• Member Since 28th Oct, 2012
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Pineta


Particle Physics and Pony Fiction Experimentalist

E
Source

The waggle dance is a performance used by social bees to communicate information about sources of food to other members of the colony. Understanding the details of how it works has been the result of many years of research.

For Fluttershy, it is just part of her special talent.

Cover art by Chingilin.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

Shake that booty Flutters!

Social insects and their quorum sensing ways are very interesting, of course not all bees are social, although most of them like a good picnic every so often.

This is pretty much exactly how these things would happen in Ponyville. Nice little world-building setpiece. :twilightsmile: I even had to dig for a while and it turns out the scientific term for what Fluttershy is doing is... waggle dance. I love science sometimes. :twilightsheepish:

Count of Fluttershy to invite all the insects. though i'd think the termites might prefer the old tree s a snack.

Of course! What kind of a picnic would it be without ants?

All these mares standing around watching Fluttershy booty quake and trying to figure out why. Meanwhile, none of the stallions give a damn. After all... They've got popcorn, lawn chairs and grins.

Little known fact: Disco was ended in Equestria when it increased the chance that you'd bee given hives. That, and it really stung.

I wonder what Fluttershy had to say about the hive that was vaporised when Tirek destroyed the library.

Can this be(e) an episode? Please?

7213508 They'd want some conflict for an episode, but this has definite episode potential.

7214081
too bad we can't just have a pony doing pony things episode.

Hope a bunch of hornets don't crash the party. Though if they ask politely...

Thanks for all the comments.

7212760
I love science all the time.

7212764
Although I expect an old tree would taste better with a spot of honey.

7212812
While the drone bees just fly by unimpressed, searching for the real queen.

7214363
Think of other species. Bee inclusive.

ddr

I did like the story, but I thought I'd give some constructive criticism on it.

Everyone is saying that it's episode material, but I struggle to find a character arc or moral. Is the moral to be more inclusive whether you like it or not? It isn't very long either, but that's okay. The story I'm working on has chapters consisting of 2000-3000 words each. I didn't think this short story had much in terms of substance, though. It's just Fluttershy going to a shop, buying things, inviting bees to a tea party, and all of Ponyville crashing it. I think that you wrote the Fluttershy dance well, I appreciate that you researched bees when you were writing this story instead of making it up. It gave Twilight's lecture more of an educational value.

I do have a little problem with all the ponies in Ponyville being mistaken that they're invited to Fluttershy's party or how they were so dismissive of the cast.
"'Fluttershy is doing some sort of modern dance routine,' she replied, rolling her eyes. 'Twilight is talking about an advanced friendship spell or something, and Pinkie Pie is being Pinkie Pie.' Berry Punch nodded her head to agree with this summary. Bon Bon shook hers. It was business as usual in Ponyville"
They were right there to hear everything she just said, right? I think it's good to have the background characters sort of know the main cast, but if they did they'd know that Fluttershy is an animal expert, right? And that she must be wearing the bee suit for a reason. They all know that Fluttershy, the pony who stormed off stage when it was revealed that she was secretly singing for the Ponytones, is shy, right? When everypony was getting hyped about the party, Pinkie Pie just rolled with it instead of defending her friend. It was a little frustrating. She knows that Fluttershy is shy and doesn't like too much company, so why doesn't she just let everypony know what she's really up to? I did like the creative use of font size to make Fluttershy's voice feel more weak and timid, though.

There's one weird sentence in there. "But the queen hardly ever leaves the hive. Only for her mating flight, or before a new queen arrive—" Shouldn't that be 'arrived' or 'arrives'? Other than that I can't find any more problems in the actual writing itself.

Please don't misconstrue my words into harsh judgement. I know it's not easy taking criticism, especially from a site with little or none of it actually given to the writers, but this was out of a desire for you to recognize your mistakes and become a better writer in the future. I hope you take my criticism into account in your future projects and if you think I misunderstood anything in your story, please DM me about it. I'd like to hear your take on what I have to say.

The ponies are once again ignorant...No wonder Equestria is so vulnerable to conquest. :facehoof:
Funny story anyways!

7214913
Thanks for the comment. Detailed feedback is always welcome, and believe me, I have had far harsher criticism than yours during my time on this site. To respond to your points:

I agree this is not an episode, but perhaps it could be a scene in one. I wasn't trying to give any moral, or character arc, or conflict, or anything like that. This is just a snapshot of life in Ponyville, with a bit of science. Using ponies to talk about science is my thing. When I started this, I assumed it would be an even shorter vignette with Twilight explaining the waggle dance, and Fluttershy doing it. The final story turned out a bit longer than I imagined.

The biggest problem I had with this was coming up with a good ending. I couldn't think of a really good punchline, and I wanted something a bit more interesting than a "Now let's go for lunch," line. So I was trying to build it up to a bit of a climax, then give a bit of a twist at the end. I think it was okay, but certainly not my best.

Regarding the background ponies, the way I see them (which may not be quite what others think) is that they are a little more simple-minded, and like young children, often don't pay attention and misinterpret things, especially if the misinterpretation is in their interest. So on getting the message that Fluttershy is inviting everypony to a party, they are more likely to think "Yay party!" than "really?" Then Pinkie would rather roll with this idea than hold up a hoof and say "No party".

Thanks for pointing out the typo.

7214913 I pretty much agree with you. It was show accurate, but it lacked the structure of an episode. For that, this would have just been the cold open/first part, with the second setting up some conflict (the bugs don't get along, too many queens, wrong cupcakes (OH MY!), and the last part is for the solution of the conflict and in MLP's case, the moral. That said, I thought of it as a worldbuilding piece. A short snippet from a story exploring the Equestria from the author's imagination, from Fluttershy's waggly tail to the background ponies looking for an excuse to slack off and party. I'm sure this could have been made into an actual story with the aforementioned structure, but it wasn't, and it needn't be. It was an enjoyable moment for what it was.

Pineta, I thought the library's remains were dug up in Castle Sweet Castle?

Apple Bloom probably shouldn't be too interested in the waggle dance, what with her allergies...

Still, a very entertaining scene. I especially love how you used an exposition-happy Twilight to share the fascinating facts without intruding too much on the narrative.

7215575
Fair point... But did they actually dig up the entire thing? It looked pretty big and they moved it pretty quickly. And a tree that big would root deep... I had in mind that they just took some of the roots... Or I could say that this story takes place before Castle Sweet Castle.

(So... no one else has said it yet?)
(And it's possible no one is going to say it? When the universe dictates it must be said?)
(I'm going to pay for this. You know that.)
(*sigh*)

Dat stinger!

(...I'll be in the shower. For the next six hours.)

7215240 If you wanted to be evil, you could have had the punchline switch around to the bees POV and have them thinking Fluttershy is propositioning them; indicating that she didn't really know what she was doing after all and the bees were merely mesmerized by her alluring abdomenal motions as well as being wickedly perverted! :trollestia:

¿Are the honeybees the survivors of the attack of Tirek? ¿What happened to the honeybees when the ponies relocated the stump to the castle?

Mathematicians study Honeybee-Democracy:

Honeybee-Democracy

The voting system is the 1 I recommended for you:

You had some story-ideas. We had to vote on them using plurality. I pointed out vote-splitting and suggested Approval-Voting, or better yet, Score-Voting:

# 0. Set the most loved story-idea a score +9 and the most hated idea a score of -9.
# 1. Score all story-ideas relative to these story-ideas, skipping over 0 (thus forcing voters to come down 1 way or another).
# 2. Allow voters to skip story-ideas, but consider skipped ideas to have a score of -9 (if voters are indifferent to a story-idea, it is not a good story-idea).
# 3. Sum the votes.

This is called score-voting or range-voting (one scores the candidates over a range and then sum). Honeybees use it for choosing where to build their hives. It is mathematically equivalent to continuous scoring between -1 to +1, but uses -9 to +9 so that one does not have to deal with radices or fractions. A varient exists for those liking ranking:

1/R

R = Rank

# 0. Most hated gets -1; while, most loved gets +1.
# 1. One ranks to |9| with equal ranks allowed.
# 2. For eliminating fractions, one multiples by 2,520, which is the least common multiple of all natural numbers up to 9.
# 3. One allows candidate-skipping, but skipped candidates receive a ranking of -1, for the purposes of counting.
# 4. ranking a candidate at 0 is not allowed, this forcing voters to comedown 1 way or another.
# 3. Sum the votes.

The ranks translate into scores thus:

+1 = +⅟1 = +2,520
+2 = +½ = +1,260
+3 = +⅓ = +0,840
+4 = +¼ = +0,630
+5 = +⅕ = +0,504
+6 = +⅙ = +0,420
+7 = +⅟7 = +0,360
+8 = +⅛ = +0,315
+9 = +⅟9 = +0,280
-9 = -⅟9 = -0280
-8 = -⅛ = -0,315
-7 = -⅟7 = -0,360
-6 = -⅙ = -0,420
-5 = -⅕ = -0,504
-4 = -¼ = -0,630
-3 = -⅓ = -0,840
-2 = -½ = -1,260
-1 = -⅟1 = 2,520

Ranks converted to scores are a mess; but strangely however, some voters want to rank.

We could learn much from honeybees about democracy; Score-Voting is the best voting system known for single-winner.

Do I spot a Phineas and Ferb reference, or is is just a coincidence?:twilightsheepish:

7227458
I only spotted that after I had finished writing.

Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it! :twilightsmile:

Wow. Finally read this.

Is a cute story involving the striped insects, and every pony in town watching the latest weirdness going on. It's entertaining even before the party starts! :yay:

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