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After a mysterious earthquake ravages Ponyville overnight, Fluttershy rushes to town in search of survivors. Her friends tell her to keep a safe distance, but once Fluttershy hears a weak voice calling for "help" from inside a deep, dark rift, she realizes that she can't leave.

A story commissioned by Lunarius.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 59 )

Shiiiiiiiiitt
Twilight's fiiine. Luna didn't snap her neck. SHE'S FINE.:fluttershysad:

That was short, but sweet.
It also leaves a ridiculous amount of question.
What the hell are Celestia and Luna?
What does this mean for Nightmare Moon? Perhaps this was just one epic plot to gain the trust of the nation, and create more corrupted entities?
What is Twilycorn? Is she truly a pony or merely a puppet?
What does Zecora know?
Will Fluttershy be removed in the same way they executed Twilight?

SS&E, you are a monster.

7232498 its an SSE minific. Those questions will all go unanswered.

.....WHAT'S GOING ON????

Who's in a bunker, who's in a bunker?

Good work as usual, Shortskirts.

My guess as to what's going down (and I'm probably completely wrong) is that Starswirl's spell had certain destructive properties to it when Twilight cast it. In an effort to both control the magic and save Twilight, the sisters cloned her or something (hence Twilight's line about feeling torn apart or whatever), so that they could use her as a tool to contain the damage while also letting 'Twilight Sparkle,' y'know, survive.

What we're seeing here is the original Twilight who got caught with the short end of the stick and is then axed off by the sisters now that her role in preventing complete destruction is finished.

Yep, Dark tag is fitting.

I think it could've used a tad more meat on its bones, though I'm aware it's big for a mini-fic.

Still, I liked it, just for the creepy factor. The idea that Fluttershy may never know the truth yet always feel that something is wrong is delightfully unsettling.

The dialogue is quite wooden, especially from Rainbow Dash, and it's a little too vague for my tastes, but the descriptions and creepy factor are where this fic shines.

What the fuck!?

Fascinating, all the more so because Twilight isn't the most reliable source. After all, after months of starvation and isolation, she could easily be delusional. Not to say that the sisters don't have some explaining to do, but the situation may not be as Twilight believed.

Of course, that's just me desperately trying to find a lighter interpretation to this. In any case, a very intriguing piece. I'm going to need to spend more time thinking about this one before I have a solid grip on it.

Still, there's one thing that has me scratching my head: Why were the pegasi using buckets instead of clouds?

Ponies don't become Alicorns.

Alicorns hatch from Ponies.

this was very good, although I hope I stop shivering soon.

This fridge horror is very justified. We've seen the implications of years of immortality explored and the subtle changes that ascension may bring immediately, like hearing prayers, a different diet/schedule, or perspective. But there is something unsettling about our worst fears realizing so soon. The insanity and darkness of ascension is not something that you grow or are corrupted into, here it's a sudden transformation.

I could have guessed that the pony she finds is her friend from a different time, but not the rest.

Hahaha-what-the-fuck-did-i-just-read-hahaha

What the hell is this.
I can't even.. What happened to Twi?
Huh

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

It's good, but...
I AM SO CONFUSED :derpyderp2:

SS&E

I don't get it.

one I've got a question. Fluttershy was flying over the treetops then lost momentum then skidded on the ground. How? did she plummet?, glide?
(I'm not asking for an interpretation from the readers. it's actually I'm wondering it SS&E missed something)

but more importantly
Am I supposed to care about these characters?
If Twilight is so completely the same why should I care if Twilight, or Fluttershy for that matter, is the old one or the new one she's acting the same.

If you're asking me to care that the princess are evil and so thorough in the execution of their machinations. That there isn't anything that ponies can do about it. There is no kink in the amour of the sealing. No chance that princesses will be found out. After all Fluttershy's eyes shown like the sun could only mean that Celestia successfully sealed Fluttershy. And now that Twilight the unicorn is dead there is no one that knows of their evil. We can't even assume the Twilight the unicorn is the original and not a copy. Or that Fluttershy at the end is the same as the beginning of the story. Ultimately I as a reader become apathetic on the story. 'bad things happen to ponies and nothing good comes of it'. No it's worst! nothing comes it. The characters act the same they see each other the same as before. If I can't tell what or who to care about why should I care at all?

Now if they didn't successfully seal Fluttershy then...
As you probably know. That's why at many endings of horror stories. The antagonist is shown either continuing or not fully destroyed. Thus allowing the continuation of the story. Here in this story I believe it should be the reverse. This is a Crapsaccharine World therefore the 'good' guys should be shown not completely corrupted or in this case sealed. Without someone being a witness to it. (other than the princesses or us the readers) , it might as well be a Saccharine World. And currently this story doesn't have one. IMHO of course.

........So, Princess Twilight wasn't actually Twilight but a clone instead and Luna and Celestia knew all along?

...I can dig it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Dayyyyyum.

You sure know how to take a prompt and make it gold.

~Skeeter The Lurker

7232505

You could look at it like that...

Or you could imagine your own continuation to it. Best part of a Skirts minific, I think.

~Skeeter The Lurker

REDDICK MEETS MLP:twilightoops:

You keep what you kill.:facehoof::trollestia:


:moustache: Dude that was dark

:duck: Quite Pitch Black darling

I love that the comment section is collectively just:
Whaaaaat theeeeeee Fuuuuuuuuck?

7233355 funny that you mention it, I read the last two lines as implying just that.
Fluttershy flies limply because she knows something is wrong, and Twilight picks up on this body language making her want to find out what. Hence the staring into space/ being lost in thought.

7232777
That would be my interpretation of events as well. Maybe sometimes the shells don't crack completely, the way they're supposed to. Then you have to find them and clean up properly.

Cleanliness is after godliness, and all that.

7233512 Okay, then I imagine the part where Hulk smashes the 'princesses' until we get answers.

Alright, so Fluttershy's eyes glowing gold means that she was sealed? Is that what we're supposed to glean from this?

...s'okay. I enjoyed it. Too bad Twicorn doesn't know she's a phony pony.


7233705

Of course, if you want to imagine the Dark Conspiracy's wheels coming off, there's still an unfired Chekhov's gun in this scenario...

Fluttershy's pal.

Discord.

7233909 Now that you mention it, Celestia and Luna were tangled up in those annoying but otherwise mostly nonthreatening vines for an awfully long time. The plot thickens.

A fic from SS&E that is under four-thousand words? And is a commission piece?

You feelin' alright, buddy?

But, for real, this was a good read. Nothing groundbreaking or earth-shaking, but good and interesting.

Okay. So, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED???!!!:flutterrage:

God, this is so much more confusing than Inception, and I actually was able to understand it.

7232777
Good theory, but still a little weird to me.

There are so many questions.

But great fic overall... intriguing would be the best word to describe this.

Holy fucking shit its very rare for a story to keep me this hooked. Please make it go on or at least do some kind of explanation, or did you write this with no purpose just for the sake of it?

PS: Please dont type the special effects of the world around, it only breaks immersion

This is okay for a short story but I don't really see a point to it. At the end, we're in the same situation we were to begin with and we got too few real answers to what was going on. I liked it but it wasn't amazing.

There's keeping your readers in the dark and then there's just not telling them anything. Some of the things presented have absolutely no context and the story suffers for it. What shell? Starswirl's spell? Are we talking about the one from Magical Mystery Cure? Then what do they mean it "never ended"? What was ANYTHING that happened? Uni-Twilight is obviously involved with some greater plot involving leylines, dark magic, not being able to trust anyone. But we don't get to see any of it and aren't given an explanation, so it doesn't mean anything. And then character we're seeing all this through forgets it all. So what was the point to all of this?

Oh, that confusion hammer is coming right for me...

OH! THAT CONFUSION HAMMER IS -- wham

What the hell, man?

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK?!

The whole mystery feel. I think I get why you didn't specify about Twilight. It was to keep the readers guessing, huh?

I'm not a fan of this story. Aside from being ridiculously dark, it feels like it's abusing the mystery tag. When I see the mystery tag, I expect a puzzle to be solved. This story, on the other hand, simply has several unexpected things happen and then never explains why they happened. It's really more random than anything else.

Deliciously creepy. Nicely done.

Not quite sure how I feel about this story. The premise sounds really awesome, but there's not enough meat in the story to give it substance.

And damn, between this story and Ponies on a Monorail, Starswirl's book is a gateway to terror.

During life when some change occurs we bury our past selves only to be preserved in the recesses of our minds and tangible pictures and writing. These things only last so long and become more twisted versions of themselves due to imperfect memory. It is foolish to actively destroy our past selves; however, because this will only bring these memories to the forefront of our minds. I'm decently sure this is the moral of the story.

What did I just read? WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?:derpyderp2:

Uhhh....

Well, this raises quite a few questions that will probably never be answered, but...that was some pretty good spook.

Yeah, thanks for that SS&E. I wouldn't have read this if it had the proper tagging. Now I feel like shit.
You're supposed to use the Tragedy tag when there's a main character death, dammit. So that people that don't want to see that don't get tricked into reading it.
This is like tagging a clopfic with foalcon in it with the Sex tag and not mentioning anywhere in the synopsis or character tags that it contains foalcon. That's not okay.

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