Ponies find themselves going throughout life wishing for a different age. When they are young, the yearn to be just a little bit older, and when they grow old, they wish for the opposite. Life is just a game of age. But for a few ponies who are gifted with special Cutie Marks, their life becomes a game of immortality.
Inspired by ThatSonofaMitch's First Night Alone
Coverart by my friend, F4celess
(Give him a watch! He is awesomeness!)
Read the original version here. Input a password of "Potato"
Chapters (1)
FIRST ON BLOG AND STORY.
This is my lifes goal :)
760526 doctormowinckel.com/pictures/mlp/this_face.gif
XD I loved it, just like all your other works. My personal motto is "Enjoy the moment!" and that's exactly what this conveys.
"Every. Single. Day.." might be a typo, unless you meant it like that. I think it would be "Every. Single. Day.", as she's making a point slowly and meaningfully, as if every day was worth it completely and fully. It could also be "Every. Single. Day..." if she was falling apart or struck by sadness in that moment.
Also, at the bottom, "but what's to say the next minute isn't yours?" could also make sense, but it could also not. "but what is to say the next minute is not yours?" just sounds a bit off to me. "but what's to say the next minute is your last?" Is how I would write it, but that's just me being silly. XD Keep it up!
Wow...Fantasic.
760671 Yay~
I liked it. I've seen tonnes of concepts on immortality and re-incarnation style stuff, but not quite like this.
I thought it actually ended on more of a happier note than some of your other stories, and that was nice too.
I'm really curious how you came about this idea though. Why is it Colgate that's some kind of quantum-leaping immortal?
But yeah, overall I thought it was pretty good, I have no idea how strict EqD is but this is definitely well-written
Speaking of EqD, before you submit it...
"Colgate was walking down the same well-used she had walked many times before,"
"and she couls hear their words in her mind."
Might wanna fix those up
760696 1)Thanks for the praise
2) Look at the description as to where my insperation came from
3) I hereby blame my iPad for any spelling errors and those shall be corrected! (Yes this was written completely from an iPad.)
Amazing, 5*
Sad as hell...
the stories that skip large amounts of time are the saddest for me...
770915 The real question is, was it a good story?
770954
Ya, it kind of reminds me of To be an Alicorn
770992 ermm... Link fail....
771006
Hey! i used the linky button :|
it's not my fault!
16 likes? You don't call that love?
771301 There can be never enough!
Im not goin to lie, that was very sad just as much as it was inspiring. You did a good job, a really awsome kick-ass story.
772029 Huzzah!
771381 Someone's getting cocky. . . :P
Very good story sir.
774112 Not cocky, just "huzzah"ing at the praise.
777199 Thank you.
Liking it... quite.
...MOAR
!!!
779521 It is marked complete.....
It was good, but I didn't really like the way you introduced the HUGE jump in time from their first meet to the graveyard. It was short and could have have been more subtle, which would have been more emotional
sorry
760557 why do i get the feeling that lyra and bon bon are in the same game as colgate
858371 They aren't. Sorry.
858377 ahh well
it would have been nice to see some kind of circle or something
just...fantastic...
953683 Thank you. If you think THIS was good, you should read Shattered Stars or Keepsake Apples.
nice use of a background pony
interesting angle on immortality.
and a touching story.
I think I need an adult...
so sad...
Hold on... is this based off of First Night Alone?(the song)
1539728 I say so in the description.
1539760
God I'm stupid...
not bad. not bad at all.
definitely worth the read.
I liked it! Based off one of my favorite brony songs, and a good story! Good job. Do I must say I pefer the AcousticBrony cover the ThatSonofaMitch verison is good as well.
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I absolutely love that song and this is a very good story with a fantastic rating. I envy you buddy! *Likes and favourites*
Great. You even managed to snuff out that tiny spark of hope that the original ending provided. You truly are the master of sads.
Sad as always, but in that pensive style. I wholeheartedly approve again.
Edit: still no tears :p
Nicely written.
I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad.
...
Bravo
3982212 Both at the same time is what is supposed to happen.
Bittersweet, yo.
I envy Colgate now. Immortality in addition to multiple resets in life while still retaining vague memories would be a dream come true. The brain automatically deletes old memories over time so life would always be new and fresh.
Cool story bra.