Struggling to edit and write, and starting to read.
When Twilight Sparkle and her friends awaken in the Everfree Forest following a spell cast by Twilight, they attempt to find their way home. However, what they stumble on to is more than they could have expected, or imagined, in their wildest Nightmares.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Very wordy, but I love the premise.
When is the rest of the story coming out?
More, please!
500
I've been distracted by work/PMVs for a bit, but I'm planning to have at least 3 chapters released this week at once (I'll post them here as soon as I send them to the EqD queue, so you'll get a peek first :) )
heh, amazing how plans don't go as you expect them...
I really wished I remembered more of what was going on in this fic. I remember following it a while ago on...I dunno...I thought DA, but it might have been through EqD/googleDocs.
Anyways, that was one hell of a chapter, wasn't it? Certainly got a lot more violent and gory than I would have been expecting. Even with the elaborate descriptions of the armor in the prior (I think...) chapter. I'll probably have to go back to catch up on this story proper, but it's certainly getting interesting (even if I'm perplexed by quite a few elements...why are they all but abandoning the front line?).
Nice work.
And that's the last chapter. For now, anyway.
Woo! Well, let's see here...
There are a few small issues. Grammatical errors here and there, but they're not too bad. Better than most stories I've read.
Beyond that, I think the only thing that irks me is your bringing back Nightmare Moon as a villain. And that's just me being me; I just like Luna being Luna.
Anyway, you've got a pretty good story going here. Your versions of the characters are fun to follow, and you've clearly got Pinkie Pie down. Deus Ex Machina for the win. You've also got some fun secondary antagonists. General Mossrow was awesome, and I can't wait to get a closer look at immortal Trixie.
Your setting of a dystopian Equestria feels surprisingly well developed, as does the village of Gallant Hollow. I hope we see just as much development for the distant lands we'll be seeing soon.
Finally, your plot is quite enjoyable to follow. You've set some pretty high stakes, and the most recent chapter feels like you're living up to them. This actually feels like a battle for the fate of Equestria, much more than the show ever did.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Excellent. I look forward to reading more of this in the future. I just hope this won't turn out to be another one of those stories that kills off the mane six for a cheap emotional response. There's too much of that crap floating around.
does the new chapter name make this a story arc now?
17797
Yes, each group of the mane six has their own arc, so I'm labeling them here (or in doc on when I send the google docs links to EqD) so that readers know which one it is.
Interesting, we've got a bit of a heroic world tour thing going now.
This could get pretty good with regards to fleshing out the world at large.
17802 Well, now I'm curious. Will these be posted in discrete chunks or alternating parts?
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The plan is to progress each arc at roughly the same rate, so it will alternate from chapter to chapter.
The main story is complete, this character arcs are side stories - a view on what happened to a certain character during the main story or something similar?
19271
The main story is nowhere near complete, trust me. These arcs are simply specific to a section of the group, and so I labeled them for ease of reading.
Oooh, espionage and secret organizations. I like.
Please do tell me where you got that picture. SO AWESOME!
Anyways, very nice, love the premise, cool. Keep it up.
/wallpaper
25362
here
25372
Thanks alot bro.
/brohoof
This fiction, I like it.
ANOTHAR!
AHHHH CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!
need moar.
Now that that is out, I really want to say this is great and I'm enjoying this spectacularly.
Uuuu... a relentless advance tactic.
I like that.
>Excuse me...Aqua was it?
>“I do apologize for the secrecy, but given the circumstances...you’ll understand, I’m sure.”
These ellipses lack spacing.
>“You are relieved, your help was appreciated as always.”
Shouldn't this have a semicolon, not a comma?
>The first is that two new villages has been finished here in the Everfree Wilds.
They have been finished.
>She looked at Twilight questionably.
"Questioningly" seems like a more fitting word to me.
194731
I'd like to request that if you have any more corrections you e-mail me or something, but given how old your PDF may be, those are probably all fixed in the google docs version, and if not, they'll be fixed while I'm rewriting, which I'm currently doing.
When will we be seeing the next update?
255728
Never.
By assuming that, you'll be even more excited when an update finally does come out!
(In all seriousness, don't expect it for a while)
278418
That's too bad.
i'll be watching to see when the update comes
it'll be so awsome.
Caught up and yet still so very far behind... blargh... need to reread the earlier bits quite badly.
Oh well, still has some fun going-on's even if I don't quite recall the context for all of it.
361553
435523
Because I barely check back here, I'll let you guys and anyone else know.
I'm kinda in a slump, and looking at rewriting everything pretty much. Note, that's just to change word choice and descriptions, not what actually happens. Last semester of college is kind of important, and finding a job for when May comes... getting closer by the day. I hope when I do end up fixing it and changing things, it'll actually be good, along with whatever I add on.
450693 dont worry it'll be great and as always were patient or atleast i am.
450693 Well, considering that I'm also in my last semester of college as well as planning on trashing/overhauling my own fic... yeah, I can sympathize. (honestly, the similarities are almost creepy...)
Take your time. Life comes first after all. (and I really do need to reread much of this)
361553
Mmm.....tasty horse words.....
This is a interesting ordeal but those who have a insightful outlook into stories can just look at things and tell they are in the *spoiler* and they have to save *spoiler* or else *spoiler* *spoiler* *spoiler*
That's the story that I see coming to fruition.
Great job! Keep up the good work!!
~Almighty
I wonder why you cancelled this. It seems to be progressing wonderfully so far and it can really grab the attention of the reader's mind.
Can't wait for the next chapter :)