• Member Since 14th May, 2015
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

LordMentat


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Look at a M&M and what do you see. Multiple colors. Round-ish shapes. Big M stamped on the front. No one ever thinks about the interesting things.

Like what if they could talk.
Like what if they where intelligent.
Like what if they could take you to court on criminal charges.

----


Pitcure and the M&M brand belongs to Mars, Incorporated
MLP belongs to Hasbro
All final rights are reserved to them. This is a fan fiction.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

This is either going to be hilariously stupid or stupidly hilarious.

Whichever it is, I want to see more.

It's a nice chapter, but there are a few cases of messed up grammar or just parts that needed something added or should be rewritten.

With it’s multitude

it's should be its.

moved toward the throne attempting to gain his princesses attention.

make this: "moved toward the throne, attempting to gain his princess' attention."

the guard answered, but was clearing uncertain of what to do.

make this: "the guard answered, clearly uncertain of what to say."

Opening the doors with his magic the guard turned to

put a comma between magic and the.

a she if the name was anything to judge by,

"as if her name was anything to judge by,"

She was a bipedal being similar to the minotaurs

add a comma between being and similar, and again after minotaurs.

She was about the size of a average pony

"of an"

had white irises and black pupils

do you mean black irises and white pupils?

legal adviser and attorney for for Ms.Pie

remove one of the for's

has not been revealed to the public till I belive

If you're going to write 'till, don't forget the apostrophe, and "believe"

“All Rise for her excellence Princess Celestia,” the bailiff yelled.

""All rise for her excellence, Princess Celestia,” the bailiff yelled."

again along with another being with her.

put a comma after again, and remove the "with her".

the beings name

"being's"

guards-ponies

"guards, ponies"

All untill one day, without warning or

until only has one l

from his workplace to brought to a land not his

"workplace, and brought to a world that was not"

I'm sorry I put so much, but you did ask for people to let you know of errors. :applejackunsure:

7212650 All fixed. And I did ask for those errors to be pointed out, so thanks. :scootangel:

7212819

Yeah... I had half of the class to do anything... So I edited a random fanfiction XD

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