• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

PhealGud


I scribble stuff down on occasion, hopefully something worth while will come out of one of them.

T

Based on a picture done by Mellowhen and commissioned by Krown. Berryshine ends up running into Gilda who's currently trying to work her way back to her 'flying weight' after fattening up a bit from her successful GryphonScones business.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Is this a continuation of Rarity and the pride of griffonstone? If so id love seeing Rarity trying to work of the weight she gained. But I hope this continues and like where its going

Good idea, but the execution could be better. The word "ass" in the beginning seemed a bit out of place. Perhaps a synonym like "rear" or "hind end"?

Aside from that, there were some minor editing errors that need fixing.

All in all, a good idea, but it needs work and all but screams for a second chapter.

Login or register to comment