Of Wages and Things

by themouthofmush

Some Hot Aftermath

Chapter 3—Some Hot Aftermath

I did a quick check of ingredients that I had at hoof: four dozen or so jalapeños, five habaneros, three dozen tomatoes, eight white onions, ten bushels of cilantro, two jars full of lime juice, four dozen cloves of garlic, and a bag of salt.

I wasn’t sure if that would be enough, but I wouldn’t know until I hit that point.

I pulled out a few of my metal bowls, teaspoon cups, and knives along with a single strainer.

“Okay, that should be enough for a few batches,” I said to nopony in particular.

Just then the door knocked. I did another quick glance over and made my way to answer it, trying to make sure I didn’t knock over any of the stacks of books, tomes, and paper cluttered along the hallway.

I opened the door and saw Icy and Tart. “Hey guys, come on...Applejack, why are you and Rainbow here?”

“Sorry ta intrude on yah Grey, but this was Rainbow’s idea.”

“Hey! You wanted to try it out after you heard about it too.”

I looked at Icy.

“They heard about our wager and what we had to do since you won.”

I glanced over to Pop, who was whistling and trying to be coy. “Wonder where they heard about it from.” I sighed and shook my head. “Well, since you are all here, come on in and take a seat. I haven’t made the salsa yet.”

I lead them to my kitchen—just a typical one you’d see in any big family house; oak countertops, shelves, a small island, and a table that could fit eight ponies comfortably—where they sat down on the pillows provided. Well, it would have been a typical kitchen if it weren’t for all of the books loosely piled along the walls, countertops and windows.

“Looks like you actually cleaned up a little,” Pop said as he took his seat.

“You call this clean? This place looks like an egghead storm destroyed this place.”

I ignored them as best I could as I got behind my island and got to work on the jalapeños with my cutting board.

“So, just to make sure all of you know what to expect,” I said as I separated the skin from the stems. “I’m going to make a few batches of salsa, you guys tasting each one I make, until I think I have one with the right amount of kick to it.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Rainbow said.

“Then you’ve never tried any of his salsa before,” Pop said, shakiness in his voice.

“Come on, it can’t be all that bad.”

“Rainbow, trust me, it is,” Icy said. “The last time he made some, eight ponies lost their taste buds for a few days and three ponies fainted after their first bite.”

I heard a pretty deep gulp.

“Hey, in my defense, I didn’t have anypony taste testing it for me beforehoof.” I started to flatten the strips of tomato and cutting them up. “Hopefully that won’t be the case this time.”

There was a slight silence, maybe they were entranced with the way I was cooking so far or something.

“So Grey...”

I mixed in the tomatoes with the jalapeños then looked up. “Yeah, Tart?”

“Are we allowed to drink anything to help deal with the spiciness while we try your salsa?”

“Oh, almost forgot.” I brought out three pitchers, water, milk, and cider, and placed in front of them with a glass for each. “You could drink either the water or cider”—that got a small yell of excitement out of Rainbow and Pop—“with each batch. The milk will only be allowed to be drunk whenever you want to drop out.”

“Sounds simple enough,” Icy said. That brought a smile to my face.

I went back to my station and started to dice up half of one of the white onions. Everypony else seemed to talking about one thing or another, but I just kept focusing on making the first batch. I finely chopped up a bushel of cilantro, added in a tablespoon and a half of the lemon juice, chopped up six groves of chopped garlic, and sprinkled in a pinch of salt before I mixed all of it together and added just a bit more of salt.

“So, first batch is up.” I placed it between them as well as some chips. “I did this with three jalapeños. This is just the mild batch, so it shouldn’t be all that spicy.”

Icy and Pop were cautiously looking at it, but Rainbow took a good amount of it as she dipped a chip. “Mmmm, not bad.”

“It isn’t spicy?” Pop asked her, a bit skeptic.

“Nope, not at all,” Rainbow replied as she took another chip. “It’s actually pretty good.”

“Okay then, next batch should be up as soon as that one’s done.”

I left them and went back to the island, repeating the process but with six jalapeños this time.

“This ain’t that bad, sugarcube,” Applejack told me as she dipped into the second batch. “The kick is pretty good, but it could be stronger.”

I went back and did it with nine jalapeños this time.

“Damn, that’s some kick,” Pop said as he drank a bit of cider.

“You know, the cider probably isn’t helping you out,” Icy told him.

They went on a small “debate” as I went back to my island. Now was time to give it some real kick. I used one habanero and two jalapeños.

As soon as they all took a dip, they each chugged their respective drinks.

“Ughhh, what’s with that kick?” Rainbow asked me. “It’s seriously spicier than before.”

“I agree with Rainbow on this one,” Applejack said.

A matching set of “ditto” came from Icy and Pop.

I smiled at them. “One habanero and two jalapeños.”

“Seriously!?” Pop went for a cup of milk, but I stopped him.

“To quote you, Pop, ‘What’s the point of a contest if there’s no prize for it?’ I was going offer who lasted the longest between you and Icy twenty bits, but guess I’ll rephrase it for everypony: whoever lasts the longest gets twenty bits.”

Pop slowly turned to face me, a bit of sweat starting to flow down his face. “Twenty bits? No strings attached? Just like that?” I nodded to each question. “Well then, looks like I’m going to win this.”

Icy sighed and shook his head while Applejack and Rainbow drank a cup of cider.

I laughed a little and went back, using a habanero and five jalapeños.

As soon as they took a bite, I swore I saw steam coming out of their ears. Rainbow and Applejack tried to just get done with as many chips as they could, while Icy and Pop just tried to load their chips with as much as possible. Each of them was some shade of red and sweating a lot.

I went back and used a habanero and eight jalapeños, but when I got back to the table, Pop was knocked out with a spilled cup of milk below him on the floor. Looks like I have to clean that up. I placed down the new batch. Applejack was done after her first bite while Rainbow and Icy just shoveled down as much as they could, mixing it in their mouths with cider and water respectively.

I went back and made a new batch, one habanero and eleven jalapeños. As soon they took their first bite, it kind of looked like they were going to pass out.

“This isn’t spicy at all,” Rainbow told Icy. “I could have this all day.”

“Same here. Not spicy at all.”

They took another bite and I could tell they each regretted it, each of them looking at the pitcher of milk. They each went for a third dip, each of them shaky about it. Their chips almost went into their mouths, but Rainbow dropped her and went straight to chugging the milk pitcher.

“All you have to do now is eat that chip and you win Icy,” I told him.

He gulped and did just that. He made it a point to show me that he swallowed it before he rushed down to my bathroom and threw up, guessing by the sounds coming from it.

I looked around at everypony, Pop was still passed out, Rainbow was trying to become one with the remains of the milk, Applejack seemed to be nestling a possible headache, and Icy was throwing up in my bathroom. Seemed like a pretty good turnaround, if you ask me.

Author's Note:

The salsa making process: you prepare the jalapenos-slice off the tip, slice off the sides and keep slicing off sides until only the stem and seeds are left behind, bunch up the slices but into a neat row, slice and dice the bunch, repeat for each jalapeno you want to use (1 if you want a mild taste and 2-3 for a spicier taste)-add in tomatoes, following the process used for the jalapenos, add in the onion-dicing up half of a large onion-chop up some cilantro, however much you believe to be enough, add in about a tablespoon of freshly squeezed or bottled lime juice, add in 2 tablespoons of chopped garlic, roughly 5-7 peeled and finely chopped or garlic powder if you don’t have any cloves on hand, add some salt, a tablespoon before you mix things up and another afterwards if you want, and mix everything together. Boom, you got some tasty looking Pico de Gallo.

If you want to get a spicier kick, either add in more jalapenos or substitute for serrano or habanero peppers.

Comments

[Magic Step]

Squee hee hee, this one was so adorable and funny!

I don't even have anything else to say because I'm giggling too much!

[themouthofmush]

7663535 yes