• Published 19th May 2016
  • 3,186 Views, 159 Comments

Nymphetamine: The Heart's Price - Architect Ironturtle



Princess Cadance decided she had to experience love with every species on the planet before she could truly become the Princess of Love. It's too bad for her the spell she used to get that experience had some unpleasant side effects...

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6: Missed Him by THAT Much!

Cadance fidgeted, stewing in her own fear and indecision as she stared at the door to the small house in front of her before glancing around nervously. She didn't want to do this. One of the three ponies she had hurt on a scale she dared not imagine lived on the other side of that door, and... Blue, no, True Strike, that was her name, would not be pleased to see her. It was like that time she'd swiped a bunch of sweets before dinner and Celestia had walked right outside her bedroom, only a googol* times more intense.

Cadance wracked her brain one last time for other things she might not have done yet, anything that allowed her to just turn around and walk away, if even for a few fleeting minutes. Nothing came to mind. Alex was still missing, the press-conference wasn't until tomorrow, and Shining wasn't talking to her at the moment (which still stung). She could go get something to eat, or take a walk around town and enjoy the sunset, but that would just be stalling. Cadance had had issues with procrastination in the past, and Celestia had been almost disturbingly thorough when it came to removing them. She'd mentioned something about putting off paperwork being a dangerous habit to get into, then proceed to weave a tale of how one delayed acquisition form almost toppled the Equestrian government. Babysitting Twilight hadn't hurt either, in this case.

Cadance realized her internal monologue was yet another way to put off the inevitable, braced herself, and, with a sensation not unlike stepping off a cliff, knocked lightly on the door.

She heard movement inside the house, two voices muttering to each other at too low a volume to understand from outside, and a few seconds later the door slot open, revealing a pair of glaring pale yellow eyes ringed with white fur. Cadance blinked, then put on a wary smile. She hadn't thought this neighborhood was that bad, but maybe all the muggers had made themselves scarce when a Princess showed up out of nowhere.

The eyes narrowed, and a begrudging mare's voice hissed, "Can I help you, your highness?"

Somepony just out of sight (he sounded male) mumbled a something Cadance didn't catch, and the eyes turned to look at him skeptically. The mumbles continued, causing the mare to sigh, roll her eyes, and shut the slot with a bang. A few clicks later, the door opened, revealing an off-white pegasus with a matted coat that looked like it needed a good brushing. An indigo pegasus stallion in a similar state stood just behind her to her right, regarding her with a sense of wary respect. The mare just looked annoyed. The smell of sweat both fresh and dried mixed with mild body odor slapped Cadance in the face, and it took all her self control to not wrinkle her nose is disgust.

"I," Cadance swallowed, then pressed onward, "I have something very important to tell the both of you. May I come in?"

The two ponies shared a glance, and the mare's hoof on the door tensed, like she was about to slam shut, but then heaved another sigh and opened it wider, allowing the Princess entry. Cadance stepped inside, carefully wiping her hooves on the welcome mat, and looked around. The first two words to cross her mind were "simple" and "neat." The walls were not heavily decorated, painted a plain white with the odd picture hanging up in highly visible spots, but as far as she could see they bore no stains or cracks. It was the same for the furniture, as many of the pieces seemed worn, yet each had been scrubbed clean enough to pass even a drill sergeant's inspections. The floor was hardwood, unpolished but worn smooth. All in all, it was a perfectly normal, well kept, lower-middle class home. This did not help Cadance's nerves.

She followed her hosts into the living room, where they sat side by side on the only couch. The mare made no sign of welcome, but the stallion gestured towards a chair sitting next to the fireplace, which was as bare as expected on an early summer day. Cadance climbed into it, and turned to face them. Well, no backing out now.

Cadance took a deep breath, and told them. Not everything, not quite, but everything that was relevant. A stifling silence fell across the room when she finished, and for a single moment the stillness was total. Then True Strike rolled off the couch and walked a few paces away, standing with her back to Cadance.

"You know," she said finally, her voice surprisingly calm, "I didn't believe it when I first heard that story from Sure Hoof. I thought Alex was just making excuses, 'Oh, I didn't really mean to cheat on you, I was being mind controlled,' you know, the usual whorseshit. To hear that he wasn't lying..." True Strike went completely still. Too still.

Cadance barely had time to duck before True Strike's hoof slammed into the back of her chair, sending it toppling over and dumping Cadance onto the floor. True Strike made to rush her again, only for Sure Hoof to tackle her, doing his best to pin her despite her struggles.

"Are you crazy!?" He shouted, "That's a Princess you just tried to kill!"

"She made me hurt my Alexy," True Strike yelled back, hooves scrabbling for purchase, "Nopony makes me hurt my Alexy!"

Cadance, meanwhile, had frozen in place, staring in horror at the scene unraveling before her. Sure Hoof glanced up at her, his grip starting to slip, and mouthed 'run.' Cadance turned and bolted, soaring out the door and into the warm night air. A thunderous crash sounded behind her, and Cadance risked looking back. True Strike was gaining on her, her eyes filled with what could only be described as murderous intent.

Cadance yelped and flew faster.

88888888

Chrysalis was busy being creepy. After she and Alex had talked about breaking into the guard station to retrieve his stuff and agreed that she would be responsible for the recon before the act itself, Chrysalis had then asked for another apple, despite mentioning earlier that she was full. Her emotions had turned sour and frizzy, which Alex thought meant a combination of fear and anticipation, and in the end, curious to see what she would do, he'd handed it over. Chrysalis promptly knelt, the apple held lightly in her hooves, and was now chanting, the words too low and fast for Alex to make out. Her voice slowly grew louder, and as she raised the apple skyward he heard the words, "Accept this offering, great Bellum, if you wish me harm."

For a long tense moment, Chrysalis paused, as if waiting for something. When about ten seconds had passed and nothing had happened, she let out a sigh of relief, and placed the apple back on the table, the fizz she was emitting turning to fresh cream.

"Good," she said breathily, "We're safe. For now."

"Ok," Alex said, confusion written plain across his face, "What the fuck was that?"

"A prayer for Bellum, the god of war and death," Chrysalis replied softly, "I take it you've not heard of him?"

"To be honest, I was under the impression that this world didn't really have religion," Alex told her, "Maybe it died out while you were sleeping?"

"Perhaps," said Chrysalis, frowning slightly, before telling him about He With Three Faces. One to play the pipes of scrimshaw bone, one to shout commands and battle cries, and one that never opened its mouth, for if it did it would vomit a waterfall of blood and bile. He was depicted as an alicorn with far too many arms holding every weapon imaginable, some clasped in prayer or plea, some thrown up as if to ward off an unseen foe, and one that was always held in a crisp salute.**

"Bellum was never a popular god," Chrysalis continued, "Even in my time. Most ponies don't like to think about death, or violence, so a god devoted to both was never going to get a large following. That said, every single crystal guard prayed to him zealously, and they always kept their ears pricked whenever they had to go into danger, for it is said that those who hear his pipes are destined to fall in battle."

"And the apple?" Alex prodded.

"Yes, the apple," Chrysalis echoed, tapping her hooves nervously, "Most prayers to Bellum are not pleas for help or songs of praise. They are requests for him to leave you be, or to stay his hoof if he cannot ignore you. If you give him a piece of food and are fated to die, he will... well, eat, it. There's no better way to describe it. Nothing happening is actually the good outcome, because it means you weren't in danger in the first place."

Alex was still skeptical at this point, but he had to ask, "And what happens if he rejects your offering?"

"...Something else," Chrysalis shook her head, the relief from before having been replaced by something that almost tasted like fear, but had some extra salty undertones, "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Right. Right," Alex said, promptly shoving the conversation out of his mind, "Just let me armor up, and then we can go."

Alex stepped over to his armor stand and did his best to put his partner's beliefs out of his mind. Most of his gear, a mix of homemade padding, chainmail, and splinted leather, went on quickly enough, though without a squire to help him he'd had to modify some of the buckles, but he paused when he got to his helmet. He gazed at the hunk of metal, a round-faced bassinet lined with chainmail that was arguably the most important piece of protection he wore, then crossed his eyes as he stared at the horn now jutting from his forehead.

Alex sighed and flipped the helmet upside down, quickly pulling out the inner lining of padded cloth, duct tape, and blue foam, before jamming the thing down over his head, his horn ripping a neat hole for itself. Chrysalis let out a bark of laughter at the sight, her previous fear forgotten.

"Yes, yes, I look ridiculous," Alex said bluntly, "But I'm not going into a potential fight without something on my head."

Chrysalis just rolled her eyes at that and sidled up next to him as he strapped on his sword belt. "Shall we go?" she purred, bumping lightly against him, and Alex rolled his eyes as he placed a hand on her shoulder and they shimmered out of sight.

"Sounds good to me," he said on reflex, "Hopefully we'll get my stuff back before someone gets a chance to rummage through it."

88888888

Shining Armor leaned back in his chair and wiped the sweat from his brow as he tried to process what he was looking at. The book sat there, in all it's damning beauty, mocking him with the impossibilities it contained. The title, Atlas of The World, was simple enough, but that made the contents all the more perplexing. The book contained maps. Dozens of maps. Dozens of the most detailed, beautifully crafted maps Captain Armor had ever seen. Even the maps the guard used, which were required to be the most up to date available paled in comparison.

If that had been all, it wouldn't have been that strange. However, for some reason the Captain couldn't fathom, somepony had charted and drawn awe inspiring maps of an entire world that nopony had ever seen. Sure, he'd drawn a couple of dungeons during his O&O days, but nothing like this. On top of that, the book itself was of some of the highest quality Captain Armor had ever seen, using glossy, flawless paper, a binding so well crafted he couldn't spot any variations in it, and every page cut to the exact same size and shape, so the edges didn't fluctuate.

Every single book Mr. Fleming owned was like this. If they weren't depicting lands nopony had ever heard of, then they showed inventions that didn't exist, societal theories that shouldn't work, or columns of symbols that meant nothing at all. At this point, Captain Armor had two theories: either Alexander Fleming was completely insane, or he was from far farther away than he had ever felt like letting on. Captain Armor honestly didn't know which one was worse, until he realized it might be both. Both was definitely worse.

Captain Armor sighed, and got up for another cup of coffee. Normally he wouldn't be working so hard on a case like this, but this one involved hi- Cadance, on top of being flat out weird enough to warrant his full attention. It was as he was stepping out of his office that he heard the shouting, and headed off to investigate. Seriously, what was going on now?

88888888

"Are you sure this is the place?" asked Alex, frowning thoughtfully at the nondescript office flat in front of them, "This city is big enough to have more than one guard station."

"I did the recon, did I not?" Chrysalis shot back, letting out a strong waft of indignation (which smelled like farts), " Your case is all anypony will speak of right now. Tracking down the building holding the evidence was a simple affair. I will admit that I expected it to look more... imposing."

"An office is an office," Alex quipped, shifting his weight forward to prompt Chrysalis to walk with him, "No matter who happens to work there. What's our way in?"

"The roof access door," Chrysalis replied, gesturing towards the top of the building and weaving a muffling barrier and wall-walking cantrip into their invisibility shields, "It is sealed, of course, but the anti-lockpicking charms are old and should break with a little applied effort. The evidence is kept on the third floor, as far away from the holding cells as possible. Unless somepony is actively looking at everything in your case file, which is possible, that is where we will find your possessions."

Alex peered indoors as they walked up the side of the office flat. The place was mostly quiet, as it was now late evening and the day shift had gone home by now, but about half of lights were still on and he could sense roughly two dozen emotion blobs moving around inside. The last time Alex checked, security cameras weren't a thing yet, but he still kept an eye out just in case they'd been invented while he wasn't looking. Some might call it paranoia, but they weren't the ones breaking into a police station in the middle of the night.

It took a few minutes for Chrysalis to jiggle the lock open, but Alex tapped her on the shoulder before she could pull it open. "Shouldn't you check for triggers?" he asked, "Where I come from most secure buildings have an alarm primed to go off if you open the wrong door."

Chrysalis rolled her eyes, "Fine. I'll check." Her horn flared slightly, "There, see? Nothing is here. Now come." With that, she yanked the door open and stepped inside. Alex followed, closing the door behind them, his nerves still dancing on a razor's edge. By the time they'd made it to the evidence lockers Alex had managed to calm himself somewhat, but his hand still rested on the hilt of his blade. Just in case.

The door to the evidence lockers was unlocked, though Chrysalis told him that normally it had extensive security wards active, and they slipped through. Alex's eyes scanned the room, and he grinned as he marched to the far wall and hefted his shield, breaking the invisibility in the process. The shield was a basic kite design, large enough to cover Alex's body from shoulder to knee, and made of two layers of plywood glued together. More importantly, it was almost solely responsible for Alex's continued survival.

Ponies, and in fact quadrupeds in general, didn't use shields. For them, it's a choice: they can hold a shield, or a weapon, but not both without losing most of their mobility. Even among unicorns, who can wield more than one object at a time, something as simple as a buckler was rare. Only the bipedal species bothered with them at all, which gave Alex an enormous defensive edge against most opponents.

In addition, even among the bipeds, Alex's shield stood out. The Monkeys and Lemurs fought with circle shields or bucklers matched with multiple short swords and daggers, needing little more to cover their bodies and mostly relying on not getting hit in the first place. The Gorillas, on the other hand, used massive tower shields with reinforced bases that that allowed them to hold the wielder's weight (making their charges shake the ground under their hands), combined with a hooked mace, ax, or spear to pull the enemy's shield out of the way, while the Minotaurs preferred heavy Phalanx style equipment. Alex's shield was large and light, far lighter than any other shield its size could be without being too fragile to block anything. This was thanks to the superior materials Alex had used, since plywood, for all its ugliness, was still impressively strong. If it was destroyed or lost, he wouldn't be able to replace it, which was why he'd splurged on the rune in the first place.

"Much better," He said with a grin, slipping his arm through the straps and getting it settled just so, "I felt practically naked without this thing."

Chrysalis emitted a wave of sugar cookies that Alex guessed was wry amusement, but didn't comment further. She helped him gather up the rest of the his items, but it wasn't long before Alex was growling to himself as he stared at the pile. "Well that's just peachy," he grumbled, "We're missing some of the books."

"Which ones?" Chrysalis asked.

"The important ones," Alex stated, "You see, right after I finished making my trailer-tent and was looking around for another big project to work on, it occurred to me that it might be a good idea to make a survival bunker of sorts. My country may have one of the longest lasting governments on the planet, but it never looks particularly stable at any given moment, and that year was the worst in decades, so I thought, 'Just in case,' and started packing. I grabbed a bunch of texts that I'd never bother to get rid of after college, along with some other useful books I had lying around the house and stuffed them in there, then I went off to the war, thinking I'd finish the job when I got back."

He snorted, "And of course, I ended up needing the damn thing long before I was expecting too."

"So," Chrysalis said slowly, her wings twitching ever so slightly, "When you say 'important'..."

"...I mean that they were picked out with the specific goal of resurrecting human civilization and industry from nothing," Alex concluded, "and that they hold the information that would be needed to do so. Furthermore, it would be disastrous if they ended up in the wrong hands, so leaving them behind, even if makes it more likely we'll get caught, is not an option."

Chrysalis was grinning in a somewhat disturbing fashion, made all the more so by the aura of cotton candy and tomatoes that Alex suspected was malicious glee. "What are we waiting for, then?" She asked sweetly, neatly bundling up Alex's things and slipping them into whatever pockets unicorns use to carry their stuff around, then trotting towards the door, "I want to see these for myself."

88888888

The shouting was coming from a mare. A pale pegasus mare pinned down by no less than four guards despite having wing binders and hoof-cuffs on. Cadance was standing a good distance away from the scene, looking on with a mixture of shock and sadness. The Captain sighed and lit his horn, lifting the Pegasus into the air and giving the other guards a much needed break.

"Sir!" one of the guards saluted him, "This mare was trying to kill Princess Cadance, and went through half a dozen of us trying to get to her." Cadance flinched slightly, but didn't raise her head or speak up.

The mare, meanwhile, had stopped struggling, and was glaring at Cadance with such fury Shining almost expected the Princess to burst into flames. What could Cadance have possibly done to...

"Ms. True Strike I presume?" Shining said wearily. The mare grunted, and Shining sighed, "Will you try to attack again if I put you down?"

The mare didn't reply, so Shining just turned around and carried her away into the guardhouse.

"You're lucky Cadance is a nice pony, Ms. Strike," Shining said casually, "If you play along she might decide to drop the charges against. Or at least lighten your sentence. What's the punishment for attempted regicide these days, banishment? I don't know, honestly, nopony's ever been stupid enough to try."

True Strike didn't reply, instead staring off into space, her rage slowly draining away and being replaced by something Shining couldn't parse. She stayed like that for the entire trip through the complex, with only the occasional ear twitch to tell him that she was listening to him at all as he chattered.

It wasn't until she'd already been placed her cell, a clean, if stark concrete block with a toilet, sink, and bed that she spoke. "You know what she did, right?" True Strike said suddenly, causing Shining to blink.

"...Yes," He said after a pause, "I do."

"Then how can you defend her?" True Strike snapped, locking her eyes to his for the first time that evening, "Princess Cadance destroyed my former clotfriend's life with his own hooves! When I fought with him was hitting the wrong target. How you stand there and not be sympathetic!?"

"I never said I wasn't," Shining said coldly, "But the law exists for a reason, and she is trying to atone for her actions, however horrendous they may be. That's why she went to talk you."

True Strike snorted, her flaring angrily as she and stalked away, the tip of her tail snapping at the bars.

"I don't like this anymore than you do," Shining said after a while, deciding to switch tactics, "But attacking her isn't going to solve this. She's had a long talk with Princess Celestia, and now she's paying for her actions the right way, the way that lets her be a better pony in the future. You putting her in the hospital is only going to get in the way of that."

When True Strike didn't reply, Shining let out a small puff of air and turned to leave.

"Are you sure she'll improve?" True Strike asked skeptically, causing Shining to stop short and look back over his shoulder, "I've dealt with a lot of scum in my life, Captain, and it never matters how sorry they are. Sooner or later they'll screw up again and end up right back where they started."

Shining felt a slight touch of unease and forced it down. Stay professional, he told himself, don't let her get to you.

"Of course I'm sure," Shining said steadily, "I've known her for most of my life."

"And yet this caught you off guard?" True Strike asked, her voice deceptively mild. When Shining didn't answer right away she continued, "Tell, me Captain. If you know her so well, are you sure she hasn't done this before? For that matter, are you sure she hasn't cast anything on you personally? You do seem awfully quick to defend her." Shining didn't answer. He walked out, leaving a grinning True Strike alone while shutting the door and locking it on reflex, his mind churning. He didn't snap out of it until he returned to his office and realized all the evidence had gone missing.

88888888

Sergeant Shifter stared up at the 'throne.' The formation was entirely natural, but since looked a bit like a chair and Chrysalis sometimes sat there some private had taken to calling it a throne and the name had stuck.

Shifter sucked in a breath, and carefully broke off a few pieces, slipping them into a special box that he then strapped to his back. While the anti magic field generated by those shards wouldn't be anywhere nearly as strong as that of the throne itself, they couldn't take it with them and being able to block somepony's magic was entirely too useful to do without. The box already contained three anti-magic rings, but Shifter felt it would be wise to bring extra crafting material. It was ideas like that that were the reason he was in charge, after all.

He pulled out a checklist written on the last of their good paper, ran through it one more time, then nodded. "That's everything," he said to himself, and turned to leave. He paused, then turned back to stare at the throne. "Thank you for protecting us," he told it, "We may not have spent much time awake here, but you kept us safe through our long centuries of sleep. I never really thought of this place as home, but I believe I could have built a nice life here, if fate allowed it. Until we meet again."

Shifter strode into the tunnels and headed for the surface, reveling in the breeze through his wings and the sight of the moon for the first time in a millennia, even with that strange dark pattern marring its surface. He'd considered waiting until dawn to make the journey, but nopony was interested in going back to sleep just yet, so they'd packed up early.

"Our wait is over," he shouted, taking flight as he addressed the swarm, "Changelings, move out!" And the air filled with the buzzing of six hundred pairs of wings.

Author's Note:

*Googol: noun. A one, followed by one hundred zeroes. Looks like this when put on a page: 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Blame Twilight Sparkle for telling her about it.

**All credit for Bellum's concept goes to episode seven of The Magus Archives, an extremely well written horror podcast based on recording and sorting encounters with the paranormal. Please go give them a listen if that sounds interesting to you.

And the plot is moving along nicely. No more lengthy backstory conversations, now it's time for action! Well, a bunch of sneaking around getting stuff done at least.

Hey look, it's me in trope form: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WritingByTheSeatOfYourPants.

Any other impromptu writers out there?