I scribble stuff down on occasion, hopefully something worth while will come out of one of them.
Based on a picture done by Mellowhen and commissioned by Krown. Berryshine ends up running into Gilda who's currently trying to work her way back to her 'flying weight' after fattening up a bit from her successful GryphonScones business.
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Is this a continuation of Rarity and the pride of griffonstone? If so id love seeing Rarity trying to work of the weight she gained. But I hope this continues and like where its going
Good idea, but the execution could be better. The word "ass" in the beginning seemed a bit out of place. Perhaps a synonym like "rear" or "hind end"?
Aside from that, there were some minor editing errors that need fixing.
All in all, a good idea, but it needs work and all but screams for a second chapter.