• Published 18th Jun 2012
  • 2,061 Views, 61 Comments

The Lullaby of the Lich - Gearhorn

Ever have a girl decide you were going to be her boyfriend? Well a certain unnamed protagonist dd.

  • ...

Everypony was Kong-Fu fighting, well I was at least....

Soldiers in front of me, civvies behind me and a mix on either side. Okay, so from what I was seeing it wasn’t actually all the town. Some faces weren't there, but it was probably most of them, and they were rather well armed. I guess living in the heart of the Everfree made owning a weapon a necessity..

“Well it could be worse. It could be raining.” I said quietly but apparently not quietly enough for what ever god it is that controls situational irony not to hear. ‘Great now my blood tendrils will be harder to use, with the rain water diluting it’ I thought. Seeing the crowd slowly closing in on me, I relax. “So you plan on killing a foal?” I said in a conversational tone. This caused them to stop walking forward and instead to start talking among themselves. Pro tip always throw your enemy off their game if you have the chance, and if you don't have a chance make one.

“Are we really going to kill her?” One woman says.

“She is a vampire! Of course we are!” A man whispers back harshly

“So because I am different I deserve death?” I say nonchalantly trying as hard as I could not to smirk. This caused a lot more whispering between everypony present.

“Why are we doing this again?” Ask a sexually ambiguous voice.

“To rid the world of a bloodthirsty beast!” Shouts a man. If you are wondering why I don’t describe the ponies it’s because I had my eyes closed. I was just listening for any sudden hoof movements and closing my eyes helps me think.

“She doesn’t look like a beast to me.” Said a woman's voice.

“Blitzkrieg lost in a fight against her!” Shouted one of the soldiers.

“Really Blitzkrieg lost to a foal?”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Did she really beat you in a fight, Blitz?”

“She drained so much blood from the Captain, that he passed out. She’s a demon!” Accused Blitz while completely avoiding the question of whether or not he lost to me in a fight. This caused even more whispering from the crowd. On a side note in the thirty minutes or so this had been going on the sky had cleared and there was a rainbow. It was quite pretty.

Oh, right the mob. Well they were still arguing a bit mostly about whether I should be burned, decapitated, or the traditional stake through the heart. Seeing things weren't going to end well I decided to speak up. “Just for your information I didn’t mean to drain the captain of that much blood. Actually would someone send him to the Doc? Don’t want him to die from blood loss.” After hearing this a soldier ran off toward the barracks. I think it was Silver Sword. “Also just you know double checking, you are planning on killing me right?”

“Yeah you're going down, bitch!” Shouts the ever loveable Blitzkrieg. This was met with a few audible agreements, looks of determination, and many a raised weapon.

“Ok. I recommend all non combatants leave now for I can not be certain of your safety if you stay.” A few nearby ponies started inching closer to me. “Hey” I said pointing at one of them. “Yeah, you! Give people time to clear out if they don’t want to fight.” No one moved. “Fine.” I said starting to channel energy through my body. My skin started glowing red and a pentagram started to twirl around my feet with a eerie breeze coming out nowhere to blow my hair. This freaked out more than a few ponies. “So you know how you were saying I was a vampire?” I said while running a spell in my head. “Well you were wrong” I said singsongly. “ I am actually a lich, or in laypony terms a demon. A creature right out of Tartarus and guess what, I actually came here to help you. But since you’re all gettin’ VERY MUCH on my nerves, so I will be kicking your faces in first. Have a nice nap. OH and ‘SUMMON KINDLE’!” I said finally getting through the incantation I had been running in my head. Oh and just fyi the only reason I could do this was because of a set of runes I had inscribed on his bones. That set alone had took a hour to carve, and had been drawing magic for a while before it was full.

Anywho, with my drake mount summoned it was time to have fun. First target Blitz. I was more than a little tempted to just roast him and say it was a accident, but through much effort resisted. I ran forward quickly reaching Blitz, I dodged around his sword and rammed him back into three other people knocking them all to the ground. I simply hopped in the air and delivered a hoof to each of their faces. Jumping off I kicked another guard in the face. The momentum carried me over a attacking pitchfork and grabbed its wielder by the mane. Flipping over him and threw him into a group that was just getting up from Kindle using tail whip.

Dodging yet another sword thrust I knock another pony out, with a jab to the chin. I was actually getting kind of bored. Seeing that Kindle was taking a bit of damage I sent him up to fight with a crazy pegasus that had made me take a arrow, to make sure it didn’t kill the pony behind me. I don’t think he realized friendly fire is perma on in realz. Being the only ground target there were even more ponies trying to attack me. Dodging under one attack two more came at me. I deflected one and whipped out my blood tendril to cut through the handles of half a dozen weapons. Then followed through quickly with a blunt version of the attack to the ponies themselves, throwing many of the ponies flying backwards. Kindle flew by hitting several of the ponies with his tail. Knocking a few of them out. The fight slowly got easier, with fewer and fewer getting back up after being knocked down. Then there were none getting back up, I had won.

“Pheeeeew! That was a lot harder than I thought it would be but on the bright side I have a new high score.” I said somewhat happy after beating all of those ponies senseless.

“What exactly happened here?” Came a voice a few minutes later.

“Um...They slipped” I lied. I mean its pretty obvious what happened. I was standing with a circle radiating out around me of unconscious ponies. To top it off I still had my bone drake there and there was a arrow sticking through my knee, with a blood tendril sticking out of the wound. Seeing the other pony, I quickly pulled the blood back inside my body.

“They all just slipped?”

“There were a lot of banana peels.” I said sincerely.

“So they all slipped on bananas and got knocked out?”

“Yeah, it was quite horrible.”

“So where did the bone drake come from?” He said trying hard not to laugh.

“The bananas summoned him.” I deadpanned. He just started laughing.

“Yeah and I used to be a street fighter like you...” He paused to look down at my knee and inside my mind I started screaming. ‘ PLEASE NO ANYTHING BUT THAT! NONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!’ “until I took a arrow, to the knee!” He proudly proclaimed at the end. A piece of me died that day.

“So you’re from earth?” I asked not sure how to feel about it.

“Yeah you?”

“Yup, also from earth.”

“So, what is your name mysterious street fighting pony?”

“Name is Red Tide, current ruler of Pony Worth!”

“Ok ‘Ruler of Pony Worth’, I am named Mad Science. You know in case you were wondering, and I was actually on my way to see the Doctor in case you wanted to tag along.”

“Sure. I have to report to him that there are nearly a hundred people beat senseless, that may or may not need medical attention waiting for him.”

“I am sure he will love to hear that.” he said sarcastically. “Though I was thinking more along the lines of having that arrow looked at.” he sounded a bit worried

“This will heal in no time, but hey, when I asked the blacksmith were to find you he told me you were dead.” I said.

“He actually said I was dead?”

“No. Now that I think about it he just pointed toward the cemetery when I asked were you were.”

“Oh. You probably couldn’t see it, but I have a underground complex I live in near there, was built a while back, in case things get too dire up here. WAIT! You are new so you probably don’t have anywhere to stay. Why not stay at my underground fortress? I have clean guest rooms last I checked, running water, and the building doesn't have a draft. Heck you could just hang out there till we all get killed if you want to. All I ask is for help with a few chores every once in awhile.”

“What kind of chores?”

“Oh nothing much pick up item A. Drop off item B. Kill manticores, and bring me back their tails, that kind of thing. So what you say?” He asked clearly hoping I would say yes. I doubt too many of the soldiers would want to collect manticore tails for a pony named Mad Science.

“Yeah that sounds great. I’ll stop by after I get done looking around town some more” Oh, nearly forgot to tell you what he looked like. He was a average sized pony with lean muscle. He had lightning blue fur. His mane was black with a zig zag white streak in it and for his cutie mark he had a diamond with a lightning bolt in it.

“Okay.” Then there was akward silence till we reached the office. Which luckily wasn’t that long. “Hey Doc you in there?”

“Shhhh! Captain has a headache." The doctor wispered. "Seems he got a really bad case of anemia all of the sudden, strangest thing I ever saw. Still not sure why it happened, I even had to give him one of the last blood packs we had.”

“That’s cool and all Doc, but I think Science here wants to talk to you about something. Oh, and most of the villagers have been knocked unconscious a little ways from the barracks.”

“Wait, what?”

“Hurry and get your stuff Doc, I’ll talk to you on the way to treat the villagers. From what I have seen most of the injuries are blunt impact and a few minor cuts. Best not to make it wait though.” Said Mad Science.

“Fine. Let me just grab my bag.” Finding his bag he left, to treat all the poor hurt ponies, or in other words, to fix my mess.


“Here” I hear him say weakly.

“Hey how ya feelin’?”

“Not that great.” He says giving me a glare.

“Heheheh” I laugh nervously. “Sorry about that, I really didn’t think that would happen.”

“That I would pass out after losing nearly half my blood?” I whistle.

“Wow. That much?”

“Yeah that much.” He was not a happy pony.

“Sorry, I didn’t think the whole stopping part of drinking blood would be so hard. On the bright side at least no one can say you aren't sweet.” I half heartedly joke. He facehoofs, which seems to only make his headache worse.

“So, what have you been up to since you nearly killed me?” He was still not a happy pony.

“Um, well I may have gotten in a tiny itty bitty fight.” I said nervously

“Really Silver Sword said that you had most of the town ready to lynch you.” HE KNEW. He knew and he was dragging it out. F U CAPTAIN FLUFFY!

*Sigh* ”Fine a mob of townies and most of your soldiers tried to kill me after ‘finding out’, I was a vampire. I then proceeded to summon a bone drake and knock them all unconscious.” I could tell he was about to tell me off. Wouldn’t blame him if he did, but I didn’t give him a chance to talk. “I did try to talk them out of it though, AND I even had to make sure some of the less intelligent ones didn’t kill their own allies. Look I took a arrow to the knee” I said holding up my leg. I flinched a little at this. Partially because of the pain caused by the awkward angle and the arrow. Partially because I said ‘I took a arrow to the knee’ and felt like my soul died a little.

“That looks painful”

“Yeah it kinda is.” I mean I am used to pain. Being beaten up every day for a while does that, BUT being shot by an arrow is still NOT fun. Though I didn’t feel the pain while fighting, or even walking back, but once I thought about it and realized I should be feeling pain, I did. Not even sure how that works. Guess I will have to research that later. “So how long till you're allowed to leave?” I ask.

“I think Doctor Cross said I would have to be here for a few hours. Why?”

“Well, I have to heal this.” I said breaking off the arrow head, and pulling the shaft out the other way, causing me to take a sharp intake of breath from the pain. My knee started to turn red as I used magic to heal the skin over, so as not to bleed on stuff. “It should also take a few hours so” I roll over over into a nearby bed. “we have time to talk.”

“I suppose we do.” He says not sounding all that happy about the prospect.

“And I really am sorry about nearly killing you, I really didn’t mean to.” I said looking at him giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes, the kind that only children and small animals can pull off, but he wasn't having any of it. He was a stone wall, Stone Wall Fluffy....yeah.....