• Member Since 5th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2023

superpurple


...but like, bluer than that, and more ungular.

T
Source

A student is accidentally transported to Equestria through a crystal mirror. Lost and confused in an unfamiliar world, he struggles to get home. Circumstances conspire to make things difficult. The ponies he meets do the opposite.


Story starts between Season 6 and Season 7. After Equestria Girls: Friendship Games but before Legend of Everfree and the EqG specials.

Rated teen for language. Preread/edited by no one (in case it wasn't obvious). Cover art by some nerd.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 153 )

Looks good, sounds good... So, is it good? We'll find out.

Ooh, things are getting interesting.

"How'd you get in here?!"
'But... The mirror...'*blarg*:rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowderp:Oooh? Sounds like this guy's made a Beta Gate that he doesn't want anyone to know about....
Well, this OC's pooch just got screwed. :facehoof:

One thing, footnotes are for essays and reports. You need to explain what it looks like in a separate paragraph, even if it's a small one. It's not a huge deal, but it ruins the emersion.

----------
1Natural as in how this body was meant to work, it was still weird for a biped.
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And it was super fucking weird.

This here, this is what I mean. The foot note is completely unneeded for the story since you already have him say it afterwards.

Is he going to switch between ther equestria girls world and his or is he going to stay as a griffon?

"owo wat dis," as the kids say.

8799997
No, footnotes are for all things, ever.

Needs more incoherent birb noises.

Really enjoying this one so far, love to see where you take it.

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Finish your oatmeal before you go out to play, dearie. :rainbowkiss:

Sweet, now just need a crowbar and it's time to Gordon Freeman this shiz. :pinkiecrazy:

8808707
I'm glad you like it so far, and I hope you like where it goes too, because we've got a long road ahead.

8809562
Noted.

8809755
Much appreciated. Hopefully you won't regret that decision.

8809660
Oh, you'll get your percussive de-engineering in due time. Just you wait.

8809822
Is the door wood? If so, are the hinge placements known? The lock? Can moisture be used to weaken the wood around them enough to pick apart?

Percussive Disassembly? I'm in!

Hoorayyy my fault

He belongs in a museum.

Ohey is a bird dude. Kewl.

And then the talons went clack against the surface.

Yay! He's out! I hope he can stay out.

Good choice going back to the mirror, to bad it closed on him. Now his own way home is for Twilight to somehow find out about him, and that may not happen easily.

christ on a bike

im loving this phrase :rainbowkiss:

Sooner or later he's going to work out the wings should be able to lift him, and then he's going to kick himself for not working it out sooner.

8895878
Up until now, he's not exactly had an opportunity to experiment with them.
And if I were him, I'd still consider it probably too close to the mansion to risk it.
Even when he starts, humans are NOT natural-born flyers. It's going to take him quite a while before he'll be able to overcome any acrophobia he might have, assuming he doesn't manage to break his neck the first time he tries to land.
Plus, every griffon, pegasi, and dragon he encounters is going to know right off the bat just how bad a flyer he is at their very first sight of him.

Scootaloo: "Wow, dude! And I thought I sucked at flying! Now I don't feel so bad anymore. :scootangel:"

8799997
8801501
The complaint about the distraction from the immersion is valid. Footnotes are okay, but they should at least be at the bottom of the chapter--not in the middle of the story.

8895878
8896460
^This, plus the little bit that, so far, every time Garrett has attempted to move the wings (or tail), the result was little more than useless flopping. Active control of new limbs seems to be a bit iffy at the moment.

8799997
8896474
It is a valid concern yes. However, in the usual medium of academic articles or reports, footnotes are located at the bottom of the current page, where the reader can immediately see without changing pages. Just a quick glance to the bottom of the page and back to reading. Minimal disruption.

Putting footnotes of this type at the end of a chapter would require scrolling all the way to the end, then back up. Or flipping through a dozen or more page of an e-reader. Or waiting until the end of the chapter to read them, by which time you've long forgotten the context. In my experience, these kinds are far more disruptive to immersion.

Without any convenient and consistent "bottom of page" to place footnotes at, the next best thing is the end of the current paragraph.

So between removing them altogether or not, I went with the latter placement.

(Obviously this still leaves the response of "just don't use footnotes". To which my only response is "Some people like them, some people don't. I like them. They fit the theme. Sorry.")

Interestingly useless wings for now.

I jumped back up to my feet, pumping my fist and grinning wildly. “Woohooo! That was awesome!”

That seems like the correct reaction here. Looking forward to seeing what he finds in town.

Saavik: Humor. It is a difficult concept. It is not logical.
Kirk: We learn by doing.
Garrett: No, Admiral. We learn by failing. Woooohoooo!:rainbowwild:

Things might be starting to look up for him, at least a little bit.

Still loving this story. :)

I totally love that story. You open a new way for HiE stories there with the griffin Mirror. Wouldn't surprist me if there are other magical mirrors as well.

Looking forward what the little birdy is getting himself into next^^

none other than what’s-her-face from the manor

Salad Horse! :yay:

Cinnamon

Not salad-related name?! Muh cognitive dissonance! :fluttershbad:

her hips were swaying ever so slightly more than strictly necessary

All is forgiven! :yay:

Just what the hell am I getting myself into?

...lewd. :trollestia:

I really like this so far. Garrett is great.

Selfie? Sounds like a burglar tool.

Had a feeling the mirror was a lost cause, though it would have been hysterical if it worked and the fic ended just like that.

He's gotta learn to flap those babies.

What, that's it already? Damn. I need more of this.

That is a fairly reasonable reason not to go to the guards, at least without any sort of proof of their story so they can try to keep it quiet. At best they could try going to someone with more authority who would know how to keep their trap shut, but how do you know who that is?

Still, glad to see the story moving forward and looking forward to what happens next.

Spicyhorse and Poofybirb.

So yeah, I really loved this fic. I can't wait to continue it. And I wonder, will we see Graywell again?. I don't know. I've noticed that the story doesn't have a proper genre tag, like "adventure" or "slice of life", and that works well for me. I could like this fic having an adventure, but I think I'd even like more being slice of life, and just seeing this two getting in all kind of shaningans. Many HiE stories feel the need to make overcomplicated tramas, like if just having an alien figure in an alien word wasn't interesting enough.
So yeah, super good work, will be waiting for more.


Also, a note on notes. There were some comments about the using of notes, and how some people thought they should be on the end.

In academic and non-academic text, most notes are aclarations over extra information that is meta/not relevalnt to what is being tell, like an aclaration of a source, or information about a particular historical figure or place.

This is other kind of note, becuase is a narrative one. In this cases, the notes work just as an stylistic form of adding some extra narrative information (often on the form of a tought of the character) to the things happening right now, wich makes it not just could, but that it should be on the middle of the text, since not just doesn't break the narrative but adds to it.

If the note was like this:

"I used my T-56 calculator*...
*the T-56 calculators were produced by IBDM IN 1985 as a response to..."

That should go on the end of the text.

When the note is like this:

"I used my t-56 calculator....*
*damn if that old thing had salved in me in so many ocassions"

It's just an stylistic technique that adds to the narrative happening in that moment. Putting it in any other place but right then, would confuse.

Again, cheers for this great fic!
PD: griffons are the most adorable ever
PPD: I'm still waiting for Garret to react to the new... lower parts of his body, and how much that changed

Rereading this one, and hoping to see more of it soon :)

Hey lad
Correct me if I’m wrong but don’t modern motorcycles have the accelerator on the handlebar?

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