Chaos comes to Equestria, and the Blood Angels follow in its wake. Their arrival heralds the dawn of a new age, and as long-buried mysteries are uncovered, the fates of Equestria and the Imperium will become ever-more intertwined.
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Not bad like the idea of celestias dream taking place during the Horus heresy an her watching the fight between Sanginius and Horus
The dialogue isn't as bad as other crossovers here, but it's still kinda forced. There were some spelling errors and the plot feels a little rushed. For material like this to work, I'd recommend a Chapter length of at least two thousand, as the setup is proportional to the story's "scale".
All in all, head and shoulders above most of the 40k fics here.
Thanks! Still a bit new to this, and working out the kink with writing the cast. I'll definitely try and work on the dialogue.
I'll read it back over for the spelling. I should note I am Canadian, so I use "ou" in a number of words.
Glad you're enjoying it!
So far, you have performed admirably in your depiction of both the word bearers, as well as the primarchs. The details you have so far shown of the Word bearers points towards a goal that in no doubt will be made more complex as you carry your story. All I can hope for is that in time they shall perhaps become as fleshed out characters as Eliphas the Inheritor is.
Chaos forces?! DEATH TO THE TRAITORS! FOR THE LION!
7244562 Indeed Grand Master, let us show these foul traitors what true, unquestionable and not at all secretive closet traitors the dark angels are.
Chapter 1: to bad Chrysalis, the dragon lord, or powerful rulers from other realms and/or races couldn't feel the disturbance.
DIS GON B GUD INTENSIFIES
Oh and DEATH TO THE HERETICS
I wonder what that baton Discord has is...
7431144 I'll give you a hint: think of who he's referencing here.
First of all,
I see what you did there.
Also, 7431144 it's a lightsaber. He's doing an Obi Wan Kenobi impression.
img.memecdn.com/no_o_743331.gif
Ever notice that the Chaos Space Marines say the word "Emperor" whereas, in the fluff, daemons are pained by His name? I wonder, does that mean they feel pain each time they say it like the devils in Highschool DxD praying to God, but they enjoy the pain because they're so psycho?
Anyway, I hope the Sanguinor appears by the end of the fic and saves the Imperium. Sanguinius was reknown for his immense wisdom, so he would probably succeed. The irony that if anyone but Horus had been impaled by that Chaos sword which corrupted him, the other Primarch would probably have refused Chaos. Each is simply too stubborn in their own way, Horus was cursed with an open mind. Technically, Sanguinius also has an open mind, but he has the wisdom to know when to bar it. Well, that and he would have pointed out that the stagnant Imperium in the vision made no sense given what he saw was far less advanced than the Imperium already is and given the Emperor's personal efforts in advancing humanity. The daemon would have been amusingly stumped.
Ah Discord, you never stop to amuse, though I wonder if he'll be responsible for bringing the Blood Angels to Equestria or will at least reduce the causalities... no dead main characters I hope