help, and she was going to take it. Dinky needed her, alive and well, and if she refused their aid she feared for both of their well-beings.

“O-okay,” she said in a quivering voice, tears slowly dripping down her face. “T-thank you.”

“Of course,” said Bon Bon. “We only want what’s best for you. We don’t want to lose one of our closest friends.”

Derpy’s eyes closed for a few seconds, growing half-lidded. “I need some sleep,” she said in a croaky voice. “I… I can’t do any more tonight.”

“Okay.”

Lyra turned to Shoeshine, Berry Punch and Doctor Hooves. “Would you three mind spending the night as well? Derpy could use all the support she can get.”

All three of them gave their assent. “Of course I will!” Doctor Hooves responded. “I’d never forgive myself if we lost Derpy now that we’ve got her right here.”

“Alright, then. I’ll go get some supplies for all of us.”

As Lyra left Bon Bon began to walk away too. “And of course there’s one other thing we can’t forget.”

Bon Bon walked into her room, seeing Dinky still sound asleep inside her carrier. Undoing the snaps she reached in and pulled out the resting filly.

Dinky began to fuss, whining quietly and crying.

“Shhh,” she said quietly. “It’s okay.”

Dinky turned her eyes toward the voice, unable to make out who was making it in the dark. “M-Mama?” came the timid voice.

“No, baby. It’s not.”

The confirmation that it wasn’t her mother made Dinky pull away. “No, no, no, no! Mama! Mamaaaa!” she called out.

“Yes, that’s who we’re going to see.”

Dinky paused in her squirming. “See Mama?”

“Yes, sweetheart.” Pulling Dinky a little closer she asked, “Do you love your Mama?”

Dinky nodded. “Yes! I love Mama!”

“Good. Your mother is sad right now, and she could use a big hug from you. Can you do that?”

Dinky’s lower lip began trembling. “M-Mama sad?”

Bon Bon nodded. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Dinky climbed on top of Bon Bon, holding her by the neck. “Come on! Mama, Mama!”

Bon Bon trotted back to the living room. Derpy looked dead to the world. Her eyes were open but clearly not seeing. Helping Dinky down she said, “Go on. Give her the biggest hug you can.”

Dinky ran as fast as her legs would carry her, jumping into Derpy’s lap. “Mama!” she cried out, throwing her legs around her. “No be sad!”

Derpy’s eyes cleared as she looked down towards her most precious gift, seeing Dinky holding back tears for the sake of helping her. A measure of strength returned to her, and she held her daughter close. “I love you, Dinky,” she said tenderly, rubbing her back. “I love you so much.”

“I loves you too!” she replied.

“Dinky?”

“Hmm?”

Her eyes closed again. “Mommy is really tired. Will you sleep with me tonight?”

Dinky nodded vigorously. “Yay! I loves sleeping wif you!” She squeezed tighter, moving her head side to side in Derpy’s fur.

Derpy couldn’t help but smile to see how joyful Dinky was at her question. Despite how bad things were, Dinky was still wholly innocent. She intended to keep things that way. As was shown several times to her that night, the purest happiness Dinky experienced was simply being around and cared for by her. She never wanted to take that away from her child.

Lyra returned, levitating a number of sheets and pillows. “I’m back,” she called out, laying them down. “Pick the one you like best and let’s have a good night’s sleep.”

Derpy nodded, her limbs fighting her as she tried to pick up Dinky. She was at her limit. Seeing her struggling Shoeshine helped Dinky down.

Dinky protested at first, thinking Shoeshine was trying to take her away from her mother. She quieted down when she was only set on the floor.

Derpy scooted forward until she could let gravity do the work. She grabbed a pillow at random, collapsing on top of it.

Dinky pouted, looking like she was about to start crying, She said they were going to sleep together.

Lyra leaned over to her. “Your mommy picked out a pillow. Now you get to choose the blanket you want. She’s waiting for you.”

Dinky looked inquiringly at her, her face clearing. She was at an age where she wanted to make her own choices and assert her independence, so being told to make a decision suited her just fine.

Dinky trotted around, all smiles again as she looked over each of the blankets before she picked a pink one. “I want dis one!” she said jubilantly, holding it up.

“Oh! Good choice!” Bon Bon replied, clapping her hooves. “It’s very pretty.”

Dinky looked very pleased with herself, rubbing her head bashfully. She pulled the blanket over to Derpy. “Mama, Mama! Look! I gots us a blanket.”

Derpy was already half-asleep, exhaustion shutting down her brain functions. She didn’t want to leave the nice space she was entering, but when Dinky cried out her name with more urgency and a touch of sadness she opened her eyes a little bit, lifting her head a smidge. “It’s cute, just like you,” she said in a hoarse voice. “Come on, Muffin. Let’s go to sleep.” Her head sank back onto the pillow.

Dinky nodded, draping the blanket over her. She got a questioning look on her face when it only covered a small part of her body before uncovering her hooves. She pulled it down, but only had the same problem with the shoulders and neck.

Dinky let out a sound of frustration, trying to figure out why it wasn’t working. She whined softly, her face starting to grow red.

Seeing she was having trouble Lyra walked over to lend her a hoof. “Don’t get upset, Dinky. You just have it sideways.” Her horn glowed as she lifted the blanket and shifted it longways, laying it down over Derpy.

Dinky’s mouth fell open in shock, before her face grew steamy. “No no no!” she said, frustrated, using her hooves to pull the blanket off. She turned to Lyra, pointing an accusing hoof. “Bad! You bad!”

Lyra’s head tilted. “I’m bad? Why?”

Dinky pointed to herself. “That MY Mama! Me do it! Me!” She slapped her hoof to her chest. “Not you!”

Lyra stifled a smile. “Oh, right. I’m so sorry.”

Dinky let out a huff as she grabbed the blanket again, pulling it up to Derpy’s neck. “There we go. Much bettah!” Lifting the blanket a little she got underneath it. “Mama. Mama!” She poked Derpy. “Hode me, hode me!”

Derpy used the last of her strength to turn over onto her side, grabbing Dinky and holding her close. She shook a bit, sniffing.

“What wrong, Mama?” Dinky asked with concern.

Derpy just squeezed tighter, saying, “I love you, Dinky. I just love you so much. I’m so sorry I left you here before. You were so upset, calling out for me. It must have hurt so much.” Tears streamed down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Dinky smiled. “I forgives you!” She held Derpy back, snuggling into her fur. “I loves you too very much. No cry, Mama.”

Derpy took a deep breath, settling down a little. Dinky had forgiven her so easily, and bore no grudges. She nuzzled Dinky’s mane. “Thank you, Dinky. I… I needed to hear that.”

“You is welcomes!”

Turning over onto her back she gave Dinky a kiss. “Let’s sleep now, okay?”

Dinky nodded, yawning. “Okays, Mama.” She set her head on Derpy’s chest, grinning as she stared into her mother’s eyes. She gave Derpy a kiss back before saying, “Nighty-nights, Mama!”

“Nighty-night, Dinky,” she replied, letting her head slump onto the pillow, but still keeping her protective hold.

“Awww,” Bon Bon said quietly. “You two are so adorable together.”

Derpy ignored her, closing her eyes and hoping this time she could get to sleep.

While Derpy and Dinky were talking the rest of them had set up their blankets and pillows in a circle around them.

Derpy mustered one last bit of energy. “Thank you… everyone, for stopping me… and for reuniting me with my little Dinky.”

Dinky piped up, “Tank you’s!”

“You’re very welcome, Derpy,” said Lyra.

“That’s right,” said Berry Punch. “You’re our friend, so we’ll always help you when you need us.”

“I know…” Derpy’s voice quivered a little. “I know that tomorrow I’ll have to… to face the truth… but not now. I’m not ready yet.”

“We understand,” said Bon Bon.

Dinky sighed contentedly, rubbing her face in her mom’s fur and closing her eyes.

Derpy focused on Dinky’s face, so calm and peaceful, letting her painful thoughts drift away until she was ready to deal with them. Dinky was happy. That was enough for now. She closed her own eyes, drifting off to the sound of Dinky’s snoring.

Author's Note:

Dinky is so adorable.

Comments

[Perry Pinkie Potter]

Okay, Dinky is officially like the cutest thing ever!

[Never2muchpinkie]

7511421 Derpy would agree with you.

[jack the blu-jay]

Dinky nodded vigorously. “Yay! I loves sleeping wif you!”

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-ZwFSJdZs2gg%2FTwz2VRuzRyI%2FAAAAAAAAdEI%2F_6SEcwlw1ZI%2Fs1600%2FOutOfContext.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fquotesgram.com%2Fout-of-context-funny-quotes%2F&docid=idHFKXfDJ4cdvM&tbnid=zbOLeDsOvyfD4M%3A&w=489&h=399&hl=en-us&client=safari&bih=671&biw=1024&ved=0ahUKEwj9-JXf2uLOAhUH9WMKHZHNClYQMwgjKAcwBw&iact=mrc&uact=8