I awake not with a want, but with a need. My tummy aches with hunger and the room is empty. Why is nopony ever around to take care of me when I awaken?
I lie in wait and gaze at the portal through which somepony will walk any moment now. Surely they know by this point that I wake up hungry. How many times must we play this game before one of my careservants knows to come for me?
The hunger grows. It gnaws at me from within. I can wait no longer, but I shan't punish my careservants too soon. After all, it isn't their fault that they are not perfectly attuned with my needs, not like Silly Faces is.
I probe the silence with a soft whine. The portal remains closed. My whine escalates into a cry, but to no avail. Nopony comes to attend to my needs.
I'm sorry, careservants, but you should have come sooner. After a deep breath, I exhale all of the air in my lungs into a shrill yell. This is no time for waiting games; I am hungry.
Finally, after my third yell for attention, the portal opens and the Papa Sweets rushes in. "Hello, good morning, hi!"
He carries with him a bottle of milk and I reach for it with all of my legs. I need it. Do not delay, Papa Sweets!
"Here you go, here you go." He holds out the bottle and I snatch it from him.
I offer a smile to show my gratitude before I begin the feasting on the sweet, glorious milk. He watches me with a silly face, though it is no match for the faces of Silly Faces. His is more soft and happy, which is not very funny.
"How'd you sleep, little guy?" he asks, reaching down and stroking my mane.
This is the time for food, not for chat! As it seems he has forgotten, I stare at him to make this fact known.
He smiles. "You ready for another day at work?"
There is a rush of excitement that courses through me at the word 'work'. It is the most delightful of times, where Papa Sweets makes wonderful-smelling luxuries and Mama Snuggles plays with brightly colored foodstuffs. But most importantly of all, it is during the time of work that Silly Faces will visit.
After finishing the sweet milk, I toss the bottle aside and reach for Papa Sweets. It is time for work! Take me to work!
He laughs, scooping me up and cradling me to his chest with one foreleg, and we begin the journey through the portal from the sleeping room to the long room. The long room ends in what my careservants call the stares, which I've frankly never understood. They should be called the walks. You walk on the stares, not stare at the stares. Staring at them does nothing!
So, of course, Papa Sweets walks down the stares, which I think I am going to ignore their wisdom on and call the walks.
... Then again, walking on the walks sounds just as silly as on the stares. All right, careservants; you win this round.
As he carries me down the stares, he pats my back as he always does and unbidden, a most impolite belch escapes from the depths of my body. I squeak my condolences for him having heard such a sound, and he accepts them with a gracious "good boy."
Mama Snuggles is already down the stares and in the magic room where Papa Sweets bakes and she decorates. When I grow up, I want to be just like them. They get to play with sweet foodstuffs all day! Some ponies come to the bakery and complain about their work. Their lives must be awful if they have anything to complain about regarding the wonderful hours of work. I never want to complain about work.
"Good morning, sweetieface!" Mama Snuggles chirps when Papa Sweets carries me over to her and I am exchanged for a pad of paper. If I weren't eager for my maternal careservant, I would argue that I am worth much more than paper, but today I'll let it slide.
"Orders already?" Papa Sweets blinks. "We haven't even opened yet!"
Mama Snuggles giggles and bounces me up and down on her knee. "There's a line outside, honey. I decided that, to save time, I'd take orders so when we do open, we'll be ready for them!"
"But the time before we open is supposed to be family time," Papa Sweets says with a pitiable quiver of his lower lip.
Family time? No, no, this is work time. I was promised work! Family time is just me and Papa Sweets and Mama Snuggles. There's no Silly Faces during family time, and I have a need!
The bouncing of Mama Snuggles's knee is no longer amusing. She notices—where was this perceptiveness when I was hungry, hmm?—and she ceases the movement. I nod my appreciation.
"Well, Red loves baking with you, and I love being with you, and isn't that what family time is all about?" Mama Snuggles is a very smart mare. I hope that if I grow up, I become a smart mare, too.
Papa Sweets smiles, turning his attention to where it belongs: on me. "That's a pretty good point, don't you think?"
I roll my eyes and they laugh. Apparently, they thought I was being sarcastic. No, no, I assure you, I am very serious when it comes to the intelligence of Mama Snuggles.
"All right, then!" He turns the pad of paper to me. There is very uncreative scribbling on it. For as good as she is with sweetstuffs, Mama Snuggles is a terrible artist on paper. To her credit, however, not everypony can be perfect at everything. Just me. "Which should we do first, huh?"
With careful consideration, I look at the boring little doodles, then reach out my hoof in an attempt to point out one in particular. To my surprise, the dastardly hoof was much bigger than I expected it to be and I watched in horror—and also a bit of fascination—as the lumbering brute hit the paper in three random places. Hoof! Why do you betray me so?
Papa Sweets indulges my rampaging hoof with a smile. "Okay, so chocolate, confetti, and red velvet it is!"
I gawk at the scribbles before they are taken out of my line of sight as Papa Sweets walks away. Somehow, their nonsense made sense to him. It must be an adult thing, something I will never understand and won't try to. Besides, there are more important things to think about, such as red velvet cupcakes.
My careservants, kind and benevolent ponies they are, created a sweet treat that looks like me and gave it my name. I am and always will be humbled by their love for me. Even more wonderful than that is on multiple occasions, Silly Faces has said they are her favorite. Oh, Silly Faces, I hope you come to work soon! I miss you so!
Mama Snuggles plays with my mane and hums a little song. My ears perk; they know the tune. I try to sing the words but the sounds that come from my mouth aren't quite right. My mouth and I sometimes don't agree on things, and today singing seems to be one of them.
"That's right, sugarkisses!" Mama Snuggles taps her hooves to mine in rhythm with her song. "Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Pepper Ridge, bake me a cake as fast as you can!" With masterful coordination, she makes my hooves dance with the words. "Pat it, and roll it, and mark it with an R, then put it in the oven for Red and me!"
I squeal in delight as she tickles my tummy. I love my song! I love my tickles! I love my careservants!
Then, I notice it, and my joy comes to a halt. My stacking blocks are unstacked. Somepony has unstacked my stacking blocks! I point at them to alert my careservants to the breach of security. This unspeakable deed cannot go unpunished! I demand that those responsible be found and brought before me for sentencing immediately!
Mama Snuggles looks over and instead of the alarm she should have reacted with, she smiles. "Oh, you want to play with your blocks?"
While she brings me over to them, I can do nothing but stare up at her in disbelief. Such a cavalier reaction! If I did not know you better, Mama Snuggles, I would suspect you of this atrocious act of vandalism! I let her off with a small grunt and turn my attention to the colorful cubes of stackable delight.
All right, my precious blocks. It's time to get back into formation. Through careful maneuvering of my not-so-careful hooves, I set about on the task of righting the block tower. Blue, green, and red blocks go on the bottom, then a row of yellow, then a row of blue.
Today, I think another row of blue is in order. A subtle hint to Mama Snuggles that I am on to her mischief-making, and it shan't be tolerated a day longer.
Maybe enventually he'll meet another foal, honestly I'd like to see how that conversation vs what non-foals interpret would be like. Do foals actually have the ability to effectively communicate with each other? Or is their personal dialect of the the foal-language so different from other foals they can only get snippets in their conversations?
7226201 Foal-Language is now a headcannon I have. I can imagine Pumpkin and Pound Cake having their own little discussions about Pinkie and the others behind her back. XD
Vat? Dat story... AH! <--Real Reaction
Ahh love this one.
Love this kid so much! Haha.
Mares rule the world, huh?
Honey, clearly these mares haven't met Red.
:removes the monocle ever so slowly, feeling the growing tension of overwhelming cuteness in his chest: Sweet Luna... She does plan to kill me with her writing...
Hnnnnng.... so...ack...cuuute... my poor heart...
Literally the most perfect thing to ever grace ponykind.
this is positively adorable
Oh, Crystal. Do you realize what you've done?
No, of course you don't comprehend what you've started.
All hail King Red!
Wow, this is more dramatic than I was expecting.
Careservants, heh.
I loved reading these as extras and am super excited to see a story version!
Hey y'all! Thanks for commenting. I made the decision that I adored this minific, and decided I wanted to publish it despite my concerns that folks who aren't familiar with Q&B wouldn't find interest in it. There won't be much different if you've read the first version. I'll do some editing and polishing, but otherwise it's the same.
If you didn't know it existed, well, you're in for a treat!
7226201 It could happen! Maybe not in this story, but it could happen.
7226211 Throw in Red's attitude and it'd be just plain adorable!
7226212 AH!
7226214 I've read it so many times, and I still don't get tired of it!
7226227 Me, too!
7226232 I know, right? Red is clearly the chosen one. He was destined to rule.
7226237 Sacrifices must be made on the altar of Rediabetes!
7226250 More sacrifices for the Red God!
7226282 Literally. As in literally literally. Not figuratively literally.
7226478 I think so, too!
7226535 All hail! Praise be!
7226739 It started as a joke. "Haha, what if I wrote something from Red's point of view. What does he sound like, though?" And... this happened.
7227038 Oh, eep! Don't get your hopes up too much! I am just porting it over into an official FiMfic story. It's otherwise pretty much the same.
7227080
I shall not be an offering! You will have to try better than that!
7227080 A story for Red took me by suprice! LIKE A BOWZ!!!
favoritememes.com/_nw/1/38362913.jpg
Sweet CelestAI on the Sailor! the feelios... the feelios...
but Red's right WE DEMAND THE PRESECE OF SILLYFACES!
7227123 Give up and submit to Emperor Redatine!
7227399
My oath of fealty is to the Lady of the Night. Never shall I forsake Her...
7227423 no need to forsake your oats... your soul will be claimed by Reddus Maximus...
besides... you're a sacrifice ...
Oh, how adorable! I need a celery stick.
7227430
Begone, pest.
Dawwwwww.
This. Is. ADORABLE!
This is, most surely, how I die.
I said that scenes involving Red on Velveteen Mask were the best, but this is overkill!
Dawwwwwwwwwwwww he is so adorable, the whole story is adorable, oh goddess. -coughs- OK I enjoyed this. I really did. and he does have a point about Stairs.
Story of my life.
Red is number one pony
...
...
...
Sorry Fluttershy...
I can't breathe
Welp, my pancreas is gone. As are my lungs.
Soooo... I read this, laughed heartily, then went back and totally re-read this whole chapter imagining it as a dramatic reading by none other than Morgan Freeman, and... Yep. It needs to be a thing. Get me his agent!
i hacked the comment so you can't like it