Finding Morty
The throne room of Canterlot was a quaint room in both senses of the word: it was unusual, and it was old-fashioned. It was unusual for its cathedral-like dedication to fountains that trickled on both sides of the path that connected the Princesses’ thrones from the doors. It was old-fashioned in the sense that it was the better part of two millenia old, though almost none of the original stonework had survived the variety of battles and failed usurpations that took place in the room on what seemed almost a weekly basis.
Sitting on her throne, Princess Celestia of Equestria watched as her old student paced up to her throne, holding a purple-bound tome in her magic, and abruptly slammed it onto the velvet carpet between them. “Okay, what’s the big joke?”
“Joke, Sunset?” Celestia asked, raising one brow.
Sunset Shimmer nodded. “A Beginner’s Guide to Heroism? Really? Princess, I know I haven’t been the best student, but did you really have to hire somepony to make a joke book like this? Then you passive-aggressively mail it to me in the human world?”
Celestia frowned. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. Why do you believe this is a prank?”
“You expect me to honestly believe there was another wizard of Star Swirl’s caliber? And in all my studies, we never once talked about him? And then you expect me to believe that another one of your students married Queen Platinum and Commander Hurricane’s daughter?”
“Well… yes. You haven’t heard of Wintershimmer because Star Swirl, Luna, and I agreed that his research wasn’t suitable for the public. I keep the only remaining copies of his work sealed in my private library.”
“And the anachronisms?” Sunset pressed. “This ‘Morty’ couldn’t have actually written this book, even if he is real. It’s even on the very first page!” Her magic flipped open the book, holding it aloft. “He talks about ‘Exhibit B’, as though the Equestrian legal system would be anywhere near that sort of terminology! But referring to evidence as exhibits wouldn’t have come up for another five hundred years after his death—and that’s assuming he lived to be one hundred! And he makes jokes in Prench, even though that language wouldn’t split off from Equiish for another hundred years after that! And then there’s the most flagrant one of all!” Sunset’s magic flipped through the book at blinding speed, peeling nearly to the very end, where she thrust the open pages toward Celestia. “Daring Do and the Very Handsome Necromancer?! A.K. Yearling is only, what forty? So this book obviously can’t be that old!”
Celestia lowered her head, where it swiveled from side to side. “I see your confusions. And yes, those are all very valid points, Sunset.”
“So why did you send me this… this novel?”
Before Celestia could reply, the doors to the throne room creaked open. A single mare walked through before the guards closed it again; her magenta mohawk and broken off horn attracted Sunset’s attention first, though soon after her formidable steel armor demanded its own helping of attention.
“Celestia,” the obvious soldier greeted rather sternly. “You wanted me for something?”
“Ah, good. Tempest, this is my former student, Sunset Shimmer. Sunset, this is Tempest Shadow.”
Sunset frowned at the other unicorn. “Twilight mentioned you.”
“Great,” Tempest muttered. “Another perfect first impression and I’ve barely said anything. Why am I here?”
Celestia gestured down to the book in Sunset’s grip. “Did you read what I sent?”
“If this is a book club, I’m going to blow something up,” Tempest replied, before reaching into her armor and pulling out matching book with her teeth. It dropped onto the floor a moment later with a dull thud. “I read the book. He seems like an asshole.”
“Good.” Celestia nodded. “Then we’re all on the same page. I called you both here because you both owe Equestria a debt, and I need a favor.”
“A debt?” Tempest glanced at Sunset out of the corners of her eyes. “What’d you do?”
“I just stole a crown,” Sunset answered. “And a few bits.”
“Ten thousand,” Celestia observed dryly. “I also know that some more Equestrian gold would be very helpful to you in the human world, Sunset. So in addition to forgiving what you’ve done, I’ll also pay you for this. Twenty thousand bits, each.”
Tempest’s eyes widened, and then very quickly narrowed. “Big money and amnesty. And instead of your own little ponies, you call two outsiders with criminal pasts. This is going to get us killed, isn’t it?”
“Of course not!” Sunset protested. “Don’t talk to Princess Celestia that way.”
“Calm, Sunset,” Celestia chided gently. “Tempest is right, in a way. What I’m asking might involve some danger, though I honestly do not know how much. Tempest, I called you both for a different reason. Sunset is Equestria’s foremost expert on magical portals, which I think will be helpful later. And in addition to skill in combat, you have something special to gain from this.”
In response to Tempest’s raised eyebrow, Celestia lowered her head, gesturing to the broken stub of her horn.
“My… my horn?”
“Mares, let me cut to the chase.” Celestia lifted Tempest’s copy of Coil’s text, offering it to her. “I want you to find Morty.”
“What?” Sunset asked. “Hold on, we still haven’t gotten past the point that he is obviously made up—”
“Sunset, I lived through this,” Celestia noted. That blunt, simple statement seemed to finally settle the question for Sunset, or at least she stopped pressing.
“Okay, so… Like, his tomb or something?” Sunset asked.
“Or is he undead?” Tempest followed up.
“I do not know,” Celestia answered. “When last I saw him, two hundred years ago, he was just as alive as I am. You see, a very long time ago, Morty managed to stop himself from aging.”
“What?” Sunset frowned. “So this book…”
“It was originally intended for the young stallion who would later become King Sombra of the Crystal Empire,” Celestia explained. “Hence the rather specific note in the ending about the Equestrian throne. He was hoping it would convince Sombra to use his considerable magic for good. That was only a few decades before my sister became Nightmare Moon.” The alicorn glanced pointedly toward Sunset. “Well after the invention of Prench and legal terms like ‘exhibit’.”
“No way…” Sunset whispered.
Tempest almost lunged at the alicorn. “You’re saying he can fix my horn?”
“I cannot make any promises.” Celestia sighed. “But he did fix his own. I know that he must still be out there somewhere, however, because of what you aptly pointed out, Sunset. Archmage Hourglass’ accidental prophecy about Daring Do.”
“Where are we supposed to start, if you don’t have any clue?” Tempest asked. “Do you have a lead at all?”
“Very little,” Celestia answered. “But if Hourglass was telling the truth, Morty will have to come back soon if he wants to ghost write one of those novels. So I am confident you will succeed.” Celestia’s horn lit, lifting a scroll from beside her throne. “He’s searching for this.” Depicted on the page, sketched with an eye for detail, was an amulet—perhaps a locket—in roughly the shape of a shield. Carved into the otherwise smooth face was a small symbol: a rapier thrust downward through the center of a jeweled tiara.
Sunset grabbed her copy of Beginner’s Guide, flipping through the first few chapters, occasionally letting her gaze jump between the book and the scroll. “That’s Gale’s cutie mark, isn’t it?” she asked.
Celestia nodded, rolling up the scroll and passing it to her former student. “The last thing I know is that there is one place Morty would frequent; I lost its location to the sands of southern Equestria, but recently, that lead has become available to me again.” Celestia gestured with a wing to a corner of the throne room and to Sunset’s surprise, a pegasus approached who she had not seen before. The tan mare wore a beautiful white headdress and gown of light linens.
“Greetings,” said the mare. “I am Somnambula.”
“Hi,” Tempest replied, tipping her head.
Sunset was absorbed in flipping open Beginner’s Guide yet again. “Wait… you aren’t… this Somnambula, are you?”
“She is,” Celestia noted, hiding a slight amusement with the crest of a wing. “I would have thought you knew, Sunset. Twilight and her friends recently retrieved the six Pillars from Limbo.”
“I know it has been a long time, but from my perspective, it has only been three months since I last saw Mortal Coil. I am most excited to hear if his romance with the Princess was successful.”
“You… but…” Sunset blubbered. “Gah! And I thought magic leaking into the human world was insane!”
“Human?” Tempest asked.
“You don’t wanna know,” Sunset offered, putting a hoof on Tempest’s shoulder.
Celestia smiled. “Then there’s only one more member of your little team to introduce.” Beckoning with a wing, the alicorn turned to the far side of the room.
The pony who entered obviously thought he was an impressive force, which stood at stark odds with his diminutive height. Broad, sculpted forelegs gave the impression the stallion was compensating, and a black jacket and mane on a blood red coat immediately brought to Sunset’s mind two words from the book she had just finished.
Evil cult.
Still, he wore a gilded guardspony cuirass underneath the jacket.
“Mares, this is Lieutenant Red Ink, from my Honor Guard. I know what I’m asking is dangerous, so even with your experience, I wanted to offer you at least one more career soldier.”
“Career soldier?” Somnambula asked.
“She means me,” Tempest noted dryly, turning her attention on Red Ink. “If you’re such a hotshot guard, where were you when I took over Canterlot?”
In a thick Stalliongradi accent, the small stallion delivered the answer “Elementary school” like it was a one-liner from a Con Mane film.
Celestia waved her hoof. “Now, everypony, your first stop should be Ponyville; Twilight has been doing no small amount of research on the early Equestrian time period, and she may have knowledge of some lead I’ve overlooked. One word of caution: you are absolutely not to speak of Archmage Hourglass except amongst yourselves. I will provide you with an airship and a few supplies to help your search. Do I have your support?”
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SEQUEL! :D
One of the best stories I've ever read.
Waiting for the sequel is going to kill me.
Extra noice. He did "become legend" and live forever.
Does Discord appear in any of the Price of Loyalty stories that you've written?
I loved this fic. Well done, a good mix of drama and comedy, and a reminder that heroes are flawed, yet one can always achieve such ideals.
8949105
He's very briefly in Honor Guard, in a scene that the show has since kind of made very weird by redeeming him.
Wow, I've read most of this site's top voted stories, but few of them are as good as this one IMO. Really amazing work you did there, I will definitely wait for the sequel
Sunset, Tempest, Somnambula, and Red Ink on an adventure together?
Well, color me all shades of really fucking interested.
8949277
Be sure to post a link to the continuation
8951264
I will once it's anywhere near ready. ;)
Good. Shit. This team looks like way more fun that anything like this has a right to be.
I didn't know how to sum up a final comment about such a good story but this chapter sealed the deal. Rather than have twists or power level increases or ever higher stakes, you've done a great job periodically recontextualizing the narrative. It starts off with a witty glass cannon of a massage in a privileged but uneasy position. Actually it's about heroism. Actually it's about dark necromancy. Actually it's about palace intrigue. Actually it's about fellow travelers. Actually it's about running from the law. Actually it's about romance. Actually it's about going down the list of the greatest magicians in the world to figure out what's going on and a way to eke out a life. Actually it's about the history of the worlds civilizations. Actually it's about heroism again, but with the weight of everything above, not just when it's convenient. And on and on. There are plenty of stories that do this and throw in the kitchen sink. But here it never bogs down the plot, and these things do not need to complete for screen time. It's all subplots, no sidequests.
This is an amazing story. Absolutely amazing. Thank you for taking us on this journey . On a side note, we've just got to see The Courting of Princess Platinum III!
Oh hey, Sunset.
Nice.
Oh hey, Tempest.
Ooooo.
Whoops.
Thanks, Starlight.
Oh no.
Sunset, Tempest, Somnomnom, and Red Ink going off to find Morty, I want this story to as much as I want Tales.
Great story, I can't wait to read the sequel(s).
What a fantastic story!!! When the Loyal returned from his absence I was initially disappointed that he did not continue with Rainbow's saga (that cliff hanger is still haunting me) and started this story instead.
Having now read this I have no such complaints, this is easily one of the better stories I have read, I loved the characters and the detailed plot and hope for more of Morty's escapades in the future. I am curious as to how Hurricane gets his limbs restored and becomes the undead Commander we meet in the books set later in this universe. I hope that will be told in a later book.
Many thank you's for coming back to the site and for this excellent yarn.
Just got done rereading this, any word on the sequel?
9352453
It's in progress. I don't have a good final estimate of anything yet though.
Just finished readin and it was a very enjoyable read.
Morty was an amazing asshole, and the rest of the cast was surprisingly likable as well.
I am looking forward to a sequel, you wrote something really good and you should feel good.
So I take it we will be getting a sequel? And if so do have any estimations on when we will be getting this story? This story was crazy good fun and I would love another one with Morty in it.
Goddamn this is a good story! The entire cast is so likable! I think my next DnD character is getting based off of a certain sassy necromancer. My only problem is now I have to wait for the sequel to update.
10290224
Lol! Morty was a D&D character! In a 3.5/PF game (when Pathfinder 1 was brand new) with the Gestalt variant rules, he was a...
Well, let's see...
Wizard (Necromancer)/Cleric of Wee Jas (goddess of necromancy)/Dread Necromancer/True Necromancer/Pale Master... and maybe a couple of other PrCs and shenanigans on the side. Everyone in that campaign was massively over-optimized (the GM told us to go all out), and he was probably the worst of the party. Finger of Death, DC 241 or so, in case you were wondering the correct implementation of Wintershimmer's Razor. He wasn't quite as sharp-tongued (there's only so much of his dialogue I can come up with off the top of my head; most of the really good lines do take some thought - or me sitting bolt upright in bed at 2 AM, throwing them into Discord with my editors sans any sort of explanation, and falling back asleep), but he was just as (if not more) egotistical, though also more than a bit more paranoid - instead of an evil mentor and absent parents, his dad was a paladin of Pelor (god of hating undead) who wanted to smite him, and would have been very very effective at it. Morty's bit was that he wanted to make essentially a communist utopia built on undead labor, because undead weren't really evil as long as they weren't intelligent - they were basically just "golems by any other name." He really liked to rant about Cure Light Wounds being a necromancy spell like it was in 2nd Edition D&D, because "Conjuration (Healing)" is basically a lame excuse by game devs who want to make Necromancy abjectly evil instead of having any kind of philosophical depth to it.
It occurs to me now that arguing about that with my friends at college was the reason I built Morty in the first place. So, in a roundabout way, this whole fic is like a really petty rant about a relative footnote in a set of D&D rules that came out 20 years ago, taken way past its logical extreme.
In that campaign he also made up the name 'Morty' himself, and it was a recurring joke that he genuinely thought that was a clever name for a necromancer, instead of just kind of tacky, and awful.
Graargh was also a PC - a dwarf druid who had been raised by bears and so considered himself a bear first and a dwarf... well, not at all. He wasn't a kid though, and he kinda really really hated Morty. (I think Morty wound up killing him?)
The other PCs from that party don't show up in BGH, but at least one of them is in Tales, updating every Tuesday at... whatever the hell time I happen to get off of work that day, PST.
I know it’s a joke the flat earth thing and the round earth conspirators, but assuming Morty is a reliable source on the subject and he being a scholar I hope that at least other planets in this world’s system have strange shapes too. Maybe a donut-shaped pink planet
I know that there’s like 0 point in commenting on this since it’s several years finished but holy shit I think this might be my favourite story on this site
Thank you for writing this masterpiece Loyal
10750369
I dunno that it's completely pointless; it might not make much of a difference to "the algorithm" since there's no new updates to this fic, but I appreciate it. And on that note, thank you for commenting; it means a lot to me.
I guess, feel free to comment on the sequel, since that will help it? ;) I promise, once life stops being so completely insane, I am planning to get back on the weekly updates for it.
10751328
I’m actually binging the sequel right now and loving every second of it
I don’t really mind how long it takes to update (granted the faster the better), as long as it doesn’t die
You can has review!
This is one of the best stories I've read on Fimfiction; there aren't many that would keep me up reading until 4.00 AM for several days in a row.
10/10, totally worth it.
10804325
Your review led me to this gem. Thank you so much!
There is no loose ends, good suspense, good character development, nice known character inclusion.
Amazing story, one of the best i read actually. I wait with anticipation any sequels you finish. Thank you.
Already enjoying this, so have Thumbs Up #200!
Freaking heck yeah, this was such a good story. It reminded me how much I loved the Price of Loyalty-verse and need to read more of the stories.
Also man am I excited to start the sequel. Gonna save that a little bit, but man, more of Morty and the gang will be awesome!
(Also official second Where Loyalties Lie book when? 👀 I'm still gonna read the old book 2, cause you can't stop me.
)
Oh, this was outstanding. Meticulously crafted and thoroughly thrilling. Morty is the most lovably hateable little shit of a hero I've ever had the delight of encountering. This was my first glimpse at this continuity, but I'm definitely going to need look into it more. Thank you for a fantastic read.
So I blitzed this faster than a Hollywood producer does a line in an Applebee’s bathroom and BOY am I not regretting that! Over the past two days, I’ve consumed this and it has given me delightful insights into moving parts, a spellcraft system that is very polished by the standard of this site, and a lot of traits reminiscent to the best parts of the Weedverse. Setting aside the comparisons between Tarnished Teapot and Mortal Coil (Although that is a very easy comparison to make and yet very interesting to pick apart the minutia of), I’m shocked I hadn’t heard of this continuity yet.
Rest assured, I apparently have a good amount more reading ahead of me. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for Morty and friends in Graargh and Angel: Suite Life on Deck. Here’s to seeing him boggle the minds of modern Equus yet.
Well.... Fuck. Finished that story too soon. At least there's a sequel! Oh my lack of sleep is gonna kill me at this point. Happen to know any good Necromancers about?
Some time ago, I read "I, Witness" and then somehow proceeded never to read anything else from your catalogue.
I can now say that was firmly an utter mistake on my part, and has somehow resulted in excellent stories like this one inexplicably flying under my radar. I truly enjoyed reading this in a way I haven't felt in a good long while - feeling the urge to just go "One more chapter...!" when I should really be putting the story down and getting to work/sleep/something-other-probably-more-productive.
There's a lot to unpack here about exactly why I love this story so much - the vivid descriptiveness, the deeply amusing humor, the inventive use of magic - but I'm going to narrow it down to what I briefly consider the three key points.
- First, the world. I do truly love a world with some thought behind it. I also happen to love stories which take Equestria's high-fantasy setting quite seriously, and so you've managed to tickle my fancy quite effectively. This feels like a rich, complex, and fascinating world - one I'm genuinely interested in finding out more about (Yes, I will be reading the other Price of Loyalty stories!). It kept me going because I didn't know what to expect next out of the world; parallels weren't easy to draw, and whether the histories or the characters that inhabit it, I never felt that Morty's experience existed in a vacuum.
- Second, the character voices. Not the characters themselves - although don't get me wrong, you've got a superb cast here, in all their delightful flaws - but the way you voice them: Each and every character has a different way of speaking, sometimes subtle and sometimes glaring. It's a thing that moves the cast description from merely good to excellent. Voicing characters properly is a tricky thing - one I struggle with myself - and you've managed it quite well. This not only makes the characters richer, but reading easier: I don't have to pause and thing 'hmm, who is this one again...?' - the voice tells it for me.
- Lastly, the antagonist is reactive. It's a subtle thing, but one I find surprisingly important in retrospect: In so many stories, the antagonist has their scheme, and the hero counters it, and that's that. The antagonists' choices are apparently written in stone, and they never consider significantly modifying their plans as time goes on and the hero begins upsetting things. Not so here - Wintershimmer plays his cards intelligently, readjusting things when Morty proves uncooperative. This both confirms his intelligence as an antagonist - rather than the audience simply being told - and makes Morty's eventual realization of the full scope of the plan and victory over Wintershimmer that much more satisfying: I feel Morty won against an individual, not a character-shaped sandbag to be kicked over.
If I were to give two critiques to this story, it would be this:
- First, towards the end, when Morty is explaining the mechanics of the magic, it does get a touch confusing at points. I think part of the issue here is that you're essentially working on made-up rules of magic and souls, so it's hard to tell where things were established in the past. I had to pause, re-read a few times, and go back to previous segments to figure out where things were established.
- The late-introduced Equestria Girls references feel... awkward. Shoehorned in a bit, because they run so deeply contrary to the world as it had been built up to this point - you're inheriting all the issues Equestria Girls itself had in being integrated to FiM, but even moreso because you chose to actually put effort into making the world a coherent high-fantasy one.
Fantastic story and well written.
11270183
Counterpoint to your last point:
Sunset Shimmer automatically improves any story she is included in.