(DA) David's Journal

by Davids Archivist

(DA1:IV-A) - Day 2 - Thoughts and Feelings* (new)

Author's Note:

Archivist’s Note: This is an excerpt from David Marshall’s private journal, provided to the Archives as a record of David’s time in Equestria. Journal entries were dictated by David, then transcribed by David’s Archivist. Any errors contained within are attributed to the transcription process and should not reflect back upon the original author.

Timeline: This entry was made during the events described in Act IV-A of “(DA1) First There Were None. Then He Arrived”.

*Publishing Note: This entry is also contained whole/in-part in Act IV-A of “(DA1) First There Were None. Then He Arrived”.

Journal of David Marshall
Monday, Day Two in Equestria, Morning
Current mood: Conflicted

It’s the morning of the second day.

I’ve just received my breakfast from the guards, and though I’m hungry, I couldn’t care less about eating. My stomach is tied in knots, most likely from stress. It doesn’t help that neither Princess Cadance or Twilight Sparkle came to visit me yesterday. I want to hope that doesn’t mean anything, but I almost have to assume that it does.

I have to say, being in shock sucks. My brain seemed to avoid thinking about anything, as I wasn’t awake much yesterday. Pretty much all I did was write and sleep. Though I’ve already written what has happened, I still have yet to figure out my feelings.

I can easily accept that I’m under a safety quarantine and house arrest for stealing magic and suspicion of mind control. That’s just about the only part that makes sense. But something’s started between Princess Luna and me and I need to figure it out. Okay, let’s take a look at it again.

***

So, I had woken up in the middle of that first night, stressed out. Princess Luna noticed and came to visit. We talked, shared jokes and stories, and somehow became friends.

No. That isn’t right. It shouldn’t be right. Princesses don’t just talk to and ‘become friends’ with strange beings that mysteriously appear in their kingdom. It’s not rational. However, I’m not sure how rational this place is. So far, it matches up with television way too much: a place concocted of lessons, morals, and an almost unrealistic idealism. In that world, I suppose princesses do act this way. But this place and Princess Luna are real. They get mad, they argue, they lie. This is not just the world on TV, it’s more.

So, maybe the princess and I really have become friends. Well, that’s not entirely accurate either. We’re friends, but there’s a bit more to it. She’s said and even shown as much yesterday morning. As for me, I’m not quite sure. Even considering everything that’s happened, I still feel a bit giddy when I think about her. I know that feeling, but it’s been such a long time…

…

I hope— Actually, I don’t know what I hope. Part of me wants to think I was stressed and vulnerable. That having anyone pay attention to me would’ve had a similar effect. Another part of me wants answers; it’s confused. It wants to know what I find so interesting or relatable in a miniature, magical, talking horse. Lastly, there’s the part of me that says “to hell with thinking; it’s nice to feel again.” The short of the matter is, all of those parts are valid.

And talking to Princess Luna was fun, I can’t deny that. We even have a few things in common, like how she loves wordplay and mind games and how we both felt a bit out of touch growing up. It… it just felt so natural, I can’t explain it. What really made an impact, though, was when I noticed her relaxing and enjoying her time with me. That’s proof enough to me that we made a connection.

But at some point, it all changed… it grew. It’s not like it’s either of our faults or even a bad thing, but when did it start?

…

The break. That was it for me. It was such a small moment in time, but I remember when Princess Luna left the room I was thinking about her. Those few minutes let my mind wander and soon I felt a bit nervous, even anxious about her return. Then she spoke, and it was like a trap had been sprung. The surprise made my heart stop, and from then on, I was a deer caught in the headlights. I remember her asking a question, but with my heart beating rapidly in my chest and my mind racing, I don’t remember exactly what I said. It must have been okay, though, as she casually climbed back up on the bed to make herself at home, wearing a smile. I couldn’t help but stare as she pranced around, trying to find the perfect spot. Then our eyes met, and the awkward tension forced me to turn away. I think it was then, that I really started thinking of her as a woman.

Let’s see… After that, well, it gets hard to decipher and remember my thoughts. I quickly became a confused, mixed bag of emotions. Part of me tried to be chivalrous and respectful, another part was a bit anxious and scared. I remember more of how it felt, how she felt, rather than what I thought.

The next thing I knew, I had awoken to a nightmare. Being stared down by Princess Celestia will wake you up fast, I guarantee it. The saving grace at that moment was the look on Princess Luna’s face. Though it only said “sorry” it instantly calmed me down.

After a bit of back and forth with Princess Celestia, Princess Luna jumped in. I remember how my heart jumped when she crawled onto the bed. Her eyes spoke to me as much as her words. Then she went to war for me. It was kind of exciting, seeing her argue on my behalf against her sister, but Princess Celestia easily overpowered her.

What came next was a surprise. Having lost the battle of words, Princess Luna’s last resort was to take action. I vaguely remember the look in her eyes, but then everything was washed away by that kiss.

After that, it just cascaded out of control. I barely remember the words, let alone how I felt. Talk of stealing magic and being forbidden to meet, that’s what I got out of it.

***

So, have I come to any conclusions? Yes.

What’s plain to me is that I’m attracted to Princess Luna. I think I’m okay with that. I think she’s interested in me too, but after what happened I can’t be sure. As for Princess Celestia, I have no idea or frame of reference on what she thinks of me. I just know she’s scary when she’s mad.

The end result is that yesterday was horrible, I’m alone, and I don’t have any more answers. I hope today is better.