• Member Since 27th Feb, 2015
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Moosetasm


A partially insane Knoxville Brony who likes to write. I also edit. And Vector too. Who knew? Not I. If only I could focus on just one...

E

This story occurs in the aftermath of "No Second Prances."


Be forewarned before reading further that this story contains spoilers for that episode.


After Trixie's magic show, Twilight seemed satisfied with the results of her endeavors. Starlight had a new friend, Trixie was no longer a solo show, everything was going well... right?

When Celestia hears how Twilight handled things, she has some choice words for her former student.


Special thanks to CoffeeMinion for his editing prowess, and for helping me to prevent the story from going even further down the dark hole I had found.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 60 )

Phew... From the story's description I thought this would be one of those many accusation fics where the pony in question didn't get a chance to defend themselves but thankfully it was not that. It isn't half bad anyway, although in my mind Trixie went on with the show because she was just stubborn... Agh, I'm rambling now aren't I? Anyways, the only real problem with this that I have besides something about Twilight's charicter seeming off (Maybe I'mwrong on that.) is that ending with Pinkie seems out of place for the general tone of the story. Also, I'm confused, this story seems to be complete but it says incomplete.

This seems pretty final. Is this story actually incomplete?

At what point does personal responsibility matter? I ask that because if (based on the story) what Celestia said is true then external forces mean more than the personal decisions a character makes. If we apply that to the real world that means that if someone does something wrong it's not their fault because others could have stopped them from doing it overtly or covertly.

Truth be told from Twilight's perspective she was perfectly correct in being wary of such a pairing. The last time two antagonistic characters got together it was Discord and Tirek. While Trixie isn't as powerful as either of them she has endangered Ponyville at least once and captured it once. Starlight Glimmer who has become overtly insecure about certain things could be goaded into bad decisions and has powers equal to that of Twilight and she's an alicorn.

What Twilight should have done is just monitored the situation. Don't force anything and step in if they start doing stuff that's bad or overly dangerous. She also shouldn't have tried to force friendships on Starlight because frankly that doesn't usually work and it didn't there either.

Now after having said all of that, I actually think is a pretty good story. The dialog is crisp and you did capture the fact that Princess Celestia does have a habit of having rather intense reactions to all sorts of situations. I mean this IS the princess who lost it when she didn't get a letter on time.

Twilight feels small in this story and she should. Even though they are equals Twilight does still look up to Celestia. The rebuke and her defense make sense and one part reminded me of one of those Public Service Ads from the 90s which gave me a chuckle.

I also thought the descriptions were apt. They weren't overly wordy and I could easily visualize what was going on. Nobody seemed out of place.

While the story did raise the points above I think it's worth reading and I hope it does well for you. It's good to see you writing again! Keep up the good work.

It's great to see this out at last. :pinkiehappy: I'm pretty sure it's complete, though; unless you're going to add that "bonus chapter." :rainbowwild:

7243514

she has endangered Ponyville at least once

If that's the Ursa, to be fair it was Snips and Snails that brought it to Ponyville. Trixie had no reason to expect they'd do that.

Thank you much for the comments, everypony. This was four weeks... three weeks... four weeks? Anyways, it was rough putting this out, but I felt it needed to be done. I'm sure my fridge logic won't mesh with everypony else's but hay, that's life.

7243288

It was an accusation fic at first, but as I went to expand on the browbeating, I started asking questions, and the answers I came up with were... a mixture of disturbing and intriguing.
Well, she admits that if she tries it she's toast, plus she exhibits a few of the "classic" warning signs, I'm not convinced at all.
What ramble? :pinkiecrazy:
As for Pinkie, I felt it needed something to hoist it out of depressionville. :pinkiesad2:
Aaaaaaand fixed, now we are complete. :twilightsmile:

7243343

Fixed. This is what I get for posting at 3am :twilightblush:

7243514

It was originally going to be like Mr. Bricklayer said, an accusation fic, with Celestia browbeating Twilight into the ground. It evolved into something else, especially once I realized that Twilight... has a few flaws that go deeper than just being too focused on her books.

Aaaaand... I don't know what you're talking about.
[youtube=Y-Elr5K2Vuo]

7244085

This is a "rated E" story, so I don't think that "outtake" can ever make the cut, friend.

7244092

"Are you out of your PONY MINDS?"

Those two are the real monsters. :trollestia:

7243514

Twilight feels small in this story and she should. Even though they are equals Twilight does still look up to Celestia.

But they really aren't. Royal titles seem to be dished out in degrees (look at Blueblood), and when you look at what they do, it's been every indication that we're seeing princess with a little p and princess with a big P. All part of having the accumulated political capital from nudging the sun (and for awhile the moon) around the sky and ruling for however many thousands of years.

That said, both are flawed characters. Celestia seems to have left a few important things out of her mentorship over Twilight, and has treat her unfairly from time to time. But she has left it largely up to Twilight to develop her own social persona, so I guess she doesn't actually want a clone?

I'll have to wait to delve into why there are so many "Celestia is disappoint" fics lately until I watch season six.

7245957 No Celestia and Twilight Sparkle are equals. Celestia no longer sends Twilight out on missions. Celestia has stated in the show that she will remain available to give advice but that she also has things to learn from Twilight. Celestia has taken a backseat to Twilight in a number of areas and Twilight has filled in for both Celestia and Luna when times called for it.

What Twilight does do is defer to Celestia's experience and on a personal level still sees her as a mentor figure, even though that's no longer the case. This makes sense because Twilight hasn't been a princess for very long and is still testing the ropes to varying degrees and screws up on occasion. Then again, they all do one way or another. As far as the Celestia disappoint fics coming out I assume it's mostly because Twilight kind of got the stink eye in one episode and ultimately stood up Celestia for a dinner.

7246758 It would be surprising if Celestia (or any of the other alicorns) had nothing to learn from the new alicorn of magic, but the reality would be that Twilight is still new at what she does, while Celestia has had an obscenely long time to build upon her arcane knowledge and political power. The younger very much looks up to and respects the guidance of the elder. I suspect the elder wants her to come into her own and not require constant approval, and at the same time make the correct decisions. But neither is perfect. Now I can't analyze their interaction in detail since I'm a couple seasons behind, but unless five and six have taken a wild detour and launched our view of Equestria a thousand years or so into the future, I don't see how that could change virtually overnight.

I'm not going to argue this point beyond this post because I detest long, winding detours in chapter comments. So feel free to last word exactly how wrong I am without opposition.

And no, I didn't mean to imply that Twilight was lesser a lesser princess like Blueblood's prince, as 'big P, little p' may have suggested, if that's what you were thinking. Just that she has a long way to go before she fills in her own shoes.

7249587 Well, no argument on my part. Twilight does have a lot to learn about being a princess. You're also correct in how I read the big p little p part which is why I said what I said. I hope you have a good rest of your day and I hope we can keep reading quality stories!

Sorry, but I can't take any story seriously when it references a drug PSA, much less that one. Your initial premise holds up fairly well... at least, the high probability of Trixie attempting suicide. There's no reason why eager-to-please, magic-solves-everything Starlight wouldn't include Twilight in the teleport back to the castle.

And then there's the basis for Twilight's grievance with Trixie. Putting aside how much respect Twilight has for her friends, including the significantly less magical Rarity, Trixie is actually a rather impressive unicorn. "Boast Busters" made it clear that her spell repertoire surpasses the average, and it's not just all illusion. She grabbed a rainbow out of thin air and used it as a tangible object! That's pretty impressive. also, coming back to my previous point, Twilight has never shown any kind of condescending bias towards the less magical. Heck, the main reason she didn't immediately wipe the smirk off of Trixie's face in "Boast Busters" was because she was excessively humble about her abilities!
Yes, Starlight was rather dismissive of Trixie's abilities, and Trixie even agreed, but remember that this was a Trixie who had been thoroughly tenderized by the trials and tribulations of life and who was constantly comparing herself to an alicorn. Not the best frame of mind for self-assessment.

As for Celestia... well, I don't have any concrete data to dispute your assertions, but it does still feel forced, trying to pass off headcanon as fact in a way where I can see the teleprompter Celestia's reading from.

So, yeah, while I can sometimes follow the chain of logic that led to this story, the breaks are all too evident. I'm afraid our respective biases make this unpalatable to me.

(Oh, and one more thing: the fleshy bottom of a horse's hoof is called the frog.)

7249889

Yeah, I probably went too far with that one. But it was what got the story going past a mere "Celestia is displeased with your apparent lack of progress" fic. Plus it was one of many attempts I had made to try to make this a less-than-Grimdark-fic. I did remove several other of my poor attempts at levity in the story. I had great reservations about how dark to make it. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with making a truly serious dark-fic.

As for our chains of logic not meshing, we can just call it Skub. :twilightsmile:

I definitely need some work on expressing my concepts better, especially if I came across as saying that Twilight was biased against those who were less magically able. It was supposed to be more geared towards "alternate forms of magic are just wrong."

And I know about the frog thing, I was trying to approximate fingers. The pones seem to just grab everything with their soles (plus butter-frogs sounds too close to a dish that I've had the misfortune of experiencing.) :pinkiesick:

Sorry it wasn't your cup-o-tea, but I do appreciate the critique, I am trying to improve.

Yeash augaug i luv it

I cannot critique this fic. That is a regret I am forced to live with. But I can say that it's among my favorite reads, and it's a genuine favorite now. A lot of the time while I was reading I could see just how it would look if it was animated by WarpOut of Lullaby for a Princess fame, which only maximized my enjoyment of the story. Reading it like a performance brings out a tone of emotion for me to the point I feel what the characters are feeling and I sympathize with them.

This is story is something I think Hasbro should've devoted an episode to or something, I was ticked that the episode in question didn't end with Celestia scolding Twilight on her behavior (then I remembered it was a little girls cartoon,) so I'm happy to see a fic like this which does exactly what I would've liked to see (minus the ending which I'd enjoy as a fan-fic ending :derpytongue2: ) and add a new aspect of Twilight being biased.

I enjoyed it, I think it's fantastic, it satisfied me. I am shocked it wasn't rated higher but what can ya do.

"I can't even enter a room without cake anymore without..."

I think that's supposed to be: "I can't even enter a room with cake anymore without..." Unless that was your intention.

7266659

"I can't even enter a room without cake anymore without..."

Fixed :twilightblush:

As I said before, this had originally gone to a darker place, then a much more levity filled place, then back again. It was tough to nail the right mood down.

7268171 Well, I'd say you nailed it perfectly. :pinkiesmile: I tip my hat to this fic, good sir. :twilightsmile:

Celestia’s eyes widened. “You cannot mean that, Twilight.” A look of uncertainty worked its way across her features. “I thought I taught you better than to judge ponies for their differences. Where did you pick up such poisoned, such… tainted ideas?”

Twilight stared firmly at her own hooves.

“Twilight! Answer me!”

“YOU, Alright?” Twilight exploded.

Celestia stumbled backwards, a shocked expression frozen in rictus across her features.

“I Learned it by watching YOU!” Twilight exploded, again.

Really?:ajbemused:
First, Celestia said this:

She paused, then whispered through gritted teeth, "I can't even enter a room with a cake in it anymore without..."

Then later on this:

Cake, Twilight. Copious amounts of cake.”

Not exactly helping to not prove that paper true, princess.:facehoof::trollestia:

“Yeah Twilight,” said Pinkie Pie, bursting out from under the dining room table. "Ol' Sunbutt here's been buying enough from the Cakes to put the Twins through college!"

Oh come on.:unsuresweetie:

BTW, I feel this story should have been rated Teen.
Still gave this a like and a fav though.:pinkiehappy:

7728051
Hrmm, where to start...
Well, my parents were, indeed, shocked when I revealed to them that my love of 80s PSAs was a direct result of the fact that they found so much humor in them as well. "Parents who find PSAs hilarious and memetic, have children who think that PSAs are hilarious and memetic." :trollestia:

Comment #2, Electric Boogaloo:
Celestia is her own worst public relations nightmare.

And... I couldn't help but add an homage to The Simpsons.

7728061
This story has, at some point in time, been in all 3 categories.

Draft 1 was M. I was not very happy with were it was going (very dark) and scrapped it.

Draft 2 was teen and still seemed "eh"

All subsequent drafts had me struggling to keep it borderline E, so I can see why it could lean that way.

And tyvm for that. :twilightsmile:

Here I was expecting Twilight to tell Celestia that all the Equestria ending threats have been used up for the month, so she had to improvise a life or death situation for Starlight to learn about friendship, the same way Celestia taught her (by sending her against an alicorn that tried to kill her several times with no information whatsoever, instead telling her to make friends). Then I expected Twilight to bring up how she was picked purely for her magical potential (and maybe Sunset as well), and how Celestia's school is only for gifted unicorns, with no equivalent for the other two tribes. As for Trixie, I can not figure out why the show hates her so much. What did she do wrong in her first episode? She put on a show that all of Ponyville liked except for the 3 biggest braggarts in Equestria (who got shown up trying to show her up) and Spike. She had nothing to do with the Ursa, and her home got destroyed, then she got slandered so much by Ponyville that she couldn't put on a show anywhere. Then she goes crazy because of the alicorn amulet, wanting revenge on the one that got all the praise and credit for destroying her life (note, Rarity also went crazy from an evil item, while Twilight and Starlight didn't even need one and whose actions would've caused much more damage than Trixie, yet they got instant forgiveness). Then the writers decided to have Trixie attempt suicide, after she's been "humbled" (or cowed into seeing herself as inferior, even though only Twilight, who was born strong through destiny and Starlight, and maybe Sunset and Shining Armor, are the only unicorns we've seen stronger than her).

"Where did you pick up such poisoned, such… tainted ideas?”

Twilight stared firmly at her own hooves.

“Twilight! Answer me!”

“YOU, Alright?” Twilight exploded.

Celestia stumbled backwards, a shocked expression frozen in rictus across her features.

“I Learned it by watching YOU!” Twilight exploded, again.

"Parents who use drugs have children who use drugs." :rainbowlaugh:

Celestia acknowledging her own faults while still sticking true to the events of canon? How very rare! I applaud you good sir!

Celestia acts childish in this story.

So.

Did Celestia also yell at Trixie for intentionally driving a wedge between Starlight and Twilight? Or is this another instance of It's Okay When Trixie Does It?

Also, the discussion could've been over with pretty quickly, all in all. Like this:

"Twilight! Why did you nearly not step in with Starlight and Trixie?! Just think of what could have happened!"
"But I did."
"But what if you didn't!!!"
"But. I did."

Celestia is asking Twilight to be utterly perfect here. She's driving her only more to put all blame for everything happening around her on herself, which is something Twilight shouldn't do, and has caused her terrible heartache in the past. And in the process, she absolves those who really do terrible things of their guilt. Like Luna, who threw a temper tantrum that nearly tore Equestria into eternal darkness, and Trixie, who befriended the emotionally vulnerable Starlight in order to act out her grudge against Twilight out of jealousy.

So, before I respond to the comments, Ill start by saying that yesterday is when I noticed that this story had suddenly, inexplicably, received an influx of views and votes and comments. This is unprecedented in my FiMFiction tenure and I have no idea what prompted it. For perspective, the story's viewership and total votes has more than doubled in the last 24 hours, and the story has been out since May... :derpyderp1:

Now, I am more thankful than I can properly state, it's amazing to have such a reaction. :twilightsmile:

But I am also a bit freaked out by the whole thing as well... :pinkiegasp:

Anyways, onto the responses!

7775230
This started as a "Celestia berates Twilight for almost causing a suicide" reaction fic. As I wrote it (and it went to some dark, dark places in draft 1) I suddenly found myself facing that very question. I had never originally intended to face the discrimination issue, but found myself unable to avoid it.

7775482
Most definitely. :derpytongue2:
I posted a video link to that commercial somewhere in here.

7775492
Tyvm. :twilightsmile:

7776229
It was tough to come to this resolution. My original ending had her not acknowledging or accepting her own hypocrisy on the matter. It was a study in "how far down is rick bottom?" I stopped writing before I got there, but it was bad.

7776300
True, I think she's does at first. She does eventually pull out of that rut, though. My original draft had her much more childish. A child would have refused to accept any fault, and would have kept the blame squarely on Twilight until the two departed in tears, never to speak again.

7777075
Ooooooh, a critique. :raritystarry:
But why would she yell at Trixie? Celestia never taught her any better, which is what the whole argument is about. Celestia is berating Twilight because Twilight is The Princess of Friendship and, more importantly, was taught by Celestia herself. Seeing flaws in Twilight's actions is like seeing flaws in herself. And no one likes to see their own flaws. The reason she doesn't go after Trixie is that it's not her (metaphorical) kid. "Let their parents worry."

Well, Twilight is full of self doubt. There is a good argument that her not stopping the show and her relying on Starlight, who very well might have been too absorbed in sadness to act, to save Trixie, was gambling with another pony's life. No matter who that pony is, that's wrong.

You are absolutely right. Celestia is holding her to unrealistic expectations. People do it all the time, especially when they've had a hoof in their training/upbringing. And the moral I was going for in this story was, in fact, hypocrisy. :raritywink:

7778811

this story had suddenly, inexplicably, received an influx of views and votes and comments. This is unprecedented in my FiMFiction tenure and I have no idea what prompted it.

When I saw it, it was at the top of the "Popular Stories" column on the main page.

“YOU, Alright?” Twilight exploded.

Celestia stumbled backwards, a shocked expression frozen in rictus across her features.

“I Learned it by watching YOU!” Twilight exploded, again.

Somepony must have been watching this commercial.

8012115
I linked it somewhere in the comments.
Remember: Mentors who use unicorn magic, have students who use unicorn magic.

Cake is the answer, what's the question? :pinkiehappy:

I'm glad you did not grim-dark this, it wouldn't have survived, but as it is you got it about right, and got a lot of views and comments too, that should be satisfying...

I have a feeling it would help some fiction writers to keep the "true demographic" in mind when they write, part of the charm of MLP is how they handle even adult concepts in a way that children can get something from the story, while occasionally throwing in a deeper layer for the more adult fans as well. Because of that I'm not so sure that Trixie was meant to come across as suicidal so much as foolishly. Could be wrong, but suicide just seems too deep for the show somehow.

8169805

Cake is always the answer, unless it's a lie. :trollestia:

I save the Grimdark for the Grimdarkness of my Grimdark MLP40k fics... Grimdark. :pinkiecrazy:

The layers are due to extensive rewrites. :twilightblush:

Celestia save us from lies! I like cake. :pinkiegasp:

That was a nice little story.

8362606
To quote a certain Polynesian demi god, YW!

8362676
Now I must watch the music video... :derpyderp2:

8469214
I'm sure Celestia would... if it wouldn't mean losing her primary cake deliverer.

My only complaint is the use of the phrase "leaving and never come back". When Twilight opted to do it, she would've been alive. When Trixie attempted to do it, she'd die.

8510092
Just remember, Twilight isn’t being accurate, she’s stumbling for words and describing the closest approximation in her own mind to suicidal ideation. She’s never gotten that low, so she’s relating as best she can to her own experience.

8513319
Oh. That makes sense. I probably would too.

8713735
That’s ok, because I’m not writing this comment right now. :trollestia:

7244092
Let's not forget that Spike also encouraged them to do so.

7775230
Yeah, I'll never understand the hate Trixie gets either.

9415299
Yeah, Trixie never got the love in the older seasons. They’ve done some nice stuff with her recently though, which I am very glad for. They’ve even made her do heroics, which is great.

A refreshing little read. However: the tragedy tag is unnecessary and Nightmare Night should always be capitalized. It’s a proper holiday.

“Then you remember how you felt when all of your friends left you?”

Canterlot Wedding too, Celestia - in which even you left Twilight. Even you ignored her deductions and her worries over her former (and beloved) foalsitter and her brother.
It's a wonder how things didn't go disastrously wrong.

The stern look never left Celestia’s face. “Twilight, you cannot afford to make mistakes like this. You have responsibilities. You cannot allow your personal feelings for another pony to cloud your judgement. I don’t understand, though; you fully forgave Starlight, a pony who altered history to take revenge upon you. Yet Trixie only ever wanted to show you up, even when she was possessed by the Alicorn Amulet. She wasn’t in control of her actions.”

Trixie literally did nothing wrong in the first appearance of the show. Her job is literally a showman job, of course shes going to act high and mighty and all, its how she makes money tf.

Twilight paused for a deep breath. “Everything you had me study, everything , it all was about how pony magic, unicorn magic, was the only true magic. I've learned so much since I came to Ponyville. There are things that our magic can’t explain, like Pinkie’s ‘Pinkie Sense,’ or Zecora’s ‘completely not magical’ potions.

Huh, that make sense now I can see another version of how Sunset ended up as she did.

10580600
Don’t have to convince me.

I’ve argued on Trixie’s behalf before. She’s a showmare & dealt with show hecklers the way most comedians do, making them look foolish, but in the end, no harm no foul. Then she enjoyed some much earned success, ie groupies. Then two psycho fans went and pulled a dangerous animal to town. She selflessly tried to stay back & deal with the ursa even though she knew she couldn’t do anything, which resulted in the loss of her home and business. She could have just grabbed her cart and left. But she stayed. And Ponyville didn’t reimburse her. And people wonder why she went searching for revenge (btw this revenge originally consisted of just embarrassing twilight, but the alicorn amulet was cursed and caused all the ensuing shenanigans).

Anyhow, the story isn’t told from our point of view. Twilight’s view is colored by her experience, she obviously still had it out for Trixie. And Celestia only ever had Twilight’s recount of events per the friendship reports.

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