Even Stranger Still [S6: "Stranger Than Fanfiction"]
The morning after she returned from the convention, Rainbow made her rounds around Ponyville, distributing souvenirs. Her last stop was Twilight's castle.
"Hey Twilight," she called out as she entered the throne room, where Twilight and Starlight were reading some dusty old magic books.
"Oh! Hi, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight called. "How was the convention?"
"It was AWESOME!" Rainbow cried. Then, remembering how crestfallen Twilight was at having to miss it, she amended, "It was a'ight. Kinda got into a scrape with..." She paused, then glanced at Starlight. She shook her head. "Our, y'know, friend."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Starlight knows," she said. "I told her."
"Oh." Rainbow blinked. "Isn't that kinda...breaking a promise?"
Twilight shrugged. "Starlight's one of us now, I think she can be trusted. So what was that about Daring?"
"Oh! Right. Well, it turns out she was only at the convention because she was in the middle of an adventure and Caballeron was hot on her tail."
"So she decided to blend in with the Daring Do cosplayers?" Twilight said. "Smart."
"Yeah, well...it didn't turn out that way," Rainbow said. "Caballeron and his goons kidnapped me and this dude I met at the convention, we got into this zany adventure, ended up trapped in an ancient temple, nearly got eaten by a crocodile monster..."
Twilight's ears wilted. "I missed out on a real-life Daring Do adventure?"
"Eh, you're better off," Rainbow said. "You didn't have to listen to Quibble Pants' constant complaining. And he wouldn't stop rambling all the way back to the hotel!"
"Quibble Pants?" Starlight asked.
"The dude I met that got kidnapped with me. He's...kind of an annoying Daring Do fan. I mean, he's alright and all, but he never shuts up and he's kind of a know-it-all. Even more than Twilight!"
Twilight blinked. "Gee, thanks," she muttered sourly.
"So how was Griffonstone?" Rainbow asked. "Did you see Gilda?"
Twilight brightened. "Actually, yes I did! The Griffons have sort of made her their leader. She's rallied them and is leading them in rebuilding Griffonstone." She smiled. "Princess Celestia thinks it's only a matter of time before they decide to make Gilda the new Queen of the Griffons."
"That sounds pretty awesome," Rainbow said. "Sounds like a lotta hard work, though. Hey, maybe I should write her a letter when I get home."
"Good thinking."
"Oh hey, I got you something," Rainbow said. Nosing around in her saddlebag, she pulled out a flat cellophane bag.
Twilight took it in her magic and examined it. On the front was a depiction of Daring Do in a rather compromising position. Twilight blinked, tilting her head. "Is this...is this a donkeymakura?"
"Yeah!" Rainbow said. "They had a couple different ones. Some of 'em were kinda..." She shuddered. "Creepy. But this one's awesome! I got one for you, one for me..."
"Umm...thanks," Twilight said, setting it aside gently. Starlight examined it and made a disturbed face. "So, what else did you—"
The throne room doors opened, and a dark orange stallion with a grey-streaked dark mane walked in. "Really? You have this huge gigantic castle and no guards? Ever hear of security? What if assassins were to come in? Or stalkers? Or—"
Rainbow's ears and wings drooped. "Quibble! You're...here. In...Ponyville."
"It's on my way home, so I decided to drop by," Quibble said. He looked around. "Well, if this isn't just the biggest, shiniest, gaudiest waste of taxpayer money..."
"Actually, it grew out of a seed from the Tree of Harmony," Twilight said. "So it didn't cost anypony anything." She frowned. "I'm sorry, you are...?"
"Quibble Pants," Quibble said. "I met Rainbow Dash at the Daring Do convention. A unicorn in town said she was headed this way and was a friend of the princess." He tilted his head. "Which...would be you. Huh. You're...not what I pictured."
Twilight blinked. "I'm not?"
"Well...you're a princess, right? You should be, you know..." He waved a hoof vaguely. "Well, for starters, you're not even wearing a crown! I mean, every time you see Princess Celestia, she's got the crown, the peytral, the golden horseshoes...and Princess Luna! Now there's a mare who knows how to look regal! But you, well..." He frowned. "If I didn't see the wings, I honestly wouldn't have even thought you were an alicorn."
"Uh-huh."
"Don't pay any attention to him," Rainbow said, dragging a hoof down her face. "He's always like this."
"And what are you even the princess of?" Quibble went on. "I mean, heh, Princess of Friendship? How can you rule over Friendship? Do you run this town when you're not, aheheh, 'ruling' friendship? And another thing, why is your castle so close to Canterlot? It seems to me that it'd be a better use of royal resources to have you out somewhere in western Equestria, you know, farther away from the capital? That way..."
"Uuuuuuugh," Twilight groaned, sinking below the Cutie Map, eyes half-lidded.
Starlight Glimmer just produced some freshly popped popcorn out of nowhere and kicked back, an amused smirk on her face.
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Starlight's reaction to all of it was hilarious!
Donkeymakura
, then again better that the younger audience doesn't know the real name.
This is why people dislike you, you're stealing Discord's thing.
Five minutes later...
Starlight opened her eyes. She'd been letting the unending tirade wash over her as a sort of white noise, making its sudden absence all the more starling. She saw Quibble Pants still going strong in a magenta bubble, then turned to Twilight.
"Bubble of silence," said the alicorn. "Really useful in libraries. Can you get in touch with Trixie?"
"Uh, I can try. Why?"
"I need to ask her if she can teach me that mouth-removal spell..."
Quibble Pants should learn to watch his tongue; he might be able to get away with that kind of stuff when talking about a book series, but bad mouthing a princess is sure to bite him, no matter how much of a rookie she is compared to Celestia or Luna.
Starlight is just enjoying the best entertainment she has had in a long time.
7441965
Lèse-majesté is certainly a thing in an absolute monarchy. Or triarchy. Or whatevs.
I'm afraid I don't get the "donkeymakura" reference. Is it just a saucy picture?
Quibble's just lucky Starlight's interested in watching the fireworks, otherwise he'd probably live to regret mouthing off to a princess.
7442141 You know those Daring Do body pillows? Those are called dakimakura.
7442153 Hm. Never heard of them before. Didn't see any in the episode, either. I'll have to watch it again.
7442153 Ah, so that's what you call them.
7442158
These,as Dash is so nicely pointing out.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/7/31/1213181__safe_rainbow+dash_screencap_daring+do_body+pillow_spoiler-colon-s06e13_stranger+than+fan+fiction_quibble+pants.png
Trouble is that Quibble Pants raises a lot of good points. Just saying.
7442162
It's literally "hug pillow".
What many people do with those kind of pillows doesn't exactly qualify as "hugging".
7442179 Thanks. I had no idea what that was. To me, a pillow's just something you lay your head on.
7442221 Or occasionally toss at someone.
What about the autographed book?
7442014 Very much so. I remember reading a story that would actually fit as one of these postscripts, except for its length, that uses that to trap a pony with very poor taste.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/333682/1/royal-review/royal-review
You're not wrong.
She's also the one that saved your ass, among others, from Nightmare Moon, Discord, Tirek, AND helped with Chrysalis and Sombra. I suggest you show her some respect.
Welp, Starlight Glimmer is my spirit animal. Because that is EXACTLY what I could do.
Glorious and fitting epilogue.
I just binge watched all the episodes from episode 10. I've been meaning to watch them for a while now and this motivated me to do so. Thanks. Also this was a funny postscript.
-BFBL
7452461 Yeah, but admit it, you'd laugh at another dude doing that. Especially the way Big Mac did it. And if you were said dude's sister, you'd REALLY bust a gut.
7442180
And how hard is to poke logic holes in a cartoon for kids? The character was specifically created to point on how annoying smartass fandom can be.
You should includes the episode's title in parenthesis ( ) so people know what episode is being extended. Do you have one where the make the eaters of their prize winning cake clean Sugarcube Corner top to bottom?
Of all the days to forget you can do a mouth-zipper spell, eh Twilight?
7452544 I haven't done that episode yet, no. And I'm trying to make the titles fairly intuitive as to what episode they're referring to, sort of like how Tired Old Man does his Letters series. I'm not going to put episode titles in parentheses just for the sake of readers who can't take five seconds to do some mental association, sorry.
7452538 Depends on the cartoon.
7452569 So let me get this straight...you're using something someone said in a fanfic to justify your position on something.
Just wanted to make sure that's what you're actually saying.
You should introduce Quibble to Pinkie Pie because she can talk a lot more and faster. Pinkie isn't annoying however and she might be able to explain that to Quibble.
7514123 I do, but it's canon that Rainbow uses it, so... *shrugs helplessly*
Also
I just saw that pic literally 20 seconds before I saw your comment!
7514173
Whose consensus? References. Sources.
7514180
I meant pre-Ponyville.
7514446
7515548 Erm, hate to burst your bubble, but we know no such thing. We know she groomed Opalescence as a favor to Rarity. We never saw bits exchanged. As far as Fluttershy and pet grooming, that's ALL we "know".
7515689
Yep this. We never see her actually earn any bits, nor see her do any actual work. Sure she sends animals that come to her, to others as pets. But we never see her take money for it. It's more her wanting them to have a home than her wanting to get bits (and she practically nerdgasms at the slightest hint of wanting a pet before shoving as many different animals to another pony as possible).
And she feeds animals that live with her or decide to come to her for free / easy food. But we never see her get paid by anyone, nor hold anything resembling a job. She's seen doing what she wants, when she wants, and always seems to have random bits laying around (personally I'm liking Green's explanation on her wealth (the fic).