• Published 17th Jun 2012
  • 4,603 Views, 68 Comments

Screwball Over - Warren Hutch

Third part of the "Screwball Trilogy". A profusion of peculiar pygmy ponies plagues Ponyville.

  • ...

Chapter 4

As the bearers of the Elements gathered round to discuss solutions with Equestria's immortal rulers, Button stood nearby with a troubled look on her face. She looked down at the milling throng of tiny eqimorphs below, and then cast a long look at Davenport, who was preoccupied with holding the door shut with his hind legs. The beige mare took a deep breath and walked over to him, a solemn look on her face.

He met her gaze with a gentle smile as she approached. "How're you holdin' up there, sweetheart?"

She glanced behind her at the princesses and heroes in deep consultation, and leaned in to speak to him in a low voice. "Davenport, open the door. There's something I have to do."

The smile fled from his face as he looked in his wife's eyes. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Button's face was serene with terrible resolve. "Discord was wrong. Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony didn't pull out the 'plug' and unleash this catastrophe. I pulled myself out. And I think that I'm the only one who can stop it."

Her voice faltered as she reached up a hoof to caress his cheek. "I'm afraid this'll be the third time I'll be leaving you in the lurch. Three strikes and I'm out." Tears began to well in her eyes. "I hope you can forgive me."

Davenport's green eyes went wide in disbelief. "But... but..."

She reached up with her other hoof and held his face between them. "I wanted so much to open that store with you, to go on more wonderful trips with you, to give you a house full of beautiful foals, and to grow old sitting next to you on the best couch we could find. But right now nopony's dreams are gonna get to come true if I don't put a stop to this madness."

With that she leaned in and kissed him, tender and lingering and sweet as tears rolled down both ponies' faces. It was a tremendous act of will for the beige mare to disengage, averting her amber eyes before she lost all her resolve. The tan stallion stepped aside from the door, choking back a sob, and allowed her to slip through.


Rainbow Dash drew herself up and crossed her forelegs in front of her chest. "I say we take a big boulder and just block it off. Easy peasey, mild and breezy."

Rarity huffed and turned up her snout. "And I suppose you're implying that I should supply the boulder."

Applejack gave the alabaster unicorn a wry look. "Sugarcube, y'all gotta git over the whole Tom thing. Nopony blames ya fer gettin' hornswoggled by that patchwork sidewinder. He got us all the same with his bamboozlin' ways."

Twilight sadly shook her head. "I doubt Discord would make it that easy to stop. If I were to hazard a guess, any obstruction would face a build up of pressure as more and more little creatures popped into existence behind it, until the object's structural integrity failed or it was blasted free."

Dash frowned, giving her forelock a petulant toss. "Nuts! There's gotta be something out there we could seal it off with."

Pinkie Pie's voice sounded out, her usual chipper tone quite absent. "Not something, somepony..."

They all turned to see her craning her neck over the railing, her mane and tail draping down in leaden sheets around her slumped shoulders.

They all exchanged uncertain glances, as Applejack spoke up. "D-don't be silly, Pink. Ain't no pony could keep that sorta thing under their hat..."

Pinkie turned to them with tears welling in her eyes as she pointed toward the street below. "I'm not being silly, I'm being the opposite of silly. Look!"

They all crowded to the edge of the balcony with the princesses looming behind them. Down below, the distant beige figure of Button Stitch trotted out through the shimmering force field of magic that Twilight had laid down earlier that day. The bright yellow and green propeller beanie bobbed in the grip of her teeth.

When she stepped out into the horde of little pink and purple creatures, they parted before her, their babble raising in intensity as she went out among them. They formed a circle around her as she stopped and sat on her haunches, raising the beanie over her head with her hooves.

Twilight Sparkle's eyes went wide in horror as she reached out a hoof. "NO! Stop her!" An instant later she winked out in a flash of white light as two princesses and two pegasi dove over the rail with flaring wings.

The cap settled on Button's brow as the lavender unicorn burst into existence beside her. "Button, take that off right now!"

Her horn sparked with magic as she tried to yank the beanie away, only to find herself thrown through the air by a backlash of kinetic energy as the bizarre headgear remained firmly rooted in place.

Rainbow Dash arrived a split second later, clapping her front hooves on the propeller. It started spinning rapidly, turning her into a wailing multicolored disk before flinging her away in a spiraling trajectory over the rooftops of Ponyville.

The soft thud of a pony crashing through a thatched roof echoed in the distance, followed by a faint, sandy voice calling out in shaky reassurance. "I'm okay!"

A trickle of syrupy pink liquid began to trail down Button Stitch's forehead, winding into her eyesocket and blending with her tears as they rolled down her cheek.

Fluttershy touched down beside the prostrate unicorn and helped her to an unsteady sitting position. The beige shopkeeper gave them a sad smile. "I'm sorry about that. I guess it wants to stay where it is."

Twilight shook her head to clear it, looking at her with pleading eyes. "Why? Why are you doing this?"

The princesses landed beside her, their delicately chiseled faces eloquent with shock and dismay.

Button shrugged and waved a hoof at the beanie on her head as another trail of pink started down from the brim. "Discord said that I was meant to be a plug for this thing. I just thought it was time to put myself back in my proper labradoodle pimento."

She let out a long, shuddering sob as a torrent of pink with white and purple swirls oozed out over her face, as if a can of paint had been overturned on her head. As the horrified ponies looked on, it flowed over her shoulders and back and dribbled down her legs and haunches, until she was completely covered. It seemed to seep into her coat, going from shiny and damp to dry in seconds. The lank curls of her mane began to twirl and flow with an uncanny life of their own, going purple with white spirals. On her flank, the image of a screw and baseball resolved out of the vanishing pink glaze.

The creature bowed its head, sounding a mournful piano chord. Transparent cubes appeared at the corners of its eyes and dropped with a rattle to the cobblestones at its rubbery hooves as its shoulders shook.

The two princesses and their faithful pony subjects had not been aware of the hush that had fallen over Ponyville as they stared aghast at Button Stitch's transformation, but their ears perked up as the sound of tiny sniffles and whimpers arose from the carpet of miniature pony creatures around them.

The full sized version rubbed its fore hoof across its eyes, knocking away a few small cubes, and opened them to reveal a pair of spiraling purple irises. It stood with a resolute look on its face, and turned toward the center of town, rearing up with a raised front hoof. "Ba weep graw neep ninibong! Kelbo normunchis qwalabimbingy datootle! Watanka mooty! Diddy wah diddy!"

As one the sweeping pink horde of miniature ponyoids turned to face their interlocutor, replying in unison with a multitude of squeaky voices. "Diddy wah diddy!"

Princess Celestia leaned in and nudged Twilight with a look of puzzlement on her face. "Could somepony tell me what diddy wah diddy means?" The lavender unicorn could only shrug helplessly at her mentor.

Princess Luna pawed at the ground, her brow furrowing beneath her ebon tiara. "T'would further behoove us to know whether this creature intends us weal or woe..."

Screwball looked over its shoulder, straining to focus its swirling eyes in their direction. It spoke slowly, painstakingly squeezing out each syllable. "Doo knot bea afrode... af... afrayed. Thay umdurstind. Diz warld knot foar theb. Thay gow hmoe nou!"

With that, it turned away, reaching up with its fore hoof to grasp the brim of the propeller beanie and giving it a tug. The cap lifted it off with an audible pop, releasing a dome of mane into writhing spiral shapes that almost resembled a twisted sort of tiara. With a look of concentration on its face, it took hold of the edges of the cap and turned it inside out, and then held it down at ground level.

With its free hoof it beckoned to the horde of little creatures, who approached it with a subdued gibbering. One by one, they walked into the inverted cap, vanishing in a soft puff of smoke, the propeller turning a quarter turn like a turnstile with each tiny ponyoid that passed through.


As dusk began to gather, the final tiny duplicate stood at the entry to the inside out beanie. It looked up at Screwball with a crooked toothed smile, and spoke with what could be termed a solicitous tone. "Bing?"

The spiral eyed gatekeeper nodded, reaching out to pat the little creature on the head. "Bada bing! Cromutney klaatu, barada nikto." In response, the diminutive pony surged up and hugged the larger being's outstretched hoof, then let loose and skipped through the opening, causing the propeller to make one final quarter turn.

Its task complete, Screwball let out a sound like a descending xylophone scale and flipped the cap right side out once more, then placed it on its head, recapturing the loose tendrils of its mane beneath the yellow dome.

It climbed to its feet and faced the princesses and the bearers of the Elements, who had gathered to keep vigil as it went about its task. The swirling ponyform scrunched up its features as it struggled to articulate its words. "Thair, jsut mi gnou. Mi awer teh ownley wan lepht."

The princesses stepped forward, the elder casting a soft glow as her younger sibling sparkled in the deepening gloom. They had been watching solemnly all afternoon, only excusing themselves briefly to raise the moon and lower the sun.

Celestia gave a nod to her sister and addressed the pink and purple creature. "And what are we going to do with you? You are no longer a thing of this world, and we are uncertain if you are a danger to it or not."

Screwball heaved a sigh resembling a morose, off key harmonica, and stumbled out a response. "Mi umpderstab. Mi gow fahr alway. Kno bi dagner to pnomies."

It raised its hoof to its mouth and blew on it, puffing out its cheeks as its eyes went crossed. Its flanks expanded as if they were being inflated and it began to rise up from the ground. The thing hung its head as more glittering cubes dropped from its eyes and clattered on the paving stones.

A fierce cry sounded from the doorway of the library tree, startling everypony who stood about bearing witness. "NO! You are NOT going anywhere!"

Davenport galloped up to the floating pink poniform and reared up, throwing his forelegs around the creature's neck in such a tight embrace that its swirling eyes bugged out as it made a sound like a squeaky toy. He buried his face in its dull pinkish coat, tears streaming down his face. "You are coming home with me, Button Stitch."

The creature raised a shaking hoof, trying weakly to pry him loose. "D-dabenporp... Mi knot Bupdon endymoor."

He held her tighter, dropping to his haunches and pulling the bobbing equimorph down toward the ground. "I don't care how you look or how you talk. You're still my wife, and I still love you."

Princess Luna shared a glance with her sister as she stepped up beside her, and cleared her throat for attention. "We are touched by the faith thou dost keep with thy beloved, but..."

Davenport turned and fixed both princesses with a steady gaze. "If you're planning to banish her, your Highness, then... then I'm ready to give you plenty of reason to banish me too."

Screwball squirmed in his grasp, the cubes from its eyes tumbling down over the earnest stallion's shoulder. "Dabvney pleatze. Mi knaut worp itz. Phind anober myar, phorket haboud mi."

The tan stallion closed his eyes and began rocking the stunned being back and forth. "No! I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around or desert you..." He squeezed tighter, causing the pink and purple creature's swirling eyes to bulge. "Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never tell a lie or hurt you."

A strangled honk bubbled up from the depths of the equine thing's chest, and suddenly its head and rump began to rapidly expand on either side of Davenport's embrace like a balloon with a string tied around its middle.

The gathering of onlookers stared aghast as the tan stallion held on tight, oblivious to the alarming inflation of the spiraling ponymorph. Its limbs and features vanished into the swelling pinkish membrane, save for its wide, spiraling eyes that went crossed as cracks began to form in the surface, streaming coruscating beams of multicolored light.

Pinkie Pie's frantic voice galvanized them all into action. "HIT THE DECK!"

Everypony, including the princesses, threw themselves to the ground as Screwball exploded in a burst of shimmering rainbow sparkles.

As the report sounded in the distance, echoing off the surrounding hills, they all looked up to see Davenport, blinking in confusion with his face tinged with soot and his mane and tail blown straight back behind him. His forelegs were wrapped around an equally disoriented, beige coated mare whose mane stuck out in all directions as she stared into space with slightly crossed amber eyes.

Shreds of pink and purple were slowly drifting down from the sky all around them, and there was a scorch mark on the ground at their feet. The pony couple tottered, and fell stiffly sideways like ponikins that had been shoved over.

Rarity scrambled to her hooves with a shriek. "Button! Davenport!" She rushed forward, with Fluttershy leaping up to follow close behind her, intent on rendering aid to the stricken ponies.

Both mares screeched to a stop as the yellow and green propeller beanie drifted down in front of them. The butter colored pegasus let out a terrified squeak and dove for cover behind her disheveled friend as it came to a stop at about eye level, the propeller on top spinning with a low, ominous buzz.

It shuddered and puffed out a gout of smoke, and with an abrupt "FOOMP" sound, a full sized pony creature popped out of it and landed on the cobblestones with a click of its hooves. It reached up, grasped the cap by its brim, and tipped it politely with a friendly greeting. "Bing!"

Rarity let out another squeal and spun on her hooves, retreating behind Applejack and Rainbow Dash, leaving Fluttershy momentarily exposed before she uncovered her eyes for a peek, realized her situation, and followed the pale unicorn's example with a squeak of terror.

Meanwhile, the princesses got to their hooves with as much dignity as they could muster, ruffling their wings and straightening their crowns as they drew themselves upright and stepped forward to face the newcomer.

The strange creature made a deep bow, holding its beanie over its chest. "Flangle quapookie, Pincenez Celepsterol, Pincenez Loomaw. Flangle noot, Elbermintz ov Harblebeens. Mi corm ing peets. Mi opfer mi hoopf ing fengsnip!"

The elder princess cocked her head, parsing the being's garbled greeting, before a guarded smile came to her face. "You... come in peace? In that case, we are willing to accept a hoof proffered in friendship."

She turned to her sister. "What say you, Princess Luna?"

The dusky ruler of the night cast a dubious gaze over the swirling creature. "We would understand what has just transpired, before we consider acceptance of thine offer."

Twilight Sparkle stepped forward, her brow furrowed in deep thought. "Harmony. Can you feel it, everypony? It's almost like it's in the air. It's like the feeling that lingers after we use the Elements."

Both princesses inclined their heads with their ears pricked. The younger diarch nodded thoughtfully. "Indeed, now that ye maketh note of it. Verily, I felt this sensation in the very roots of my teeth after thou and thy friends had rent asunder the darksome visage of Nightmare Moon."

Screwball stared at the princesses and the unicorn for a long time, its swirling eyes going slightly crossed as it furrowed its brow in thought. An audible "ding" noise sounded, and it smiled a broad, gap toothed smile. "Pleke! Yetz! Mi lurn abowd Harbongee!"

It turned and trotted over to where Button and Davenport were beginning to feebly stir, drawing them up to a wobbly seated position with its forelegs around their shoulders. "Thnaks tu Buptod and Daffenpunt. Mi leurn abwod kiemdnetz, abowd gemberoxity, adn loimalty, adn hodnestee, adn lappderp. Mi lurn abowd fremsnip."

It hugged the stunned pony couple tighter, its pinkish face flushing a bit as it planted a smooch on both ponies' cheeks. "Mi lurnd aboud lorve. Mi umderstang wat bieng ah pomee itz. Harbodee adn lorf fillub mi hearp, nu neeb two keeb Bupdon instide mi."

Twilight's head inclined one direction, then the other, mouthing the words to herself. "So you... you're saying that the magic of friendship filled you and left no more room for Button?"

Screwball shook its head, then nodded, then somehow moved its head diagonally. "Yetz. Beflor, mi nupting. Empdee. Dipscorn pupt Buptong id mi sew mi sumptink, nod nothimk. Thed mi lurn, mi bei somfrink bai mi selph."

Princess Celestia beamed. "And in deciding to be something, and more importantly, by deciding to be a pony with the elements of harmony in your heart, you found your place in this world."

Princess Luna nodded, a pensive expression on her face. "Verily. The lesson thou hast learned is a familiar one to me, one that unfettered mine own heart and soul from the cold and colorless void. I perceive thou art no longer a creature of chaos, and thus I accept thee in friendship as well."

After a moment of deep thought, with a bit of smoke rising from Screwball's ears, it smiled wide and made another bow, floating up off of the ground to hover over its former host and her husband.

The princess of the night shifted her turquoise gaze to Button and Davenport, who had recovered enough of their wits to prostrate themselves before their sovereigns, trying in vain to smooth down their disheveled manes and make themselves a bit more presentable.

She gave them a kind smile. "But lo, 'tis time we commend these most absolute and excellent ponies who did teach thee thy lesson. Arise, dear ones, o humble subjects, and be ye both exalted by thy deeds this night."

Her elder sibling spoke in a clarion voice, her coat and wings seeming to radiate a heartening warmth. "Indeed, my sister! Button Stitch, for your willing sacrifice of all that makes you who you are to save us from disaster, and Davenport Divan Stitch for your unconditional love, that brought not one but two deserving souls back from oblivion, do we honor you as heroine and hero of Equestria, to be remembered for all time, as long as we sisters of the sky may abide and keep our little ponies in our hearts."

Button and Davenport drew close together, holding hooves with their eyes wide in amazement, barely daring to breathe as both princesses stepped up and lightly tapped them on the shoulders with their horns. The two earth ponies bowed low, leaning on one another to keep from rolling onto their backs with their limbs as stiff as table legs.

Princess Celestia turned her attention back to the swirling form that floated above them. "And now, we would officially welcome you to Equestria, Miss... or Mister..."

The pink and purple creature grinned. "Mitz!" As soon as the word passed its lips her outline seemed to subtly shift to more feminine proportions.

The newly minted mare drew in a deep breath. "Mi nome itz Screwallamungadindipoptifindolallypolkaparanoopyballoomapingo!"

She gave them a wink. "Butz efreypomey kawls mi Screwball!"

The princess of the sun cast a wry glance at the princess of the moon, and then drew herself up, waving her gleaming horn like a baton. "Well, Miss Screwball, we proudly welcome you as a new citizen of our land."

A cheery voice erupted from among the assembled bearers of the Elements, along with a high jumping pink and magenta mare and a cloud of confetti. "In other words. IT'S TIME FOR A PARTY!"

Screwball leapt skyward and did a barrel roll, waving all four hooves with glee. "Odelay! Callooh Callay! Parptay!"


A week later, the elderly earth pony groundskeeper who kept the gardens around Canterlot Castle found himself scratching his head under his battered old hat as he stood in a gated off section of the royal sculpture garden next to his wheelbarrow.

He always got a funny kind of feeling when he came in here, mostly centered on the one weird statue of a snakelike mishmash of animal parts that sat on a low granite pedestal with a plaque that said "NO BICKERING" set in its base. The gardener usually shrugged his unease off as his just not getting this newfangled modern art, but this time somepony had snuck in and made some changes to the exhibit.

For starters, somepony had drawn a mustache on the creature's snaggle toothed, equine muzzle in pink paint. They'd also spelled out the word "LOSER" on the grass with shiny brass buttons, placed such that the statue's stony gaze could "see" it.

When he'd found the vandalism this morning, he'd done as he'd been ordered last year when the statue was placed here, which was to drop everything, immediately lock the gates, and go report any unusual occurances to the castle guards.

Word came back to him shortly afterward that he was to leave it as he'd found it until further notice. This, he accepted with his usual rustic ambivalence. It was his job to keep the garden as they wanted it, and if that's how they wanted it, then that's how it'd be. All he had to do was retrieve his wheelbarrow and lock the gates back up.

The only thing that made him pause, that caused him to stop and scratch his head, was the look on the stone statue's unmoving face. The thing's expression was normally one of wide eyed, open mouthed shock and dismay. Not the kind of face he'd put on a statue if he was a sculptor. Heck, it wasn't the kind of head he'd put on a statue either, but there was really no accounting for taste.

Today, however, it seemed slightly different.

The old groundskeeper couldn't help but feel like it looked more than a little bit cross.


Comments ( 51 )

3 things I say about this trilogy.

1. Very awesome, glad to have read it.
2. Probably know the answer, but will we ever see more adventures of Screwball? Like side stories?
3. ...did I just get Rick Roll'd?

761834 3.A. (The tan stallion closed his eyes and began rocking the stunned being back and forth. "No! I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around or desert you..." He squeezed tighter, causing the pink and purple creature's swirling eyes to bulge. "Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never tell a lie or hurt you.") Yeah we absolutely got Rick Roll'd.

Oh, I just love Screwball; love redeems everything!:pinkiesmile:

Oh: as one more thing, Discord is a silly billy meanie beanie. He made a plan that required him to have some measure of control of chaos? "Oh, I have planned for all contingencies, bwah ha ha!" Really?

Hey, I didn't know you were on FIMFiction too!

Am I the only one who would have found it funnier if Button just had to deal with going Screwball every once in a while?
Maybe if a certain alabaster unicorn stopped being a troll and shared the secrets of "organized chaos," we wouldn't be in this mess, hmm? The trick isn't to stay sane, the trick is to use your insanity for good.

Then again, if we weren't in this mess, we'd have no story. So keep doing what you're doing Warren (can I call you Warren?), because whatever your thought process is, IT WORKS AWESOMELY.


Well, Douglas Adams proved, in defiance of linguistics or mathematics, that a trilogy doesn't have to have three parts. :pinkiehappy:

Rick roll. God I hate that song, but here, it works well.

761834 Definitely got rolled. :pinkiecrazy:

Wonderful ending. I'm so glad it was happy. Go, Button Stitch!

klaatu, barada nikto
I see what you did there... :pinkiehappy:

I love this series and am glad you decided to upload it to Fimfiction

"Bah weep grag naw weep nini bong" Missed a couple words but still loved it, you are the first I've ever seen use the universal greeting from the original animated Transformers movie from the 80's.
"Klaatu Verata Nikto" Another good one, glad to see the Army of Darkness here as well.

I was waiting and hoping for the incantation from the Phoenix Gate, from the Gargoyles animated serial... slight disappointment, oh well, can't have your cake and eat it too I guess.

Anyway loved the work, I'm especially happy to see somepony embracing Screwball, single quick scene like so many others, but she just hasn't garnered the following that I think she deserves. Thanks again for a good read, this story made my night. Oh, and you made Screwball 20% cooler.:rainbowkiss:


Army of Darkness was referencing "The Day the Earth Stood Still" with "Klaatu Barada Nikto" :twistnerd:

I never really watched Gargoyles so I never encountered the Phoenix Gate thing. You can only reference what you know. :raritywink:

Anyway, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy::raritystarry::twilightsmile:

Excellent ending(?) to the trilogy!

You are officially one of my favorite authors in the fandom. :moustache:

I caught that too
Did you catch the Zero Wing reference
"what you say princess Luna"
Or kalattu Barrdta NICTO

:rainbowlaugh:I paused myself all three times and LOLed

Yay, transformers reference. Bah weep graw na weep ninny bong.

OKay that ending made everything worth it. Screwballs speech...is a thing of beauty. I may have to see about making a recording of it.

DAMMIT, I just got rickrolled by my fanfiction!

Oddly enough, this is only the second time it's ever happened to me. With the amount of fanfic I read, that's actually surprisingly low.

"No bickering". Nice to see they've learned from past mistakes.

You know, this series really feels like it could be an episode of the series proper!

:trixieshiftright: Not sure if too many references or not enough... probably both. :rainbowwild:

And that unexpectedness of a rickroll... hah! :rainbowlaugh:

Read this all, and I just have to say it - your Screwball stories are PERFECT!!! I wanna read more about her! And about Button and her husband too! Screwball and Button Stitch will become friends? Screwball will have special somepony? Will Pinkie Pie and Screwball became best friends or rivals? What about other mane6? And who made "Loser" and painted mustache on Discord's face - Button or Screwball? And where Screwball will live? And how's Button and Davenport's family business going? And if Photofinish come to Ponyville and see Screwball, what would she say? And what Screwball will answer, when CMC asks her about her cutiemark? And what about that poor wyvern from Everfree Forest, how he's doing? And what will think Derpy, when she'll become acquainted with Screwball? What's Button Stitch's favorite meal? And Screwball's? And how's Screwball will integrate in pony society? And what work will she have to earn bits? And woobala teh in rubbam? Wirubala boop weepa? Woot!

And answer me, please - in Ponyville is really NO ONE who liked Screwball's house-painting? If at least one pony like it and don't wash it away from his house - it will be very comforting to Screwball. Maybe she'll become great artist - surrealist or impressionist...

I'm sure some ponies in town considered the paintings interesting enough to keep, but most of it was just plain hard to look at. Clashing colors that would give you a headache and patterns that would make your eyes go crossed. :raritydespair:

This was a rampage of vandalism, not an artistic exercise, and Screwball was painting over everything, including windows and doors and parts of the houses that would never be painted. :duck:

Screwball will find her place in Equestria, but not as a painter. :unsuresweetie:

> Clashing colors that would give you a headache and patterns that would make your eyes go crossed.

In Russia for such things exists slang word "вырвиглаз", which means "tearouteye".

But art of many artists looks like chaotic vandalism, if it's on the wall of the street, not in gallery. Cubism, impressionism, surrealism, abstractionism and such things can't be obvious as art to everyone.

I hope next story will be soon, and i'll know, what place in Equestria society Scruwball will find...

Also, film by Screwball:

*mechanical female voice* Hello-o. Are you still there?.. *beep*

Here's hoping Screwball can keep her appetite under control, or else the beasts of the Everfree Forest are doomed! :pinkiecrazy:

But seriously, this was a fun, sweet, and funny series of stories, and I'm sorely tempted to read the rest of your work right away because of them. You did a great job.

Third read through all three, still love them.


The tan stallion closed his eyes and began rocking the stunned being back and forth. "No! I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around or desert you..." He squeezed tighter, causing the pink and purple creature's swirling eyes to bulge. "Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never tell a lie or hurt you."

Dammit, you set up this whole series just to rick roll bronies didn't you?
...............:trixieshiftright: Well played sir. Well played indeed.

I think my favorite part of the trilogy is that each feels like it could fit into the length of an episode. Perfect pacing and length.

Wow, this was a blast from the past. I remember these being some of the first fimfics I read before I had an account. A little late, but here's an upvote for all three.

Great trilogy loved it!!! gota say though Luna is either misinformed or in denial that Screwball ant a creature of chaos anymore though. She just happens to have morals and a bit more structured mind than she use too.

-et is a diminutive. Kinda like how a baronet is less than a baron. Or a cygnet is a baby swan. (Which I think was my general inspiration for using the phrase.) Both those associations work well with dragons to me. :twilightsmile:

Discord set up an "amount" of chaos to be unleashed on Equestria, and placed Button as a block or a barrier so that it wouldn't be unleashed right away, kind of like a plug in the end of a hose stopping the water from coming out. If you walk up to a hose with a plug in the end and pull it out, you get sprayed in the face. This was Discord's plan, with Twilight or Celestia being the ones he planned to "soak". :twilightoops:

The plug itself has no control of when the water is released, it only blocks the flow until someone removes it. Button didn't block all the chaos, she was slightly "leaky", which manifested as her turning into Screwball. This was by design. When she was "cured" of being a plug for the chaos, there was nothing to hold the chaos back. :facehoof:

Perhaps you've never worked or played with a garden hose. Here's a demonstration. If there is a bottle of water or soda nearby, hold it upside down over your head and unscrew the cap. The cap is what Button was, metaphorically. What happens when the cap is removed is what Discord was intending, metaphorically. Now go get some paper towels and clean up, literally. :raritywink::ajsmug:

3430347 You know. If you really want to you could try setting up a colab with Warren if you REALLY want to see it done and have some really good ideas. Or maybe you could work out something with him to write a spin-off.

6978740 Thanks for the reply. It was kind of a unfamiliar situation, if not a complicated one (the part about chaos and reality - not literal hoses). I guess it's for the best pacing that the princesses and Discord don't sit there to explain all of that. Thanks.

6981427 Collaborate. I mean to say that you two could talk/message each other to bounce around ideas between each other or work out a co-write, etc. You do seem to have a good amount of ideas for a spin-off which is why I bring it up.

Well, I have some ideas, but my English is not natural, so all writing would be on Warren. If he wants to work on this ideas - I would gladly work with him, but our parts won't be equal, his part will be harder.

6982675 Your English seems perfect to me.You seem like you could write a fan fic on your own with no problem (I've seen other people who speak perfect English and write horribly), but I'll just take your word for it. You should PM Warren and just go for it. If he doesn't have something keeping him too busy then I'm sure he wouldn't mind - after all, he did wrote just about a novel's worth of these Screwball stories.

If you or Warren want my advice, maybe these ideas could be a part of a story-collection -- One fic with each chapter being it's own little short story. It's easy to manage on a tight schedule and easy add on to at any time. And your ideas on their own don't look like they can be a long enough story (at least compared to the parts of the Button Stitch trilogy) so a story-collection seems like the right way to go.

Only when nobody expects them. :pinkiecrazy:

lol maybe you should read the mask or watch the jim carry movie for inspiration lol

:duck: Why? To write a story I've already written?

7049427 good point :rainbowlaugh: wasn't thinking.

Author Interviewer

1) Way back when, you were wringing emotion out of badfic speak before I ever had the inkling to do so myself :D

2) Well, this has one thing in common with Fallout: Equestria: a deeply emotional scene ruined by a reference joke :|

But no, I'm glad I went back through this trilogy, it's been fun. :D

I Love this Story and All, But I think it would have been a bit more meaningful if during the part where Davenport was hugging Screwball, instead of simply reciting lyrics from that Rick Astley song, Davenport would have just said that he won't ever give up on her no matter what or something like that, then Screwball would have said to him that she was an Abomination and/or a Monster & that she doesn't belong, but Davenport would have looked Screwball right in the eyes, told her to look at him, then tell Screwball that she is NOT a Monster, that she is a Pony with a Good Heart, and that her home is here in Equestria, and that she belongs with him, then he hugs her tightly and tells her that Nothing would ever come between the 2 of them, and that the love they share will always find a way and/or never be broken by Anything or something like that, then Screwball would do the Inflate & POP thing, but then again that's just my opinion on the matter so whatever.

Well, you're welcome to imagine that scene playing out that way if hypothetically you had written this story instead of me, but from my perspective Rick Astley said it all pretty succinctly.


I look at it as a reference joke enhanced by a deeply emotional scene. :raritywink:
Potayta potata. :derpytongue2:

Thanks for the revisit and the recs. :twilightsmile:

(Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't permanent.:ajsmug:)

7316660 Yeah but I think Seth MacFarlane(Creator of Family Guy and voice of Peter, Brian, Stewie & Quagmire) pulled it off even better than Rick did:

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