Saddled With Nepotism [S6: "The Saddle Row Review"]
Mr. Stripes was busy dusting and rearranging his tiny miniature doll furniture collection when there was a knock on his door.
"Coming," he called gruffly, stomping over to the front door and throwing it open. "Da?"
His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as he beheld the towering white alicorn standing on his stoop.
"Mr. Stripes, I presume?"
Mr. Stripes took a step back, lowering his head in reverence. "P-Princess Celestia," he stammered. "What can I do for you, Your Majesty?"
Princess Celestia brandished a newspaper at him. "Mr. Stripes, I've just read a most interesting review of a certain boutique on Saddle Row. Specifically, Rarity's new boutique."
"Ah, yes, yes, Miss Rarity, most valued tenant," Mr. Stripes said thickly. "Give my precious daughter job, graciously and generously—"
"Mr. Stripes," Princess Celestia interrupted firmly, "before you say anything else, there is one thing you must know."
"Da?"
"Are you aware, Mr. Stripes, that Rarity is a personal friend of the Crown?"
"Ah, was not aware, no," Mr. Stripes said. "Is good to know! Good for business, yes?"
"Mr. Stripes." Princess Celestia's tone was more forbidding now. "She is a friend of all four Princesses. She is one of Equestria's most celebrated heroes. Rarity, Mr. Stripes, is a very important pony."
"Da?" Mr. Stripes began to feel nervous about the direction this conversation was taking.
"Naturally, I am relieved that the opening of her new boutique in Manehattan went off successfully in spite of the many difficulties mentioned in the newspaper," Princess Celestia said. "But one thing the article mentioned bothered me, and I asked Princess Twilight about it personally. You do remember Princess Twilight Sparkle, do you not? I believe you met on the day in question."
"Ah...nyet. Do not recall meeting Princess Twilight."
Princess Celestia narrowed her eyes. "You stood in the presence of an alicorn and failed to notice her?"
Mr. Stripes tugged at his collar nervously. "Was not wearing crown," he protested feebly. "Hard to say if was princess."
"I see," Princess Celestia said. "In any case, Mr. Stripes, the thing that bothers me about the entire incident—well, one of many things, and there are certain other ponies I will be having words with, including Rarity herself—is that you extorted Rarity into hiring your daughter for a job she is not qualified for by threatening to raise her rent if she did not comply."
"Ahh...was joke!" Mr. Stripes insisted, laughing heartily. "Was only joke! Would never—"
"Because that is quite an unethical and illegal business practice in Equestria, Mr. Stripes," Princess Celestia said with a stern frown.
Mr. Stripes quailed. "What you have me do?" he whined. "Daughter wanted job. Saw building I own had store needed workers. Was good opportunity, no?"
"No," Princess Celestia said. "A good father, a good landlord, would not stronghoof a pony into hiring any member of his family under duress. Or anypony else, for that matter."
Mr. Stripes took a step back. "But...but she was so happy, have opportunity to work in clothing shop..."
"But is she qualified to work in an upscale boutique?" Princess Celestia asked. "The way I understand it, Rarity was forced to contend with an onslaught of ill-conceived ideas that could very well have sabotaged her business. It's a minor miracle that the fashion elite of Manehattan bought it as part of the boutique's charm."
"See? Was good for business! In the end, everypony happy!"
Princess Celestia slammed a hoof on the floor. "Do I look happy, Mr. Stripes?"
Mr. Stripes made a strangled squeaking sound. "N-nyet," he said. "Look like ready to fight dragon, actually."
Princess Celestia arched her neck to look down her muzzle at Mr. Stripes. "You will tell Rarity that she is free to choose whether or not to retain Plaid Stripes as an employee, and that she is free to reject any of Plaid's ideas she deems unsuitable for her business, without fear of reprisal from you. Is that understood?"
Mr. Stripes' head drooped and he tucked his tail between his legs. "Da."
"Good." Princess Celestia turned to leave. "I think you will find, Mr. Stripes, that all of Equestria benefits when every citizen practices honesty and integrity when dealing with their fellow pony."
Once the princess was gone and the door closed, Mr. Stripes trotted weakly over to his sofa and flopped down. "Should never have left Stalliongrad..."
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I think I laughed more than I should have at this. Good Schadenfreude.
Manehattan as a whole doesn't seem to think much of alicorns.
These are definitely satisfying epilogues thus far. Looking forward to future installments.
7255275 No, that entire paragraph is what would have fixed the ending of The Cutie Re-Mark if they'd gone for that instead of the pointless song.
7255282 Honestly, I think the song was just fine. It was catchy, upbeat, and really heartfelt.
Besides, the montage that played during the song was pretty cute.
I get the feeling that if the episodes had, say, 5 more minutes to work with, at least a few of these would have actually been added to the episodes.
This one, though, I have a bit of an issue with.
Mainly because I don't see Celestia acting this way.
The portrayal of her in your epilogue to "No Second Prances" is much closer to how I imagine her acting.
Here... I don't know, it just feels off.
Probably because Mr. Stripes is a normal earth pony and not some kind of evil creature.
7255303 It's not the song, it's that they crammed it in after a completely "WTF?" scene that made no sense. Axing it to better explain Twilight's reasoning for not throwing Starlight down a hole and leaving here there would have been preferable.
7255389 Honestly, I think the scene made sense as it was in the episode.
The reasoning wasn't spoonfed. It relied on the viewers making careful observation of the events of the episode, and of the series as a whole, and then realizing that Twilight made the best decision.
7255416 Except she really didn't. But let's not get into that again. I've already had that argument with you and I'm sick of it.
7255427 All right then.
*Applause*
I actually pointed out that scene on your blog review of the episode. Saying how Mr Stripes has balls for threatening somepony in front of a princess of Equestria.
Nice to see it didn't escape your sight either and give Mr Stripes is well deserve comeuppance.
7255389
Not that literally throwing her down a hole would do a whole lot to stop Starlight...
7255495 Figure of speech. I meant banishing her to Tartarus or putting her in the dungeons in Canterlot with a horn dampener or something.
7255513 On the subject of "Horn dampeners": Has there been any canon mention of such things existing? It of course would make sense that they would so I've nothing against fanfics using them even if they've not been mentioned in canon but I don't seem to recall them being mentioned off-hand.
7255698 Dampening spells were used on unicorns entering the Equestria Games for security purposes in season four.
Never thought of Celestia reading the paper before. I can see her taking matters into her own hooves like this though and it is hilarious.
Saddled with Nepotism indeed, eh Celestia?
Definitely something you've never been guilty of right?
hopefully you will write a chapter on either the best night ever or slice of life next.
Not bad, but I feel like Twilight should be the one to lay down the law on Mr. Stripes for his actions. After all, she was actually there and Rarity is a close friend of hers. Princess Celestia only heard about Mr. Stripes through the paper article.
Indeed you shouldn't have, Mr. Stripes.
Nice cathartic chapter. Little thing I was hoping would happen in the dialogue, just as a funny idea.
7258850 I need you to understand something very important:
This is possibly the greatest comment of all time.
7255698 The chapter book Daring Do and the Eternal Flower also features Horavian Unichain, a cylinder comprised of chain meant to encase a unicorn’s horn and cut off their magic, presented as about the most humiliating punishment you can give a unicorn.
7255270
Nah. We've pretty much seen everything. Not much fazes us anymore.
So we like to think...
7256166
The only problem with that is that Twilight tends to not exercise the authority she has as an official Princess. The main reason being that she hasn't been given a clear idea of just what her authority and responsibilities actually are. We're talking about a princess who has thus far failed to acquire the necessary guards and staff required for both her new residence, and still hasn't even though it had been used against her.
Or, as I like to sometimes joke:
Twilight Sparkle: "Why does nopony ever give me a clear mission statement!? A list of objectives and responsibilities would be nice too!"
7260686 You'd think by now Twilight would realize there's no instruction manuel for being a princess.
7264154 She isn't consistently written. Some versions I think are well-written. XP Mind you, people can change, but having her do so off-screen breaks the "show, don't tell" rule.
7264154 Well, we haven't seen her in the same situation more than once.
I don't see it as her being written poorly. I see it as different aspects of her personality being revealed as the series goes on.
7256910 Simple:
Trixie was keeping her busy, so she had to deal with her first.
7256441 Honestly, I think RD calling her out in the episode itself was enough comeuppance.
7256431 Completely agreed in all regards.
Admittely, most equestrians seems to suffer Dr. Doofenshmirtz´s syndrome with Alicorn Princesses.
7264658 That episode was an unmitigated disaster and I'm honestly not even considering it to be canon. :/
7264733 So what are you going to do if a later episode comes along and shows that this episode IS indeed canon?
7266961 1. We don't know how long the celebrations actually took. For all we know, it was only 5 minutes.
2. Pinkie was obviously waiting until it was funny to insist getting her mouth back.
7267077 That was early in the episode.
After a few minutes, she adapted to it and decided to wait.
7267098 I see that moment as her just trying to mention it matter-of-factly.
7267127 It doesn't really look desperate to me.
Worried for Twilight? Yes.
Desperate to get her mouth back? Not quite.
7267141 Considering that they've known Pinkie for a while, I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that they DID know.
7267181
7267169 This pointless circular argument is hereby closed, terminated, and not to be continued. Thank you, please drive through.
Shouldn't that be five?
Also, I don't really think Celestia should be the one calling out anyone for nepotism, but that's just take on the show.
Also, just thought about how condescending she sounds here, forcing Rarity to hire his daughter makes him a bad father and businessman despite how it turned out in the end. But Celestia forcing Fluttershy to reform the spirit of chaos that's destroyed Equestria multiple times over, that's fine.
7270528 Flart isn't old enough to have "friends" yet.
And Celestia never forced Fluttershy to do anything. She asked.
And where do people keep getting this nepotism shit about Celestia from? Seriously.
7270540
Probably just due to the number of coincidences regarding Twilight's family and Celestia. Twilight's brother just happens to be captain of the royal gaurd and dating Celestia's niece while she's her most loyal student. Then Twilight just so happens to become a princess herself after her brother marries Cadence, Celestia's niece.
And Celestia doesn't really ask, she just shows up with Discords statue and tells them she believes in them.
7270618 Yyyyyeah absolutely nothing about the relationship between Cadance and Shining Armor or Twilight becoming an alicorn is nepotism, and people who think it is are, well...stupid.
7272080 They already tried to go into business with Sweet Apple Acres. And tried to skin them alive by asking for an unfair share of the profits. Doesn't really inspire faith in their ability to conduct business fairly. Which, incidentally, is what Twilight encouraged them to do. She just encouraged them to do it elsewhere.
7272080 You would have had a point if this postscript had been for the Super Squeezy episode. But it's not. It's based on the episode where they're literally scamming ponies with their "miracle tonic" and could've been indirectly responsible for one (or some) of them injuring themselves because of it.
7273611
Sure at the moment, but that doesn't prevent Twilight to see Lyra once she returns to Ponyville.
I like these. They feel very much like a little Omake scene...and do a good job kinda...covering for, well, quick-simple-kid's-show writing flaws.
7276135
This is all true, but that still doesn't explain why they never attempted to partner up with other apple farms when they had a working product (when they didn't overclock it).
But, and if we're going to play both the logic and legal cards, what exactly are your plans on Twilight having stolen the wills of everyone in town, turning them into her puppets (i.e. slaves) so she could have a problem to solve and send it as a report to Celestia for her to praise her for. Every other place we see mind-control its seen as a pinnacle of evil, and yet no one does anything but laugh it off when Celestia's handpicked unicorn does it.
Just saying, if you're going to be fair and just and not just knock on 'businessmen are evil' stereotype, then be fair and just.
7276158
Who says they didn't? We've only seen them in Ponyville. Nothing says in the time between their two appearances, they didn't try to strike the same deal with other apple farms across Equestria, only to be turned down for the same reason (demanding an excessive cut of the profits).
As for your Twilight example...the ponies of Ponyville are pretty forgiving, especially if the pony that creates a problem is genuinely repentant (and it's not like Twilight is the only one who ever created a massive problem for Ponyville. Hell, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity have ALL contributed their share of mayhem). It's just part of life in Ponyville. The issue here is that the Flim Flam Brothers are unrepentant con men who are severely unlikely to ever recant their habits of fleecing ponies for their own profit (outside of the comics, anyway). Twilight is justified in kicking them out of Ponyville forever and lecturing them on trying honest business for a change. There's forgiveness and then there's this.
7276213
Still true, but all the same, if your barometer on punishment based on how repentant/guilty the criminal is, then you are not really being just, but merely fair.
7277153 That's...one of the most sideways and nonsensical things I've had the displeasure of hearing.