• Member Since 17th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen April 11th

Ozone31


I Got Street Savoire Faire

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It is believed that the first Primarch to fall from the Emperor's light was Lorgar of the Word Bearers, who then proceeded to corrupt several of his brothers-including Horus Lupercal himself-leading to the Horus Heresy.
This information was false. Another Primarch had fallen once before and the fall of one Legion led to this Legion's existence and that of one other to be completely expunged from Imperial records.

The Forgotten and The Purged, The Second and The Eleventh, the first two Astartes Legions to face off in an all out war-a war that Equestria was dragged into. Will the Legiones Astartes be willing and/or able to protect this new world as they would their own? Or would Chaos consume this realm through the new crack in reality?


This story is on a 'trail run' sort of thing. I wrote these first two chapters to see how the idea would be received. I may continue if I get to a place in my other story where I feel I can leave it for a bit, or if this is asked for enough - not that I expect it will be :twilightblush: Call me a realist.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 22 )

Just googled the nicknames of the Beasts of the Storm, they're all Beyblades

Needs more Nurgle.

there is sou many times l can call heresy before my throat gets sore, where to even begin with. How can they fight when 100 % of their weaponry is worthless because they cant use without fingers. And how can 3 meter tall space marine turned to one meter xeno could possibly drive or fly because they don't reach pedals nor cant press buttons because they are out of reach.Space marines have ports in their back what they will plug in their transports but if their armor if smaller sou are the ports, switch makes it impossible to work. And if their armor is changed to fit their form then why haven't their whole ship warp twisted, it would be way too selective to do just that. Ork will have a field day butchering meter tall weaker space marine ponies.

Simply wonderful! Well written and entertaining at the same time without becaming tedious. I think you should continue this and furthermore I can't wait to see how you handle 'full' battle scenes. Also you got a good plot: interesting without being exaggeratedly over-complicated. Also good description ability and I liked the space you reserved for character development. Really this project has a lot of potential if handled correctly: exactly how you are proceeding now. You have my compliments man! Keep this up!

8960462
Entry V is currently in production and going well in my books (pun unintended :derpytongue2:).

I thank everyone for their compliments and encouragement. Criticisms are being taken into account.

All of this was backed up by the massive fleets of the Eleventh Legiones Astartes force - The Apocalyptians, clad in glazed, void-black armour constructed of Adamantite and Plasteel plates encased in Ceremite. Every member of the Legion had their gauntlets coloured in a royal purple, representing their closeness to the Emperor's Children. Their Legion symbol was a claw of the same colour, with the sharp points dipped in blood red, trailing lines of viscera across a green-skin's ugly maw. They were a well known legion in the northern sectors of Mankind's territories, famous for their impossible combination of Space Wolf savagery and the decorum of the Emperor's Children. Together with the system's Imperial Navy and Guard garrisons, they had successfully defended the small sector of space for a millennia, without a single Xenos laying foot, claw or tentacle upon one of its worlds.

Impressive. So... Ultrasmurf levels.

Qrow stood upon the main bridge of the Excalibur, in front of his golden command throne, clad a scaled up version of the matt-emerald green power armour that was the Scarred Swords' primary colour. Every astartes in the legion wore this colour proudly, alongside a secondary colour exclusive to their company within the legion. The first company had shining gold adorning their left greaves, the sixth had shining, blood-red right arms and the tenth all had snow-white helms. It was this individuality within the legion that made them stand out against the more dull legions like the Death Guard and the Imperial fists, to whom the Swords had always been close.

Capitalize Sixth, Tenth, First Company. Matte instead of Matt. Clad in a, not clad a. Asartes is a proper noun.

8976850
Thank you immensely for the grammar help. English is my first language but when I'm typing, mistakes seem to just slip past my notice :twilightsheepish:

have you read Horus heresy books because i can see many things that just don't connect like the fact that they have wrist mounted bolters, how can they have thous in sou large amounts they are given only to some terminators and even then not everyone gets them one that i know one having is Abbadon and maybe most close bodyguards. And modifying all of the bolters to do that would take months because of low number of tech-marines. How can guard be religious, because when bombing of istvaan 3 happened did we first hear about it and even then they had do that in secret because if found out they would be shot immediately. Your legion could not have been in ullanor there were only luna wolves, ultramarines and white scars in there and i am quite sure that your legion were purged way before that. And should Council of Nikaea be at effect then banning use of all psychic powers? And how are sisters of silence mutated? they negate warp energy because they have no soul, therefore warp does not effect on them.

9049242
1. The Scarred Swords specialise in melee combat, so they had wrist mounted bolters forged en masse as a priority - as wrist mounted bolters would restrict them far less than traditional bolters.
2. Quoting the 40k wiki: "During the Great Crusade, however, many ordinary Imperial citizens found that the light of reason and truth brought by the Emperor was not enough to fulfill their basic human psychological desires or provide protection from the real supernatural threats that existed in the universe, and so they took to worshiping Him as a deity to fulfill their spiritual needs." Many Imperial citizens and soldiers worshipped Him 'quietly'
3. When has it ever been stated that only one war was fought for Ullanor and all records of the Second's battles there would have been erased, following their disappearance.
4. Qrow and the other leaders have banned the use of unicorn powers within their ranks, until they have time to discuss the matter in greater detail, in accordance with the Emperor's decree at Nikaea
5. Blanks may be immune to warp energies when in real space but, like a heat shield before a star, I'd imagine being exposed directly to the infinite powers of the warp itself would stretch their immunity too far.

All in all, my story isn't canon and I am allowed to have some leeway as a result :derpytongue2:
And I've read the first three books.

9049671
I just found it convenient that they have wrist mounted bolters switch no other tactical marine has even thou there is other melee preferring legions.That would mean that they found it in a STC, kept it a secret and mass produced it.
And what comes to religion "let the galaxy burn" book explains it very well because crew in a vengeful spirit had a saint ho did miracles and predicted future. And how imperial army knows about demons or chaos gods even thou even primarchs did not know about them, only when horus heresy happen did they appear, before that they were called warp entities.
Sou you are saying that after luna wolves, ultramarines, and white scars took ullanor and constructed huge parade field switch after Horus became warmaster, there was another war?
This this does not explain all mutations like in fear of threat book where Sanquinius told Horus that his legion would not be erased like thous 2 others because of his gene-flaw, sou that does not explain why sister of silence and human mutated too same way.
All of this would not really matter if you just did parody there for you could do anything you want because that would not be real 40k.

9050061
The boltgun isn't a Standard Template Construct, it was designed by the Emperor and modified into many forms over the course of its service. The Scarred Swords also find it convenient to not have to slug a hand held bolter around with them all the time, that's why they commissioned their Mechanicus contingent to manufacture them.

The Imperial Army forces of the Purge Fleet were briefed on Chaos, alongside ALL members of the force, by the Emperor Himself - indirectly through Primarch Qrow.

The Swords fought over Ullanor to secure orbit before the other legions arrived, but records of their involvement were expunged from records.

And I'm not going to call my story a 'Parody', because a parody is a comedic spin-off of something. This is neither a spin-off or a comedy, it is a work of fanfiction - simply theorising about the fate of the II and XI Adeptus Astartes legions.

9056405
Sou you are saying that emperor ho killed untold millions of civilians because they believed in gods while saying that there are no gods and that they should believe in imperial truth, is now telling about chaos gods to some random imperial army regiment a thing that he did not even tell to his favorite son Horus. All the while that same regiments believes that he is god even thou emperor had ordered ultramarines to kill whole population of Khur because they believed that emperor is a god. Making whole keeping chaos gods a secret completely and utterly pointless.
And you are saying that one legion went in a heart of a ork empire to fight probably the most powerful ork fleet know at that time and won, a thing that took combination of 3 legions to achieve. And don't know about you but this is comedy gold.

9057463
Then I'm happy to be able to make you laugh :twilightsmile:

Long story short, He told THE ENTIRE purge fleet about Chaos 'cause they were being sent explicitly to fight it and cause of super secret, Emperor-knows-all reasons.
Once again, the worshipping the Emperor thing was something that large portions of the Imperium did secretly and discreetly, some Army troopers quietly asking for protection is hardly on the same level as Lorgar's Monarchia on Khur.
And yes, the Swords did fight their way through The Ork fleet to Ullanor. How, you may ask? Simple, The Excalibur is 36 miles long and is more heavily armed than the rest of the Purge Fleet combined, armoured enough to survive a crash landing from orbit with very minor damage and can carry the full might of the 2nd Legion plus Titan, Imperial Knight and Mechanicus support.

Hope this clears things up.

9079462
okay there is sou much mary sueing before your "legion" becomes sou utterly ridiculous. Your exalibur is 2 times bigger Macragge's Honour and maybe bigger that imperial fist phalanx, and somehow can crash to a planet without taking next to nothing damage, let me remind you that a asteroid what killed all dinosaur was only 10 to 15 km long. And blackstone fortress is maybe as big as your excalibur and it crashed on cadia and destroyed it. And is your answer to anything really a " well everything written about in horus heresy is just imperial propaganda and that my legion was only thing that allowed imperium to expand winnign every famous battle, coming this untold saviour of the empire" . subtle

That Hellblade is a good design, although I'm not sure why Furious never shared it with Vulkan.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to honor that poor mare

PS. I hope we see more of that Kill Team

Hey, at least Pinkie didn't come riding in on an anvil. My head still aches.

This is getting exciting. Continue!

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