Look at a M&M and what do you see. Multiple colors. Round-ish shapes. Big M stamped on the front. No one ever thinks about the interesting things.
Like what if they could talk.
Like what if they where intelligent.
Like what if they could take you to court on criminal charges.
----
Pitcure and the M&M brand belongs to Mars, Incorporated
MLP belongs to Hasbro
All final rights are reserved to them. This is a fan fiction.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is either going to be hilariously stupid or stupidly hilarious.
Whichever it is, I want to see more.
It's a nice chapter, but there are a few cases of messed up grammar or just parts that needed something added or should be rewritten.
it's should be its.
make this: "moved toward the throne, attempting to gain his princess' attention."
make this: "the guard answered, clearly uncertain of what to say."
put a comma between magic and the.
"as if her name was anything to judge by,"
add a comma between being and similar, and again after minotaurs.
"of an"
do you mean black irises and white pupils?
remove one of the for's
If you're going to write 'till, don't forget the apostrophe, and "believe"
""All rise for her excellence, Princess Celestia,” the bailiff yelled."
put a comma after again, and remove the "with her".
"being's"
"guards, ponies"
until only has one l
"workplace, and brought to a world that was not"
I'm sorry I put so much, but you did ask for people to let you know of errors.
7212650 All fixed. And I did ask for those errors to be pointed out, so thanks.
7212819
Yeah... I had half of the class to do anything... So I edited a random fanfiction XD