The Average

by Short Stories

Breaking Beauty

They returned three minutes later, Rarity looking better than a model and Pinkie bearing all sorts of spy equipment. "Uh..." Twilight scrunched her nose and pointed at the black jumpsuit and huge orange goggles Pinkie had on, along with the grappling rope she carried. "What's..what's all that?"

"Plan 'D', silly!" Pinkie giggled, quickly followed by an "oooo, that rhymed!"

Twilight nodded, not sure if she really wanted to know what 'Plan D' was. "And, Rarity?" She asked, gesturing towards all the makeup and new dress she sported. "Care to explain...?"

Rarity chuckled at Twilight's naivety, gesturing at nothing in particular. "Twilight, darling, this is the way I do business." She paused, realizing what she had said, then blushed. "In a...respectful manner, of course." She added, almost as an afterthought, "just, come with me, let me try my way of convincing him."

They followed her towards the classroom, the five about to go in when Rarity suddenly held out a hand and pulled Twilight in, closing the door behind her. "Uhhh..."Twilight pointed her finger towards the door since she figured her words weren't going to work for her at the moment.

Rarity raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Most of them might be a tad...distracting for this to work." She scoffed and flipped her hair, turning around. "Besides, this is just for you, isn't it? They can watch from the outside." She walked up to Cranky's desk, who had been looking quite irritated ever since they came in, yet didn't bother to raise his head, even after Rarity cleared her throat and said his name. She sighed and took the paper he was working on, put it on one of the front desks, and put her hands on her hips; fed up with his attitude.

He growled, slamming his hands down on the desk and stood up, about to retrieve the paper. "Whaddya wa--" he stopped mid-sentence as he finally looked at Rarity. He sat back down, forgetting all about the paper. Twilight and him shared the same slack-jawed face, while Rarity gave Twilight a quick wink and continued on with her plan.

She walked behind the teacher, picked up the eraser , then walked to the other side of him. "So sorry to interrupt your day again, Mr. Doodle," she sighed, "but, that paper can wait, can it not?" He nodded like a mindless drone and, again, Rarity beamed at Twilight, enthused her tactic was working. Outside the door, five faces pressed against the window, trying to see what would happen next. "And, this silly chalkboard..." she mused, her attention back on the teacher. "Why, you wouldn't want it to be messy for the last couple days of school, would you?" Cranky simply shook his head, staring off into space. As he did, she quickly erased the message on the board and set the eraser down in the little tray. She then did a quick scan through all the papers piled up on his desk until she found Twilight's test. She put it in front of him, putting the other papers on different desks around the classroom in slight fear it would somehow distract him. "Oh, Mr. Doodle," she sighed, doing a fake swoon, "it would make me ever so happy if you'd let Twilight retake her test. I promise she won't disappoint." She got in front of his desk and put on the best face she could. "Would you do that, just for me?" She asked him, "don't worry," she added quickly, "it'll just be our little secret."

Cranky, again, nodded, still staring off into space and Rarity wiped the test out from under him before he got out of her spell and handed it to Twilight. She hadn't noticed, however, the classroom door that, while before had been sealed shut, was now slightly ajar, and ten hands grabbed at it, making sure it stayed put as ten eyes watched the scene like it were an entertaining movie. Suddenly, Rainbow pumped a fist in the air and gave a cheer of joy. "All right, Rarity!"

This, obviously, startled Rarity, Twilight, and Cranky alike, bringing him out of his trance and making the two girls in the classroom look at him with fear. The first thing he noticed was his desk was clear. Hope started up in his heart before he looked around the classroom, wondering if all of it was finally over. Then he noticed three things all at once; Rarity, handing a sheet of paper to Twilight, the five bulky paper stacks now ten and on half of the classroom desks, and five familiar faces staring at him through the door crack.

Rarity and Twilight were soon scrambling over each other to try and get out first as a furious Cranky started stomping about, gathering his papers, staying strangely silent all the while, making the whole experience even more terrifying. Once they were out in the hallway, Cranky turned his head towards them with a gaze that chilled them all to the core. "Stay out of my room when school is over," he said, "don't you ever let me see you in here again." He stood up and walked over to Rarity, snatching the test out of her hand. "It would make me ever so happy," he mocked through clenched teeth. "Understood?"

"Oh, yes, I completely--" the door slammed in her face before she could finish her sentence. Twilight, who had been just a foot away from the fashionista, sighed and drooped against a wall. The others shook their heads in disapproval, mainly at Rainbow, minus a certain pink human, who was glancing at Twilight with concern.

"Come on, now!" She said cheerfully as she appeared upside down next to Twilight; she loosened her leg's grasp on a low-hanging light and casually slipped down to a sitting position next to her, breaking the laws of gravity for a split second so she wouldn't land on her head. "No need to feel sad when this isn't even over yet!"

Twilight, somewhat used to Pinkie's randomness, offered a snort, as she knew the girl was just trying to cheer her up. She looked down at the floor and sighed again. "Didn't you hear what he said, though?" She asked, casting her eyes up to Pinkie once more.

"Yeah!" Pinkie beamed, "he was all like 'stay out of my room when school is over.'" As she repeated his words, her face somehow scrunched into an image of the teachers, which was a little horrifying to say the least, and her voice changed to a perfect impression of the owner's. "'don't you ever let me see you in here again.'" Her face and voice returned to normal as she continued. "Then Rarity was all like 'Of course, I--' then the door slammed in her face before she could continue, then--"

Twilight put a hand, signaling her to stop. "Yeah, I know," she smiled, "The point is, Pinkie, he said 'don't you ever let me see you in here again.'" She did air quotes around his words, then let her hands relax again. "We might as well give up now."

Pinkie raised an eyebrow at her friend pessimist mood. "I don't think you do." She said, her gentle tone covering her harsh words. When she got a confused look, she explained a little more. "Don't let him see us in there again." Pinkie said, "we can go in, we just can't be seen." Her eyes squinted on the last word and her fingers wiggled in excitement.

"Uhhhh......"

"You're gonna need this..." Pinkie said as she grabbed another spy suit out of her poofy mane and threw it onto Twilight; the scientific girl looked down at herself and noticed she was now wearing the suit. "And this..." Pinkie then gave her a pair of goggles and some grappling rope. "And this." The last item she handed Twilight was a pair of latex gloves. Twilight glanced at Pinkie, curious as ever, yet Pinkie just smiled back and stood up, offering a helping hand.

Twilight decided to stand up on her own, brushing herself off with one hand. "What are you planning, Pinkie?"

Pinkie dropped her hand to her side and looked at Twilight with a blank expression. "We're gonna break in and get the test back."

"What?!" The supplies she carried dropped to the floor in a loud clutter as she lurched forward in an attempt to grab Pinkie by the shoulders.

"All we need now is a distraction..." Pinkie turned away from the shocked student, ignoring her cry. Her fingers tapped against each other as her eyes surveyed the hallway on what she could make distracting.

Before she could look any longer, Twilight spun her around and looked her in the eye. "You're joking, right?" She asked in a frantic manner. "Tell me you're joking."

"Okay." Pinkie smiled, "I'm joking." As she said this, she barely heard a chair roll against the wood and creak under additional weight. She turned her attention towards the door and beamed, thinking distraction found. She shooed Twilight away and turned around to face the girls. She then began pacing back and forth like an army sergeant, hoping she could tell them what to do quick enough before the teacher came out. "Girls," she said, "I'm gonna need you to stall the teacher from entering the room once he leaves." She stopped pacing and stared at them, dead serious. "Make sure he doesn't see us inside." She reached to the side and grabbed a stunned Twilight, raising her grappling hook above her head. "If I don't make it back," she added in a gravely voice, "tell Mrs. Cake to save some pie for me." With that, she let the rope go and she and Twilight zoomed up into an open air duct.

Cranky came out of his room two seconds later, saw the five girls still there, and rubbed his temples.

~*~

"What are we doing?" Twilight asked as she crawled behind Pinkie; the tight, metal walls of the duct made her claustrophobia hike up and she was trying er hardest to not freak out and expose them.

"We're breaking and entering." She said; Twilight could hear the joy in her words. "Weren't you paying any attention?"

Twilight's eyes widened, she stopped crawling. "Pinkie." She said, making the party girl stop, too. "You told me you were joking."

Pinkie giggled at Twilight's reaction and continued forward, albeit slower than she was going before. "No, silly, you told me to tell you I was joking." She stopped to looked down at the air vent she had come across; it was over the center of the classroom, but she could see Cranky's desk if she tilted her head just right. Bingo. "So I did." She finished, almost forgetting she was saying something in the first place. She looked back at Twilight, who was still in the same shocked position. Pinkie raised an eyebrow as she skillfully took out the air vent with a screwdriver and led a rope down to a safe height. "You coming?" She asked.

"No." She said, "I don't want you or me to get in trouble on my behalf."

Pinkie lifted her head at the abrupt tone, decided to shake it off. "Could you at least hold this rope for me so I won't get hurt?" Twilight glanced in her direction, then started crawling towards her, if only to keep the girl somewhat safe. Once the rope was firmly in her grasp, Pinkie smiled and began her way down.

~*~

"What was that noise?" Cranky asked them, looking around to try and see who caused it.

All he got was a bunch of nervous faces in return. "Nothing," Sunset said quickly, "nothing of concern."

"Really?" He asked, "what's with all this mess, then?" He gestured towards Twilight's dropped spy equipment, "and don't tell me it's 'nothing of concern', because clearly, it's something I should be worried about."

"Props," Fluttershy mumbled, causing all attention to go on her.

"What?" Cranky asked, the girl's expressions mirroring his question.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Fluttershy whispered, hiding herself behind her hair and the group, her face pink from all the sudden attention. "I'll just...be back here..."

Cranky sighed, closed his eyes, trying to calm himself before speaking again. "Just..." he said, gesturing towards the spy equipment again, "just clean this up. It better be gone by the time I'm done at four." He was about to go back to his classroom when a loud crash made everyone jump. It didn't take long for them to figure out it came from Cranky's room, and Rainbow quickly ran towards the door to block him from heading inside. "What was that?!" He asked aloud, fixing his attention on the prism haired girl. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing." Rainbow said abruptly. The others shot death glares at her, and she crossed her arms in an attempt to make up for it.

Cranky took a step forward. "Why are you leaning against my door, then?"

"Uhh..." She cast a pleading look of help to the rest, but they just shrugged helplessly, slightly irritating her. "I'm....leaning against a door?" She asked slowly, "Wow....that's super weird." A nervous laugh escaped her, "I never would have guessed..."

"That is pretty weird." Cranky said sarcastically. "Please, Rainbow; just move." Rainbow sighed, knowing she really couldn't do anything else and stepped away, hoping Pinkie would understand. Cranky took a couple steps forward until he was at the door and turned the handle, revealing a slightly shaken Pinkie slinking up to his desk.

She turned towards the door, frozen like a deer in headlights once she heard the creak and, once the shock wore off, quickly ran back to the center of the classroom and started climbing up the rope. He noticed that a desk had been flipped over and quickly realized Pinkie must have landed on it if she had used the air duct to get to the classroom.

"Pinkie!" He yelled, making the pink girl stop, "what is the meaning of this?!"

"Uhhh..." Pinkie looked in all directions, never once meeting his. "Plan D?"

Cranky pointed towards the hallway, where everyone else crowded around to see what was going on. "I should have known something was wrong when I saw five of you out there instead of seven." He growled; "now, I'm going to have to ask you and Twilight to get out of my air vents, and out of my classroom."

"Can we be above your air vents?" Pinkie asked, another idea hatching inside her.

"Out!"

Pinkie frowned and slid down the rope, then tugged it twice. "Hey, Twi?" She called remorsefully into seemingly nothingness, "Cranky saw me. You're gonna have to go back and get out on your own."

There was no response except for the rope being pulled higher and higher until it disapeered completely and some shifts of the metal as Twilight turned back around. Cranky glared at Pinkie as she made her way out to the hallway. Once there, he told them all he didn't want them anywhere in his classroom from that point forward and slammed the door to their faces.

"What now?" Applejack asked, "we tried nearly everything."

Pinkie looked down at the floor; she was positive that her plan would had worked; though why she ignored her Pinkie sense of something about to fall; a twitchy leg, was beyond her. "I don't know..." she moaned, "is there anything left to try?"

They all pondered over what else to try for the longest time, until Sunset snapped her fingers, a smile on her face. "Well, I know we've tried honesty," she said, "but, why not a different type?"

As the girls waited for her to elaborate, Twilight came plummeting out of the air vent, landing on a random mattress Pinkie had somehow placed before they had left.

Author's Note:

Breaking and Entering *suggested* by LaryTheKableGuy

I'll try to not take a month for the next chapter. I put my other story on hold so I can finish up this one.

Comments

[RNBW]

Can you make Cranky suffer? I want to see Cranky suffer!!

[psvitafanboy222]

I remember reading this. I can't remember why I didn't add it to any of my lists.

[Short Stories]

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I'll make him nicer in the next chapter. XD

But, imagine it from his point of view: he has three days to get more than 100 late assignments in to his supervisors [or wherever teachers turn them in], so he's already pretty stressed out enough. Then, seven girls come in, trying to manipulate him in different ways to get this one student [that he doesn't care about at the moment; not to sound mean or anything, of course] a re-take on a test, even though he's already told all of them that she can't b/c he's not taking late assignments any more, yet they keep trying, putting more and more stress on him with each attempt.

That, and he's had a stressful day already with similar situations.

I don't know about you, but I'd start to snap after "Plan D".

But, if that still doesn't convince you to not beat him up, remember what he literally is in the Pony-verse.

I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll definitely make him nicer in the next chapter.

[RNBW]

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You're right, he's a donkey. So...