• Published 20th Jun 2012
  • 10,427 Views, 280 Comments

The Science of Magic - cammerhammer



Lyra is just good enough at magic to be dangerous, and more than unlucky enough to unstone Discord as a result. Chaos magic is stolen, books are overdue, and lyres are used as clubs.

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Chapter Ten - Exotic Bird Bingo is Overrated, Anyway

"Have we arrived yet, Twilight Sparkle?"

Luna and Lyra stifled their laughter as they saw Twilight's hackles rise along her back. "No."

Luna waited a beat. "How about now?"

The sound of teeth grinding screeched on their ears like nails on a chalkboard. "No."

Another beat. "Twilight Sparkle, when—"

"For the last time, we are not there yet and we will not be there for two more days. If you ask me again I will feed you poison joke for breakfast tomorrow!"

At Twilight's outburst, Lyra and Luna lost all shreds of restraint and burst into laughter, leaning against each other for support as Twilight stomped ahead of them. "Oh, you were right, Lyra Heartstrings," Luna exclaimed merrily. "This is an enjoyable endeavor! I never knew how amusing it could be to repeatedly ask the same questions!"

"Told you so." Lyra giggled as they trotted to catch up with Twilight. She limped as she trotted, but they needed to keep going. She steeled herself internally, forcing a smile. "Still, we should probably wait a little before asking again. We don't want to get her too mad."

Luna pouted and shifted the star she was carrying on her back. "Aww, is there nothing else we can do? Travelling by hoof is so boring."

Lyra thought back to the rare occasions when her family would take a couple weeks off to go to the beach. What did they do to pass the time while they rode in a train or walked to their destination? "Hmm... we could play the alphabet game."

"Pray tell, what manner of game is this?"

"Well, what you do is look for a word on a road sign that begins with the letter A. When you find one, you call it out and you win a point. Once 'A' is found, you find a word that begins with 'B,' until you finish the alphabet. Whoever has the most points when you reach 'Z' wins."

Luna nodded sagely. "A delightful notion, Lyra Heartstrings, save for one problem."

"And that is?"

Luna shifted the weight of the star on her back to gesture at the path around them. "Tell me, when is the last time you have seen signage of any sort?"

Lyra looked around and blinked before giving a nervous chuckle. "Oh. Right." She quickly moved on from the awkward moment. "Do you need help carrying that star?"

The princess snorted as she cradled the rock between her shoulders. "I highly doubt you would be able to remain standing, much less walk if I placed this on your shoulders, Lyra Heartstrings. It weighs over a thousand pounds."

The green unicorn gaped at Luna, stunned into silence. The princess shrugged, the fallen star shifting as she did so. "There is more to being a princess of Equestria than royal formalities."

"But... even an earth pony couldn't carry it that easily if it weighs that much."

"Lyra Heartstrings, Celestia and I embody the traits of all three subtypes of ponies. Each part strengthens the other, giving us abilities far beyond what each part could accomplish on its own. It is why I can carry this star with little difficulty, and how my sister and I can move celestial bodies, and fly without tiring. We are blessed and cursed beyond compare, save for Discord himself."

Lyra stared. "...Wow. You really like monologuing." After a few moments passed, Lyra suddenly realized what she said, clapping a hoof over her mouth and flushing brightly. "I'm so sorry, Princess Luna. I don't know why I said that."

Luna squinted at the mare, scrutinizing her carefully, before she nodded and resumed walking. "Have you any more suggestions for entertainment?"

Lyra hummed a random tune, trying to think of something to stave off the boredom. Suddenly, she shuddered, her concentration shattered by a horrendous bout of itchiness that had been getting steadily worse throughout the morning. She reached to her flank with a hoof, scratching madly at her skin. Luna noticed the frantic scratching and gave Lyra a funny look. "... Are you well, Lyra Heartstrings?"

Lyra looked at her hoof, where a startling amount of her fur had rubbed off her flank onto the appendage. "I'm fine." She was startled as Twilight reminded them that she was still a little ahead of them as she voiced an option.

"We could always try identifying the local flora of the forest! For example, the flowers on the side of the path are Matricaria recutita, more commonly referred to as wild cha—"

"Twilight, I don't want to complain, but please, please, please do not play 'Flower Bingo' again. You went through six cards of that and two cards of 'Exotic Bird Bingo' on the way here."

"I offered you a card to give you something to do, but you always said no."

Lyra huffed. "I can't identify birds or flowers to save my life. Please, just let me play some music."

"I already said no. The last time you did, we encountered an Ursa Major."

"That was just a coincidence!"

"Lyra, please. I know it's silly to assume that correlation implies causation, but I would rather not take any chances, especially since we are escorting Princess Luna while she is in a weakened sta..." Twilight trailed off as she realized that the aforementioned princess was giving her a rather displeased look. "Um, well, Princess Luna, you are rather weak at the moment. I would rather us not take any chances at the—"

"Twilight Sparkle, I have fought in more battles and defeated more eldritch abominations than you could dare to imagine. If you think I am incapable of handling myself in a crisis, you insult me more than you think." She turned to Lyra with a determined expression. "I would appreciate it greatly if thou wouldst grace us with thine instrumentations, minstrel."

Lyra gulped nervously, levitating her lyre from her saddlebags. "My playing won't be as good while we're moving, Princess."

"Yes, I know most musicians dislike using magic to play music, but we must keep moving. Twilight Sparkle has impressed upon us the importance of haste. I would appreciate it if you could improvise for my sake."

The green mare nodded and looked down at her lyre, quickly giving it a strum to ensure it was in tune. Lyra ran through song options in her head as she was making some minor adjustments on the newer strings. She had many songs memorized and she could probably figure out the chord progression to some more, but she had absolutely no idea what Luna wanted to hear.

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) for Lyra, the chaos magic residing within her made a choice on its own. She felt her magic reaching out towards the lyre and swirl around the strings, coating them in a distortion spell and starting to strum the instrument, giving the appearance that the lyre was haunted. As Lyra recognized the intro to the song that was playing, she silently cursed her luck. This has got to be the worst choice of music for this occasion... Before she could apologize to Luna, who appeared to be surprised by the sudden distort on the instrument, her compulsion to sing the lyrics to any song she knew bubbled into fruition.

The secret side of me

I never let you see

I keep it caged

But I can't control it

So stay away from me

The beast is ugly

I feel the rage

And I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls

In the closet, in the halls

It comes awake

And I can't control it

Hiding under the bed

In my body, in my head

Why won't somebody come and save me from this?

Make it end!

Lyra's voice trailed away as she realized Luna knew the song and was singing it herself. She let the princess take over while she strummed her lyre, watching Luna pour her heart into the chorus with all the passion she could muster.

I feel it deep within,

It's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I've become

The nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep

Hid under lock and key

I keep it caged

But I can't control it

Cause if I let him out

He'll tear me up

And break me down

Why won't somepony come and save me from this?

Make it end!

I feel it deep within,

It's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I've become

The nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within,

It's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

Lyra looked over to Luna, unsettled by the shadow that seemed to fall over the princess. Her pupils were narrowing, neary draconic. Her periwinkle blue mane was becoming darker, wispier. A flash of light caught her teeth, giving Luna the appearance of fangs.

It's hiding in the dark

It's teeth are razor sharp

There's no escape for me

It wants my soul,

It wants my heart

No one can hear me scream

Maybe it's just a dream

Or maybe it's inside of me

Stop this monster!

I feel it deep within,

It's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I hate what I've become

The nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within,

It's just beneath the skin

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I'm gonna lose control

Here's something radical

I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster!

Lyra let the distortion spell on her lyre die. "I didn't know you listened to Griddle, Princess," she breathed.

Luna nodded ecstatically. "I have been acquainting myself with the intricacies of modern music, and it is very much enjoyable. Although my talent for music is limited, I can appreciate the effort that goes into it."

Lyra grinned broadly. "I think I found my new favorite princess.” She looked at her bandaged shoulder, shrugging it experimentally. When the usual pain that accompanied it failed to appear, she tugged at the bandage with her teeth, letting the gauze fall away.

A perfectly healthy shoulder revealed itself, the only sign of trauma being four faint scratch marks. "Hey, Twilight?"

"Yes, Lyra?"

"What is the probability of my shoulder being healed by now?"

Twilight slowed her walking and looked over at Lyra. "The likelihood of your shoulder recovering in three days is slim to none. Why?"

Lyra rotated her shoulder into view. Twilight's jaw dropped momentarily before she rushed over to examine the formerly wounded unicorn. "I don't understand! That chimera slashed your shoulder wide open! It should have taken weeks for those wounds to heal completely!"

Luna's eyes widened considerably as she heard Twilight's outburst, and she carefully set down the fallen star before rushing over to Lyra and examining the places where her coat was missing from the gouges. "Lyra Heartstrings, you were attacked by a chimera? You are sure of this?" She lowered her head, squinting and looking intently at the healed flesh.

Lyra squirmed uncomfortably under their combined scrutiny. "I'm pretty sure. Lion front, goat rear, snake tail."

"If you truly were injured by one, you should have died by now. Their claws have a powerful poison." She gave Lyra a serious look, focusing on her fang. "It appears that you have unnatural healing abilities, and your body is beginning to undergo major alterations."

Lyra gave a nervous laugh and quickly ducked her head, the chaos magic grabbing the discarded bandage and shredding it into confetti as she trotted ahead of her travel companions.

Luna kept her gaze trained on the green mare as she trotted ahead, then hefted Julianos between her wings and moved forward. "Twilight Sparkle, walk with me."

Twilight blinked and quickly caught up to Luna. "Yes, Princess?"

"I need you to keep an eye on Lyra Heartstrings."

Twilight nodded, looking a little hesitant. "I should have known that she couldn't be trusted—"

Luna gave her a sad look. "Twilight Sparkle, I have no doubt she can be trusted. However, Lyra Heartstrings is not the only entity residing within that body."

Twilight blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I have glimpsed her dreams. There is something else within her, and it is more than a mere echo or imprint of an eldritch horror's magic. Nay, I sense something much more definite." She looked at the ground. "I fear she will not be able to contain it forever. This... thing... it wants to be free."

Luna sighed and readjusted her stance, keeping her steps high as she kept the star carefully balanced on her back. "I must ask you, Twilight Sparkle, to accompany Lyra Heartstrings in whatever she does. Until we have safely locked away whatever is possessing her body, it would be folly for her to be alone for any length of time. Can you do that?"

Twilight looked ahead to Lyra, who was just out of earshot. The mare looked antsy, her hooves never staying in cadence as she trotted at a nervous pace. "I will, Princess Luna."

"Very good. Now, let us make haste for the castle. Julianos is heavy and I need to make sure he is well."

"Who is Julianos?"

Luna made a miffed expression as she tossed a glance to the silvery rock on her back. "The star, of course."

Twilight chuckled nervously. "Of course... the star."

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, not at all."


Lyra wondered what Twilight and Luna were talking about while she walked slowly along the path. She was tired of waiting for them to finish but she didn’t want to lose them in the ever present darkness of the Everfree Forest. She sighed, hefting her saddlebags off her back and to the side. She groaned as the weight was lifted from her back. "Ahhh, that's better."

Lyra was bothered by her shoulder. Even though it wasn’t injured anymore, she was still limping a little, like it had healed wrong or something. She stretched her leg and inspected it, looking for anything that would be causing the limp. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary. She shrugged and sat back in a suddenly appearing lawn chair, courtesy of chaos. Lyra continued to scratch at her flank a little more, just in front of her cutie mark.

Lyra felt her hoof brush against an odd texture and stopped to look down curiously. She brushed aside the thinning fur, thinking maybe she was acquiring a rash of some sort.

“Losing fur, walking funny, fangs, and chaos magic. I think I need a vacation."

Author's Note:

Song is "Monster" by Skillet.