- Member Since 27th Jul, 2015
- offline last seen April 9th
Yes Indeed
An amateur writer of mostly vore fetish stories. I appreciate critiques and criticism. My "home base" is http://aryion.com/g4/user/yes
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Pardon my language, but that was one hell of a good horror story... take my thumbs up whether you want it or not
Too short.
I wanted to see Luna pull off the full four.
7214152
They can't do a full tour. Luna has to regurgitate her alive, for the bet.
7214316 Not full tour full FOUR.
7214441
Oh. Sorry, I thought it was a typo. Yeah, now that I think about it, that makes sense. I didn't realize this was marked complete.
...that's it?
That was a REALLY nice first chapter... I say first chapter because It NEEDS to be continued for it to be considered a story. =/
Hey guys. I just wanna address the issue of the story's length. I'm not gonna make an excuse for myself, but I wrote this story mostly to shake myself out of a slump. I wanted to challenge myself to write a story in a day. Which I did. But, a lot of the criticism has inspired me a bit. Sometime down the line I think I'd like to revisit this story and, well, create an actual story out of it. Using this chapter as the prologue, I think I should be able make a multi chapter story out of it. But like I said, this is a bit down the line. And despite the complaints, I appreciate the positive response to it.
Cheers
Hmph, they have no problem eating ponies, but they can't even kill one rather stupid cherngelerng queen on their own.
Pathetic!
I'll shown them how REAL predator operates!
Pinkie! Cupcake time!
My biggest criticism is that this was too short. It's such a brief glimpse into the dark aspect of the alicorn's lives that it leaves one wanting for more. There's not explanation on why they do it, whether the same goes for Twilight and Cadence, and there's especially a void needed to be filled exploring their full views on eating ponies. The actual vore was good, but again too short. I'd have liked to see the maid with the other three ponies in the dare, perhaps regurgitated to ask the Princesses why they're doing this.
I especially love how casual they are about all this.
Celestia sitting there, digesting 3 ponies while she enjoys some time with her sister.
I imagen that she doesn't do it for any particular reason other then it feels good.
And maybe she got a little addiction, constantly seeking out ponies and stuffing them down her throat to enjoy that feeling of fullnes and struggles.
Going a day without a pony in her belly being like a cigarret free day for a heavy smoker :P
Would be nice to see a normal day from her perspective, keeping her vorish urges a secret while in court, but secretly eyeing all the ponies and servants around her for who would make a good snack.
And for who would enjoy it, a nice disposal scene :P
For further story reasons, They could have a deal with Chryssalis.
So many ponies vanishing down Celestias and Lunas throat sure would be noticed, so they get changelings to replace their victims.
7216422
wtf noooooo
Part of me wants a chapter 2... where they let the maid out, chastise her for eaves dropping... and then promote her as long as she helps them maintain their diet. And keeps their secret.