• Published 23rd May 2016
  • 7,720 Views, 142 Comments

Sour Sweet Sorrow - Nico-Stone Rupan



After dinner one night, Mr. Sweet suddenly declares that you and he need to talk. What he has to say shocks and enrages you. Even worse, Sour Sweet overhears every bit of it.

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Chapter 2: Deep End (2ND Person)

“Oh, uh, hey,” Sour Sweet hesitantly greets you.

You frown. “Have a heavy session today? You were so excited about it before.”

“Doctor Chrysalis wants to see my dad.”

Your smile picks right back up. “Well, that sounds great! You need to start talking to him.”

Sour Sweet instantly scowled. “TALK, TALK, TALK!!! Why does everyone want me to TALK so much for, huh?! Why can’t I TALK to just those that DESERVE my attention!?!

You hold your hands out to try to calm her down. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Sour! I just meant maybe it’s not as bad as your head makes you think it is.”

Those were so the wrong words to say.

ARE YOU SAYING MY DAD INGORING ME IS ONE OF MY DELUSIONS!?!

You awkwardly avert your gaze. “Well, I, uh…”

Her hands shove roughly into your chest in frustration and she begins stomping off. You run after her.

“Wait, Sour! I’m so sorry! Of course you know more about what’s going on than I do! I’m an idiot!”

I don’t know what pisses me off more. The fact that you think this is all in my head…” Sour Sweet abruptly stops and stares down at the ground. “… or the possibility that you might be right. I hate second-guessing everything that goes on around me… or even how I feel. This is hell.”

You gently embrace her. “I know it is. You just got to listen to Doctor Chrysalis, okay?”

She looks up straight into your eyes. “But what if I don’t like everything she has to say?”

“What do you mean?” you ask, puzzled.

“She thinks… n-nothing. Just forget it. Look, just do me a favor, alright?”

“Anything.”

“Come have dinner at my house tonight. I want you to be with me when I try to talk to him.”

****************

Mr. and Mrs. Sweet always seemed to be bit of an odd couple to you. Mrs. Sweet was always fun to be around, being pretty giddy and outgoing. Mr. Sweet, on the other hand, was aloof and usually preoccupied with something involving his job. In your opinion, that was where Sour Sweet’s mind was likely getting the idea of him ignoring her from. Sure, a parent’s workaholic behavior could be annoying, but it wouldn’t necessarily be considered full-blown neglectful.

The four of you sit down for a delectable meal of vegetable lasagna. Mrs. Sweet tries her best to start table conversation with various bits of small talk. Sour Sweet stays mostly silent as she stares down at her plate. After a while, you begin to consider saying something in order to create an opening for her to speak up. That’s when you feel a tap at your hip. You look down to see Sour Sweet’s open hand. It’s shaking. Immediately catching on, you lower your hand to take it. She squeezes firmly.

“Hey, dad?” Sour Sweet speaks up.

Mr. Sweet just continues to eat.

She squeezes your hand even harder. “D-dad?”

“Honey?” Mrs. Sweet pokes her husband’s shoulder.

“Hm?” Mr. Sweet mutters.

“Sour wants you,” Mrs. Sweet sternly informs.

Mr. Sweet’s eyes lift up to his daughter.

Sour Sweet gulps. “Uh, Doctor Chrysalis said that she wants to meet with you.”

Mr. Sweet stares at her in a strange silence. His attention then abruptly goes back to eating nonchalantly. “Hm. I’ve been wondering when she would. I’ll call tomorrow to schedule.”

Sour Sweet slowly lets out the breath that she had been holding. You stroke your thumb lovingly across her hand as congratulations.

Soon, you were finished with your plate. You get up to take it along with your glass to the kitchen. Mr. Sweet also finishes with his and follows you.

As you put the plate and glass in the sink, you hear, “Let’s talk.”

You freeze and look at Mr. Sweet as he puts his plate and glass away, keeping eye contact with you at every step. This is certainly a surprise. He’s never seemed interested in you before.

“Uh, sure. What about, Mr. Sweet?”

“Sour, of course.”

You nod. “Yeah, what about her?”

“Look, you seem like a good kid. I do appreciate you keeping my daughter company all of this time, but I’m afraid it’s gotten to the point where there’s nothing more to do now.”

Your brow furrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Mr. Sweet crosses his arms. “It’s time for you to break up with her.”

Your mouth gapes. “Wh-what?”

“I don’t like this any more than you do, believe me, but Sour will need to be committed to a hospital soon where she can get the proper care that she needs. I’m sure that’s what Doctor Chrysalis is going to want to talk to me about.”

Your blood begins to boil. “I’m pretty sure that’s not what she – ”

“Haven’t you ever looked up any information about schizophrenia?”

Your fists clench. “Of course I have.”

“Then you must know what happens to a great number of schizophrenics. One website I’ve seen estimated that about half of them don’t recover, even with the treatment. Twenty percent of the half that does just ends up relapsing within a year. Developing drinking and drug abuse problems is even common for them. Face it, the odds are against her.”

It’s the way in which he's speaking these things which is enraging you the most. He’s saying them so sincerely. Does he really believe that you would think in these terms? Does he truly believe that he’s doing you some kind of solid in telling you to get out of the relationship while you can?

“What the hell is wrong with you?!" you yell. "None of that’s going to happen to Sour!”

Mr. Sweet lets out a breath of discomfort. “Look, I know everyone your age thinks they’re invincible and nothing bad is ever going to happen, but you’re going to have to deal with the real world someday. I immediately emotionally distanced myself from her when she was diagnosed to prepare for the worst and so should you now. Just give up on Sour before you get hurt. She’s a lost cause.”

You both then suddenly jump at the sound of something shattering. You look over to see Sour Sweet standing there with a broken plate and glass at her feet. Her face is hauntingly pale with shock and devastation. Her body is shaking. Tears are beginning to stream down her cheeks. Oh God, she heard everything.

Right next to Sour Sweet is her mother. She has the most pissed face you have ever seen in your life. It was even more terrifying than any of Sour’s… and it’s aimed right at her husband. She had heard everything, too.

“Sour…” Mr. Sweet utters.

Sour Sweet abruptly turns around and sprints out of the kitchen. The hard slam of the front door is heard.

You immediately begin to go after her before you feel compelled to swing back around at Mr. Sweet. Before he could react, his face is met with your right hook. He staggers back against the kitchen counter with a look of utter shock.

“I can’t believe that I thought how you’ve been treating Sour Sweet was all in her head!" you spit out. "She’s been right all along! You really are a BASTARD!!!”

With that, you turn to exit the kitchen, noting a nod of approval from Mrs. Sweet as you pass her. You dash out the front door into the night. You frantically look in all directions before finally spotting a staggering figure in the distance. You hurry up to it, thankful to see that it’s Sour Sweet.

“Sour? Are you okay?”

She says nothing, just staring off as she stumbles ahead. She seems totally out of it.

“Sour, please say something!”

“Walk…” she whispers.

“Walk? You want to go for a walk? Alright, let’s go.” You wrap your arm around her shoulder to help stable her. Perhaps the night air is what she needs to help get her over what she just heard.

Across the neighborhood and into downtown Canterlot City, Sour Sweet keeps completely silent. Adding to your heartbreak over the whole mess, you feel guilty over your own approach to the situation. In a way, you were just as bad as Mr. Sweet.

“Hey, Sour?”

No response.

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t listening to you,” you sigh, shaking your head. “I shouldn’t have been dismissing your feelings as a delusion. I promise to take what you say more seriously from now on.”

Still silence.

Your eyes search around at the shops. “Hey, uh, you want me to buy you anything? Some ice cream, maybe?”

“Walk…” you hear repeated.

You must have walked with Sour Sweet for about an hour before you reached the beach. The moon’s reflection dancing over the water along with the crashing of the waves make the scene so tranquil. You smile. A familiar setting may help her feel better.

“Hey, Sour? Remember how much fun we had hanging out here during Spring Break? I certainly remember how incredibly cute you looked in your little, green bikini. You, Sunny, Indigo, Sugarcoat, and Lemon had such a great time playing volley ball. I think I even see the spot where you buried me in the sand and just left me there for several hours. That was funny, wasn’t it?”

For the first time since you’ve been walking, Sour Sweet looks right at you. Her head then turns to survey her surroundings. A bright smile unexpectedly forms upon her face.

Oh, yes! I remember now!” She giggles in a creepy manner. “Such happy fun times!

Her sudden cheery attitude startles you a little bit. “Sour, are you feeling okay now?”

I'm feeling soooo much better!” She skips ahead and starts twirling. “I feel so free! I feel like I’m thinking more clearly than I ever have before!

“R-really?” You don’t like how she’s behaving. You have seen her like this before. Her getting depressed and her brain somehow getting locked into an unsettling chipper mood.

Yeppers! I now see everything in its proper perspective!” Her smile broadens. “Daddy was right! I AM a lost cause!

You gasp and run up to grab her by the shoulders. “What!?! No! Don’t say that! DON’T YOU DARE GET THAT STUCK IN YOUR HEAD!!!”

And this whole time dating me was your generous charity, wasn’t it?” She pats your cheek. “Aww, you’re such a kind soul.

“NO, SOUR!!! IT WASN’T CHARITY!!!”

She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s nearly over.

“Over? What’s over?! What do you mean?”

Sour Sweet’s eyes glance over to the ocean. “The waves. They sound so beautiful. So relaxing.

She begins to walk toward the water. You instantly start pacing after her.

“Sour, where are you going?”

The waves will take me somewhere better. Somewhere more peaceful.

Finally, the horrifying grasp of the situation clicks within your head.

You grab her arm firmly. “No, Sour Sweet! I’m taking you home right now! Let’s go!”

She rips her arm from your grip and continues on her path. “You’re such a dummy! Don’t you see that this is for the best for everyone?

Your heart beats faster than it ever has. You have never been put in this kind of position before. You try to keep yourself from panicking and think of something, anything to say to get her to stop.

Something does. “What about Bitter Honey?”

Sour’s feet halt. “Bitter…” she whispers under her breath. She shakes her head. “No, Bitter Honey doesn’t exist. She was just a hallucination and after I told you about it, you began to dream about her.” Her smile and walk picks right back up. “Don’t you see what’s going on? My insanity is contagious. I need to die to protect everyone.

You were now halfway down the beach.

Desperate, you latch onto her hand and begin matching her steps towards the ocean. “Fine! If you’re going to drown yourself, then I am too!”

Her unnatural smile seems to get wider at your bluff. “You don’t mean that. You go have a good life, okay?

“Sour Sweet, I have no life without you!" you declare with all the sincerity in your heart. "We’re going to go out together! Just like Romeo and Juliet! Parting would be such Sour Sweet sorrow, you know? Hey, did you hear that? I just made another corny word play with your name! Are you going to get mad? Horny? Anything?! Oh, please snap out of this, Sour!”

Sour Sweet chuckles creepily. “Dummy, literary critics universally agree that Romeo and Juliet isn’t a real love story. It’s a warning about how stupid teenage relationships can be.” Her smile suddenly falters. “Maybe Doctor Chrysalis was right. Maybe we were going too fast in ours.”

“Forget what literary critics and therapists think!" you plead. "Do they speak for us? I love you and you love me, right? That’s all that should matter, isn’t it?”

A gasp escapes your lips as you feel wetness lapping at your feet. You’ve reached the water.

You slosh right front of her. “Sour, I’m not going to let you do this! Not this big of a mistake!”

Sour Sweet’s face abruptly grows furious. She rears back and throws a punch at your face. You grab it. Both of you gape in disbelief for a second as your hand tightly grips her fist in place. You then successfully shove Sour back out of the water and topple to the sand together. You straddle yourself on top of her and pin her wrists down, effectively containing her thrashing. You have no idea whether heightened stress is feeding your strength or Sour’s emotional state is simply numbing hers. Whatever it is, though, you thank God for it.

“LET ME GO!!! LET ME DIE!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!”

“Sour Sweet, listen to me! What you’re feeling right now is going to pass! Just trust me, it’s going to pass!!!”

Her cellphone then begins to ring. You instantly let go of one of her wrists to take the phone out of her pocket. Maybe whoever’s on the other end could help talk her out of this! You try to ignore Sour’s free hand slapping your face long enough to examine the screen. “THE BASTARD” it reads. There’s only one person you know of who Sour Sweet would have in her contacts and give such a label to.

Acting on a gamble, you hit “ANSWER” and put the phone to her ear.

“Sour?” you hear Mr. Sweet’s voice ask. “Sour, where are you? Please come home. Look, I – ” A sniff is heard. Was he crying? “I can’t think of anything to say other than I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to hear the things I said. The look on your face… I-I’m just sorry, okay? I never stopped loving you, I promise. I’ve been such a coward for the last two years. A man does stupid things when he's scared. I just wanted you to get the proper care… but the proper care starts at home, doesn’t it? I realize that now. Come home. Please. I love you, baby girl.”

Sour stares upwards at you, silent and confused. You're taken a little aback to Mr. Sweet's sudden, but genuine improvement yourself. Mrs. Sweet must have employed some expert chewing out and ass kicking while you were out.

Mr. Sweet begins to sound more and more desperate. “Sour? Please say something to me! Are you there?”

You nod pleadingly for Sour Sweet to speak up.

Sour Sweet finally opens her mouth and utters, “Y-yes, I’m here. I’m coming home.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Mr. Sweet says with much relief in his voice.

The call ends. You slowly get off Sour and help her up. She then instantly wraps her arms around you.

“My love for you isn’t a delusion,” Sour Sweet promises.

The way she said that seemed to be more for her own reassurance than yours.

You escort Sour Sweet back to her house. Mr. Sweet is right there at the door, intently waiting. Just as he said he would. Despite the pained look of regret he has on his face, you still feel like informing him of just what his words almost brought about. Perhaps it would be salt in the wound, but it would be necessary salt in the wound.

You grab him by his shirt. “You listen here. You want to know what I just had to do? I just had to keep your daughter from taking a permanent plunge into the ocean because of what you said. I don’t know about Sour, but I'm giving you only one more chance. If something ever happens to her, you’re answering to ME, you understand?!”

You let go of him. Tears stream from his eyes. He instantly goes out to tightly embrace his daughter.

“I’m sorry! I am so sorry!” he manages to get out through the sobbing.

After some hesitance, Sour Sweet hugs back.

You let out a sigh of relief. You then decide to quietly take off for your home. This is something the Sweet family has to work out for themselves now. As you stroll down the sidewalk, you look up toward the sky and hope to see a better tomorrow written among the stars.

THE END

Comments ( 134 )

Ohh jeez. This is way too heavy for 2 in the morning. 3real5me. Good job on another collection of words made to entertain or provoke thought and introspection.

These stories are still great even if this one did get a little to real for me to be reading at 3:30 in the morning. Good work sir!

So much emotion, I love it! :heart:
I have nothing bad to say about this, still just as good as the rest!

Can't wait to see what they get up to next:heart:

I remember when Sour Sweet was just the exceptionally bitchy girl that was mean to Twilight. That was so long ago. Now I can't separate the name and face from the one that grips my heart every time I read one of your stories...and I think that's a good thing. Holy crap, I knew this latest story was gonna f*** me up at 1am, and I read it anyway, and I'm glad I did. What are you doing to me, you monster?

I was so expecting him to turn around and deck mr sweet before saying his piece and chase after sour

Here's the major problem with the dark -- it seems incompatible with the spirit of MLP, which is optimistic and silly. If you get too bogged down in the dark, it no longer feels like MLP, and that's where personally I check out. But on a very rare occasion, somehow, the author makes it work. I have no clue how, but those stories are the best. And I think you just pulled it off, my friend. Now I'm gonna go and spend the rest of the night analyzing it. And death, of course. Gotta think about death in the middle of the night.

kul

Now, what we need is an alternate scenario fic/chapter where they didnt make it, aka Sour's became too lost to listen to Second Person's words. Sour take him down and overpowers him, drowning him in the waistdeep seawater. She finally snaps out of it, but realized what she had done. Sorrowful, she carries him bridal style into the deep dark ocean

Words have power. I'm wondering if the words that had power in this case were 'Divorce' and 'Half of your assets plus whatever I need to care for Sour'.

It... Might be a good idea to sign Sour off sick from school for a few days. I wouldn't want her in that emotionally and spiritually toxic dump, let alone close to Cinch right now.

When I was reading, I shouted: "Sour Sweet!", my mom asked me if I was okay, and I said:"Sure,mom..."
But anyways I really liked that story.
poor Sour Sweet...
Can't wait for the next story!

that was awesome :pinkiehappy: can't what for next one P.S. u inspired me to write a fic where Bitter Honey does exsit:twilightsmile:

What if this was your delusion all along and not sour's?

Makes you rethink about the whole series , eh?:trollestia:

It really fucks me up how much Sour Sweet reminds me of myself in this series.

Well. This story got me genuinely infuriated at a fictional character. Excellent work.

It's kind of amazing how people can have a line of thought like this. I'd say 'bullshit people ain't like that' but having witnessed it firsthand it's honestly baffling, especially when they act like it's the right thing to do.

Don't lie. You're just being a selfish coward. If that's your choice, then whatever, but don't act like some damn martyr for it.

Welp that escalated quickly.:rainbowderp:
Also does this count as a relapse for sour sweet? If not then what does?:rainbowhuh:

No offense, sensitive topic and all, but this was so clichéd teenage angst, I may be farting Hot Topic accessories for a week. Holy shit this took me back.

Woah......I wonder what second persons family is thinking right now.

Wow, I'm seriously amazed at all of this especially how you've expanded on Sour Sweet's character and made her more then just how she was in the movie.

Heavy stuff, meng, :moustache:
s6.postimg.org/5pzpmopep/Pirate_Approved2.jpg

... I think I need an approval picture that doesn't include me grinning like an idiot for more serious stories like this one, :twilightblush:

It feels like the atmosphere of the story lightened up a little too quickly at the end. I would have liked it if Mr. Sweet had been kicked out of his house for a few days and then met with Doctor Chrysalis to hear what she really wanted to talk to him about, with an added dose of a Hannibal Lecture trope worthy tongue-lashing that only a psychiatrist can dish out, before he realized what an asshole he is. Even that would have turned out better for him than if he had sprung his idea to have Sour Sweet committed right after she graduated-he might not have survived the fallout.

Other than that, this was one of your best stories yet in terms of drama. You really drove home the fact that Sour and "You" still have a lot to overcome, both internally and externally, before they can truly earn their happy ending, especially since, as you've repeatedly pointed out, schizophrenia never actually "ends".

I really, really, REALLY wanted the bastard to hear what Sour Sweet tried to do.

7239674

u inspired me to write a fic where Bitter Honey does exsit:twilightsmile:

I've never said that she couldn't exist. You never know what lies in the future :raritywink:

By all means, I'd love to read it! Just remember to slap on a "Inspired by the Sour Sweet stories of Nico-Stone Rupan" notice so my ego can be stroked :moustache:

Oh my God! I love this series!!!:pinkiehappy:

7240104 :rainbowlaugh: fine i guess thats fair

Now that I'm finished I just have to pick up the shattered remains of my feels :fluttercry:

Awesome job as usual man keep up the awesome work and keep bringing the feels:pinkiehappy:

I like your stories dude

7240104 i really like ur stories dude, excellent horror

your character has spectacular self control, honestly i'm not a violent person but after a speech like that.... i'd have sent him to the IC ward.

Holy crap this was heavy. I actually felt terror grip at my heart when I read that Sour Sweet was trying to commit suicide. That was really intense.
Awesome job with this story and it's predecessors!



~ Super-Brony12

Eh, I honestly don't care for the way Sour Sweet's dialogue is formatted. It seems like a lazy way to avoid writing narration. Speaking of which, I think your writing would benefit from an increase in the amount of narration, because right now it feels wildly unbalanced towards the dialogue. There are long passages where the characters aren't actually doing anything because it's nothing but dialogue. That kind of thing tends to hurt the immersion because everything except the words fade away.

It speaks volumes when a several months ago boyfriend is more of a man for your daughter than you, her own father, Mr. Sour.

The feels are strong with this one...:fluttercry:

I love this series, and I can't wait to see what you come with next! :twilightsmile:

Goddamn, this is easily the most intense story of the series. Well done.

Aww, I wanted to see Mr. Sweet suffer. Anyways, I'm glad Sour Sweet is alright. :twilightsmile:

Still think you like Shadowbolt adventures, cause this went dark 0_o

7240358

Speaking of which, I think your writing would benefit from an increase in the amount of narration, because right now it feels wildly unbalanced towards the dialogue.

The dialogue along with the overall idea of the story are what's important to me, personally. Not a bunch of pointless paragraphs of filler.

There are long passages where the characters aren't actually doing anything because it's nothing but dialogue. That kind of thing tends to hurt the immersion because everything except the words fade away.

Exactly. It's called intimacy. It's about the characters and their drama. Nothing else matters. Think of it as reading the text of a play. There's a great freedom to it because you're using your own imagination to fill in what's happening while the dialogue is going. I apply that same principle to my short stories.

“No, Bitter Honey doesn’t exist. She was just a hallucination and after I told you about it, you began to dream about her.”

technically he dreamed about her before he was told

YOU DAMNED FUCKED UP BOY!
Your daughter, your own flesh and blood, almost committed suicide because of YOU.

7240619 No, he was told before the dream just as the line says and as was implied in conversation within Sour Sweet Dreams.

7240584
A play cuts out the "filler" and replaces it with
[Scene: Location] (set dressing)
[Stagr directions] (Character does and says X)

7240688

A play cuts out the "filler" and replaces it with
[Scene: Location] (set dressing)
[Stagr directions] (Character does and says X)

Yes. Only the basic and important details. Just like I try to do with my prose.

Even though this is supposed to be read and perceived in 2nd person, you have done such a marvelous job in creating a character out of these stories that can capture the feelings of the read while still being an individual within the context of the story,

It is as if the "reader" character is representing everyone, yet at the same time becoming a separate character fitted for the story.

7240710 Which is not a story. This shouldn't have passed submission.

7240769 it tells events in a coherent timeline, thus making a story, and therefore allowed past submission.

7240884 Don't feed the trolls. That was my mistake, too.

7240959

Did you just call me a troll?

Edit: Really. If you called me a troll, I want to know.

7241108 No, Unpopular Opinion Trixie. I should have guessed by the name :facehoof:

7241347 Whether it is or isn't, they decided to throw out that concern in the end. That's the important thing.

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