Chapter 7: And Then Zecora Dashed.
(Sorry for formatting issues. A recent update on Fim fiction screwed with Gdoc imported stories. I will wait a week or so to see if they fix this problem. If not I will likely have to manual adjust the format (Which I already did to seperate each paragraph.)Trolls! Thought Twilight, panting sharply as she zigged left around an oak seconds before the cracking of its mighty trunk, signaling the end of its long life. Of course it was trolls. Why wouldn't it be trolls? A quick hop over a root and another jump sent Twilight zagging right around a willow, suddenly falling in a stale pond surrounded by accursed yew.
After all, this stupid sun-scorning forest has every other monster in the manual. Stupid forest. Stupid trolls. Stupid running as fast as I can! The librarian screamed in her head as she barely cleared the gap between two noble fir trees and ducked a low hanging branch. Earth-quaking forces cracked and snapped both the trees. A quick look from the purple pony confirmed the beast was hardly slowed.
"Come back, little pony. I only want to play jump rope with you." mocked a Celestia-sized, pony-shaped vine troll.
Dear Alicorns above please don't make me play jump rope with that green troll. Or wait, does the troll want to use me as a jump rope... GAH! Brain stop working on different ways I might die and work on different ways I can live.
"Little pony, come here and give me a hug."
Living definitely focus on living.
"How are you crashing through tree's bigger than you? It's not physically possible. You're not physically possible!"
"Come here and let me show you, my little pony."
"NO!"
"Yes!"
"Stop breaking the laws of physics!" screamed Twilight, diving around a rock. It shouldn't have come as a surprise that a Tom-sized rock would actually cause the troll to go around it, but it did. The surprise quickly faded, and with a quick glance at the location, Twilight charged her horn and disappeared with a flare before the troll.
Surprised, the troll looked around, rubbing one eye with a vined hoof, then the other. As it turned around, it noticed the panting, sweaty, unicorn on a rock.
"You're on a rock?"
"I'm... on a rock..." panted the tired mare.
"How you get there?"
"Teleported."
"If you could do that, why you trick me into chasing you?"
"The further I travel, the more I have to concentrate. When you went around the rock I was able to get just enough time to think without tripping and subsequently being eaten by you."
"Stupid rocks!" grumbled the troll as it walked away. "Guess I'll have to go find sometroll else to play with."
"You do that, Troll!" yelled Twilight into the forest.
“Who speaks of Trolls with such fear? Is that Twilight that I hear?”
Twilight's head spun around to see a familiar Zebra behind her. “Oh, Zecora. Thank Celestia you’re here.”
“It was your shouts and screams that brought me near.”
“I was being chased by a green troll." said Twilight as she hopped down from the rock. "It took me awhile before I could get a moment to teleport without running into a tree. Wait, what do you do when you run into a troll in the woods?"
“When I meet a troll in the woods, I pull out a can of fake goods. Trolls are crude; they can’t resist food, so they get to the middle, and instantly nibble. It makes them giggle, from poison of nickel."
"That's a neat trick, but doesn't that make them sick?"
"Trolls are hardy, with an incredible body. Their bodies will be fine, and in short time, so is their mind.
"Any other advice for a pony taking a casual stroll through a deadly forest?"
"The forest, while green, can be quite mean. I would advise you remain unseen."
"Unfortunately I have yet to master either invisibility or silencing spells. Weak and powerful unicorns alike have trouble casting those successfully. The problem stems from trying to find a balance between enough power and control to display a image and not using so much power that you blind..."
"Yes, Twilight dear, I understand your plight and fear. But monsters come while darkness runs. And while it can make for an interesting night, I wish to avoid such a fight."
"Agreed."
Zecora turned toward her hut, walking confidently into the forest. As Twilight followed, she noticed that the zebra never turned to acknowledge the small sounds in the bushes, but did casually turn away from a moderate growl. Twilight hoped the growl was coming from deeper in the woods.
After a few minutes, Twilight noted they seemed to enter into a calmer section of the forest. The relative silence was broken by Zecora's eloquently rhythmed speech.
"So Twilight dear, want to give me the highlights here, or would you prefer to wait until we are shut in my hut?"
Twilight pulled her eyes away from the foreboding forest before answering. "Oh, well, um, I ran into a type of magic I was not very familiar with and wanted to see if you knew anything about it before I bothered Celestia."
"Your logic is sound. Pray-tell what have you found?"
Twilight looked down as they continued walking in an attempt to hide a small, growing blush. "Actually it's what Rainbow Dash found, or rather, the situation he has found herself in."
Zecora looked back, one eyebrow raised.
"She, um well," Twilight's blush grew. She had been trying to objectify the whole situation, but trying to find the words to explain the situation to someone who did not already know was affecting her, objectivity.
"Go on my friend; you will not offend."
Twilight stopped and took in a deep, calming breath. "The, uh, private area ventral to her fourth or fifth lumbar has been magically transformed into a prepuce with accompanying transformations at a genetic level across her, excuse me, now his entire body."
Zecora fully turned to face her less-than-level headed friend, leaning in. Twilight donned a noticeably nervous grin, ears flattening backward. As Zecora leaned in she forced Twilight to step backwards.
"Do you mean to say, her gender lines are now grey?"
"No, no. They're pretty black and white."
"Rainbow Dash, no longer a mare. No rash decisions, we need care."
"Exactly." said the lavender mare. "Can you help me?"
"I would have to see, the little pony."
"Great. Uh, do you want me to bring Dash here, or do you want to go to town?"
"I'll stay, so send her this way."
"Okay then, I'll be back with Dash tomorrow."
"Oh, you are mistaken Twilight, I'll need Dash alone, tonight."
"Oh. Okay, I'll send her over then. Do you want us to come over tomorrow, or will you come to the Library?"
"I'll need Rainbow Dash to stay the night, so how about we come by tomorrow, alright?"
Twilight nodded. "I don't see why that would be a problem. She's been staying in Applejack's barn, and she doesn't seem all that picky as long as she can get comfortable. Though I am curious, why would she, he." Twilight sighed. "Why would Dash have to stay the night?"
Zecora looked hard at Twilight before replying.
"Ah, my friend, I hope I don't offend. But many secrets, the Zebra have. And awkward moments, are sure to be had. That type of magic, while not very tragic, might best be left to Zebra magic, alone. It's effect around unicorn magic is unknown."
"Um, okay. Well I'll see you tomorrow then. How about you stop by the library and we can have some tea?"
Zecora smiled pleasantly. "That sounds fine to me."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rainbow decided to enjoy her flight to Zecora's. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she had no idea how Zebra magic worked. Potions were creepy enough, but talismans and ritual masks, no thanks.
The night, the whole night in the Everfree Forest. What was Twilight thinking?
The Wonderbolt hopeful landed gently in front of the hut. The twilight was kept at bay by the forest’s canopy, making the windows of Zecora's hut the only source of light. The only, creepy, eye-like source of light. Dash shivered.
The knocking on the door sounded hollow, and the door swung soundlessly in.
"Welcome to my home; it is nice to not be alone."
Rainbow walked in cautiously, no reason to tempt fate after all, and closed the door behind her, sniffing at the smell of, baking? No that's wasn't right. It kind of smelled a bit like a pumpkin pie, or at least the basic ingredient, and there was a very strong smell of cinnamon and villain. It was, relaxing.
"So, Rainbow Dash, I fear I must ask, do you... have a rash?"
Dash blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Twilight told you I am investigating this," Zecora gestured to Rainbow with a hoof, "Magic."
"Yeah. Thanks for the help by the way. But why are you asking me about a rash?"
"It is quite tragic. Zebra history knows of such effects. I merely want to see, if it's a hex that has changed your sex. Or perhaps a curse. Possibly something else, equally perverse."
Dash looked around pensively. "Yeah, about that. No offense or anything but I don't really know how your magic works." Rainbow paused, afraid she may have offended the foreign zebra. She took a calming breath. "What I mean to say is..."
"My magic is very new to you, and as such seems taboo. Situations like this, can destroy equine bliss. And for that you are understandably very wary. "
Dash scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. The masks don't really help either. I'm not scared or anything." added the rainbow stallion hastily. "But I feeling like I am being watched is, kinda awkward."
Zecora smiled. "Have no fret, the masks are meant to be affectionate. They are masks of greeting, meant for any meeting."
Rainbow stared at Zecora for a moment before comprehending the meaning. "So, they're like a welcome mat, or a wreath during Hearth's Warming Eve?"
"Correct, they are meant as a sign of respect."
Dash visibly relaxed. "That's, kinda cool actually. I mean it's at least more interesting than a couple of pictures like most ponies have."
"Too True."
"Well then, want to get started?"
"That sounds fair, go and sit over there." Zecora pointed to a small pile of cushions in a corner. She joined Rainbow promptly with a tray of bowls, jars, and a few implements that were much less intimidating that any dentist's.
Zecora placed the tray a step or two away from Dash. Then she began her inspection. Turning Rainbow's head this way and that. Standing him up, sitting him down, poking and prodding. Dash dislike it, mostly because the touching was becoming rather awkward.
Rainbow was all up for a group hug or a good wrestle, but it felt to him like he was being judged. Upon that deduction the colt suddenly felt more confident. Nervous as he was, he knew he was probably one of the fittest, best examples of equine anatomy in Ponyville. It made him feel special. Swelling up his chest, Dash decided to break the silence.
"So doc, what’s the verdict. Am I as awesome as I know I am?"
Zecora blushed. "Their is no contest, nor would I protest, if I had to examine such a fine specimen again."
Rainbow felt emboldened, something very similar to the aftereffects of performing a particularly hard stunt. "I am pretty awesome, best athlete in Ponyville."
Zecora poked Dash in the side. "I thought you lost to Applejack, at the Running of the Leaves track."
Rainbow turned sharply at the accusation. "What? where did you learn that? It was a tie, and I totally would have beaten her if she hadn't tackled..." Dash trialled off as she noticed, from a rather close vantage point, that Zecora was stifling a smile at her outburst.
They both burst out laughing. Rainbow with a blush on her cheeks.
"Sorry, I'm a little full of myself."
"You can be a bit of a brute, but in all honesty that was quite cute."
"Hey," Dash said while finishing her chuckles, "normally I take offense to being called cute."
"Without dismay, I must say, why not today?"
"I don't know. Ever since I was changed I have been seeing the world differently. I don't understand it."
Zecora picked up jar of oils.
"I've been reading about the differences between mares and stallions. And it kind of makes sense, I guess. But I never really thought about romance or mating before becoming male. I think it has something to do with testostronone. At least that's what one of Twilight's books made me think."
Zecora began applying the oils to Rainbow's back, an impressive feat when the equine in question had a wide, knowing, grin. "That would make sense. Now I mean no offense, but you do seem a little dense, when it comes to gender pretense."
"Yeah yeah, the important part is that I am learning now."
Zecora frowned at the oil's lack of magical response. She took out a large seed from a small dish, and gave it to dash. "Chew."
Zecora continued after Dash complied. "Knowledge such as that is long overdue for you."
Rainbow rolled her eyes.
"But if you have any questions, I can give you my opinion and suggestions. Now spit, and sit."
Dash complied, spitting the gum like remains of the seed into the same bowl. The athlete noticed the bottom had Zecora's trademark neon lime green magic power.
"That seed kinda left my mouth all tingly."
Zecora smiled while looking away so that Rainbow could not see. "It is a arginine-rich seed from a very rare tree breed."
"What does it do?"
"Many things, but in this case it brings a method to absorb bits of magic. I hope to identify it, by mixing it with this special stick."
Zecora reached up and pulled down an ancient beech stick.
"Well." Rainbow rallied against her embarrassment. "I was wondering a couple things."
Zecora nodded, mouth engaged in manipulating the soft wood.
"I know it's mares and stallions that make a foal. But why can't mares be with mares and stallions with stallions? It seems like they would have more in common."
Zecora chuckled as she set down the mixture to sit for a bit. "They can and they do, but it is a private affair between the two. Some ponies frown and think it taboo, but to find them one must travel far, for they are few."
"Then why haven't I seen any, pairings, like that in town?"
"The main desire in a mate, is the need to propagate. It is the primary drive, and hard to contrive. For most ponies their preference is innate."
"So, ponies are born attracted to either mares or stallions?"
"This could be a long discussion with much repercussion. Let's leave it to rest, until we are done with the tests."
Dash frowned, clearly unhappy with leaving the answers alone. Maybe Twilight's rubbing off on me. "But you'll answer my questions afterward, tonight right?"
"You will have to look inside, where some of the answers might hide. But yes, I'll answer your quest, and questions too."
Rainbow Dash cocked her head, confused by the statement.
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Big thanks to Meeester again with the edits.
In my opinion, my worst chapter.
I thought it might take 2 weeks maybe 3, it took 4. It's not as funny in my opinion. I knew this was going to be a little less humorous than the previous chapters. And it still fell short. There are a lot of jokes and some plot points (heh, plot points) that are more subtle and I do not expect many people to get. Researching various things for this chapter also took a really long time. I can't even tell you about it cause it would ruin the subtlety.
Please leave comments on what you like and dislike. I want to know what works and what doesn't and with Zecora I am in new territory. I kept loosing my mind, trying to make every sentence rhyme.
...
Damnit.
You did very well with Zecora's lines. If it was only one or two lines in the entire chapter, they would still be very impressive, but you did nearly an entire chapter of Zecora's rhymes, so many kudos to you for that. Not everyone can write a chapter of Zecora.
edit: Uh oh, you left in my name from every comment. Lol.
Hmm...this seems to be a wrong or incorrectly formatted document.
1227459
um... fixed
Yeah it took several hours to figure out how Zecora does her lines. Turns out if you do it right you do it wrong. She almost does iambic pentameter, but not quite.
1227477
?
1227506
Looks like you fixed it, there was a long string of text at the end
1227523
I don't know what your talking about.
Zecora's rhymes felt too short. That's my only complaint.
You made a great Zecora... Mine was just a damn migraine....
and seductive zecora is da best!
I love the epic awkwardness of this story.
1227902
Yeah... I wanted the Zecora bit to be longer, with more show accurate rhymes. It's harder to add real emotion and character with rhymes and Iambic pentameter than I thought. Try adding innuendo and seduction... lets just say I had to limit myself in order to get done what needed to get done.
this is the best zecora i have seen in a while
1237501
Thank you, I'll get better with practice.
If you know someone who wants help writing her, I need some motivation to make a guide.
I think your first comment says it all, really, but it's not like I could easily come with something better. Disregarding the rhymes and shortness (felt left hanging, and not in the good cliffhanger way), my only complaint is that I often just don't follow your logic. Like, "Dash didn't dislike it, mostly because the touching was becoming rather awkward." To me, awkwardness is a reason to dislike it, unless you're just trying to be subtle and indirect?
I would point out a couple more, but am typing with a mini phone keyboard atm. 
1239803
You are absolutely correct, that line did not make since. I can't believe me and two pre-readers did not catch that.
So let's see here:
Due to a horribly overdone prank,
is practically asexual.
And
help us if 
ever finds out about any of this.
That about right?
1285212
close on
read the last chapter again and see if you can figure out where this is going.
you'll find out about
next chapter. Along with 
and 
Epic ending will be epic and full of Surprize!
1285289
Well, I was paraphrasing and being a smartass as usual, but yeah that's more or less that I was saying.
1285307
And I was paraphrasing and being a smart-ass.
Dafuq did I just read?
I want more.
I'm also happy I'm not the only one who thinks Ditzy and Derpy are two different ponies.
1320794
You just read "And Then Rainbow Dash Was a Colt," and I Keep Referring to it Under a Different Name.
Conveniently I will be working on more in addition to a Troll fic (Fic about a Troll, not a fic to troll) and A Trixie redemption not really comedy.
I can go either way on the Ditzy Derpy. But this is a random comedy and I went with something funny.
Piquo Pie
Quite well written and very amusing!
Poor AJ, though.
138611
AJ is fine, it's dash you gotta worry about.
So is there gunna be an update here soon?
I WANNA KNOW THE ENDING!
1753551
I promise I was working on it, then more stuff came up.
Like your story
1756425
1757095
I'm gonna read one of your stories after this, I went and put one of them on my read later page for later.